Anime-a-Minute

[Joshua Christopher]

Dragonball Z, as taken from "DBZ IN A NUTSHELL!"

On the next episode of Dragonball Z!! Freeza and Cell have joined forces to put a stop to Goku and his Z-squad!

Goku: Well hey guys how's it goin' let's have a BBQ ha ha ha! Nothin' bad's gonna happen today hahaha!
Gohan: Oh yer right dad nothin bad's gonna happen today right Krillin?!
Krillin: Yeah well 'cuz I'm cool hey bro HA HA HA!
Gohan: Hahaha!
Goku: Hahaha!

A city explodes!

What's going on!

Freeza: These stupid humans walking around haha they are very week I will destroy them all with my...
...
Freeza: POWERFUL HANDS HAHAHA My super poweful hands!

Oh no what's that?! Oh no it's this guy and he's gonna kill us all!

Cell: hahaha!

Another city explodes.

WE NEED HELP!

Goku: Hey what's going on?!
Gohan: AH they're blowing up the city!
Goku: We need to go to someplace that's completely desolate and.. that would never be in real life at all and.. it's a bajillion miles wide and it would never be found on earth.. and it's right over there!

*FIGHTING!*

Goku: Oh no we need to follow him! *teleports*

*Lots of teleporting*

Cell: ha ha we fought! Now we will show you who is the most powerful!
Goku: Oh yeah, we are the most powerful 'cuz we are very strong!
Cell: Oh yeah well we are very strong too hahaha isn't that right Freeza!
Freeza: Hahah yeah we are very strong haahah you can't beat us 'cuz our power levels are above 1 million!
Goku: Oh yeah well.. our power levels are above TWO million..
Goku: And we can go SUPER SAYAJIN! HYAAA!
Freeza: Oh my gosh a super sayajin!
Cell: What are you talking about?! Super sayajins are foolish!
Krillin: Yeah he's a super sayajin but I can't do anything cuz I'm just a lousy human who's balding hahaha...heh...
Gohan: Hey look out!

*Krillin explodes*

Goku: Well it looks like it's just you and..you and ME! hahaha.. yeah that's right.
Freeza: Goku you are very weak hahaha I will defeat you now! HYA!

*Fighting*

Goku: You are very strong!
Freeza: So are you!
Goku: yeah, and we are also equal in power! I must do something drastic! HYA!
Freeza: Oh my gosh what happened!

*Freeza gets chopped in half*

Goku: Haha I defeated you! Now Freeza you are mine!
Freeza: Oh no I'm defeated!
Goku: I'll let you go cuz I'm such a good guy!

Goku: Hahahaha!
Krillin: Hey Goku how's it goin' wanna have a BBQ?!
Goku: Okay hahaha!

THE END

((((I encourage you all to go out on Google and find "DBZ In a nutshell"))))

[Gypsy]

Ed: Faye-faye, spike-spike wooooogie woogie fish EIN bean shiney! Yay!

In keeping up with the trend of quoting people in sigs, I just found mine.

[shooraijin]

We had a Ranma already, so

Urusei Yatsura

Ataru: Heehehehe! *chases women*
Ryuunosuke: I'm a girl, you jerk!
Ryuunosuke's dad: No, you're not!
Ataru: Hehehehehe! Yes, she IS!
Onsen-Mark: Get back to class!
{Descent of some scantily clad female alien with roots in Japanese culture}
Scantily Clad Female Alien With Roots In Japanese Culture: I have come to either wreak havoc on the world, marry Ataru to prevent Lum from doing so, or wreak havoc on merely Tomobiki because no other town in the universe matters, depending on the episode and Mamoru Oshii's mood.
Cherry: It's an oni!
Sakura: Purify! Exorcise!
Ataru: I'll chase the Scantily Clad Female Alien instead!
Megane, Chibi, Perm, etc.: Curse you, Ataru!
Lum: How could you, Darling! *electrocutes Alien and Ataru*
Ran: I'll get you someday, Lum!
END OF EPISODE

And how could we forget Azumanga Daioo

Yukari: I'm so great! I'll prove it by humiliating Nyamo and dragging the class along on some hairbrained scheme to compete in worthless school sporting events!
Nyamo: Whatever.
Kagura: Yeah! I'll beat you this time, Sakaki!
Sakaki: I'd rather find the grey kitty ... oh, that kitty is so cute ... *loses finger*
Osaka: What the heck? Well, I'll do my best. I'll get it together! Get it together!
Chiyo-chan: *sobs* I ... I'm too short to play basketball! Or run! Or swim! Look, I'm drowning!
Yomi: Well, if you'd put your feet down, you'd probably be able to stand up.
Tomo: No, she can't! The shallow end is three feet! She's probably going to drown no matter what. Fortunately, I'll be her lifeguard, because lifeguards save people who are drowning and I'm totally heroic and stuff, and besides, I totally look the part, you know, since I look really good in a swimsuit ... unlike some people.
Yomi: What is THAT supposed to MEAN?!
Kimura: I think you ALL look good in swimsuits ... heheh hehehehheh .... *dodges shoes and flying objects*
UNINTELLIGIBLE NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW

[Maledicte]

Hey, if anyone's got a different verson of an anime that's already up here, go ahead and post it! We don't mind!...at least I don't

[Ren_sama]

Hey, if anyone's got a different verson of an anime that's already up here, go ahead and post it! We don't mind!...at least I don't

Dittos! ^_^ I'd love to hear other peoples versions! ^^

[Joshua Christopher]

THE BIG O

Roger: Dorothy stop playing that piano!

Dorothy: You're a jerk.

Beck: LOOK AT MY NEW HAIR!

Roger: BIG OOOOOO! SHOOOOOWTIIIIIIME!!!!

*Big O punches enemy robot*

*We have come to terms*

[TheMelodyMaker]

Sailor Moon (any episode) in a minute or less...


*a bunch of stuff happens*

Serena (Usagi): I hate homework!

Lita (Makoto): That reminds me of my old boyfriend.

Mina(ko): I want a boyfriend!

Raye (Rei): I sense something coming...

*monster appears, all undergo transformation with dazzling colorful effects*

Amy (Ami): I found its weakness!

*all blast the monster at its weak spot*

All: The day is saved yet once again!

Serena (Usagi): I hate homework!

Lita (Makoto): That reminds me of my old boyfriend.

Mina(ko): I want a boyfriend!

[Kisa]

Fruits Basket

Tohru: Ah! He turned into a (fill in the blank)

Sohmas: *sigh*

or

Kyo: I'm gonna kick your butt rat boy!

Yuki: Why do I put up with this?

LOL, hate doing that to such a good anime! It seems so wrong!

Inuyasha

Inuyasha: Gotta save kagome!

Kagome: Sit boy!

Miroku: "helping Sango too"

Sango: *slaps Miroku*

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Sakaki: I'd rather find the grey kitty ... oh, that kitty is so cute ... *loses finger*

Shoo... i will not forgive you for that. Never ever

[heero yuy 95]

OOOOhhh, ooohhhh. Here's one!
Macross 2: the movie.
Commander Exogram: Oh no! renegade Zentreadi are attacking!
Hibiki: Hey look I can fly a valkerie even though I'm a reporter!
*battle ensues*
Hibiki: Hey, look a micron zentreadi, let's take her home.
Ishtar: I am a Marduk and I like to sing.
Hibiki:Maybe your singing can save the Earth! (because the crappy Earth forces sure can't!)
Lord Ingues: Destroy them!!!
*awesomely climactic battle ensues*
Ishtar: *sings*
Marduk: We should all be friends!

THE END
A tribute to one of the greatest anime movies of all time.

[Cap'n Nick]

LOL, hate doing that to such a good anime! It seems so wrong!

It's okay. The good ones can take it.

While I'm here, I'll do I'm Gonna Be an Angel! I don't know if I would call it good or not, but it'll take it just the same.

Yuusuke: I spend all of my free time ogling Natsumi in her bathing suit but she still won't give me the time of day! What am I doing wrong?!

Noelle: I spend all of my free time torturing my unwilling fiance to the brink of despair but he still won't stop ogling Natsumi in her bathing suit! What am I doing wrong?!

Natsumi: I spend all of my time getting ogled in my bathing suit and I still can't get back my dead brother! What am I doing wrong?!

Gabriel: Wow, there sure is a lot of pink around here. This is the creepiest shounen series ever.

Papa: This is a shounen series?! And why do I talk like Kenshin?! I'm a Frankenstein's monster that I am!

Gabriel: You mean you didn't know? What a moron.

Papa: Why you little! *strangle choke maim de gojaru*

Noelle: Help! I've been kidnapped by cute and incompetent monsters!

Ruka: Here. Use this cute and incompetent monster-bashing equipment I made by sawing the same length of three foot pipe over and over again.

Yuusuke: Why do I have to save her? I'm her unwilling fiance, remember?

Ruka: Oh come on, like you two won't end up together by the end of this kind of anime.

Yuusuke: True. Eat that monsters! *bashes monsters, incompetently*

Monsters: OUR HEAD ASPLODED! *flies off* *SPLAT!*

Yuusuke: Hey, the monster ran into something. What's this?

Grandma: *pokes with cane* It looks like...a plot.

Everyone: *looks up at plot, which is now towering over them like the monolith from 2001* oooooooh...

[Ren_sama]

Inuyasha
Kagome: Inuyasha!

Inuyasha: kagome!

Kikyou: Inuyasha!

Miroku: Sango! *insert his perverted habit*

Sango: ...*slaps Miroku*

*Naraku attacks*

Inuyasha: Kagome! *swings sword wildly and magically performs a double-super-duper-so-dang-cool slash attack* Victory!!! I killed Naraku!

Naraku: No you didn't! Haha! I'm invincible! I shall live forever! And you can't stop me!

Inuyasha: Why not!?

Naraku: Because we've been discontinued. Not enough funds or something. Either way, the series is done, and I'm still alive! *evil laugh*

THE EN--*puff of smoke**Sesshoumaru pops up out of nowhere*

Sesshoumaru: ...*stare*

*fangirls scream and faint*

THE END.

[Saint Kevin]

Great rendition of Cowboy Bebop Ash. Short and sweet...like this should be (I could swear I remember something about 20 words or less). It's ok, it should be at least 100 words max, otherwise it is just way too hard.

Also, nice one Shoo. I can't even remember all the character's names from Azumanga Daioh, but you pretty much summed it up. Now that I think about it, it's funny how the same jokes appeared over and over...
Good series though.

Keep them coming guys. They're great. I'd do another now but I have to go.

[Joshua Christopher]

TRIGUN

Vash: LOVE & PEACE!
Knives: DEATH!
Meryl: ...Vash sucks.
Millie: Yay! Fun!
Vash: Doughnuts!
Knives: Dough..death?!
Legato: Ya gotta have blue hair.
Vash *Shoots someone*
Vash: Oh no!
Meryl: OH NO!
Millie: OH NO!
Koolaid Knives: OH YEEAAAAH!

[Arnobius]

Maison Ikkoku
Godai: I love Kyoko.
Kyoko: Hmm, Maybe Godai's not so bad.
Kozue: Hi! Is Godai here?
Godai: GAACK!
Kyoko: Godai is a jerk!
Godai: No, wait!
Yotsuya: A perfect handprint on your face.
Godai: I've got to do someting to get back in her good side. Hmm, better get a temp job.
Kyoko: Where's Godai?
Godai: Ha! I've just earned enough money to get Kyoko the perfect gift.
Akemi: Wow, money. Time to start drinking.
Godai: NOOO
Ichinose, Yotsuya and Akemi: Wa ha ha ha drink up.
Godai: What else can go wrong?
Mitaka: Hello Kyoko, let's go somewhere fancy and expensive
Godai: I had to ask... Well, at least I hit bottom now.
Soichiro san: Woof!
Godai: Aggh!
Kyoko: Mitaka is a jerk! Maybe I'll try Godai ag... GODAI? WHy are you in a compromising position with Kozue?
Godai: Manager wait! It's all a misunderstanding!
Kyoko: SMACK!
Yotsuya: It matches the other hand print.

[Arnobius]

This is something I wrote a few years ago after watching the first three volumes of Gundam Wing and comparing it to Excel Saga. I call it...

ACROZ

Watching Lady Une and Trieze in action with their full incompetence, one is made to think of that other farcical anime about a secret society: Excel Saga. I mean, it’s so obvious I wonder why I didn’t notice it before. Maybe the series would have been better if it had been directed by Shinichi Watanabe:
Trieze: The Earth Alliance is Corrupt.
Une: Heil Trieze!
Trieze: Because the alliance is corrupt, the colonies are able to destroy the military power and…
Une: Yay! Heil Trieze! Une will destroy the evil colonies. Yay! Yay! (Dances around while Trieze shakes his head)
* * *
(Later)
Trieze: Well, Une, how did your mission to destroy the Gundams go?
Une: (Large sweat drop). I’m sorry Lord Trieze! Une was unable to destroy the Gundams. Une tried to blow up the base with missiles and assassinate Relena with Gundams. The bullets went boom, boom, and boom and blew up the school (but not Relena), but Une could not kill them. Une feels so bad that she would like to fall into a great big hole!
Trieze: Then Fall! (Pulls a giant cord). Never mind! You need to learn more about ACROZ.
Une: I’m falling! HEIL TRIEZE! (Splash). AHH! Is that a shark…?
Trieze: I changed my mind about the mission anyway.

[AngelSakura]

<<TRIGUN

Vash: LOVE & PEACE!
Knives: DEATH!
Meryl: ...Vash sucks.
Millie: Yay! Fun!
Vash: Doughnuts!
Knives: Dough..death?!
Legato: Ya gotta have blue hair.
Vash *Shoots someone*
Vash: Oh no!
Meryl: OH NO!
Millie: OH NO!
Koolaid Knives: OH YEEAAAAH>>
You seem to have forgotten someone.

WOLF'S RAIN
[spoiler=Wolf's Rain]Kiba: Angst. Paradise.
Hige: Hi! I don't wanna go to Paradise but I'll come anyway.
Tsume: You people annoy me. The world annoys me. Check out my LEATHER PANTS!
Toboe: Can't we all get along? Can't I find a shirt that covers my belly button?
Tsume: I don't like you, kid. Which means I secretly do.
Cheza: This one is important to the plot.
Hubb: *sob* I love Cher. Also, I will get progressively scruffier throughout the series.
Cher: I don't love Hubb anymore, for some reason, but later I will. In the meantime, I'll be really mean to him and get kidnapped by this hot Noble.
Darcia: *kidnaps Cher* Why did I do that, anyway?
Quent: Whatever. Just let me kill the wolves, even though they're innocent and I know it.
Blue: Wake up, Quent! I'm still totally devoted to you!
Hamina: *dead*
Jagara: I love you, Darcia! Die!
Wolves: *wander through some filler*
Owl: Does anyone else find me really irritating?
*everthing comes to a head and stuff explodes*
*everyone ends up in the Noble's city*
Everybody: *lost*
Hige: Hey, guess what, guys! I'm a traitor, but maybe I'm not!
*another big fight*
Jagara: I still love you! *dies*
Darcia: Here, Kiba, take this weird round thing. It kinda looks like the one in Spirted Away.
Kiba: Cool. Let's go, guys.
*everyone wanders around and eventually meets up*
Hubb + Cher: *fall in love again* Hey, let's have vague conversations about stuff that's never gonna happen at the most inconvienient moments!
All The Humans and Toboe: *die melodramtically*
Cheza: This one is starting to get annoying. Let's go climb that mountain.
Wolves: Okey dokey.
Darcia: I'm insane now. *insert Book of the Moon quote*
Hige + Tsume + Blue: *get killed*
Kiba: *fights Darcia*
Darcia: *crunches Cheza*
Cheza: KIBA! OWIE!
Kiba: *kills Darcia and goes over to Cheza* We're the last living things on Earth. *pauses* What do you wanna do?
Cheza: This one doesn't know. Dissolve, maybe? *dissolves*
Kiba: Angst. Again.
World: *ends* Or do I?[/spoiler]

[Joshua Christopher]

<<TRIGUN

Vash: LOVE & PEACE!
Knives: DEATH!
Meryl: ...Vash sucks.
Millie: Yay! Fun!
Vash: Doughnuts!
Knives: Dough..death?!
Legato: Ya gotta have blue hair.
Vash *Shoots someone*
Vash: Oh no!
Meryl: OH NO!
Millie: OH NO!
Koolaid Knives: OH YEEAAAAH>>
You seem to have forgotten someone.

Vash: LOVE & PEACE!
Knives: DEATH!
Meryl: ...Vash sucks.
Wolfwood: I advocate smoking!
Millie: Yay! Fun!
Vash: Doughnuts!
Knives: Dough..death?!
Legato: Ya gotta have blue hair.
Vash *Shoots someone*
Vash: Oh no!
Meryl: OH NO!
Millie: OH NO!
Koolaid Knives: OH YEEAAAAH

[pyro_moogle]

I know this anime has already been done, but I just wanna do it.

Witch Hunter Robin

Random Villian: I am bad!
*Robin catches villian on fire*
Amon... I hate everyone
The End

Just to let you know I love WHR

[Ren_sama]

This is something I wrote a few years ago after watching the first three volumes of Gundam Wing and comparing it to Excel Saga. I call it...

ACROZ

Watching Lady Une and Trieze in action with their full incompetence, one is made to think of that other farcical anime about a secret society: Excel Saga. I mean, it’s so obvious I wonder why I didn’t notice it before. Maybe the series would have been better if it had been directed by Shinichi Watanabe:
Trieze: The Earth Alliance is Corrupt.
Une: Heil Trieze!
Trieze: Because the alliance is corrupt, the colonies are able to destroy the military power and…
Une: Yay! Heil Trieze! Une will destroy the evil colonies. Yay! Yay! (Dances around while Trieze shakes his head)
* * *
(Later)
Trieze: Well, Une, how did your mission to destroy the Gundams go?
Une: (Large sweat drop). I’m sorry Lord Trieze! Une was unable to destroy the Gundams. Une tried to blow up the base with missiles and assassinate Relena with Gundams. The bullets went boom, boom, and boom and blew up the school (but not Relena), but Une could not kill them. Une feels so bad that she would like to fall into a great big hole!
Trieze: Then Fall! (Pulls a giant cord). Never mind! You need to learn more about ACROZ.
Une: I’m falling! HEIL TRIEZE! (Splash). AHH! Is that a shark…?
Trieze: I changed my mind about the mission anyway.

ROTFL! That's awesome! Except Lord Ilpalazzo is so much bishie-er than Treize. XD

TRIGUN

Vash: LOVE & PEACE!
Knives: DEATH!
Meryl: ...Vash sucks.
Millie: Yay! Fun!
Vash: Doughnuts!
Knives: Dough..death?!
Legato: Ya gotta have blue hair.
Vash *Shoots someone*
Vash: Oh no!
Meryl: OH NO!
Millie: OH NO!
Koolaid Knives: OH YEEAAAAH!

LMAO!!! Koolaid Knives...OMG LOL!!!!

[Cap'n Nick]

Vash: LOVE & PEACE!
Knives: DEATH!
Meryl: ...Vash sucks.
Wolfwood: I advocate smoking!
Millie: Yay! Fun!
Vash: Doughnuts!
Knives: Dough..death?!
Legato: Ya gotta have blue hair.
Vash *Shoots someone*
Vash: Oh no!
Meryl: OH NO!
Millie: OH NO!
Koolaid Knives: OH YEEAAAAH

Can't...stop...laughing...going...to die! You win at the internet.

Cheza: This one is important to the plot.

This one cannot stop laughing. LEATHER PANTS!

Just to let you know I love WHR

No hate implied, no hate inferred. I don't think most of the people here hate the anime they're parodying (unless they say so). The ones I've been doing are actually my all-time favorites.

Great rendition of Cowboy Bebop Ash. Short and sweet...like this should be (I could swear I remember something about 20 words or less). It's ok, it should be at least 100 words max, otherwise it is just way too hard.

You're right, it does say that! To help get my average word count back down, I will now do Cat Soup in ZERO WORDS!

CAT SOUP:

[Joshua Christopher]

Okay, next up...

SUPER MILK-CHAN!

Tetsuko: Milk, I made [insert food]
Milk: You dumb[bleep]!
*phone rings*
Milk: Hello, this is [insert name]. Just kidding.
President: Milk! This is the president! [blah blah blah]
Milk: [blah blah blah]
President: [blah blah blah]
Milk: [blah blah blah]
President: [blah blah blah]
*They go off to see Dr. Eyepatch*
[Insert strange live action scene]

..And that is every single episode of Super Milk Chan.

COWBOY BEBOP
Spike: I'm hungry.
Jet: Go catch this guy.
Spike: I'm tired.
Faye: I lost all my money gambling.
Ein: Antidisestablishmentarianism, but not until the hypothesis is completed regarding...
Ed: WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
[Insert kung fu]
Spike: We lost all of our money. I'm hungry.

[Maledicte]

Antidisestablishmentarianism!!!! I love that word!!!

[AngelSakura]

<<Vash: LOVE & PEACE!
Knives: DEATH!
Meryl: ...Vash sucks.
Wolfwood: I advocate smoking!
Millie: Yay! Fun!
Vash: Doughnuts!
Knives: Dough..death?!
Legato: Ya gotta have blue hair.
Vash *Shoots someone*
Vash: Oh no!
Meryl: OH NO!
Millie: OH NO!
Koolaid Knives: OH YEEAAAAH>>
Well, at least he's in it now.

<<This one cannot stop laughing. LEATHER PANTS!>>
I couldn't help it. Those pants crack me up. ^^

[Saint Kevin]

Spoilerific Wolf's Rain AS. Although, it wouldn't be complete without the ending (so much for watching the rest of the series). Nice Wolfwood cameo Impacto...very nice.

[Ingemar]

I had a good one lined up for Love Hina, but CAA decided to die on me.

This should be a blend of the anime and manga--

Keitarou: Gotta go to Todai, gotta go to Todai! Narusegawa, help me!
Naru: PERVERT! *massive punch*
M/Kitsune: Do your job, you lazy perverted manager *does something mischievous*
Shinobu: Oh, Urashima-sempai! *faints* Dinner's ready!
Kaolla Su: *on some kind of mechanical contraption* Oh boy, dinner! Is pervert tasty?
Motoko: I'LL KILL YOU URASHIMA! *sword technique* (Oh, I really love him so).
Shirai and Haitani: You suck Keitarou! Boy do we need girlfriends.
Old men: We sit around all day in our pyjamas talking about obscure topics.
Mutsumi: *giggle* *faint*
Haruka: Meh. *smokes*

[Angel37]

Neon Genesis Evangelion
Shinji: Life sucks. I hate everything.
*Angel shows up, destroys city*
Shinji: I'm not gonna fight it!
Mitsuko(i think that's her name?): SHINJI YOU'RE A WIMP! FIGHT!
Shinji: Ok *fights* I still hate everything.
*Angel shows up, destroys city*
Shinji: I'm not gonna fight it again!
Asuka: SHINJI! YOU'RE A WIMP! FIGHT!
Shinji: Ok *fights* I still hate everything.
*Angel shows up, destroys city*
Shinji: I am so not fighting it...
Rei: .......
Shinji: Ok maybe I will because Rei's hot. *fights* I still hate everything.

[AngelSakura]

<<Spoilerific Wolf's Rain AS.>>
I deeply apologize, my dear Saint Kevin.

<<Mitsuko(i think that's her name?):>>
Do you mean Misato?

[meboeck]

Full metal Alchemist

Random Villain: Hahaha! I will do something aweful to this village!
Edward: Not while I'm around!
Alfonse: Don't do it Ed!
*fighting ensues*
RV: by the way, Iknow something about the Philosipher's Stone.
*fighting stops*
Ed: Tell me!
RV: Why should I?
*fighting resumes*
Ed: *turns something into a spear and stops the RV*
RV: Fine, I'll tell you about the Stone. But we'll meet again.

Azumanga Daioh

*complete and utter randomness ensues*

The End

[Arnobius]

Gantz in a nutshell
Hey, we died and now we're in a room with a bunch of dead people, a giant Magic 8 ball and some weapons.

wham kablam splat arrgh

Now we're even more dead...