No soldier on duty entangles himself in the affairs of life, that he may please him who enrolled him as a soldier. Also, if anyone competes in athletics, he isn’t crowned unless he has competed by the rules. (2 Timothy 2:4, 5 WEB)
This message is convicting. I've obsessed over grades and therefore disobeyed God here. And I've gotten so lazy that the only reason I read the Bible is because it's just something I have to do as a Christian. GOTTA DO THAT EXCERCISE!
I also struggle with legalism. With all the commands of the Bible (belief, confession of Jesus as Lord, obedience?) I feel like I can't just trust God for my salvation. I know this contradicts Titus 3:5 (but so does Romans 10:9 with the confession unto salvation thing) but I can't let go of it, partly from fear and not knowing anything else... how I'd become... Yup I need prayer.
I also feel that as a Christian, I've gotten a cult like mentality and have almost called our faith a cult a few times. Thing is I've done research on cults because my friend is in one (and I was curious) and I've noticed a lot of aspects of cults match up with either something in the Bible or something in my mentality. However I must push these away and move forward, stay in Christianity, keep up my salvation... Yup I'm a mess. In need of prayer and advice. BAD. God bless...