Mature prayer topics (older or mature members only, please)

[Sheenar]

Um, I'm posting here because of the sensitive nature of this prayer request.

I've had a pretty bad resurgence of my mental illnesses in the past month --it's been building for a while, though. I have an anxiety disorder and depression.

I've been prayerless, not in the word --not sure what to say when I try to pray --just feeling really despondent and tired of fighting.

I have a past of self-harm and it has started again this month after nearly 6 years. I have scratched myself with my nails twice this month --both times after spats with my roommate (first was about my cat getting shut in her room and tearing up the carpet, the second was about me picking up her dog's food so my cat wouldn't eat it --she got upset with me about both.)

I've been without a counselor for months (have gone through 2 this year --both moved away) and am on the waiting list for one. So I don't have anyone to talk to.

I feel so ill-equipped to deal with the normal stresses of life and interactions with people --things come out of my mouth wrong/are taken the wrong way. I don't feel that I'm fit to be around people sometimes because of this --because people get upset because they take something I say in a way I did not mean/intend and then an argument/heated discussion happens. Then I cry. Then they get more upset because I cry.

I'm so stressed about many things (school things, things I need to do but am struggling with, etc.) --and the neighbor situation caused a pretty significant rise in my anxiety levels. I don't know sufficient coping skills to handle all of what life is throwing at me right now.

I've been having suicidal thoughts off and on --but have been able to redirect my thoughts each time before they continue very long in that direction. I am concerned about what to do if the problem worsens --apparently, my Medicaid claims to pay for mental health services, but won't cover a trip to the ER should one be suicidal (learned that in early February when I went for that reason and now have a collection agency after me.)

I seriously need some prayer. Something has got to change soon. I feel like my mind is slipping away slowly --I can't withstand my current stress levels for much longer.

[Darth_Kirby]

Will pray for you Sheenar, but I also want to give you a verse for encouragement and a few words.

I've been at a loss plenty of times about my situations. Even though it's talking about tongues, this verse, for me, is also talking about expressive prayer - prayer that doesn't always ask something of God, but merely expresses how you feel.

Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

David in the Pslams often prayed with no particular request in mind aside from telling God how he felt - about his frustrations, his joys, his fears, everything. While it's great to have a human counselor God is also our counselor. Vent to him. lol He'll listen. And if you don't know what to pray for, but want to pray for something, ask God to pray through you with his Holy Spirit.

As a person who has dealt with suicidal thoughts myself in the past, the one thing I have found to be most destructive to my mental health is the 'tape recorder effect' as I've named it. It's when I repeat a certain, or several, saddening or angering situations over and over again in my mind working me up to be either bitter or depressed. I have no idea if this is what you're experiencing or doing, but if you do this, then I want to say something. You need to stop the tape recorder. It's done... over with. It can only hurt you as much as you let it now. Vent and bring it to God, and if it involves someone wronging you, ask God to give you the closure you need to forgive them.

You are loved. Don't forget that. Love yourself as God loves you.

lol I've sort of ranted. But I hope I've encouraged/helped you.

[satsuma]

Hi, I need prayer. I'm someone who is struggling with M. I can't even type it fully, because it's so disgusting. But I have been struggling with this for years now and I just want it to stop. I keep turning to stories on the internet. I am so embarrassed, and I just need prayer please. It is especially a difficult time because it happens more when I am stressed. If someone could pray for me or provide some guidance, I need it.

[Okami]

So I'm not officially back yet (see my "Leaving CAA for a bit...?" post) but, I am so happy and so excited and I got a restless night's sleep of four hours proving so, all to say - today marks one year abstinent!!!

Also - first post from my new phone.

[Sheenar]

[quote="Okami (post: 1498699)"]So I'm not officially back yet (see my "Leaving CAA for a bit...?" post) but, I am so happy and so excited and I got a restless night's sleep of four hours proving so, all to say - today marks one year abstinent!!!

Also - first post from my new phone. ]

Yay! Congratulations!

[Sheenar]

I have a new prayer request in this area. It's related to my last post about depressive episodes.

I think I may have figured out why I've had a really increased struggle against depressive episodes and anxiety in the past year and a half. I started having increased and longer depressive episodes following my Dec. 2009 hospitalizations (spinal fluid leak after a tap and then again a week later for a stroke-like episode --related to my migraine disorder.)

I had been on birth control up until then because of a hormonal imbalance --bad acne, painful and heavy periods, facial hair. I stopped taking it after the last hospitalization because the stroke-like episode scared me so badly, even though my neurologist told me that I could (and should) keep taking it because the SLEs (I still have them) are related to my migraine disorder and taking the bc would not be harmful. But I was still freaked out and stopped taking them.

So, in the year and a half since then, I've had increasing and more severe depressive episodes and bouts of anxiety. I really do think the hormonal imbalance has something to do with it --I'm having bad pain during periods again, facial hair, and a resurgence of my acne again.

I have an appt. with my doctor on Wed. for a variety of things and will talk to her about this and see what she thinks.

I am just really nervous and afraid --because going back on the bc pills means having to get a female exam. This is something very hard for me to handle, so I haven't had one since the last time I went on the hormone pills. And it hurt very bad. So I'm really scared.

[Okami]

Yay! Congratulations!

Thank you dear! <3

Do know that I've been praying for you in regards to your recent posts here. I've been meaning to PM you to discuss, but life's been getting in the way...so that being said, if you want to PM me, my inbox is open any time. I'm all ears for support!

[Atria35]

I am just really nervous and afraid --because going back on the bc pills means having to get a female exam. This is something very hard for me to handle, so I haven't had one since the last time I went on the hormone pills. And it hurt very bad. So I'm really scared.

I'm praying for you. I'm surprised to hear that you have to have an exam to go on the Pill- I'm on it, myself, and the doctor informed me that I could have an ultrasound exam instead because I wasn't sexually active. Would it be possible to ask your doctor about this?

[Kerusso]

If it's any help, Masquerade, I struggle with the same thing.

[Sheenar]

I'm praying for you. I'm surprised to hear that you have to have an exam to go on the Pill- I'm on it, myself, and the doctor informed me that I could have an ultrasound exam instead because I wasn't sexually active. Would it be possible to ask your doctor about this?

I think that is the policy of the university student health center which is the dr. I had at the time. Now I go to a family practice dr., so it may be different. Wouldn't hurt to ask, anyway.

Okami, I understand about life getting in the way. I myself haven't been great at keeping in contact with others. I'll shoot you a PM sometime in the next couple of days.

[crazybeebo47]

well even though im a guy i understand how embearissing a physical can be and i also understand how nervous you are about youre depression and anxiety. i am also under the stress of depression and anxiety. so i understand why youre nervous of it flaring up so all ican say now is i hope you feel better good luck and i have you in my prayers

[Makachop^^128]

Theres something that I'm embarrassed to talk about on here...but I just realized (from the internet ) could be a health condition, I thought it was something maybe all teenagers do but I don't know :/ Its really too embarrassing for me to say right now, I can't control it, but on a trip I went on recently it kept happening and it keeps happening more and more, and I'm getting more worried, I know I'm being super vague but I'd like prayer >.<

[Atria35]

Theres something that I'm embarrassed to talk about on here...but I just realized (from the internet ) could be a health condition, I thought it was something maybe all teenagers do but I don't know :/ Its really too embarrassing for me to say right now, I can't control it, but on a trip I went on recently it kept happening and it keeps happening more and more, and I'm getting more worried, I know I'm being super vague but I'd like prayer >.<

Praying. Even if you're embarassed to talk about it on here (perfectly understandable), if it's possibly a health condition and somewhat uncontrolable, talk to your doctor ASAP. Especially if it's excalating- you should never play around with your health, and the longer it goes on, the worse it can be to treat.

[Makachop^^128]

Praying. Even if you're embarassed to talk about it on here (perfectly understandable), if it's possibly a health condition and somewhat uncontrolable, talk to your doctor ASAP. Especially if it's excalating- you should never play around with your health, and the longer it goes on, the worse it can be to treat.

Yea I think I might, it just sounds like such a stupid thing to deal with and embarrassing O_O it almost sounds like a joke, but its starting to get really bad >.<

[Sheenar]

Thankfully, all I had to do to get back on the pills was pee in a cup...huge thing off my shoulders, there.

[Atria35]

Yea I think I might, it just sounds like such a stupid thing to deal with and embarrassing O_O it almost sounds like a joke, but its starting to get really bad >.<

Even if it seems like a joke, if it's affecting your health and your lifestyle, then it's time to take it to a doctor. Praying it's easily fixed!

Thankfully, all I had to do to get back on the pills was pee in a cup...huge thing off my shoulders, there.

Wooo! Glad to hear that it was that easy.

[Psycho Molos]

well even though im a guy i understand how embearissing a physical can be and i also understand how nervous you are about youre depression and anxiety. i am also under the stress of depression and anxiety. so i understand why youre nervous of it flaring up so all ican say now is i hope you feel better good luck and i have you in my prayers

I agree here. I only had one physical and felt weird having my guy doc mess around the..."nether regions" but then I'd feel just as awkward if it were a lady doc too

[Juliannesan]

I think I may have misspoken. I don't feel like she was purposely trying to hurt me. In other words, I'm sure she wasn't sitting there going "I'm going to make this guy feel miserable!" or anything. She was probably just lonely like I was and wanted some fun, and I was more than glad to provide it. But like I said, now that she's moved in with her girlfriend, I don't think I'm really needed anymore. She's not doing it to hurt me, I don't think she realized how lonely and desperate for female attention I am...which isn't her fault, I could have told her at any time. So if anything it's my fault.

So I know this was posted awhile ago, but I just really have the urge to chime in.

I know how you feel/felt to an extent. I have been there, but on the opposite side of the spectrum.

I used to be in anime roleplay chats on AOL. [Lol, I know] And afterwards somehow there would always be ONE guy that I would get attached to and roleplay separately with. And I actually liked each guy I roleplayed with, and I'd let my feelings get into it and I would really feel attached and loved by them, because like you... No guys (aside from the internet) showed me any attention, and I just felt more loved and I ended up getting caught once latelate one night by my dad. I signed off the internet and everything really fast, but he ended up signing back on and to my embarrassment the guy I was chatting with continued our inappropriate roleplay as if nothing had happened, and I was banned from the internet for months...

It was really tough, I still snuck on every now and then, but being away and forced to leave those people behind helped me realize that I didn't need those guys to make me feel loved, I needed to turn back to Christ and find my fullness in Him... It is so possible to find your complete joy in Christ, but it takes sacrificing, a lot of sacrificing... And that's what turns many people off.

But it is so worth it. And I can't really explain it beyond that.

And since then, even though finding "the one" wasn't exactly necessary for me to feel loved, God still lead me to the one He had for me. And we're about to celebrate our one year of marriage.

So it takes time, and sacrifice to learn that you're loved and being taken care of by the only one who could love you entirely unconditionally. He knows your needs and desires. And I know you've probably heard this all before, but it doesn't make it any less true. Seek Him consistently and you will find true joy and peace and love.

That doesn't mean at ALL that it will be easy, but the things in this life worth fighting for and living for tend to be the hardest to gain. But you'll see after all that, that it was so worth it. Relationships are like that, and a relationship with God is no exception. It takes time, patience and sacrifice.

I'm praying for you, Nate. And I hope this at least makes a little sense to you. = )

[bkilbour]

So... when I got back, I went on leave for two weeks. I decided to spend that little vacation with my mom, brother, half-brother, and half-sister.
It was a screaming match every day with my mom, who has become the most manipulative figure in my life. She'll play one kid against the other, so she'll win arguments. She'll beg for help with gas and food, but then act like I don't do anything for her. Any schedule change, and she starts screaming - she was jumping up and down like a child about it just before I went on deployment in April. The only way to satisfy her is by breaking the bank and spoiling the crap out of her and my siblings. I'm friggin' broke now because of it.
I know it's not a good excuse, but it's become a real trigger for me when it comes to the purity battle. It didn't help that my ex got engaged, but that and my family sometimes act as a trigger for that struggle. With a couple weeks of it pent up, I came an inch away from going out and getting a hooker for the night. Got no excuse in these things, and I praise God for His patience, and that I'm still a virgin; I need prayer on all this before I snap. Either I would do something stupid where she lives and hurt someone, or I would end up defiling myself (a worse hypocrisy for a guy who has Proverbs 5 and 7 tattooed on him...)

Please pray that I can stay pure through all this!!!

[Furen]

Will be praying, I know someone (related to me) that has ADHD and ODD, that seems to be the same things (said person) does. I find if it is actually that, try to make her feel like the center of attention at all times, even if she's not, they tend to back off a little, and the less annoyed they are at one person, the less they slowly become to others (as their anger doesn't bounce around everyone)

[Atria35]

Praying! Family can be the most difficult thing we deal with in life >.>" And I've learned that sometimes, I just can't win, and it's not worth going broke over or getting angry over- I smile, nod, and then ignore whomever's asking me for something or getting upset with me or whatever drama they want to pull. Otherwise I would have snapped ages ago.

Of course, it's important to stay in contact with your siblings! I hope that you can be a good influence on them, and can help them overcome whatever awful games your mom is playing with them.

[LOLangelo]

Yo! i just wanted to post something about what i am going through at the moment...to hopefully reassure anyone who is going through something similar to me to let you know your not the only one...I have been in a relationship with a special someone for about 5 years now and we have been in a physcial relationship for all this time...and recently i have learned about fornication being a sin in gods eyes...so i have done my best to repent and walk away...but still i have failed here and there and gave into temptation...which of course makes you feel bad when you do...just becuase it feels like your failing god and letting him down...almost like im sinning on purpose...but i have learned that its just human nature...and it would be really hard to quit cold turkey after for being in a initimate relationship like that for so many years and never doing something like that again until were married...so today temptation pretty much kicked my butt...but each time i get down and pray and ask for forgiveness and each time i feel bad...but as long as i get up tommorrow and do my best to do better...i know that sooner or little im gonna triumph over this temptation and sin and bring honor and glory to gods good name and make jesus smile...sorry im rambling on and on LOL..i just wanted to post to kind of get it off my chest...and maybe help someone who is struggling with issues like this in one way or the other.


P.S. thank you very much for taking the time to read this and... if you would like to see the 2 songs ive wrote about this i would be glad to post it if anyone would like to see it. ,Angelo

[Death Whispers]

Hi LOLangelo, I kind of know what you are going through.. But in a different way... I commit fornication by viewing pornography, even though I have been happily married for at least a year now, I still view it, and I am very ashamed and embarrassed to admit it, no matter how hard I try to stop, the temptation is always there and I seem to give in to it more often than not, if you wanna talk about it, I'm here for ya

[seaglass27]

I really don't know what to say to this except that I'll pray for you. And, yes, I would love to see your two songs.

[shooraijin]

After reviewing this thread I think it would be best to make it part of the existing mature requests thread instead.

[Yuki-Anne]

Okay, so basically, I need prayer because I feel violated.

The guy didn't touch me inappropriately, but I still feel really violated. Here's how it went down:
I live in a church, and as I was exiting the church to go for my morning run this guy stopped me and asked me about the church and said he was really interested in hearing about it. I felt a little uneasy but I figured that maybe God was opening a door for witnessing. We went to the park next door because the guy said he wanted to talk.

Basically all he really wanted was to take these humiliating, objectifying pictures of my body. He kept asking and I said no, I didn't want him to take pictures of me. He said my face wouldn't be in them, which actually made me more uncomfortable. I kept telling him no, then he acted all hurt and started trying to use that to manipulate me. I let him take a picture of just my hand, but eventually, after pressuring me a bunch, and without really getting my permission, he took pictures of my body, including one picture of just my hip and thigh area. After I saw that he'd basically just taken a picture of my crotch I told him goodbye and walked away, but I felt so violated, and I feel so ashamed and stupid that I didn't end the conversation as soon as it started to make me uncomfortable.

Even though he didn't touch me and I was fully clothed I really feel like I've been sexually assaulted. Anyway, I'm really worried because he saw where I live and knows that I live alone. Please pray for my safety, and please pray that I can forgive him for using me like that and recover. As trauma goes it's mild, but right now with all of the other stuff I'm dealing with it's just too much.

[TopazRaven]

In my personal opinion that WAS sexual harrasment. You have every right to feel the way you do. I'll most definitly be keeping you in my prayers Yuki and I hope it doesn't bother you again and you feel safe soon. You're already far more forgiving then me though if that helps any, I probably would have hurt him. I have a bit of an aggresion problem sometimes....

[K. Ayato]

I'd report it to someone right away, Yuki.

[TopazRaven]

Yes, I agree with K. I feel kind of bad for forgetting to mention that now. This guy sounds very suspicous and I'm afraid he might try this on someone else.

[Atria35]

What K said. Report him so he can't manipulate anyone else like that!