Purity in dating... opinions?

[animewarrior]

And I honestly can't see any dating relationship go well off if there's not a healthy amount of physical intimacy. Sure, it can be a mutual decision that two people may decide to not get physical at all while dating, but barely anybody does that because then their own needs would be deprived. (And I am not talking about sex here).

I think that the people who commit to saving their first kiss to marriage are great... however some people say you shouldn't even hug or hold hands.....umm.... how is that romantic? I know some people won't agree with me but ..... I NEED some physical contact.... I'd feel sad if the guy I was going out with didn't even want to hold hands or hug...T_T...but for those with the willpower to stave off ANY physical contact..well if it works for you then good ahead... I know I wouldn't be able to do that. I'm just not that kind of person...heck I hug my parents every day..^^"...and yes I actually do this...sorry if it seems little-kiddish it's just who I am....XD

[Nate]

Hugging, holding, and kissing are only sexual if one gives into the temptation of such things.

Otherwise it would be weird and gross when you hugged and kissed your mom.

[Tsukuyomi]

[quote="Neurotic (post: 1232789)"]Hugging, holding, kissing, these can all be the beginnings of some unendurable trials on those with abstinent ideas

So can just sitting their staring at one another o.o There's alot of things that can be tempting. It really depends on the mindset of the two parties.

That's how I see it anyway o.o It's hard to say unless it's us in that actual situation. Some people can handle hugging and kissing and some can't. Nothing wrong with that at all ^^ It just depends on those persons in the relationship

[animewarrior]

Otherwise it would be weird and gross when you hugged and kissed your mom.

XDDD Nice one Nate.

[Cognitive Gear]

Something helpful I heard someone say once:

"If "sex" is part of the description of the action, it's not something you should be doing outside of marriage."

I think this seems like a pretty decent guide. Now, certainly you could be convicted by actions that don't fall under this category, but it's seems to be a good way to gauge the absolute upper limit that applies to everyone.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

"If "sex" is part of the description of the action, it's not something you should be doing outside of marriage."

That's terrible English there.

[RobinSena]

"If "sex" is part of the description of the action, it's not something you should be doing outside of marriage."

What if it's "asexual"? XP

[Etoh*the*Greato]

ahh... this almost worse then my Sex-ED class....however there the people are like "have safe sex" EXCUSE ME BUT WHEN IS SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE "SAFE"!!! >,< Just shows you how sad our world has become...

Morally safe or health safe? If you're wearing protection against pregnancies and STDs, it's not 100% but it's "safer" than not. Being married doesn't protect you from that stuff. Morality isn't an issue with "safe" sex.

[animewarrior]

[quote="Etoh*the*Greato (post: 1236251)"]Morally safe or health safe? If you're wearing protection against pregnancies and STDs, it's not 100%]

I meant the morally safe bit. However, you also run the risk of catching STDs if your "partner" has had partners before you and all that. I just get irritated when people don't think you should wait for marriage for sex.. ermm.. yeah anyways hope that cleared up your confusion...>,<.

[Nate]

However, you also run the risk of catching STDs if your "partener" has had parteners before you and all that.

You can run the risk of catching STDs even if your partner is a virgin. STDs are only called sexually transmitted because that's their primary method of being transmitted. You can catch STDs through other methods, including a guy I know who has AIDS from a blood transfusion he got as a kid.

While I agree with you that sex is best reserved for marriage, it has no bearing on how safe it is. You can have safe sex outside of marriage, and you can have unsafe sex inside of marriage.

[Mithrandir]

I'm afraid I'm going to totally disagree with you there, Nate. The "no bearing" is more than a little misleading. Even a 1/100000 % chance is STILL a chance. And most "safe" sex has more than that. I wouldn't post this, but I seem to recall you taking exceptions to absolutes in the past.

[animewarrior]

You can run the risk of catching STDs even if your partner is a virgin. STDs are only called sexually transmitted because that's their primary method of being transmitted. You can catch STDs through other methods, including a guy I know who has AIDS from a blood transfusion he got as a kid.

I know people can get STDs through other methods, however you can NOT get anything from door handles or toilet seats.. I know this for sure because we are going through sex-ED class right now. I just meant that you have a WAY higher risk of getting STDs if you have sex before marriage.

While I agree with you that sex is best reserved for marriage, it has no bearing on how safe it is. You can have safe sex outside of marriage, and you can have unsafe sex inside of marriage.

I guess you mean physically safe....and how exactly can sex be unsafe in marriage if both participants have been abstinent from sex before they were married? I guess you could have an unplanned pregnacy however how is that "unsafe"?

[Nate]

however you can NOT get anything from door handles or toilet seats..

Actually you can get lice from a toilet seat (though that isn't really a disease XD), although that's extremely unlikely due to the fact that lice don't live long away from a human host (still possible though). But yeah, you can't get any STDs from toilet seats or door handles (you can get some other nasty viruses from those things though).

and how exactly can sex be unsafe in marriage if both participants have been abstinent from sex before they were married?

The example I gave earlier with my friend who has AIDS from a blood transfusion. Even if they both remained abstinent before their marriage it would be near-impossible for them to have safe sex.

I wouldn't call the possibility of pregnancy unsafe, but either way there are ways to ensure that pregnancy doesn't happen (without using pills).

I seem to recall you taking exceptions to absolutes in the past.

Very true. XD I tried my hardest to avoid absolutes, but I have failed! "Safe" sex is a misnomer anyway, it should be called "safer sex." Some protection is better than no protection at all, but you're right in that the only way to remain almost completely safe is by remaining abstinent. Which I think we can all agree on. XD

[Etoh*the*Greato]

I know people can get STDs through other methods, however you can NOT get anything from door handles or toilet seats.. I know this for sure because we are going through sex-ED class right now. I just meant that you have a WAY higher risk of getting STDs if you have sex before marriage.

I guess you mean physically safe....and how exactly can sex be unsafe in marriage if both participants have been abstinent from sex before they were married? I guess you could have an unplanned pregnacy however how is that "unsafe"?

This has come up before. There was a "are you having sex with our daughter" scare with my Fiancees parents. See, Jen went to give blood and when she did she was rejected because of the possibility she had a type of hepatitis - a very specific type that can only be transmitted a handful of ways. This of course led to "what kind of things are you doing when you are alone" and some INCREDIBLY uncomfortable conversations. If you're worried, don't worry. Turns out her blood is one of those rare flukes that randomly shows signs of a disease that isn't actually there. But is there another way she could have gotten it?

Most certainly.

You see, Jen's mother is a nurse and has been since before Jen was born. Nurses are checked more rigorously for hepatitis now since you can get it by accidental contact in the wrong places by a bleeding patient who has it, but when Jen's mom started it wasn't quite so rigorous. It would have been inside the realm of reason for her mother to contract it, pass it on to Jen, who would then pass it on to me upon marriage and we would have never known.

Now, I know what you're saying. "Why Etoh, you hulking example of virile manliness (Ok, well, maybe you're not thinking that) this seems so foolishly outlandishly unlikely!" It's actually a lot more likely than you think. The scenario has played out thus several times before, and though the system is tighter now, every now and then you still have a slip-through.

Oh, and another slip-through. I'm a blood transfusionist. I've had more pints of blood stocked in my body than I've probably even produced naturally in my life, so though the system is rigorous there too, the occasional lapse in math tells me that someday given enough transfusions I might get that one batch that missed the test.

[Nate]

Also let's not forget the incident where a dentist with AIDS ended up giving the virus to his patients. It's rare, but it happens.

I understand what your fiancee went through though. In boot camp we had to get a blood test, and when the results came back it said I tested positive for chlamydia. XD That wasn't fun, especially since the follow-up involved me having to answer a bunch of questions from a very attractive nurse. I felt like Dante off the Clerks cartoon.

"I'm pretty sure I don't have chlamydia."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Uh...is there any way to get it other than sex?"
"Not really."
"Then...I'm pretty sure I don't have chlamydia. >.>;;"

[Etoh*the*Greato]

[quote="Nate (post: 1236680)"]Also let's not forget the incident where a dentist with AIDS ended up giving the virus to his patients. It's rare, but it happens.

I understand what your fiancee went through though. In boot camp we had to get a blood test, and when the results came back it said I tested positive for chlamydia. XD That wasn't fun, especially since the follow-up involved me having to answer a bunch of questions from a very attractive nurse. I felt like Dante off the Clerks cartoon.

"I'm pretty sure I don't have chlamydia."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Uh...is there any way to get it other than sex?"
"Not really."
"Then...I'm pretty sure I don't have chlamydia. >.>]
And it's always always always the attractive nurse they get to ask the questions. I feel your pain, man.