Releasing
95 posts •
Page 3 of 4 •
^^ Good. That means I'm doing this writing thing correct.
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
Alright y'all! With this chapter, it's five more.
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
[font=Arial]~~~ “Darius Windfold?â€
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
Time for the Saga to continue! Four more chapters. And thank you all so much reading and enjoying Releasing.
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
~~~ Liam comes back into the lifeless streets of Hadley’s world. The color is still drained and all the demons are still immobile. Liam walks down an alleyway, hoping Hadley will come to him since he’d be lost other wise.
~~~ As Liam wanders aimlessly down the alleyways of the city, he takes notice that the head he’s carrying still bleeds. He looks behind him and sees a steady trail of blood. “I wonder how-“ Liam begins to say when a throwing dart smacks into his head point first.
~~~ The dart harmlessly scratches his skin and Liam looks at the rooftops of the buildings surrounding him and sees a shadowy figure rush back to the center.
~~~ “Hold it!â€
~~~ As Liam wanders aimlessly down the alleyways of the city, he takes notice that the head he’s carrying still bleeds. He looks behind him and sees a steady trail of blood. “I wonder how-“ Liam begins to say when a throwing dart smacks into his head point first.
~~~ The dart harmlessly scratches his skin and Liam looks at the rooftops of the buildings surrounding him and sees a shadowy figure rush back to the center.
~~~ “Hold it!â€
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
hurry with the chaptersiam excited to see how this turns out will liam be turned into a resistance leader or will he turn them all in @_@ all so blindly good story *gets dizzy and falls down go boom*
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
-
Althaia - Posts: 229
- Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: is trying to calm herself
Hmmm, an interesting twist, but it begs the question, if they are currently in Hadley's world...won't Hadley know that the resistance is attempting to recruit Liam? I get the impression each demon is pretty darn aware of what goes on in their own world.
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Esoteric - Posts: 1603
- Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2004 1:12 pm
- Location: The Lost Room.
Not unless she's looking for him(Liam). The resistance blocks the tech that Hadley uses to track demons. So when Crow and Red Brow entered Liam's little frozen reality, it's like Liam isn't there.
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
[font=Arial] ~~~ “You see, Liam, the resistance was created because of the cruelty enforced upon the demons in this world,â€
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! This is good! I am so sorry for not reading in a while, but now I am all caught up. I can't wait for the next update ^_^ Good Job Kiba, I am really enjoying it!
[color="Red"][SIZE="3"]Swiftly Dissin' and never Missin'.
Yours Truly,
Sick of all the BSin'.[/SIZE][/color]
Yours Truly,
Sick of all the BSin'.[/SIZE][/color]
-
Nami - Posts: 739
- Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:26 pm
- Location: Sitting in a tree, waiting for you. *sinister grin*
*bows* Thankies very much much!
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
~~~ Inside the statue, Liam appears to be floating in outer space. He moans slightly and opens his eyes and looks around: nothing but darkness and far off stars. He holds his left hand to his forehead to think and is shocked to feel soft and spongy flesh on his head and smooth dry hair on his hand. He holds his hands in front of him.
~~~Liam’s demon body is still predominant. However, a translucent image of his human body is also there inside the black skin. He touches his right palm with his left index finger and scratches downward. His razor demon finger leaves a slight scratch on his demon skin, but a tickling feeling, like calloused skin moving across soft skin, is all he feels.
~~~[font=Arial] “How did this happen?â€
~~~Liam’s demon body is still predominant. However, a translucent image of his human body is also there inside the black skin. He touches his right palm with his left index finger and scratches downward. His razor demon finger leaves a slight scratch on his demon skin, but a tickling feeling, like calloused skin moving across soft skin, is all he feels.
~~~[font=Arial] “How did this happen?â€
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
~~~[color=black][font=Arial] Maria glares at him. “You’ve thirty seconds.â€
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
:O she totally and utterly forgot him :O
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
-
Althaia - Posts: 229
- Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: is trying to calm herself
What? No he went back in time.
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
ooh okay that makes much more sense 
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
-
Althaia - Posts: 229
- Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: is trying to calm herself
It was confusing? What was confusing!? *grabs your shoulders and shakes untill you look like a bobble-head* I need to know!
But seriously
But seriously
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
oh just the whole back in time thing seemed more of a memory loss
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
-
Althaia - Posts: 229
- Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: is trying to calm herself
Well I can't fix that. My readers will just have to use an imagination! Muahahaha!
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
Alright here it is. The final chaptar that I hope most of you have be waiting to read. If y'all hate the ending (as I'm sure most of you will) just start yelling and I'll tease you with the first chaptar of the next book.
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
~~~ Liam feels an increasing pressure all over his body when the portal closes around him. When it feels as though his eyes will burst and his skin expolode, the pressure releases him and he feels hard floor under him.
~~~He opens his eyes and looks around. He is back in the temple and Crow is no where in sight. He slowly gets up from the floor and notices another feature about him has changed. His right hand is now red and sparks are jumping along the skin of that hand. Embedded in his palm is theorichalcum.
~~~Liam walks towards the exit and crosses the threshold. The color drains in another large flash once outside.
~~~[color=black][font=Arial] “LIAM!â€
~~~He opens his eyes and looks around. He is back in the temple and Crow is no where in sight. He slowly gets up from the floor and notices another feature about him has changed. His right hand is now red and sparks are jumping along the skin of that hand. Embedded in his palm is theorichalcum.
~~~Liam walks towards the exit and crosses the threshold. The color drains in another large flash once outside.
~~~[color=black][font=Arial] “LIAM!â€
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
oooooo liam is so gonna kill validen XD
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
-
Althaia - Posts: 229
- Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: is trying to calm herself
Aw -I just noticed that you took the bird idea from my siggie, Raven. 
I'm glad you like it that much. 
I'm sorry I haven't been reading regularly, Kiba, but this ending is really cool; very dramatic, even if I haven't quite read myself up-to-date to this point.
Neat hanging ending. ^^
I'm glad you like it that much.
I'm sorry I haven't been reading regularly, Kiba, but this ending is really cool; very dramatic, even if I haven't quite read myself up-to-date to this point.
Neat hanging ending. ^^(0)>
((_\//
mm
[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times.
((_\//
mm
[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD
\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times.
-
Photosoph - Posts: 1528
- Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:32 pm
- Location: Kiwiland... fighting for mankind in the battle of human vs. sheep.
Thanks. I think I'll put up the first chapter of Becoming in a few days.
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
but now i made it into a actual raven looking thing yes please post it please *begs*
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
[color=cyan]†[size=84]smile Jesus loves you[/SIZE][/color]
procastinators unite.......................tommorrow
[color=palegreen]So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith [/color]
[color=palegreen]~When you Believe from Prince of Egypt
[/color]
-
Althaia - Posts: 229
- Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: is trying to calm herself
Okay, here is a teaser for Becoming. I have to put it in two posts btw.
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
~~~ My life seemed perfect. I had it all: great friends, a loving mother, and a job I enjoyed. I was captain of the high school soccer team and the valedictorian of my class. But my seventeenth birthday turned my world upside down. To say the least, my father was never around till that night. But I’m getting ahead of myself. My name is Dante Valcur and this is my story.
~~~The date was March 27, 2006, and two minutes away from midnight. I was sitting at my computer, saying goodbye to my friend on Yahoo Instant Messenger when my screen flashed. It’s like when you turn on the light bulb and the whole room bursts into light. Well, that’s kinda like what happened, only the light was so bright, it was like looking into the sun on a cloudless day in July. My pupils shrunk so fast, I was afraid they might close permanently (wouldn’t that be great). The light clicked off almost as fast as it clicked on, but I was still blinded.
~~~[font=Arial]I rubbed my eyes. It was now twenty seconds till midnight, and my vision finally cleared. An IM box was on my screen. I looked at the grey off-line face in my toolbar. I wasn’t surprised. IM’s sometimes popped up if you just sign off at the moment someone sends a message. But I had signed off at least half a minute ago. Then the message appeared. Whoever was talking to me was using Fire & Brimstone as their screen name. It read, “Hello, Dante.â€
~~~The date was March 27, 2006, and two minutes away from midnight. I was sitting at my computer, saying goodbye to my friend on Yahoo Instant Messenger when my screen flashed. It’s like when you turn on the light bulb and the whole room bursts into light. Well, that’s kinda like what happened, only the light was so bright, it was like looking into the sun on a cloudless day in July. My pupils shrunk so fast, I was afraid they might close permanently (wouldn’t that be great). The light clicked off almost as fast as it clicked on, but I was still blinded.
~~~[font=Arial]I rubbed my eyes. It was now twenty seconds till midnight, and my vision finally cleared. An IM box was on my screen. I looked at the grey off-line face in my toolbar. I wasn’t surprised. IM’s sometimes popped up if you just sign off at the moment someone sends a message. But I had signed off at least half a minute ago. Then the message appeared. Whoever was talking to me was using Fire & Brimstone as their screen name. It read, “Hello, Dante.â€
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
~~~ We got off the bus and bade Jo and Nick goodbye, and Mom and I walked back to our apartment. We didn’t live in a ritzy neighborhood, but the crime rate was low and so was the rent. I asked Mom once, but she wouldn’t tell me. I think it’s a little over two hundred.
~~~[font=Arial]We walked into our two bedroom apartment and kicked off our shoes. “Did you have a good time?â€
~~~[font=Arial]We walked into our two bedroom apartment and kicked off our shoes. “Did you have a good time?â€
FKA Mythmaster
Why must we be abandoned in times of need?
Do others not see when we yearn for their touch;
An insatiable hunger only they can feed.
Left alone with out their words – fallen into darkness.
Stumbling blindly without their light,
We fall and scream, knowing we've faced too much,
Knowing the only answer is flight.
Flight from the lives we once faced
And the joys and terrors others have brought.
Our time with them, a time of joy and life,
Wonder we all, was it for naught?
-
Kiba-kun - Posts: 561
- Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: At my job.
Hmm, the continuation already? I am pleased that at first glance, it's exact relation to the previous tale isn't clear...as this will allow for the mystery to unfold.
I have only one criticism at this time and that oddly enough, is the depth of the transformation description. You obviously care quite a lot about the reader knowing exactly what he looks like, perhaps too much. Honestly, if you were being 'torn apart' in agony, would you be paying such close attention?
I think most people would be screaming at the top of their lungs, writhing half-consciously on the floor until the pain was gone. And when it was over, I think he'd be in such a state of shock that he would generalize the descriptions. (Oh yeah, and the references to Beast and Jak seemed to detract from the experience.)
I don't mean to sound harsh, I'm just trying to think logically about the situation.
I have only one criticism at this time and that oddly enough, is the depth of the transformation description. You obviously care quite a lot about the reader knowing exactly what he looks like, perhaps too much. Honestly, if you were being 'torn apart' in agony, would you be paying such close attention?
I think most people would be screaming at the top of their lungs, writhing half-consciously on the floor until the pain was gone. And when it was over, I think he'd be in such a state of shock that he would generalize the descriptions. (Oh yeah, and the references to Beast and Jak seemed to detract from the experience.)
I don't mean to sound harsh, I'm just trying to think logically about the situation.
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Esoteric - Posts: 1603
- Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2004 1:12 pm
- Location: The Lost Room.
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