Heart's Blade - an Angelic Layer fanfiction

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Heart's Blade - an Angelic Layer fanfiction

Postby Magekind » Mon Oct 30, 2006 3:52 am

This is me, not finding the Do Not Discuss list. Not that I find anything questionable about Angelic Layer, only that... I'd rather be safe than sorry. Not having found it...
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It drove them indoors, all of them that had any indoors to go to. Chubby Derek fought the urge to shove his way into the crowded stores scattered up and down the street, interspaced with empty lots and condemned buildings. He pulled his thin, insufficient coat closer to his shoulders to fight off the chill that was slowly setting in, trying to avoid the hailstones that seemed to be playing darts with his ears and cheeks.

Eventually, he did end up inside. A small insurance office had an open door, and few people seemed to think it a good hiding place from the sudden storm. He pushed the door open with his shoulder, backed up to it once inside to make sure it was closed, scooted into the nearest corner, and sat.

There would have been nothing odd about this year at all, had it not been for a few minor differences. First, this year he wouldn't find extra food at the cafeteria. Apparently, too much food had been wasted, and new policies had been put in place to prevent the waste. The flip-side being, people like him went hungry more often.

Then there was the fellow in the insurance office, talking into a phone, laughing softly with someone on the other end, and talking about the sudden change in the weather - which was perfectly normal for the season, Derek thought.

And still, Derek would never have thought anything might have made that year odd, until he saw the man again. Derek eventually learned how to work, and found a job at a construction company, pouring cement. Fat, short Derek had become the team's muscle-man, and still only scarcely taller than six feet, 18 year-old Derek was looked up to frequently. A mop of dark hair hung over dark eyes, giving him an almost violent look.

If Derek had not been hungry, he would not have happened into the insurance office. If he had not happened into the insurance office, he would never have recognized the man who now drove up to the job site in a white Mazda B2600, wearing a curiously familiar suit-coat, and an even more curiously familiar smile.

Derek's white T-shirt, stating in bold red letters, "Do It Right", was as full of holes as his coat had been, but these were worn in from hard work over the course of a few weeks, rather than several years of wear. The tall insurance agent approached, looking the site over, and the foreman caught up with him. "This the place?", the agent asked in amusement.

The foreman scowled. "Yeah, this is the place. Why?"

"It's so... remote, and unlikely. It seems like they'd put it in the center of town."

Derek had been leaning against the company truck, working his way through a bottle of Gatorade Rain, he wasn't sure exactly what flavor, and now added to his current list of activities, watching the foreman and the insurance agent talk.

"It is a good idea, though. This will help expand the town in a big hurry. You do know what this is, right?"

The foreman gave a half-squint at the insurance agent, as much an expression of emotion as to block out the sun. "Not sure," he drawled. "Some toy store, I guess."

The insurance agent's lips pursed a bit, almost hiding a smile, and he gave a slight nod. "Yes, yes..."

He laughed that same soft laugh he'd given that cold Winter day, five years ago, and Derek looked back to his Gatorade - which was now officially empty. He tossed the empty bottle into the back of the truck and started walking toward the two of them.

"It's a sport - think of ancient Rome's gladiatorial combats, only on a smaller scale."

"You mean they plan to put a - damned arena here?" The foreman sounded almost worried.

That laugh again. Like someone who could take worldwide destruction with a smile. "Almost."

"Sh-... kill people and stuff? I don't think that's legal..."

Derek was close enough to be considered a part of the crowd now, but he hung back just out of reach of either of them. The insurance agent kept on talking. "Toys, as you put it, pitted one against another. A truly amusing spectacle, and a marvel of modern science."

Derek tried to imagine the possibilities, turning the logical answers over in his head. It all sounded rather ridiculous to him.

"You just on for the local branch?"

The question came from the foreman, and the insurance agent had to mull it over a bit before he responded, "Oh, no. Well, yes and no. I am only the local agent, but our respective businesses are partners worldwide."

At this, the foreman, who looked every bit the dirty, hard-as-concrete worker, simply grunted and turned away. Derek looked at him in question, and he only shrugged, looking up to him. Saying nothing, the foreman walked away from where the insurance agent stood, making his way over to the truck. Lunch break ended in twelve minutes. Derek simply stood there looking at the insurance agent, never seeming to care that the insurance agent was staring back. Finally, the insurance agent broke the silence with, "Do I recognize you?"

Quiet Derek only shrugged. Still the agent's eyes bored into him, and Derek eventually looked away. The silence was broken again by, "You're that little boy, aren't you?"

Again, only a shrug. "Yes, you are. I remember you. You've changed a lot since then, you know. Tell me, what were you doing in my office that day?"

Derek blushed a little. It was his tendency, when he had little to concentrate on, for his mind to create vivid fantasies, even to the point where he could almost feel the things he was imagining. This had happened that day - in fact, to the point where Derek had laughed aloud at his own fantasies, fought in them, defeated numerous enemies, and had nearly retired from his life's adventures with the princess' pretty maid - but then the hail had stopped, and it wasn't right to borrow space in somebody else's place when you didn't absolutely need to be there.

He remembered that there had been a question posed, and shrugged in answer. "Were you... simply daydreaming?"

Again Derek shrugged, and turned away, a little discomfited by the questions, but more so by the man's intent pursual of them. He was rather startled when the slightly taller man put a hand on his shoulder, and turned abruptly to face him.

"You have an amazing capacity with your mind," he was told as the insurance agent slipped something into his hands. "Try it. I promise you, you will enjoy it."

With that, the insurance agent walked away, checking up on various things, while Derek walked toward the truck, and picked his gloves off the tailgate. "What was that about?", the foreman asked him, and Derek shrugged. Derek shoved whatever it was into his pocket, and in a few minutes, they were working again, the entire thing forgotten.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby Photosoph » Fri Nov 03, 2006 3:16 pm

Sweet! Angelic Layer! :jump:
I love that anime; and I think it's cool you're working on a fanfiction for it. ^^ Especially from a male character's point of view -there weren't enough guys participating the sport in the anime. :P

I like what you've written so far; it's good. Please keep it up; I'd love to read more. ^^
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
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Postby Magekind » Sun Nov 05, 2006 12:08 pm

Hey, thanks for the comment! Yes, I noticed the glaring lack, coupled with the fact that over half the males who did play were highly incompetent. I guess it might be the author's thoughts on the male mind in general. But Derek will show them! He'll show them all!

Next Installment: He gives it all away.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby Photosoph » Sun Nov 05, 2006 1:40 pm

But Derek will show them! He'll show them all!

:lol: Rofl! Yes; let him show them! ^^ :grin:

Cool! I'll be looking forward to more. So far Angelic Layer has got to be one of my favourite, if not my absolute favourite anime series. So it's so cool to find someone on CAA writing a fanfic on it! ^_^
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
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The Angel Returns

Postby Magekind » Sun Nov 05, 2006 7:30 pm

The remainder of the day was uneventful. Fateful, omen-filled and frightening, should one look back on it, but for all that, nothing else that stood out just then in Derek's mind happened. The working day moved on, and at the close he visited his "adopted sister."

Actually, they had no relation at all, not even adopted. They used to be best friends, had once talked about marriage - around the age of ten - and had grown up together. She, however, was now married to someone else, while Derek was still a bachelor. It never bothered him, though. She was happy living with her husband, and that was plenty enough for Derek.

She had a four-year-old child, whom, it seemed, was terribly fond of Derek, always choosing him sometimes over her own parents. This evening, Derek was talking with her husband about enterprise, the subject slowly drifting to the new "toy-shop" being built about a mile out of town, when the girl came running into the house and spontaneously threw her arms around Derek. He gently returned the embrace, and drew her onto his lap. Suddenly, the card given him by the insurance agent came to mind, and he drew it out of his pocket, presenting it to the little girl.

"Maurie, I have something for you," he announced, glancing at the bright pink card as she took it from him.

"What is it, Uncle Derek?", she asked, taking it in both hands to look carefully at it.

"A gift card," he replied, having seen "GIFT CARD" printed clearly across its face. He made sure to read things these days, as much as possible, even though doing so was a chore. "Read it," he urged her.

Small hands turned the card over, and back over, and she brushed her long hair out of her face, more for dramatic effect than the chance it was in her way, and began reading. "Piffle Princess Gift Card."

She turned it over, and Derek thought hard. The girl's mother had no problem immediately recognizing the name of the store, regardless of the fact that the name was specific for a foreign location. From the back, the little girl read, "Manufacturer's coupon. Redeemable for one Angel at any location."

She pulled a sticky note off that she'd been lifting to read from the card, and read it quietly, only her lips moving until she read, "The amazing boy in the lobby corner."

She looked up at Derek in surprise. "Uncle Derek, this isn't for me, it's for you!"

Derek shook his head. "I'm giving it to you. It doesn't say who has to use it, does it? I want you to have it."

A four-year-old on his lap turned abruptly around and planted a kiss on his cheek, and then in youthful bashfulness, fled to her mother, sitting on her lap and proudly showing off the slightly soiled card. Derek left soon after, but he never forgot that night.

He couldn't. Two days later, he received a call from his supervisor, telling him that he was needed at the hospital immediately. He left the job site and drove at speeds in excess of the posted limit, arriving at the emergency medical center in around three minutes. Hitting the front desk, he asked for his "sister", and was, after but a brief delay, given the room number. Taking a flight of stairs, he charged madly about until he finally burst into the room, and stopped dead.

The young mother was breathing her last. Derek never knew she was eight years older than him until that day. Beside her lay the dead child, and standing in the doorway beside him, equally, or possibly more shocked and confused, stood the husband and father.

Derek stood rooted to the spot, watching his only friend die, while her husband eventually gathered enough presence of mind to walk to her side and take her hand. She could feel him, she could see him, and in an instant, her pain seemed to melt away. The sound that escaped her throat stuck to Derek for the rest of his life.

A nurse approached, and gave the grieving widower a long embrace. Derek could hear them sobbing, but shed no tears of his own - almost as if he wasn't convinced that anyone was dead. Realization hit him, however, when the nurse approached him with a battered box - the same color of pink as the card. "Maurie wanted you to have this," the nurse explained, while the other man looked on with a distant approbation. "She said it really belonged to you." Then, the nurse's voice dropped to less than a whisper. "She said she's sorry she stole it from you, and... if you give her away, you've given her away."

Derek took the box and slowly held it against his chest, as he would have given little Maurie a hug, and watched as the doctor declared the mother dead, and he and their only relative was ushered from the room. He did not return to work that day, but instead spent the time trying to sort out what he had seen. Twice he called the customer support number just visible on the box, and twice he simply hung up at the automated system. Finally, he drove out to a city a full two hours away, and found what he was looking for.

Jen & Sons Toystore was a popular vendor for the Angelic Layer dolls, which was obviously what this was. In a daze, Derek returned home with not simply the one doll, but a full set, everything he would need to make a perfect replica of a young adult variation of the late Maurie, including a photograph of her, taken on the last day of her life.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby Photosoph » Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:16 pm

Aw man, so dang sad! T_T Even though the characters, in a sense, were introduced quickly and left quickly (well, you know; they hadn't been a large part of the story up until now), it's still a very touching tragedy. Well written, and I like the way you've given him this sort of backstory. Kinda reminds me of a mixture of backstories from the different characters from the anime, but still unique. ^_^
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
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Postby Magekind » Sun Nov 12, 2006 5:00 am

The more I look at it, the more my characters seem to be turning just a little more toward the standard anime. But hey! I take license from the fact that... well... it more or less IS anime.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby Photosoph » Sun Nov 12, 2006 2:02 pm

Lol! Yeah. ^_^ Or at least, it's based of anime, so yeah. ^^
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
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First Move

Postby Magekind » Mon Nov 13, 2006 1:16 am

With a week off, Derek felt he managed to perfect the doll, and when he was finished, brought it before the late Maurie's father. Standing in the doorway of his home, Derek brought out of a case the doll, letting him take it for a moment. The father smiled and frowned all at once, tears filled his eyes and he brought the figure up to his face, kissing it lightly on the cheek.

"I uh.... guess you couldn't have done a better job, Derek. She does look like my daughter. Thank you - at least I get to see her before she starts her career. Do you.... plan on taking her to the tables and entering her in the tournaments?"

Derek took the doll back, studying her light complexion, petite features and almost-scowling face, and began to put her away. "Dunno. Don't seem right for 'er. I figured..."

"Derek, it's the best thing now. It's what Maurie would have wanted." He smiled lightly, and Derek finished closing up the case. With a nod, Derek turned to leave, and the widower watched him go, unsure of what to say. Derek, he knew, was a strange one, but it was a strangeness that he found he often appreciated. Derek was simply happy in his own world.

And in his own world, Derek tended to remain. The week over, he went back to work, and the Maurie-doll spent a lot of time alone. On the weekends, he would pull her out, try to fashion new suits of clothing for her - at which he tended to fail utterly. She remained in a light cotton dress, consisting of a white blouse and a pink ankle-length skirt. He finally managed to braid her long red hair, but eventually gave up on that as well, brushing it out free and leaving most of it behind her to hang loose. A pity, really, for he felt she would look better - and more battle-ready - if something were done with her hair, but he couldn't do it.

It was another month before he decided to try the whole thing out. He'd heard of the tables, the psychic emanations taken to control the dolls, and in all truth, he little believed it. He was in for a surprise when he entered the toystore, was led to a room in the back, to their only layer, and watched as a young girl, a little younger than he'd made Maurie out to be, sat in the chair, put on the glasses, and gave her doll, clad in black robes with steel shoulder pads and a bright orange emblem on the front, almost nonchalantly onto the table.

Surprise spread slowly over Derek's face as the doll came to life, landing on her feet, performing a few warm-up stretches like an acrobat readying for an act, and rather suddenly beginning to whirl and jump about as readily as a martial arts master in practice. Several false attacks were made, coupled with several quick evades or blocks - mostly the former. A lot of maneuvering, most of which Derek couldn't be sure exactly how it happened. He began to regret making Maurie faster than she was strong - it was shaping up to be something entirely beyond him. But it only suited the deceased child. Cautiously, Derek helped himself into the chair across her, trying to ask permission with his eyes and a gesture of the hand, but the girl at the table was too entranced with her doll to even notice him, and he simply took license.

The display ended in a mighty leap that brought the doll just outside of the table's influence, and the master caught her immediately. Then, she looked up and noticed the massive Derek sitting across from her. Timidly, he smiled, and began to open his case and produce Maurie, but the girl's haughty smile in return, coupled with a lightly contemptuous look, made him stop. He looked questioningly at her, and she laughed a little. "You're new at this, aren't you?", she asked, and Derek nodded.

"You don't even have a reservation, do you?"

Derek only shrugged, and she continued, "This place is only for the real players. If you want to come practice with us, you have to have a real desire. A guy that just wants to play with dolls... that's just disgusting."

This was responded to by Derek scowling lightly, and then by raising a brow in question. "Oh, g- cat got your tongue? Can't you speak, mister? If you don't really want to be a champion, don't even bother with this table, alright? Get yourself a club reservation. Oh, I almost forgot - you have to join the club first."

She laughed at her own cleverness, and Derek found himself sighing. He set the case on the floor, but as he'd been let in by the store's proprietor, he felt he had license to use this. Reaching down, he unlatched the case and opened it, starting to draw Maurie out when the girl felt she'd been ignored too long. With two fingers, she grabbed the front of Maurie's blouse and tore the doll out of his hands, ripping the thin cloth as she did so, and simply letting Maurie fall face first on the ground. Derek looked up, irritation starting to swell within him, and for a moment he and his antagonist locked eyes. Just then, it began to occur to him just how small this fifteen-year-old girl before him was, just how light she was, soft-skinned and weak. In but a moment, he could have one hand wrapped firmly around her small neck and-

She left. Her brown eyes grew suddenly wide, and she spun on her heels and quickly strode out of the room. Derek imagined that he could see her quavering slightly, as he looked away, and bent over to lift poor Maurie off the floor. Her blouse torn, she looked worse then ever. Before, she had hardly looked professional, hardly like a warrior-Maurie, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that she would finally move on her own, and she could enter fights, and even, theoretically, if he actually could do this, she could win.

The problem of Maurie's clothing was soon fixed by Derek cutting a sleeve off his shirt, and wrapping it around her, buttoning it up. Granted, it was a bit tight, and it didn't go over her shoulders like he wanted it to, but that wasn't the issue. She was modestly covered again, and that would do. Then, gently, he set her on the table, put on the glasses as he'd seen the girl do, pressed the button, and focused. Nothing happened.

For quite some time, he only stared at her, trying several different things to try and draw the little doll off the table under her own strength, but it failed again and again. He kept trying, though, and eventually he thought he saw her arm move a little, but then again, it might not have.

Two hours later, he gave up, drew Maurie off the table, set her carefully back in the suitcase, and left. Yes, it was possible, he'd seen it done, but... maybe it wasn't for him. Maybe something with his mind left him unable to control the dolls at all, and he would just have to give up. However, not satisfied with those answers, he took the next weekend to try again.

_______________________________________________________________
Too long for one post. Continued below.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby Magekind » Mon Nov 13, 2006 1:18 am

This time when he entered, there was a different girl sitting at the chair where the rude one had sat before, and he took the same seat he'd used last week. The girl was running a doll clad in a short black skirt and a tight black wrap for her top, with the same insignia on it as before. She, too, wore steel shoulder pads, but her movements were different. Although light and thin like the one before, instead of moving about quickly, this one tended to stand her ground, making quick repeated kicks and strong punches - karate, to the best of Derek's knowledge. Kung-fu or something. Granted, the only kind of fighting Derek could have recognized would be gun and sword fighting, but still, this interested him.

Once again, when she was finished, her doll stepped off the table by itself, and she caught it, and once again he unlatched the black leather case and began to draw Maurie from it. The blonde, a little older than the girl here last week, stepped up to watch, and as soon as he put Maurie on the table, began asking questions.

"Is that your doll? Where did you get her? What's her style? Have you ever won anything with her yet? The club doesn't let people in unless they've won something, but beating a club member works for that. That's how I got in. Do you want to join the club? It's nice being a member. We do dances together, sometimes. Laurie even puts together trips to bigger practice places sometimes, it's really nice. Do you know Laurie? You look like you might be related. She has three different dolls. I think one's enough, it's all you really need. Are you going to just have one? It seems strange you've got a girl doll, doesn't it? Most boys go with boy dolls, although I guess there's no rules saying you can't have a girl doll. What do-"

She stopped suddenly, and Derek was immediately grateful. However, his gratitude wore thin when she asked, "What are you trying to do?"

Derek never answered. He kept trying to move Maurie, feeling less hindered by the girl's silence. "Why doesn't she move?", finally shattered the silence, followed with a slow, almost worried, "Is she hurt?"

Frustration was only getting worse, and Derek slowly drew the glasses off his face, setting them in his lap. In response to her questions, he only gave a frustrated shrug, and reached out to take Maurie, but the girl's hand was in the way, open, as if ready to receive something. "May I try?", she asked in what Derek found to be a sweet, polite, and actually pleasant voice, and he looked up to her finally. For a moment, he studied her face, and eventually relented, handing her the glasses, which she promptly put away, reaching out and taking Maurie off the table at the same time with her free hand. "No, see, I'll use this one. According to club rules, that's seat 1 and this is seat 2. When you're playing alone, you always take seat 1. You only take seat 2 if someone's already on the layer. Usually, if you're not going to practice with them, you wait until they're done with seat 1."

She sat in the seat she called "seat 1", and tossed Maurie toward the table, putting on and activating the glasses immediately afterwards. Only just in time, Maurie's hands sprang out, she caught herself and rolled forward, ending with a handspring and standing upright. "That's a standard evasion procedure," the blonde girl explained. "She came down a little faster than I was expecting. Now watch this. I'm the only person in the club who can do this."

The girl seemed to go in a trance, and suddenly, Derek noticed the most curious changes on the doll's face. The scowl loosened, and her eyes turned up to him. Slowly, she began to smile, and then waved, running toward her. He was lost in the moment, starting to hold out his arms to hug Maurie close to him as soon as they met - but first, she fell off the table, and Derek was forced to catch the now lifeless doll.

Still, he held her close to him, closing his eyes and for a moment remembering the warmth of a little four-year-old's affection for him. He was taken from his memories by a rather sudden, "She means a lot to you, doesn't she?", from the blonde, who was rather strangely overjoyed when Derek responded softly, "Yeah. Yeah, she does."
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby Photosoph » Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:04 pm

Aw; it's so nice! And I like the contrast between the first two Layer players he meets. ^_^ I'm really looking forward to more, and wish I could give you a better comment. But for the moment, I guess it's suffice to say that I'm really enjoying this story. ^^
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

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Postby Magekind » Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:20 am

And that, for now, is sufficient. Next up: His turn.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby Photosoph » Tue Nov 14, 2006 3:16 pm

I'm looking forward to it. :)
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
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Postby Magekind » Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:15 am

Another weekend, and another visit to the toystore, which seemed to be getting evermore further and further away. His own work increased in pace, in hopes that he could simply use that facility some day, rather than drive a few score of miles away to the nearest town. Still, he soon stopped outside of this small toystore, and wandered inside. This time, the table was empty, and still he took the seat he had taken every time before, disregarding the "rules" of this enigmatic club he kept hearing about. Soon, he was back to the same old game of trying to get Maurie to move, and still Maurie would not move. Eventually, he heard voices, and frustrated, he leaned forward, glared hard at Maurie, and tried to envision her moving - still to no avail.

It was them. Girls of the club, and both of the ones he'd met before. The dark-haired girl rolled her eyes and sighed, while the blonde approached warily.

"Ummm, mister? I don't think that's how you get her to move..."

Her voice was soft, a little frightened, and Derek's frustration showed. The dark-haired one spat out, "I'm so sick of this!", and, ignoring a plea from her friend, sat at the opposite end of the table, donned the headset, tossed her doll onto the table and scowled. Derek scowled back, but only briefly. "Look," she said mockingly, "I can make her move!"

With that, the doll in black whisked over to Maurie, and with one swift kick, sent her rolling nearly off the edge of the layer. Derek focused harder, and thought he heard, at the edge of his consciousness, the blonde girl saying softly, "You can't move her like a puppet. She has to move..."

And then he understood. Maurie slowly began to raise herself, and Derek rather suddenly sank back, staring at the table in a way that suggested he might not have actually seen what was before him. "Oh, she can move! Faster!",, his antagonist cried, and the next moment, Maurie was whisked off her feet by a well-placed sweep. Her opponent then took Maurie's legs, and began to twirl about in a classical fashion, accelerating the spin until Maurie's long hair all extended out before her. Even more acceleration, and in the next instant, Maurie was leaving the layer, flying in a direction that was more toward Derek's opponent than Derek himself.

He almost forgot to pull off the headset in his mad dash to catch Maurie. He never really stood, simply bolted from the seat, and caught the doll in his right hand. Then he stood, and the look on his face was not a happy one. In a single step he strode up to the antagonist's seat, and glared down at her. The palm of his left hand began to tingle as, in his mind's eye, it caught the front of her tee. In the next instant she would be forced against the nearest wall with enough pressure to knock the air out of her lungs, and in the instant following, she would be flying herself, with much less effort from Derek than it took for her doll to throw Maurie. And if she did not then flee from him with all the haste that she could muster...

She might have been able to read the slightest hint of what was going through Derek's head through the look in his eyes, on his face, and indeed in every motion of his muscular body. Slowly, she drew the glasses off her own face, and then slipped silently out of the chair. She did run - not literally, but she walked very quickly out of the room, looking once over her shoulder, and fear was written plainly on her face. Derek never took his eyes off the chair where she had been sitting. To do so could have been dangerous for anyone, but moreso, he himself began to fear his own thoughts.

Something stirred him out of the depths of his mind. The softest, tickling feel on his clenched fist, the hand that did not hold Maurie, and a tiny, broken voice at the edge of his reality. "What's her name?", he managed to make out, and slowly, he turned to face the blonde girl, staring at her blankly, trying to remove the still-burning feelings of aggression in himself.

"Maurie," he eventually said in a deep note, and she responded readily, "A pretty name. Did you make it up?"

"No," Derek replied.

"Is this the first time...?"

And Derek understood. Immediately, a light smile fell across his features, but he couldn't hold it back for long. A quick, "Ha!", escaped him, one of pure joy, and he lifted Maurie to his face, embracing her, kissing her cheek, laughing silently. She had moved. She had finally moved. The girl before him could hardly contain her own giddiness, and it presented itself in a few brief bursts of giggles. Then, Derek turned his attention back to her, becoming a little more solemn, although still smiling broadly.

"You helped me," he said, finally understanding. She did not reply, only smile, and, after an instant, look away.

But, in looking away, she still saw Derek's hand through the corner of her eye. Maurie had been transferred to his left, and his right was extended toward her. Happily, she took it - or rather, placed her hand inside of his, and he took her hand, and they- he did not exactly shake her hand. There was no motion of the arm, only a slight tensing of it, and a firm grip before the "shake" was released.

Derek left that day happier than ever before. The girl knew she'd made a new friend, and at the same time, they both had the slightest notion that together, somehow, they had made a new enemy.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

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Postby Photosoph » Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:03 pm

That's really cool! I like that scene; bringing back those characters and introducing a new friend and enemy. Great writing, as before. ^^

Btw, I'll be going off CAA for a little bit, so if I don't comment on your story immediately the next time you post, please be patient and I'll comment when I get back. ^_^ All the best for your excellent writing!
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
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Fight! - For Him.

Postby Magekind » Sun Nov 26, 2006 9:07 pm

Sandy Perry gracefully eased herself into the chair across from the strange fellow. She knew well the whole club would be against her for this, but right now, it didn't matter. This guy had what must be the cutest Angel she'd ever seen; and he seemed so attached to her. He needed help, and Sandy was determined, regardless of the consequences, to give it to him.

Slowly, he got Maurie to stand again, and slowly, unsteadily, she took her first steps. It wasn't long before Maurie was walking regularly, and Sandy's Teika was there beside her to hold her up. They went from walking to running, to jumping, and finally, within the few hours they had together, Derek and Maurie were already capable of defending themselves. It disturbed Sandy a little that Maurie was taking on Tae Kwon Do, as Teika did, but that was natural, as everything Maurie learned, Teika taught her. Sandy only hoped that what little actual fighting assistance she had given Maurie would help get her started. She planned on going no further.

The confrontation had to come. Back at the clubhouse, Sandy took her usual seat, #8, in the circle of eight chairs. She was the lowest of them. Not that she was the worst, she was the newest. Erica had twice her rank, being number four, and today, Erica kept stealing mean glances at Sandy as the club's statistics were read.

Public business was called by one of the eight girls, and the first thing on the list was an extension of the club. Ten members was suggested, but that, it was decided, would hurt the ratio, and it was kept to eight. Immediately following that decision, Erica, following a slight motion of her hand, hissed, "I think we should cut it down to seven."

Six pairs of eyes were on her now. Sandy almost hid her head, knowing what would come next. Erica kept talking. "I initiated our latest member, Sandy. Yesterday, I saw her fraternizing with an enemy. She was helping a known opponent with his fighting skills."

The question was then asked, exactly what Erica proposed to do about it. Before there could be an answer, another question was posed: What did Sandy have to say about it? There was no response from her, and Erica stated her intention, challenging Sandy to a fight. Sandy made no objections, and eventually gave the acceptance. A date and time were set, and Sandy's doom was sealed.

Derek stepped into the toystore a day late - not that it mattered, the working week hadn't started back up yet. Actually, he'd come two days in a row, counting this day, and had been amazed that Sandy - or worse, Erica - hadn't showed up. But today, he knew why. As he moved into the room where the Layer was, he found Sandy, and Erica, and four other girls, along with two whom, due to their thirty-plus years, he classified as women. The center of attention was Sandy and Erica, and they were fighting.

Derek watched for a while, but all in all, this seemed like a bad time. Three of them took their eyes off the fight and looked over to Derek, scowling, and Sandy, at a critical moment, looked up at him in surprise. Erica took advantage, and ended the fight in the same way as she'd ended the duel with Maurie, throwing Teika out of the Layer.

Again, it was Derek's hand that caught the doll, and he handed Teika to Sandy, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Move," was all he said, and the females about him stared. Erica shouted, "Oh, you again, huh?!"

His face drawn, Derek sat at the seat Sandy had just vacated, and sat Maurie on his hand. Then, with a little shove, he stood her on the Layer, donned the glasses, and raised a brow at Erica before leaning back into the chair and seeming to enter a trance. Because he was no longer watching Maurie, he was Maurie.

Erica didn't waste time. Although her doll had taken damage, she was confident that this beginner could inflict no more. She charged in toward Maurie with a flash, elbowing her. Maurie blinked as she approached, and then ducked. She stood, and proceeded to jump, just avoiding a lower attack. Maurie evaded one more simple attack before taking a powerful one straight to the chest. This landed her in the center of the layer, but she got quickly to her feet, just in time to avoid another attack.

Erica was frustrated. She struck out again and again, and in the brief battle had only made two good strikes. This time, she was going to do it, all or nothing. She got nothing.

Maurie watched Erica's doll closing in quickly, a little easier to see now that Derek's adrenaline was flowing. Sandy was saying something that he couldn't quite hear, and everyone had fallen into an intent stare, except Erica. Erica lifted both of her feet into the air, intending to plant them somewhere, anywhere on Maurie's soft body, but it didn't work that way. Maurie leaned to one side, her right leg lifted, and in one swift motion that, to Derek, seemed to take forever, brought it across the neck of Erica's unsuspecting doll. A look of surprise and pain crossed Erica's face as the doll flew nearly off the edge of the layer - toward Derek. Maurie covered the distance immediately, and just before Erica could get her doll to stand again, kicked her in the chest, sending her completely off the edge, and ending the fight.

Derek recovered Erica's doll first, as Maurie walked back to him and jumped off the edge of the layer, he only just catching her now lifeless form. He removed the glasses, stood, and in silence, handed Erica her doll. There was no emotion on his face, no thoughts of violence in his mind. He almost smiled, but not quite, the look of hatred and frustration on Erica's face wouldn't allow that. The room was ominously quiet as Derek left, and then, he wasn't sure he would ever return.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

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Postby Photosoph » Tue Nov 28, 2006 1:48 pm

Dang! Such a cool turn of events. ^_^ I like the explanation of the club... very mysterious and sort of 'ominous'. Like a potential bad-guy or opposing element which could be used further down the storyline too. And I love how at the end Derek wasn't as nearly-violent as he had been the other times.

As before, great writing, and a very compelling, excellent tale. Thanks for posting more stuff so I can read it! ^_^
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
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Postby Magekind » Sun Dec 03, 2006 10:15 pm

He could feel the hard, leathery flesh part, and each bone complain as the massive blade was forced down further, further into his opponent. In an instant, the weapon was through, and ignoring the blood spray, Derek took a step forward, bringing his blade in a wide swing around before him again. An opponent jumped back, and grinned, its six claws hiding its face. "Come on," it beckoned in a voice that belonged to a man, not to this hideous beast. "Stand up, **** you!", it shouted, and Derek's eyes opened.

He wasn't fighting at all. There was no massive sword. He was sitting against a post, his eyes closed, and the voice was coming from his boss. Quickly, he stood, and the boss shook his head. "What's the big deal, sleeping on the job? You been up late?"

Derek only shook his head, and his boss grunted. "'Nuff. We pour in two minutes, unless the truck gets here late. Get your boots on and grab a shovel."

This was an inside pour, something they hadn't framed out before the other crews had decided to put the roof on the building. It was nice, though. At least the cement wasn't subject to the fitful rainfalls of the area, and the season. He did as he was told, and was ready when the truck arrived. When it did, he threw his back into the work, and the rest of the day disappeared in ten more hours of heavy labor blur.

Back home, at his little house, muscles along his spine complained, his arms and legs joining in the chorus, of the hard work, but he loved the feel, and forced his body to carry itself through a long, relaxing shower. That finished, he prepared to go to bed - but couldn't sleep. His entire body ached, his eyes would not stay open, he continued to slip in and out of consciousness, but he could not sleep. Eventually, he thought to pray - it usually helped. Tumbling out of his bed onto his knees, he whispered a brief petition, asking his Maker for peace and rest, and dragged himself unwillingly back into bed.

It only got worse. He no longer felt tired, but instead, was soon pacing around the room. A few stretches, and his muscles, so long as he didn't do anything that might qualify as work, quit complaining. His mind began to clear, and with nothing else to do, he put himself in his little car, and began to drive.

The machine took on a mind of its own, and when he turned off the key, he was outside the home of Maurie's father. With both a smile and a frown, he drew Maurie off the seat beside him, and walked up to the door. The doorbell had not even been pressed when the door opened, and Derek was facing the home's only occupant.

"Derek," the man said in surprise. That sentence might have ended with an exclamation point, but the poor man seemed so drained, excitement was all but beyond him. Derek returned with a nod and a grunted greeting, and was invited in. His friend had been staying up watching television - he couldn't sleep either. Derek said nothing as he held Maurie out to him.

"Oh, Derek, I can't. Maurie said you'd be giving her away..."

"Maurie's a little girl. She should be with her father," was Derek's brief reply.

Tenderly, the doll was lifted out of Derek's hands, and the question, "You're sure?", was posed to him. Derek only responded with a nod.

The conversation was little, yet dawn still threatened to break before Derek made his way out. He did not wake up at home.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby Photosoph » Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:05 pm

Ah! I loved so much about this most recent story post!
One: the fact you brought God into it. ^_^ That's so cool!
Two: my brother once did a bit of work 'landscaping': digging holes and planting trees. It was really physical, tiring work; and I can really imagine how Derick would feel having known how tired my brother got. Unlike Derick, however, he didn't enjoy the feeling. XP

Also the way you took the story back to Maurie's father; how he wasn't just a character left behind in order to set up a backstory.

Dang! So well done, Magekind.
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
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Postby Magekind » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:26 am

Hey, how could I write a story and completely ignore Factor 1? I guess it's possible, but... I opted the better route.

As for factor two, it takes a really odd mindset to enjoy physical labor. Those who do, are often heard to complain about it when they're tired. It's a ruse to get sympathy, and affection. In reality, though the few of us may complain aloud when people are around to hear, there's few things that are more fulfilling than sore muscles. I mean the good kind of sore.

Oh, and Maurie's father will be back. Now I need to remember what I was doing with Derek. That last sentence leaves me as much, if not possibly more, in suspense as the casual reader.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

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Postby Photosoph » Sun Dec 10, 2006 1:30 pm

Rofl! :grin: Well it's good that you're doing this with a lot of creativity. ^_^ Sometimes planning can be good, but stories that are done just as a person writes can be great too. ^_^
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
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Postby kryptech » Sun Dec 10, 2006 2:24 pm

I just came across Heart's Blade today and quite enjoyed it. I had no previous knowledge of Angelic Layer so the world, as it were, is new to me. Interesting stuff - I'll be keeping my eye on this.
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A New Persona

Postby Magekind » Mon Dec 11, 2006 2:34 am

Thank you. You should check up on Angelic Layer sometime. I won't be answering all the nitty-gritty questions here in Heart's Blade.
_________________________________________________________________

Several hours later, and later for work, Derek arrived back at his home. The first thing he did was to call his boss and make an apology and ask for an excuse. He wouldn't be in today. The next order of business was to set up his new toy. The idea had been floating around in his head for a while now, but just then, he decided to make it final. When he was finished, he packed the new piece into the case that had once held Maurie, and headed out to find some old friends for a bit of outfitting.

Kae, he was called. Soon, he was suited up with a full chainmail shirt, and a good haircut later, he looked like a massive Celtic warrior. Pleased, Derek went back home. A few trimmings, and all he was missing was a blade. It was only logical that such weapons would be illegal by the game's obscure code of laws, so Derek opted to leave it out. Finally, he brought it to the toystore to give him a test run.

Kae wasn't exactly the fastest hand. Maurie definitely had better on-the-spot reactions and reflexes. Kae, if he had enough time and a definite plan, could move just as quickly, but he tended to prefer to stand his ground. Derek eventually got him running about, taking a few steps, but once things got intricate, Kae got clumsy. Now, it was just motion practice for the two of them. Kae would have to be able to hold his weight in a fight.

That was the only day Derek skipped work, and he made it count. He spent several hours with Sandy at the table. Although Sandy seemed happy enough to see him, and was glad to help, there was definitely something wrong. Still, Derek never asked, and she never told him.

Kae was getting to be a force to be reckoned with, and Sandy was getting ready to spill to Derek the truth. Derek had seen some old fights against an oddly-clad female warrior going against a rather simply clad one. The only thing he remembered from that match were the energy blasts, and his mind set to thinking.

"I doubt it," Sandy told him when he passed her his idea. "It would either take some grand degree of concentration, or it can't really be done, and was just added as a show-effect. It's also possible that it's something only allowed in the newer Layers. I hear they have like... scenery and stuff in them, rather than just a flat plane."

Derek shrugged. "I'd still like to try."

"I don't know how to help you with that. Sorry."

"Wouldn't your club have some kind of database? Something that might help?"

Sandy looked up to him quickly, and there was a curious pause, during which it slowly settled into his mind that he'd made an all-too popular social mistake. She checked the time and excused herself, leaving shortly thereafter. Derek thought for quite a while, not sure how he should continue, before he went back to practicing coordination with Kae.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

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Postby kryptech » Mon Dec 11, 2006 5:58 am

I was kinda wondering what would happen after Derek gave away Maurie, but that's cool that Kae in on the scene now. Considering the title, I'm hoping Kae does get a sweet blade in time. ß-)
"Everybody's weird in their own special way." - P.V.
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"The UAC is making safer worlds through superior firepower." - Doom 3
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Postby Photosoph » Mon Dec 11, 2006 1:41 pm

Yeah; blades are cool. X3 Great to see someone else enjoying this story too! :jump:

Another great chapter; you keep adding twists that I couldn't foresee; in the chapter before this last one it was giving away Maurie; in this one, it was taking a new angel. I thought he'd just go back with Maurie. o_O

Great way to keep the story interesting. ^_^ And great writing, as usual.
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
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Postby Magekind » Mon Dec 11, 2006 3:09 pm

Giving Maurie back to her father was something that was, oddly, planned out from the beginning. It just happened rather spontaneously. Next week, New Weapons and Old Enemies.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby Photosoph » Wed Dec 13, 2006 3:07 pm

Sweet. ^^ Sounds good. Not sure what else to say, though... just wanted to save you from double-posting and let you know I read your post. ;)
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[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
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Old World Back

Postby Magekind » Sun Dec 17, 2006 8:57 pm

The next day, something strange happened. A new manager took over the cement company Derek worked for. Derek's contract having long expired, the man gave him his two weeks' notice, telling him he should fire him on the spot, as the rest of the crews were turning to union labor, and he was here to do the same thing.

Those two weeks, Derek spent nothing. He saved every penny he could scrape up, and notified his landlord that he would be moving out. His rent paid, he gathered his belongings, sold what he no longer needed, and moved out. The end of the second week, Derek took his paycheck, drove to the home of his friend, and handed him the keys to his car.

"What's going on?", he was asked, but Derek in reply shook his head. "Come on," the man pressed. "A guy just doesn't give his car away for nothing. You're packed up and moving out. Why?"

Again, Derek answered with a slight shake of the head, a little shrug, and slumped shoulders. "What happened?", the man pressed. "Did you lose your job?"

Derek nodded. "Hey, look," came the response, "maybe I can help. I think we're looking for help around the office..."

Derek looked up sharply, and shook his head emphatically before his friend could finish. "No. No, thank you," he said softly, and looked away.

"Derek, don't do this. I can get you a job, probably pays better than your old one."

"No."

"Why not?"

A shake of the head, and the big man turned about and started walking.

"Where are you going? How are you going to get there? At least let me drive you there..."

"No."

"Derek, I can't use two cars. I'm the only person..."

The big man's feet shuffled a bit, and finally stopped. He turned slowly about to face his friend. "They are not dead, Josh. They are, but they're with you."

"So? She can't drive... she's..." Josh swallowed, and stepped up to Derek, taking his shoulder and holding the keys in front of him. "Keep your car, at least. You'll need it."

"Can't," Derek replied. "Too expensive."

"Then how are you going to get around?"

"Bus."

"Buying gas is cheaper than taking the bus!"

"I only need to take the bus once."

Joshua hung back then, and watched Derek walk away. He felt more lost now than ever. His wife and child dead, and now his best friend had simply walked away. The thoughts that were going through his head were not happy ones as he returned to his home and sat on the couch.

Derek, a few hours later, sat at a bus stop. The bus ran the distance between the two towns, and Derek would take it to there. Once there, he'd find shelter, he would find food. Maybe he would even find work. He had two leather bags with him, one carrying his essential belongings. In the other lay Kae. Why had he taken Kae with him, instead of selling him? He didn't know for sure, but made a few guesses. One was the energy bursts used in those big-time shots that bothered him. If these things could really do that, he wanted to do it. The other was a curious connection between the two of them. He wasn't sure why, but for some reason, Kae seemed to be an entity all his own, with his own conscious, although that conscious required a layer to bring it out.

The call, "Enter The Angels!" was ringing through his head as he stepped onto the bus, and in his imagination he saw Kae, controlled by some girl he didn't recognize, flailing around what looked like a blue-and-white greatsword. The blade contacted the opposing Angel, and Derek "watched", or imagined, in startled surprise as the opposing angel was cut by the blade.

He shook the thought out of his head, paid the driver and found a seat on the left-hand side. Here he sat, losing himself in his imagination as several more stops were made. Quite suddenly, he was aware of low voices to his right. Something was curiously familiar about them, and he looked up to satisfy his curiousity.

Erica bent her head next to her partner, shooting a quick glare at Derek. "That's him," she said softly. "The one that beat me. The one that Sandy's training."

"She's training him?"

"I saw it. She spent four hours with him a few weeks ago."

"Why don't you bring it up with the council?"

Erica grinned, glanced again at Derek, and told her friend, "I want to make sure he won't be trying for revenge when we humiliate her."

"He likes her, then?"

Erica shrugged. "Doubt it. Bet the only reason they're together is 'cause she's teaching him. And then, too, she's still going out with Marc."

A nod from her friend, and Derek looked away. Just his luck. Erica was onboard. That would mean she knew where he was, and would probably be scheming up something. He, of course, had not been close enough to actually hear the conversation. All he could tell is that they were talking. About him. Then the club probably hated him for beating her. That was his first, and last, real victory. He expected to be taken several more times before he learned to win again.

Once back in the town of his origin, Derek got off the bus at a random stop, and began to wander. He moved about randomly, hoping to find some place to eat that wouldn't devour his money. A quick stop at a cheap fast-food place got him a bite for a dollar, but it was hardly enough. That, and it actually cost him $1.06, a rate which he knew he could not keep up for long. It would be back to the old methods of scavenging, scrounging, and charity. Only now that he was eighteen or nineteen, charity would be a bit less available.

Was he eighteen or nineteen? He never really knew. Those numbers were simply the estimate of the doctor he'd had. The last name, Oibri, was one he'd invented, and was quite simply the Irish word for worker. It was work that thrilled and fulfilled him like never before, and the name had come from that. Not that he understood Irish, far from it. He'd got the word from a dictionary he'd happened past in a library.

Deja-vu started to assail him as he walked down a long commercial street. Rather on a sudden, it began to hail. Derek had no coat, and so he kept close to the buildings and quickened his pace. Strange memories assailed him as he saw children crowding into the stores, hanging around the front. Most of them simply loafed, and were eventually herded out, while others decided to seem useful, getting carts for customers, or any other small, helpful task. Others busied themselves with stealing, and some did both.

Derek stayed away from the stores, though. He found himself finally unable to bear it, a few bright red spots on his cheeks and arms from where the hailstones had been hitting him, and stepped into a building quite at random. Here, the deja-vu was even worse. A corner now held a potted plant, but his eyes fixed on that spot. He could hear a friendly voice talking on a telephone behind him.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby Magekind » Sun Dec 17, 2006 9:00 pm

He walked from the lobby into the office, and stared at the man sitting behind the desk. Derek was lost in a dream, but that dream was shattered by the man's kindly face turning up to him, and with a smile asking, "Can I help you?"

Derek dropped uninvited to the seat across the desk from the man. "Yeah," he started slowly. "It was just hailing out there, so I thought I'd... wait it out."

"Don't you have a home? A job?"

The only response was a shake of the head.

"What happened to your job with Chump?"

Derek shrugged, and mumbled, "Union."

There was a knowing nod from the insurance agent, and he began to look through some papers, as if to appear distracted. "So, you have no job?"

Derek nodded.

"No home?"

Again a nod.

"That's a poor situation. What do you plan on doing?"

A shrug.

"Do you still have that card I gave you?"

At this, Derek looked up in surprise. "No," he said, and would have stammered had there been a second syllable to stammer over.

"What did you do with it?"

"Gave it away," he responded, feeling a little ashamed.

"One good turn deserves another, eh?", the insurance agent said jovially, and Derek was even more surprised.

"Well, there was this little girl..."

"Ah! So you gave it to the sweetheart. Yes, I've often heard it stated that the Angelic Layer is a woman's game."

"No," Derek replied, still confused. "She was only about four years old."

"Then you thought it would be a simple toy?"

"No."

There was nothing more the insurance agent could say, not immediately. He straightened the pen in its holder, and looked back to Derek. "Then you felt this child could master the game?"

"It's been done," Derek said simply, and the agent nodded. "Young children have been known to show exceptional skill with the angels. I suppose she has been practicing?"

A shake of the head.

"Why not?"

No reaction at all.

For five long minutes, the insurance agent seemed to bore holes into Derek's head with his steady grey eyes. Derek squirmed a little, but tried to control himself. Finally, the insurance agent broke the silence with, "She is dead, isn't she?"

Derek looked up in surprise, although he was at the same time, not really surprised. "Yeah," he mumbled.

"Then what of the Angel?"

"Her father."

"And yourself?"

The leather case was set on the table, and Kae was revealed. Tenderly, the insurance agent hefted him out, and looked on with surprise. "You've been working him."

A shrug.

"Would you like to keep playing the Angelic Layer?"

Another shrug.

The insurance agent's mood changed drastically. "Well, I'm sorry, boy, but the hail's let up. You'd best be off. Don't go hungry," and at this he passed him a few bills. Not a lot of money, two fives, but money regardless. Derek had over a thousand dollars saved up, but he had to make it last. Forever. He didn't foresee another job. Not that his foresight was anything to brag over. The agent finished with, "Come back and visit me sometime."

Derek did get himself something to eat, and with nothing better to do, made his way toward the toystore. His will to work with Kae, at least, had been revived.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
Magekind
 
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Location: Lost somewhere between here and reality. Help?

Postby Photosoph » Mon Dec 18, 2006 12:23 pm

Wow, a really drastic turn. Another one I didn't see coming. o_O
Hmm... just a little note for editing's sake: a couple of words you used twice in the same sense; like 'crowd' and 'crowding' and two uses of the word 'corner'. If you can replace one of the usages with a similar word, it might flow better. ^_^

Enjoyed this, and I'm really interested to see what will happen next. How's he going to survive for long without a job? O_O
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times. :pinned:
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