Paris

[Mave]

Hehe, yeah sometimes I wonder how long it'll be before I complete KCome too. You have a lot more time than I do when it comes to marrying and having children.

[mai]

I think the perfect # of childrin is 0, lol

Added pages 24 and 25

[Syreth]

I have the same problem! After I FINALLY finish Kardia, it's on to two more larger projects. I think I'm hooked on doing comics for life.

I think the perfect # of childrin is 0, lol

Aww, maybe you'll change your mind in a few years.

The new stuff looks really good. I like the depth of the statements in the last page (the story and the art have a lot of depth as well). Very nice!

[mai]

Aww, maybe you'll change your mind in a few years.

Maybe... some day x_x

Added pages 26 and 27
27 turned out very white, I thought it would look fine but I think it just looks unfinished.

Thanks for the comments!

Paris is going to focus alot on what was said on page 25.
I want to show how much pain keeping your feelings a secret can cause and the regret that comes when you relize it could have been avoided.

[Kaori]

I liked the way you drew the tree in pages 22 and following. The branches in the background on page 24, with the hearts and skull hanging from them, were beautiful, even though I wasn’t sure why they were there.

I particularly liked page 23 for its beautiful, well thought-out composition (especially the top half of the page). The complexity and overlapping elements were used very well on this page, although some of your simpler pages have also been well-composed (page 19, for example).

As a general note, the pencil shading (if that’s what it is) in the characters’ faces looks nice; I like it better than the old flat gray you were using for Auster’s face. However, in page 27 his skin seems nearly as dark as Auster’s in the bottom panel. In the rest of the comic, my impression was that Auster’s skin was significantly darker and that Paris was fairly pale, so this was a bit confusing.

I like the depth of the statements in the last page (the story and the art have a lot of depth as well).

Yes; I also thought that page 25 was very nice. As always, I look forward to reading more.

[mai]

Thank you Kaori!
Paris is paler then Auster, sorry about the confusion, I got a little to carried away with shading -_-

I’m redrawing the first three pages of Paris and adding some new ones aswell. The first page of five is up.

[Kaori]

Ah, good--I had been wondering when we would get to see more of this.

As always, I like the dense texture of your artwork (in the new page 1). The cobweb-like effect in the trees is a nice touch, and the character with the eyepatch looks beautiful.

The upper right-hand panel in this page gave me some pause; there is enough space around the lips that I would expect to be able to see a little bit of the jawline in the lower left corner, so I was slightly puzzled by not seeing anything else of the face other than the lips.

Are you planning on getting rid of the old page 1 (001) also? I can tell by looking back at some of the old pages that your artwork has improved, but this particular one seems like it might be retaining in some fashion. (If you do take it out of the comic, maybe you could post it in the "art" section of your webpage.)

[mai]

Thanks again ^-^
Your right, her jaw should be showing, I'll try to fix that...
The main reason I'm redoing the pages is because the story has changed. I do like page 001, I'll add it to the art section.

Added pages 2,3 and 28

[mai]

I'm going to re-draw Paris, all of it. I just wasn't happy with the way the characters were introduced. So, now there are only 7 pages up. Also I'm going to try to update every sunday evening with something [hopefully a new page]

[mai]

added page 8

[mai]

added pages 9 and 10

[Esoteric]

Yes, very nice art style, very loose and scribbly. It feels very dynamic.

[Kaori]

With the suggestion that Paris should be at an asylum, the story in the first few pages is definitely reminiscent of Bizenghast.

The size of the aunt's neck in the middle panel of page seven seems a bit small compared to her head, but as usual, I still enjoy your art style.

I liked the detailed drawings of eyes on pages seven and eight; the bottom panel of page seven is particularly nice. The paper texture on pages six and seven is also interesting.

[soul alive]

You have a very lovely art style, it really compliments the story. It's intriguing to see the changes you are making as you redraw the story.

(There are some typos throughout, I don't know how easily you can fix them, though. If you'd like editing help, I'd be glad to lend a hand.)

[Mave]

Wow...you're redrawing all the pages?

It's looking awesome!

[mai]

Thank you!
Hopefully it doesn't seem too much like Bizenghast ^-^;
It's pretty easy for me to correct the spelling so just let me know what is misspelled if it’s not too much trouble. I fixed a few words already on page 7 and 8.
Thanks again for reading ^-^

[soul alive]

Looks like you already fixed everything I had seen misspelled.

[mai]

Great ^-^
Added page 11

[mai]

Added pages 12 and 13

[mai]

Added page 14
The ink spatters are intentional. Just so you know, Paris isn't spitting in the last panel -_-;

[Mave]

Pg 14 - Don't worry, I didn't think of that at all. XD

I feel the panels are flowing more smoothly and I have a clearer idea of what's going on this time. Great work!

[mai]

Thank you!
Glad you didn't think he was spitting ^-^

Not related to Paris, I've added a few more comics. They are either pencil or pen with no pencil draft, so it takes less time to complete a page.

[mai]

Added pages 15 and 16

[mai]

added page 17

[mai]

Added page 18. I'll try to update again in a few days!

[That Dude]

I'm liking what I've seen so far. You've definately been blessed with artistic talent. I wish that I was as good at paneling as you are.

[Mave]

I'm loving the panels and lineart! XD I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with the issue of the inheritance.

[mai]

Thank you both!
Added pages 19 and 20

[Kaori]

It seems that I haven't commented in quite a while; I apologize.

On page sixteen, there are a few errors: there should be an apostrophe in "father's property" at the top of the letter, and the last sentence should read "enclosed" instead of "inclosed."

I really loved the density of the plants and building in the right-hand panel on page 17, and the expression on Paris's face at the bottom was also very nice. Similarly, in page 18, you do a great job with textures, like the inside of the suitcase. I also thought that the expression in the eyes in the bottom panel of this page was very well done.

In general, the plot seems clearer this time around, especially when we are allowed to read the letter that Paris is given. Page 20, with the arrival of what seems to be a new character, was a bit confusing, but presumably things will become clearer in the next few pages.

[mai]

Thanks Kaori, I'll fix the errors when I edit the chapter.
The new character, Paris' uncle, did appear rather abruptly. Maybe I'll add another page before 20.

Thank you for reading ^-^