a story (haven't thought of a name yet)

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a story (haven't thought of a name yet)

Postby nekochan » Fri Jan 02, 2004 2:08 pm

I'm working on this story and I wanted to know how the plot sounds so far give some feedback if you please ^__^

(it's set in a place that is advanced beond us like scince fiction/fantasy; something like shadow runner) A group of merchs ( people who take on jobs from others two steel something from a high up place or things like that) are given a mission to infultrait this company's headcorders retreave a chip, and give it to them. In return of corse they receve a large sum of zen (there currancy). As they are going through there mission (wich is far more dificalt then anticipated) they finally arive to where the chip is located but instead of a chip they find a girl in a large capsule with a bar code on the back of her neck(along with the numbers 10,21,13) .They dicided to forget about the mission and save this girl. with much dificulty they escape from the companys headcoders. They learn that this girl has no memories and dicide to take her in and find out more about that company and what they are doing.This results in them being hunted down by the company and the people who gave them the mission; both trying to get the girl. So the merchs try to keep the girl safe and find out her imortance to all there people.

that pretty much all I have so far! ^^;; I'm sorry that it's not the best dirscription but I just came up with this now. So tell me what you think ^^
"I've learned to use the word impossible with the greatest of cation"-chicken soup or the pet lover's soul

"China is above my ceiling and Japan is under my gulf course"-selfquote

"we love you! Angst and all that other blood! :D"-moni & sora

"Dancing moogles of justice reak havoc on your pitiful land!"

:eh: <--- it hurts to be me x.x;;

~leader of the C.M.O.(cat mafia)~
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Postby Razgriz » Fri Jan 02, 2004 2:33 pm

sounds very interesting :thumb:
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Postby Link Antilles » Fri Jan 02, 2004 2:48 pm

It does sound interesting, indeed. Good basis for a story. The plot thus far sounds a little familiar, yet so far so good! :thumb:

-my two cents
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Postby uc pseudonym » Fri Jan 02, 2004 5:19 pm

This is a good start, but I would caution you on one thing: plan what exactly this girl will mean and what her significance will be beforehand. Otherwise the story may appear stretched. Also, with the ending chosen, you can insert hints and clues all along the way.
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Postby nekochan » Fri Jan 02, 2004 11:54 pm

*bows* thank you for the complements and the advice! I'm very greatfull! =^^=
"I've learned to use the word impossible with the greatest of cation"-chicken soup or the pet lover's soul

"China is above my ceiling and Japan is under my gulf course"-selfquote

"we love you! Angst and all that other blood! :D"-moni & sora

"Dancing moogles of justice reak havoc on your pitiful land!"

:eh: <--- it hurts to be me x.x;;

~leader of the C.M.O.(cat mafia)~
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Location: a galixy far far away where cat people roam

Postby true_noir_chloe » Sun Jan 04, 2004 5:51 pm

Sounds interesting, and I love your avatar. Tokyomewmew's Ichigo, right? Also, UC gave you some great advice; although, sometimes when I write a story the ending changes a bit from when I started.^_^ A rough outline is always a good idea though.

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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