Silent Hill: Círculo do abuso (PG-13)

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Silent Hill: Círculo do abuso (PG-13)

Postby Bobtheduck » Tue Oct 18, 2005 2:46 am

Intro: Ok... This one, um, let's make this version of it PG-13... Silent Hill is an M rated series, very deservedly so, so if you're not of age, and if you're weak stomache or somewhat sensative to violence and abuse, I'd recommend not playing the games...

That being said, I would like to start by saying Silent Hill 2 is, in a way, my example of perfect game... It's sort of a tossup between Metal Gear Solid 3 and Silent Hill 2. SH1, 3, and 4 were Horror... Pure and simple. I went through a phase where I loved Horror, but what stuck with me when that phase ended was the way the story in SH2 impacted me. I also watched the movie from which the visual style for the games was derived, Jacob's Ladder Both used the horror motif to, really, be very impactful dramas.

Being influenced greatly by the way things were done in SH and in JL, I have had this story building in my head. As of now, it's simply a fanfiction for Silent Hill and Jacob's Ladder. This story keeps evolving, though, and I think the topic I am going to discuss is rather important... I mean, it is definately an imortant topic to me, but if I can address it correctly, I may just drop the Silent Hill stuff and make it a story on its own...

Ok... I will post one chapter at a time. This version will be rated as such:

Violence: Silent Hill/Jacob's Ladder like backdrop descriptions... So, there will be blood and such, as a given. As for things that aren't merely the backdrop, there will be some violence involving monsters and the four human characters.

Sex: There will be no sexual encounters in the course of the story, but abuse plays a role and will be part of narrative, mostly as an afterthought. Compared to the sources I am paying homage too, this is entirely clean.

Language: This version may have "****" and that's about it...

Thematic Elements: As I couldn't find a language on Babel fish that hid the meaning of the title well enough without changing the script to something mostly unreadable, you can tell it will be about the cycle (circle) of abuse... This is a rather difficult subject, but one that needs to be addressed on all sides.

This story is theme based rather than character based. The characters are going to come out of the message... Some may say this method of writing is a sign of an amateur writer, but this project exists in the first place for a purpose, so i hope that the Characters I form in this are believeable even if they were formed purely to get a message across.

I will post chapter one today... I have a goal. You can give a pre-comment, I guess... I will give a short prologue


Prologue

Roger looked down at his beat up Toyota pickup with disdain. He had never had so much trouble with it before, but it started to give him problems about a hundred miles back and finally quit. The fog was so thick he didn't know where to go, and he didn't seem to remember there being another town for miles.

His brother's funeral was a huge hassle. He was glad to see the old ******* die. He was a jerk to everyone he knew, and especially to Roger. At 61, Roger had taken a lot of abuse from his brother over the years, and it didn't end into adulthood and clear until the day he died. He consistantly made life miserable and ruined things for Roger, and that was over.

Well, it should have been over, but the funeral brought up all new issues. He had to show honor to his brother. It was expected in his family. This just took everything he had, because it was the biggest lie he had ever told.

Of course, the ordeal wasn't quite over. Exhausted allready from having to put up a facade of paying respects to someone he felt deserved none, this new problem that arose simply seemed like one more quick stab in the stomach. His body couldn't take much more of the stress. He'd be home soon, and it would all be over, but he just needed to get ahold of someone.

He pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number. "Come on..." he said in a gravely voice as he listened to the ringing. As he was listening, he heard a voice through the ringing. It was someone crying. He pulled the phone away from his ears to listen to figure out where the sound was coming from, but the sound disappeared with the sound of the ringing. He put the phone back up to his ear and...

Nothing. He lost the signal. "**** it," he muttered while closing the phone. "That's just great." He leaned back against the driver's side door, folding his arms in frustration. He was wearing an olive green jacket over a rather thin dress shirt, and the cold was starting to be too much to handle, so he zipped the jacket up and tucked his hands into his armpits.

He thought he'd get some rest, so he was going to sleep in the truck, but as he was clearing out the bed to prepare for the night, he heard footsteps behind him, sounding heavy like someone was carrying a large load, and the steps were just let go after a struggle. He turned to face the sound, and saw a hooded figure. It was too dark, and the fog especially was too thick to really make anything out.

"Hey! Hello?" he called out to the person. The person didn't pay any attention to him, and just walked into the fog. Looking at the man walk away, his legs falling hard to the ground in every step, Roger suddenly was overcome with a fear. He decided he'd take extra precaution in the night. He slept with his hunting knife in arms reach and locked the bed from the inside. He lied flat, hiding himself from any passerbys. He'd hopefully hear anyone trying to come inside, and be able to protect himself. He'd hopefully be able to make it through the night and make it home when the fog cleared.

END OF PROLOGUE.

Ok. There you have it. Basic SH opening. I will really really try to write Chapter 1 today... I'm a bit sick, so I will be staying home from work, and i will try to work on it during my stay home... Anyhow, I won't get better unless I get some sleep. G'night!

EDIT: Haha, that's funny... It censored it automatically. It doesn't really matter. You can figure it out. EDIT EDIT Ok. Well, I'm working on it now, but I didn't start until about 9:30, so I didn't have much time and I have to go to bed... I'll try to get chapter one in today (after I go to sleep and work) Once again, I will try but make no guarantees. After this, Expect a chapter a week maybe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs Watch this movie なう。 It's legal, free... And it's more than its premise. It's not saying Fast Food is good food. Just watch it.
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Postby Htom Sirveaux » Tue Oct 18, 2005 7:53 am

Nice! Like yourself, I am a big fan of the Silent Hill games (especially 2) and psychological horror in general. This story is definitely starting out well. Keep it up and I will keep reading.
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Postby dragonshimmer » Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:10 am

I am also a huge SH fan and am looking forward to this :) I like the prologue and it seems to fit rather well with general SH content.
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Postby Bobtheduck » Wed Oct 19, 2005 11:50 pm

Chapter 1.

Kyle walked blankly down a street he’d never seen before. He didn’t know how he got there, or why he was there, but he did know that he had been drunk. A lovely reminder of that was sitting just 20 or so yards behind him. It must have been some party.

He eventually came up to a tunnel. “County highway 73? How on earth did I come here... I don’t even know where my car is. I should probably go forwards, because towards a town will be safer that back on the road, I guess,â€
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs Watch this movie なう。 It's legal, free... And it's more than its premise. It's not saying Fast Food is good food. Just watch it.
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Postby dragonshimmer » Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:08 pm

Yay! I look forward to more. How closely is this going to follow SH2?
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Postby Bobtheduck » Fri Oct 21, 2005 11:08 am

IN that the events and monsters in the story will be symbolic of what had gone on in the people's lives, just like SH2/Jacob's Ladder, and in that everything that happens will be about... Well, there is a quality about SH2 that even Jacob's Ladder didn't touch that I will be touching with this one, but other than that, the stories aren't the same... Of course, as of now, Kyle is walking James' path, but he won't forever... Of course, if I write about new locations, they won't match up with the games, but if I write about old locations with new dark world alterations, then I can deviate from the games...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs Watch this movie なう。 It's legal, free... And it's more than its premise. It's not saying Fast Food is good food. Just watch it.
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Sorry to keep you waiting

Postby Bobtheduck » Mon Nov 07, 2005 10:01 pm

I got addicted to myspace and didn't even start on chapter 2 until yesterday... Well, I finished it over the course of 2 days, even though I'm only including Rodger's story this chapter... I don't want to do that anymore, but I just wanted to get it posted, so next time I'll try (notice I say TRY every time, I don't want to make promises, because I know if I do, something will happen to make me forget my promises) to show what's happening to more than one of them a chapter... I may choose not to do that, though, later on.

Well, I introduce 2 new monsters in this one... The total lack of dialogue is rather hard for me, because my stories normally rely a lot on dialogue. There will be much more, of course, in Kyle and Miriam's story because, well, there are two of them (dialogue requiring at least two people, and monologues being rather boring and cliché in my opinion... Better to figure out what he's thinking through his actions and other descriptions than having him verbalize his thoughts all the time)

I will not have the next chapter for a little while for sure, because I need to start packing... But, I guarantee next time I also won't release it until I've had more time to look it over and change what I don't like...

Anyhow, I am once again not satisfied with my finished product, partly because I don't have SH2 handy (and a savefile in the hotel to have some visual referrence, even though it may look different to Rodger than it did to James) and partly because I'm still sorta new to the fanfiction thing, so I am finding it harder than writing from scratch, though this is much more scratch than normal fanfiction... Anhow, here it is:
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs Watch this movie なう。 It's legal, free... And it's more than its premise. It's not saying Fast Food is good food. Just watch it.
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Postby Htom Sirveaux » Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:16 am

Oooh. Good stuff. Keep it up Bob, you're doing fine.
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Postby kryptech » Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:55 am

Creepy stuff Bob... I also like psychological horror and will be following this. I don't have time to make many comments now, but perhaps later (if you want comments at all).
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Postby Rocketshipper » Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:21 pm

I really like this fanfic ^_^. I anticipate reading more!! Silent Hill 2 is definetly my favorite game in the series. I wrote an SH2 fic, but it got deleted when I posted it here :(.
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Postby Bobtheduck » Wed Nov 09, 2005 7:20 pm

Got deleted? That's strange... Maybe it was too descriptive or you didn't put a warning on it... I've gotta be carefull about that too...

EDIT: I may put this somewhere like fanfiction.net, this'll be the first time I've ever used it...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs Watch this movie なう。 It's legal, free... And it's more than its premise. It's not saying Fast Food is good food. Just watch it.
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Postby Bobtheduck » Thu Dec 15, 2005 3:11 pm

Ok... I read over the first two chapters again, and realized I never gave a description of what Kyle was wearing... Well, he's wearing Blue Jeans and a Blue rainjacket...

I'm glad that people think this is ok... I'm finding it much harder to write fanfiction than to write a story entirely out of my imagination... Still, here we go.

I guess nothing really happens with Kyle and Miriam in this chapter... I really want to establish all of their characters, but even that doesn't really happen here... We see a small glimpse of Kyle and Miraim, and almost nothing of Rodger... Hope this is to everyone's liking, though... Everyone who reads this, I mean.

Oh, and anyone who reads this should subscribe to it... That's probably the only way you'll know if I've posted another chapter...
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs Watch this movie なう。 It's legal, free... And it's more than its premise. It's not saying Fast Food is good food. Just watch it.
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Postby kryptech » Fri Dec 16, 2005 10:29 am

Yep, I've subscribed. And thanks for your message.

I've read chapter 3 now. The transformation of the town (like rooms changing size, walls becoming stained, etc) sounds Silent Hill-ish to me, though I've only seen two of the games.

Things are a little confusing, but I guess that is part of the story since the characters have entered a confused place, a place where bizzare happenings distort reality.

The part where Rodger is stuck when climbing the ladder and then the child comes down head first - freaky! Perhaps that scene could have been drawn out a little more in order to make it more disturbing, but I'm not sure what feeling you had in mind.

It's coming along - I'll look out for chapter 4.
"Everybody's weird in their own special way." - P.V.
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"The UAC is making safer worlds through superior firepower." - Doom 3
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Postby Bobtheduck » Fri Dec 16, 2005 2:36 pm

kryptech wrote:Yep, I've subscribed. And thanks for your message.

I've read chapter 3 now. The transformation of the town (like rooms changing size, walls becoming stained, etc) sounds Silent Hill-ish to me, though I've only seen two of the games.

Things are a little confusing, but I guess that is part of the story since the characters have entered a confused place, a place where bizzare happenings distort reality.

The part where Rodger is stuck when climbing the ladder and then the child comes down head first - freaky! Perhaps that scene could have been drawn out a little more in order to make it more disturbing, but I'm not sure what feeling you had in mind.

It's coming along - I'll look out for chapter 4.


Sweet! I welcome all comments. Think of this as my first run. I'll use my feedback to decide how I fix it for its final run, maybe? Hmm... I don't know how far I'm gonna take it, but at least I'll know what to watch out for in future installments.

The mosters in the games were placed that way to make the action portions of the games. I don't know if that really translates into written form, but I would at least like one nod to that... I just gotta figure out when a good place to put it would be... Also, I still haven't figured out a couple other monsters... I wonder if I should have dogs, hehe... (I always hated dogs in these games, or doglike creatures... 1, 3, and 4 had them... That may be another reason why I loved 2 the best...)

Of course, there has been a reason for everything that happened so far, but it's also developing as I write it... I have a spiderweb frame (I often make up terms when I don't know what to call something) and I'm just filling it in... What ends up happening is that sometimes I'm surprised with what I'm going to write immediately before I write it...

As for the transformation of the town... It's very hard to think of ways to describe it, if I'm going off of SH3 environments (which I liked the best of the games) they get pretty crazy... The hell look, as I call it, always amazed me, as did the festering walls in the sunday school... I'm not sure how well I could describe those sorts of things, particularly ones we haven't seen... It just seems so boring to say "Oh, there was blood on the walls..." Of course, even in SH3, the crazier environments came later... I'm gonna have to think of something creative, and something that fits... Anyhow...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs Watch this movie なう。 It's legal, free... And it's more than its premise. It's not saying Fast Food is good food. Just watch it.
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