Lawn Gnomes, A Cautionary Tale

[Dunedan]

This is only an excerpt from the first chapter... I'll post more if someone will be my fan.


LAWN GNOMES, A CAUTIONARY TALE
CHAPTER ONE: THE WINDOW TO THE SOUTH

The clock ticked and tocked, tocked and ticked, ticked and rotated, rotated and told the tale of time passing, like a Ray Bradbury novel.
I watched a candle pass by my window, not noticing for a second how strange that was. It came by a second time, and as that elicited a response from me, I rose and stood by my window, looking out.
Again, I was not surprised when I saw a surprising creature outside. It was furry, or so it seemed, wearing a bright blue tunic, a red hat, and green trousers. It was occupied in scurrying back and forth with a lit candelabrum, muttering softly and coarsely to itself, “Confound that Smitherplum, where did he put it?â€

[uc pseudonym]

That's funny, in a trippy fashion. Pray tell, what was your intention when you began writing this story? I presume that you have a fair amount of it done, but posted only this portion to test the waters, so to speak.

[Esoteric]

That is most hilarious, in a twisted way! Especially loved the shouting match in the rain. Great stuff!

[Dunedan]

It does have a trippy feel. The rest of the rough draft is written, and here is the link to the full text: http://www.xanga.com/andthefireburnedlow


The method of the whole story is a kind of flow of consciousness mix of my boring life and the weird things that amuse me. I wrote it thinking entirely of amusing myself; if it amuses anyone else, so much the better.

[mastersquirrel]

Oh dear, this was so funny to read. I didn't read the full rough draft yet, just the excerpt you put on here.

Oh man that was hilarious! I love how you just put all that ridiculous stuff in there as if it were nothing. It's just great! I'll definitely end up reading this when I get the time.

EDIT: I started reading the full thing... and I couldn't stop. Dude, what you've written here is amazing. I mean, truly amazing. I love how it flows, with it's nonsensical humor and tidbits of wisdom strewn throughout it. And then the ending... oh the ending was so awesome.

Dunedan, this has to be one of the coolest stories I've ever read.

[CreatureArt]

Very, very cool. There are a lot of awesome funny lines in there, like: “Dang it!â€

[oro!]

Now I know you must be bored, but boredom seldom makes anything less than funny. So quircky, it's entertaining

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

That was awesome! Very funny, original and well written. Great stuff! God gave you a lot of talent! This is one of the best short stories I've ever read!
God Bless!

[Hitokiri]

I still find this line funny "New acquaintances that you have never met are extremely hard to distinguish from one another.". Another creed for me to live by

[Kawaiikneko]

Oh what you've posted here has got me curious. I'll definitely have to check out the full rough draft~

[Dunedan]

Well, I was planning to do this in the future, but I think I'm going to write a sequel to the original, to be included with it as one book, including an interlude and pro/para/epi-logues. the interludeis written, but sadly not typed. It is very different from the rest of the book, so when I do put it up try to understand in a way. I'm still not sure what form part II will take on but be assured, it will still be random and deep.

[Hitokiri]

Oh what you've posted here has got me curious. I'll definitely have to check out the full rough draft~

It's a fine pieice of random yet thoughtful humor.

[TurkishMonky]

Yay!!! i found it!! Now i shall be your fan *begins sequence of maniacal laughter* anywho, it it awesomely eccentric and cool (at least what i've read so far...i'm still reading...)
great job!

EDIT: i finished reading it. it is excelent!

[Kawaiikneko]

I finally got around to reading the full thing. I really loved it and I left a comment on your xanga ^^