self reflection

[Sammy Boy]

Hi guys,

Technically I know I am not a new member, and I don't know why I am talking about myself .. I guess you could say I just felt the need to.

I had dinner with some friends tonight. A friend's friend, whom I met for the first time, started talking with me. From talking with him, I felt that we were quite different.

I am not career-minded like him. A job is something that keeps me alive. Please don't get me wrong, I don't hate my job at all, and being made redundant twice before, I really thank God I have a job.

But a job just isn't something I feel I am "living for". I don't mean to say that he has nothing else besides his job in life, but I think he loves the sense of "career" more than I do. And I am judging him, just that we're different.

Anyway, the conversation with him and other friends later got around to "good places to eat". By good, they were talking about expensive places. I do enjoy eating like them, but I don't know of many expensive places to eat, because I don't prefer to spend a lot of money for eating.

As I did not contribute to much of the conversation, I became silent and started to think about my lifestyle. Sometimes I do this, not on purpose, but it just happens.

I felt sad that there were many people in other parts of the world without enough food to eat, and here we were talking / listening about meals that cost 80 dollars per person.

As of this morning, I had sent a letter and gift to my sponsored child. I was happy, because I know that he will be happy to receive my letter and gift. But after dinner tonight with friends, it kind of changed my mood.

Do you sometimes feel you could be doing more? Sometimes I feel being a Christian is much more than what I am doing now...

I can't explain why I feel this way. I was tired after I had dinner and went home and decided to listen to some music, so I put on Michael Buble's CD and was thinking to the song "home". Maybe it was because I was tired and the music soothed me, but I again felt sad, so sad that tears welled up in my eyes.

I prayed to Jesus Christ then, and asked that He help me to remember why I am here. I asked Him to help me remember to help those less fortunate than me. I know I am selfish, and also lack patience, especially towards people that I should really have much more patience towards. Maybe this is why I felt sad ... because I was not doing the things I ought to do, or being the kind of person I ought to be.

I felt comforted by Him after I prayed. Sometimes I wish I could hug Him. I really hope I will love Him more.

Thank you for listening / reading.

[Yokuo]

All I can say is, do what you can do, and leave the rest to Him. Do keep those people in your prayers, though. I know I will.

[teen4truth]

Yes, there is so much more we can do. As for me, I only do stuff such as pray for and try to help people when God tells me too, but half the time I dont ask him what I need to be doing or anything I just do my own thing and leave my obligations behind, so I would probably be doing a lot more then I am V.V Anyways, I will definately pray for you. Perhaps He is trying to get your attention or something? Whatever you do, DONT GIVE UP UNTIL YOU FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT GOD WANTS YOU TO THINK ABOUT THIS WHOLE SITUATION. 'MEDITATING' MAY SEEM HARD, BUT LIFE WILL BE HARDER IF YOU DON'T.