My story, don't know what to call it.

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Postby Photosoph » Thu Aug 18, 2005 2:20 pm

[Quote=Sora]The ship had reached the town early that morning, <<Either that or 'the ship reached town early the next morning'>> and the crew had replenished the supplies needed. Spike told Blade to stay with Brandon while she, Teressa, Zell and Audrey took care of some business. She told the rest of the crew to do as they pleased.
Blade had suggested going into town to shop. Brandon had greatly accepted, wanting to explore the new town. Blade and Brandon walked around the town they stopped at. <<Just a tip; you've used town a few times, so if you want to change that, that could be cool.>>

Brandon’s eyes were the size of plates looking at all the new stuff. Blade poked fun at him saying that he looked like a boy who just saw the presents on Christmas morning. Brandon looked around at the booths. People sold all kind of stuff, from fruits, to jewelry. People walked about shopping and trading.

Blade and Brandon walked by one of the booths that was selling fruit. The vender was talking to someone. Blade walked by and swiped one of the fruits and stared to eat it. Brandon saw this.
“Blade you just stole that!â€
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

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Postby SorasOathkeeper » Thu Aug 18, 2005 3:12 pm

[quote="Photosoph"]Wow -you've written a lot! Great work, Soras! I like the friction... it's more of the great character development that's throughout your story. ^_^ It really impresses me how you've got so many interesting personalities in your story]
Wow, that you so much. You don't know how happy it makes me to hear that. Like i've stated before i'm not the best speller and writer, so hearing somthing like that just makes me so happy. Thank you so much!

I auctly have a lot more typed out then I auctly post, I just like to post a little at a time. I auctly have the rest of this cnapter typed out and i'm starting on the 6th one.

Spike hit the wall of a building.
“Darn it!â€
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Postby LostChild » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:42 pm

Photosoph wrote:Do you like it better if I post any changes I make in the format above, like Lost does? I thought it might be a more straight-forward method.

Aww… aren’t you so kind! :D

Here I am trying to catch up… the last thing I read was……. Molly! Whoa, I remembered something! Write that down! “The Day LostChild Remembered Something! 08-17-05â€
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Postby LostChild » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:43 pm

[quote="SorasOathkeeper"]
“Board their ship!â€
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Postby LostChild » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:44 pm

[quote="SorasOathkeeper"]
Spike smiled. “Guess it’s my turn to join the battle.â€
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Postby LostChild » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:44 pm

[quote="SorasOathkeeper"]“…..â€
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Postby LostChild » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:46 pm

[quote="SorasOathkeeper"]Brandon came out of the cabin and onto the deck. Blade looked up from his chair.

“Hey!â€
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Postby SorasOathkeeper » Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:12 pm

LostChild wrote:[KIK! sorry Sora, but there's NO way you're living that one down!]

Living what down?
LostChild wrote:[DEPP! yes, pearls are shiny, but not worth tempting to bring out Brandon's, supposedly, Dark Side. Hmm… never knew he had one. *shrugs* ya learn something new every day!]

He has a dark side?

Brandon and Blade sat in a tavern. They had ordered food and were now waiting for it to come out. Brandon looked at blade.
“Hey, I was wondering, why was it yesterday, when Molly came you were the one talking to her and not Spike? She’s the caption; I’d thought she’d be the one to talk.â€
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Postby LostChild » Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:00 pm

[quote="SorasOathkeeper"]Living what down?[/QOUTE] well... you're the creator of "KIK." ^ ^

[quote="SorasOathkeeper"]He has a dark side?[/QOUTE]

*shrugs* seemed like it.

[quote="SorasOathkeeper"] Brandon and Blade sat in a tavern. They had ordered food and were now waiting for it to come out. Brandon looked at Blade.

“Hey, I was wondering, why was it yesterday, when Molly came, you were the one talking to her and not Spike? She’s the captan]r[/B] identities. Female captans don’t show up much, and when they do they most of the time work for the Law ships. So people would know. It’s just easier if I talk at the captan. Most of the time we don’t get bothered too much. And besides, we don’t want anyone to know that the captan is the Spike from the old stories.â€
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Postby SorasOathkeeper » Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:08 pm

Blade looked up and smiled. Brandon felt something hit the back of his head; he turned around, Audrey walked by him. Apparently she smacked him upside the head in order to say hi. Behind her were Zell, Spike and Teressa. They took chairs and sat at Blade’s and Brandon’s table. *Zell took a chair from underneath someone* Blade smiled at them.
“Any luck?â€
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Postby LostChild » Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:51 pm

[quote="SorasOathkeeper"]Blade looked up and smiled. Brandon felt something hit the back of his head]. [/B] Audrey walked by him. Apparently she smacked him upside the head in order to say hi. Behind her were Zell, Spike and Teressa. They took chairs and sat at Blade’s and Brandon’s table. *Zell took a chair from underneath someone* Blade smiled at them.

“Any luck?â€
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Postby Photosoph » Sat Aug 20, 2005 6:09 pm

Of COURSE!!! That’s what I’m here for, right? The next best thing I’m good at is turning oxygen into carbon-dioxide, and collecting dust in the corner.

:grin: :lol: Rofl! Rofl!

Don't worry; I suppose it's cool to have more than one person editing. ^_^

Yeah, I thought this would be really cool as a manga -maybe you've mentioned something about that before, but I forget. :sweat: I do remember that you posted the pic of the cast members, though, and so I wondered if you were going to do a manga... and it's cool to know that you're thinking about it! (Or at least Lost is ^_^).

Argh! You got there before me! *Grins*! But maybe I'll get this one before you. ^_^

[quote]Blade looked up and smiled. Brandon felt something hit the back of his head; he turned around, and Audrey walked by him. Apparently she smacked him upside the head in order to say hi. Behind her were Zell, Spike and Teressa. They took chairs and sat at Blade <<you don't need the 's on the first name, just the second>> and Brandon’s table. *Zell took a chair from underneath someone* <<*Grins.*.. Blade smiled at them.
“Any luck?â€
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

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Postby LostChild » Sat Aug 20, 2005 8:40 pm

you'd be surprised... actually, i didn't lose any sleep at all! it was last night that i only got 2 hours worth of sleep. i closed yesterday, and opened this morning. sounds great, don't it? :sweat:

so, sora... when do we get more?
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Postby SorasOathkeeper » Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:12 pm

How bout now?

Brandon walked down the streets towards the ship. He rubbed the end of his arm with his hand. Brandon shuddered, seeing that man there; he couldn’t stand hearing his voice again.
Brandon shook his head.
“HEY!â€
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Postby LostChild » Sun Aug 21, 2005 3:53 pm

SorasOathkeeper wrote:How bout now?


YAY! :jump:

[quote="SorasOathkeeper"]Brandon walked down the streets towards the ship. He rubbed the end of his arm with his hand. Brandon shuddered, seeing that man there]He [/B] [?]shook his head.

“HEY!â€
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Postby Photosoph » Sun Aug 21, 2005 6:21 pm

How bout now?
Such a snappy reply! Such a snappy continuation of the story. I second Lost's YAY! :jump:

Yup, I reckon changing 'Brandon shook his head' to 'He shook his head' is good.

[quote]“Shopping or stealing?â€
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

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Postby SorasOathkeeper » Sun Aug 21, 2005 6:58 pm

Spike pushed the man against the wall.
“TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW!â€
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Postby Photosoph » Sun Aug 21, 2005 7:51 pm

[Quote=SorasOathKeeper]Spike pushed the man against the wall.
“TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW!â€
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

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Postby LostChild » Sun Aug 21, 2005 8:07 pm

[quote="SorasOathkeeper"]Spike pushed the man against the wall.
“TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW!â€
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Postby SorasOathkeeper » Mon Aug 22, 2005 10:49 am

Can't tell yet. They havn't truly changed color, they've just flickered.


Brandon walked on board the ship. The sun was setting in the distance. Brandon sighed tiredly he had been walking all day in the heat “shoppingâ€
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Postby Photosoph » Mon Aug 22, 2005 2:33 pm

[quote]

Brandon walked on board the ship. The sun was setting in the distance. Brandon sighed tiredly; he had been walking all day in the heat “shoppingâ€
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

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Postby SorasOathkeeper » Wed Aug 24, 2005 11:50 am

Tori Omake *Tori bonus*

The bird’s last song

Tori was one of the crew left behind as Spike and the others went for the information. She could do anything she wanted till they were ready to leave. She decided to do something new and sleep on her stomach, it took about a minute and a half for her to relies she didn’t like it and went back to her normal position. She was just to the point of sleeping when she heard a noise. She opened one eye and looked up. At the top of the mast, right above were the flag was suppose to be was a tiny bird. Tori smiled at the bird, it was one she had never seen. She suspected it to be native to the Island they were docked at.

The bird looked around and chirped, it then stopped and began to tweet a little song. Tori smiled and sat up watching it. She rocked back and forth to the song. She smiled and looked at the bird. She noticed something in the sky flying towards them. It got closer and Tori saw it was another bird. The bird swooped down and grabbed the little bird and carried it off. Tori stared blankly at where the little bird once was.

“NOOOOOO BIRDY!!!!!â€
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Postby Photosoph » Wed Aug 24, 2005 3:07 pm

[quote]
The bird’s last song

Tori was one of the crew left behind as Spike and the others went for the information. She could do anything she wanted till they were ready to leave. She decided to do something new and sleep on her stomach, it took about a minute and a half for her to realise she didn’t like it and went back to her normal position. She was just to the point of sleeping when she heard a noise. She opened one eye and looked up. At the top of the mast, right above where the flag was suppose to be was a tiny bird. Tori smiled at the bird, it was one she had never seen. She suspected it to be native to the Island they were docked at.

The bird looked around and chirped, it then stopped and began to tweet a little song. Tori smiled and sat up watching it. She rocked back and forth to the song. She smiled and looked at the bird. She noticed something in the sky flying towards them. It got closer and Tori saw it was another bird. The bird swooped down and grabbed the little bird and carried it off. Tori stared blankly at where the little bird once was.

“NOOOOOO BIRDY!!!!!â€
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

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Postby SorasOathkeeper » Sat Aug 27, 2005 11:10 am

Yes the book ending was great. *except for Ben Gunn (sp?)*
And wow, a dream about this! Thats too cool!^^


Chapter 6

“And that covers the cost for the food.â€
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Postby LostChild » Sat Aug 27, 2005 11:20 am

[quote="SorasOathkeeper"]Yes the book ending was great. *except for Ben Gunn (sp?)*
And wow, a dream about this! Thats too cool!^^


Chapter 6

“And that covers the cost for the food.â€
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Postby Photosoph » Sat Aug 27, 2005 3:17 pm

Well, I just copied Lost's bit and added a few suggestions of my own. :grin: I'm so sneaky! ;)

[quote]Chapter 6

“And that covers the cost for the food.â€
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

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Postby LostChild » Sat Aug 27, 2005 10:22 pm

:eh: cheese?
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Postby Photosoph » Sun Aug 28, 2005 5:07 pm

In Treasure Island, Ben Gunn has been marooned on the island for years, eating goats and basically what he could find. When he meets Jim he tells him that he definitely hasn't had a 'christian diet' (well, considering the book was written a while ago, think of that as an 'English diet', and asks if he might, perchance, have some cheese, or something like that. I'm pretty sure he longed for cheese.
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

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Postby SorasOathkeeper » Mon Aug 29, 2005 10:26 am

Blade walked out of Spike’s room. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked over at the side of the ship. Xzander was standing there looking over the side. Blade walked up next to him and leaned on the side.
“Hey little buddy what’s up?â€
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Postby Photosoph » Mon Aug 29, 2005 3:58 pm

[quote]Blade walked out of Spike’s room. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked over at the side of the ship. Xzander was standing there looking <<'out over the water', perhaps? Again, just to avoid repeating several words in sentences which are close together. :) >>. Blade walked up next to him and leaned on the side.
“Hey little buddy what’s up?â€
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

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