Okay, well I was at my summer SAT classes sorta, for English, and was practicing essays. And the topic was "Ryan's yesterday"... and i decided to be creative as well... instead of going "oh i woke up, played videogames, blah blaaahh blaaaaaaaahhhh" I went for something a little bit like... Like Monster (my favorite anime show lol)
See if you can point out other references, including half-life 2 and the matrix
i hope you enjoy, it has a "psychological suspensful thriller" sorta mood to it...
and it also may seem so instant at first, but if I plan to, ill continue it, which includes about what happens before this event
enjoy ^^
June 9th, 11:27 AM: He got up from a nightmare, every detail of which, however, was forgotten. His hands were stained with blood; his sheets were stained too. “What the heck* happened?â€
Each Other
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Dang computer chewed my reply! :crash: Argh!
Anyway... the gist of what I was going to post was that:
1)I really like the way you do the dialogue -it adds to the story really well instead of detracting from it. ^_^
2)Hmm... I might have a vague idea of what's going on, although I'm not 100% sure, and I definitely don't know how it got to this scene.
3)It'd be cool if you posted more. This is definitely one intriguing beginning.
4)Very cool writing style. Just the way you form sentences, etc. I would've suggested a couple of different comma etc placements, but I realise that that's just because the way I write I try to sound like how I speak, etc... and if your story started sounding like I was speaking it, that would be weird. o_O
And I just thought of something else I'd like to add: your creativity is admirable. I like the way you turned 'Ryan's yesterday' into this. ...Btw, did you do this in class, or did you just do this at home while you were studying?
Anyway... the gist of what I was going to post was that:
1)I really like the way you do the dialogue -it adds to the story really well instead of detracting from it. ^_^
2)Hmm... I might have a vague idea of what's going on, although I'm not 100% sure, and I definitely don't know how it got to this scene.
3)It'd be cool if you posted more. This is definitely one intriguing beginning.
4)Very cool writing style. Just the way you form sentences, etc. I would've suggested a couple of different comma etc placements, but I realise that that's just because the way I write I try to sound like how I speak, etc... and if your story started sounding like I was speaking it, that would be weird. o_O
And I just thought of something else I'd like to add: your creativity is admirable. I like the way you turned 'Ryan's yesterday' into this. ...Btw, did you do this in class, or did you just do this at home while you were studying?
(0)>
((_\//
mm
[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times.
((_\//
mm
[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD
\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times.
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Photosoph - Posts: 1528
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Mr. SmartyPants - Posts: 12541
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I like it, the similarities to the Matrix can be seen. As well as possible Dark City influences? Anyway, I thought it was interesting and well done and we need to see more!
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Warrior 4 Jesus - Posts: 4844
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Mr. SmartyPants - Posts: 12541
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Awsomness! The writer within ryan is Released!!!
DO YOU FLY FOR FUN?!
I give props to these ANIMEs/MANGAs: GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES, AZUMANGA DAIOH, MONSTER, SAILOR MOON SERIES, AKAGE NO ANNE, BOTTLE FAIRY, MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO, HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE, PARANOIA AGENT, YAKITATE!! JAPAN, UTAWARERUMONO, KANON, FULL MOON WO SAGASHITE, & YOTSUBA&!
LINKSQUEST's PASSIONS are: READING (especially books by authors: Lois Lowry, L.M. Montgomery, Ray Bradbury, C.S. Lewis) WRITING, SINGING, ACTING, COMPOSING, PIANO, PHOTOGRAPHY, ART, COOKING, MYST series, ZELDA series,OLD TIME RADIO , New Time Radio, SPANISH, LANGUAGES, and the list goes on.
Unlucky Secret Bump Thread Member #13
"WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT ENERGY BILLS!"
I give props to these ANIMEs/MANGAs: GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES, AZUMANGA DAIOH, MONSTER, SAILOR MOON SERIES, AKAGE NO ANNE, BOTTLE FAIRY, MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO, HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE, PARANOIA AGENT, YAKITATE!! JAPAN, UTAWARERUMONO, KANON, FULL MOON WO SAGASHITE, & YOTSUBA&!
LINKSQUEST's PASSIONS are: READING (especially books by authors: Lois Lowry, L.M. Montgomery, Ray Bradbury, C.S. Lewis) WRITING, SINGING, ACTING, COMPOSING, PIANO, PHOTOGRAPHY, ART, COOKING, MYST series, ZELDA series,OLD TIME RADIO , New Time Radio, SPANISH, LANGUAGES, and the list goes on.
Unlucky Secret Bump Thread Member #13
"WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT ENERGY BILLS!"
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Linksquest - Posts: 1859
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