This was something I woke between naps today...really meant to sit down and scribble it for quite some time, but today was my first chance. Ok, comments appriciated, like always:
Daniel McAlister was well aware of the fact he was feeding the stereotypical lawyer image: leaning back in his comfortable, cushioned chair behind a stack of paperwork as tall as his thin frame, balancing a pen on his upper lip.
A Christian lawyer—“non sequitur termsâ€
Poetic Justice: A short story of three vignettes
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Ashley - Posts: 7364
- Joined: Mon May 26, 2003 10:00 am
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
I like this^_^. There is going to be more, right?
"Why do people not notice until they lose it?
What it is that's truly important...
Although I can't afford to forgive even myself,
Because you were there,
I was able to be myself (Natural).
I want to be honest...I want to be kind...
I want to be the adult I once (in my childhood) longed to be.
I go on fighting against the heart to run away...
I go on fighting against that invisible something!"---
True Navigation: Two MIX
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Mimichan - Posts: 241
- Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 4:00 am
- Location: Somewhere between here and there
Sorry, I didn't realize what a 'vignette' was. I really need to brush up my vocabulary! Well then...good story! I liked it^_^
"Why do people not notice until they lose it?
What it is that's truly important...
Although I can't afford to forgive even myself,
Because you were there,
I was able to be myself (Natural).
I want to be honest...I want to be kind...
I want to be the adult I once (in my childhood) longed to be.
I go on fighting against the heart to run away...
I go on fighting against that invisible something!"---
True Navigation: Two MIX
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Mimichan - Posts: 241
- Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 4:00 am
- Location: Somewhere between here and there
Nicely done, Ashley. This vignette is a rather telling allegory for someone in the Christian walk of life, at least to me. :2)
<>< DanekJovax :2) ><>
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DanekJovax - Posts: 345
- Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2003 7:52 pm
- Location: Richmond, KY
Who's Tracer Bullet? Just curious. I don't think I understand vignettes. 
Your dialogue rotates around the action well - you give your characters movement. It's not stiff, like mannequins communicating with one another, and that's good.
Your dialogue rotates around the action well - you give your characters movement. It's not stiff, like mannequins communicating with one another, and that's good.[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE
You see into the deepest part of me ---
beyond the fog I hide behind.
You cast your light upon the shadows
that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.
You ease the pain when I am hurting,
and morbid visions from my past
pierce into the realm of Reason
as though I danced on blades of glass.
You grant me strength when I have fallen
and, once again, I've lost my way.
You take my hand in Yours and lead me
into the promise of a brand new day.
You bring order to all my chaos,
yet set my well-laid plans awry.
You place me on a firm foundation ---
then give me wings so I can fly.
You sand away my roughened edges
and polish all the dullest parts
until I stand before Your presence...
a newly-sculpted work of art.
You see into the heart within me,
right through my motives and selfish will.
And yet, in spite of all You see
You say You love me even still.
~by D.M.~
[/color][/size]
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true_noir_chloe - Posts: 3091
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^
Thanks! Dialogue/action has taken a long time for me to try to get down...glad itseems to work now.
Tracer Bullet was an obscure reference to the film noir detective spoof Bill Waterson made in his comic Calvin and Hobbes.
I'm actually thinking about using this piece for an english assignment I just got today. What'dya think?
Tracer Bullet was an obscure reference to the film noir detective spoof Bill Waterson made in his comic Calvin and Hobbes.
I'm actually thinking about using this piece for an english assignment I just got today. What'dya think?
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Ashley - Posts: 7364
- Joined: Mon May 26, 2003 10:00 am
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
If they don't mind if you only write a middle and no beginning and an end. That's partly why I think I didn't understand the vignette thing.
[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE
You see into the deepest part of me ---
beyond the fog I hide behind.
You cast your light upon the shadows
that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.
You ease the pain when I am hurting,
and morbid visions from my past
pierce into the realm of Reason
as though I danced on blades of glass.
You grant me strength when I have fallen
and, once again, I've lost my way.
You take my hand in Yours and lead me
into the promise of a brand new day.
You bring order to all my chaos,
yet set my well-laid plans awry.
You place me on a firm foundation ---
then give me wings so I can fly.
You sand away my roughened edges
and polish all the dullest parts
until I stand before Your presence...
a newly-sculpted work of art.
You see into the heart within me,
right through my motives and selfish will.
And yet, in spite of all You see
You say You love me even still.
~by D.M.~
[/color][/size]
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true_noir_chloe - Posts: 3091
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^
It is unfortunate I somehow missed this thread until now. I don't really do vignettes, but I have quite a bit of appreciation for the artform. This is well done. Perhaps some of that has to do with my own personal beliefs, and the story rings very true for me. Excellant.
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uc pseudonym - Posts: 15506
- Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
- Location: Tanzania
It was actually based on a real event here in Houston. The article was true; there was a crime lab down here that was shut down because some of the forensic scientists did not have enough college credit--and I'm talking basic stuff like chemistry or comp I--so their degrees were revoked. Caused a lot of turmoil down here. Glad you liked it.
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Ashley - Posts: 7364
- Joined: Mon May 26, 2003 10:00 am
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
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