Era [Naruto Fanfiction]

[uc pseudonym]

Regarding the image: ironically, the image of the item has changed, and now the kunai is the lower item.

Would it be possible for you to let us know in advance when you are planning on updating? I, for one, would find it helpful for the sake of planning how to manage my time, since it does take a significant length of time to read through one of these chapters.

It was with this in mind that I did not update yesterday. My general intention is to update every Monday (the 24th of this month being an exception due to various circumstances) between 8:00 and 10:00 AM Central Time.

[uc pseudonym]

Note that chapter three is now up at Fanfiction.net. The url is: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2203094/1/

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Chapter Four: Clarification

Putting both hands behind his head, Naruto grinned even broader. This grin did not dissipate when Ino and Sakura stared at him with slack jaws or when his hat fell off the back of his head. Despite herself, Hinata almost giggled.

“What are you doing here?â€

[uc pseudonym]

Opposite the row of beds Sasuke was against the wall, probably waiting for them to wake up. Sakura and Ino were both sitting up in bed, having apparently just observed his presence. Partially masked by his collar, Sasuke’s expression seemed to be a cross between vaguely amused and partially disgusted. Briefly his eyes flickered to Hinata, a mere acknowledgement that she was awake.

Despite getting up second, Ino was the first to attempt to glomp Sasuke. He evaded the effort gracefully, seeming to glide toward the balcony as if he had been intending to do so all along. Sakura was on her feet an instant after, and she and Ino were glaring at each other. Both seemed more focused on keeping the other away from Sasuke than following him.

Nervously Hinata pushed aside the sheets on her bed and stepped out. She refitted her shuriken and kunai cases as quickly as possible and tightened them. Other than that she had taken to sleeping in her uniform, just in case they were attacked during the night. Ino and Sakura hadn’t made much progress against each other.

“It’s great to see you here!â€

[Anna Mae]

The excellence of your work leaves me speechless, as usual.

[mastersquirrel]

Interesting, not much happened but there are certainly more questions about what's going on. And, of course, the patented UC cliffhanger. I actually like cliffhangers, just not the long wait to see what happens next.

[uc pseudonym]

Well, there is a provision for improving the time of updates. This time, however, it is a rare thing indeed, which is more what I intended. If you could find five people that could regularly review, however, that wait would be eliminated.

[uc pseudonym]

It will be interesting to see how this chapter changes the general opinion of Sasuke, though I am primarily interested in the responses of two specific individuals. This chapter should tell you a few things, some subtle and some far from it.

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Chapter Five: Relentless

At the instant Sasuke’s signal was given, everyone moved. It seemed even that their opponents moved when he commanded. Overhead, there was a violent rasp of metal and a surge of dangerous chakra.

Something was whistling toward the coach. With no particular instructions, Hinata merely broke open the nearest door and leapt to the back. Her last sight of the inside of the coach was Sakura breaking through the wall, Ino snapped back to her body and leaping to the side and Sasuke blurring out of existence.

Spinning in midair, Sasuke grabbed the edge of the open door and flipped himself up to the top. Behind him, metallic spikes stabbed through the inside of the coach, ripping apart the cushions easily. He landed at the front end of the coach and remained standing there, the speed-generated wind whipping his clothing around him violently. Hinata had escaped the attack, Sakura was guiding the coach and Ino was with her. With his team safe, Sasuke turned slightly to look to the back of the coach.

“I take it you’re the newest assassin,â€

[uc pseudonym]

It was very different now: one of the doors destroyed, an entire wall gone. Sakura was holding the reigns to the furry beasts, which were trundling on, having apparently noticed nothing. Ino was beside her, whining about something. Sasuke sat on the back bench, his arms out to either side of him. Fidgeting slightly for a moment, Hinata sat on one end of the partially destroyed bench and waited.

“Turn left at the next path,â€

[Anna Mae]

UC, you are such a wierdo.

[Kaori]

It appears, in retrospect, that I have not posted anything truly worthwhile in this thread for quite some time, for which I apologize.

What is a senbon? I attempted to look it up, but my own Japanese-English dictionary does not have an entry for this word.

It will be interesting to see how this chapter changes the general opinion of Sasuke

In regard to the characterization of Sasuke, I found it very plausible. The blunt negativity of the phrase “It makes me sickâ€

[uc pseudonym]

What is a senbon?

Very likely an inaccuracy. What I remember and intended is that a senbon is a needle usable for fighting (Haku uses these). The assassin uses a much larger version.

In regard to the characterization of Sasuke, I found it very plausible.

Good]Now, I have noticed from chapter 1 that you use, to a high degree, the method of inserting a character’s thoughts into the narrative itself as a way of allowing the reader to see the point of view of that character. While I do not necessarily dislike the technique, it is not one that I am terribly fond of, either. The reason I mention this is that it is a tribute to your ability as a writer that you can take a technique for which I have no particular love and use it in a way that interests me so strongly.[/quote]

Purely out of curiosity, what technique, if any, do you prefer?

Directly inserting character thoughts is my preferred method of writing, as I feel it breaks the narrative the least of the available methods. Use of italics seems out of place to me and sometimes requires "he/she thought," which slows the story.

I am very curious at this point to see what you will do with the characterizations of Hinata and Sasuke in future chapters.

Thank you; this was one of my primary goals in writing this story. If you send me a PM regarding grammar (or even if you do not), I would appreciate if you gave me your thoughts as to the future movement of the plot in that manner. Of course, I do not request this; I myself do not like to give predictions regarding any storyline, so I will understand if you have no wish to do this.

[Kaori]

Purely out of curiosity, what technique, if any, do you prefer?

In the past, I have sometimes used a technique fairly similar to yours. Recently, however, I have begun to favor a more detached style in which little is stated that would not be seen by a third-party observer. I find it an interesting challenge to try to convey the emotions of characters by external descriptions rather than by telling their thoughts directly, and the sparseness of this style, when I see other writers use it, appeals to me. Also, when it is necessary to tell what a character is thinking, it is sometimes possible to do so through dialogue by placing a character in a situation where he or she can state his or her emotions or opinions to some other character.

EDIT: After looking over some of my own stories and fragments of stories, it seems that I it seems that I do frequently resort to narrational assertion to describe characters' emotional states. It is rare, however, for me to directly state a character's thoughts without using a signal phrase like "he thought" or "she wondered." I don't believe I have ever actually written anything as purely detatched as, say, Old Testament narrative stories.

Directly inserting character thoughts is my preferred method of writing, as I feel it breaks the narrative the least of the available methods. Use of italics seems out of place to me and sometimes requires "he/she thought," which slows the story.

Part of the reason I am wary of direct insertion is that I feel that while the technique can be used well when skillfully handled, it is more difficult to pull off than some other styles. First person narrative is the same way--while it can be used to great effect by good writers, it also has the potential to be very weak when inexpertly applied. In the case of your writing, I believe that the insertion of the characters’ thoughts is handled well enough that it is not a weakness.

[quote="uc pseudonym"]I would appreciate if you gave me your thoughts as to the future movement of the plot in that manner. Of course, I do not request this]Although I have been engaging in some degree of speculation concerning the plot, this is not a question that it had occurred to me to ask. What I have devoted a bit more mental energy to is the question of who has hired the various assassins. I would guess that to arouse curiosity in this regard was your intent, especially considering the interesting statement in this chapter about the characters being tracked by paperwork rather than by shinobi techniques. Despite my speculation on this question, I have no actual guesses at the moment.

While I do not typically speculate about character development per se, I had made a note to myself to pay attention to how the characterization of Hinata develops in future chapters, although that was more due to something you had told me about your intent to contrast the static characters of Ino and Sakura with Hinata's changing nature than to the story itself. I believe in this case it would be best to wait for a little while at least, if not to the end of the story itself, to make any generalizations about how the characters change throughout the story, since by nature this question can be best answered by a holistic view.

[mastersquirrel]

The characterization of the story thus far has been good. It makes you want to continue to read to see what the characters will do next.
Good explanations of the clues as to the identity of the villan, though I still have no idea.
As usual, your fights are on par. Fast and gripping.
Ready for more.

[uc pseudonym]

Thank you. I hope that the final revelation of the villains will not be anti-climactic.

In the past, I have sometimes used a technique fairly similar to yours. Recently, however, I have begun to favor a more detached style in which little is stated that would not be seen by a third-party observer. I find it an interesting challenge to try to convey the emotions of characters by external descriptions rather than by telling their thoughts directly, and the sparseness of this style, when I see other writers use it, appeals to me. Also, when it is necessary to tell what a character is thinking, it is sometimes possible to do so through dialogue by placing a character in a situation where he or she can state his or her emotions or opinions to some other character.

EDIT: After looking over some of my own stories and fragments of stories, it seems that I it seems that I do frequently resort to narrational assertion to describe characters' emotional states. It is rare, however, for me to directly state a character's thoughts without using a signal phrase like "he thought" or "she wondered." I don't believe I have ever actually written anything as purely detatched as, say, Old Testament narrative stories.

I will momentarily tangent upon the subject of narration. The difference between narration in mediums is interesting. For example, in my writing what is seen is primarily the current focus character's thoughts. However, in anime or manga, we are seeing only the events themselves, not one character's perception of them (in general). Frequently this means that character's thoughts are literally shown on page. In movies, this is very rarely done, leaving the expression of any given person's thoughts only to their expressions and actions.

In my own manga projects, I have been moving toward a style of narration in which far fewer obvious thoughts are used. My goal is to show a direct thought only when it is necessary for the reader to properly understand the character (though if there is room for interpretation that is fine). This is difficult in some cases, because one of my character's is an extreme stoic.

While I do not typically speculate about character development per se, I had made a note to myself to pay attention to how the characterization of Hinata develops in future chapters, although that was more due to something you had told me about your intent to contrast the static characters of Ino and Sakura with Hinata's changing nature than to the story itself. I believe in this case it would be best to wait for a little while at least, if not to the end of the story itself, to make any generalizations about how the characters change throughout the story, since by nature this question can be best answered by a holistic view.

In the process of your explanation, you did hint as to some of your thoughts, which is fine for the moment. However, allow me to clarify that I am more interested in the impressions the story makes as to future events than opinions upon the progression of the story.

I intend to update tomorrow, with a chapter that will actually explain a great deal of what is going on, or at the very least shed light upon the topic.

[uc pseudonym]

I semi-seriously considered naming this chapter "Problem Solving with Sasuke" but decided it was too flippant.

The fourth chapter has been uploaded on fanfiction.net:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2203094/4/

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Chapter Six: Collaboration

“Well, it seems that we have a little problem,â€

[uc pseudonym]

“What are you doing here?â€

[uc pseudonym]

There was an uncomfortable pause, in which Ino and Sakura glanced at each other. Hinata gulped and was about to force herself to answer the question when Temari went on, not worried in the slightest.

“Because it looks to me like he isn’t interested in being caught.â€

[Kaori]

First off, while Sasuke's solution in the beginning of the chapter was not the most obvious one (I would have guessed that someone would sleep on the floor), I did find Sakura and Ino's awakening the next morning rather amusing.

The characterization of Sasuke by showing the reader Hinata's point of view continues to be interesting, although I do not have any more specific thoughts on it at the moment. Also, Shikamaru was fairly convincing as a character; his quick work in drawing the maps struck me as being particularly characteristic of him.

I do have one question about the plot itself. While it is fairly obvious that Shikamaru and Sasuke leaving the room at the same time allowed the female shinobi to talk amongst themselves, I am wondering whether this event has some further significance that will be revealed in a future chapter (i.e. Shikamaru and Sasuke had some secret conversation that will be important later).

Overall, this chapter had a nice sense of progression; things seem to be moving towards a climax.

[uc pseudonym]

First off, while Sasuke's solution in the beginning of the chapter was not the most obvious one (I would have guessed that someone would sleep on the floor),

That would be the logical solution (as Hinata thought), but operations regarding Sakura and Ino are rarely governed by logic.

[quote="Kaori"]Overall, this chapter had a nice sense of progression]

Were this a novel you would not think so, as you would be have a rough feel for the overall size. Here I will merely state that the story is much longer than its current length.

[mastersquirrel]

Were this a novel you would not think so, as you would be have a rough feel for the overall size. Here I will merely state that the story is much longer than its current length.

Interesting, I thought it was moving fast, but I guess not.

I liked the chapter, and I agree with Kaori, the awakening was quite amusing. The chapter felt that it was actually going toward something in the story other than Sasuke's personality and the fighting. Not that I don't like those things .

Quite enjoyable, I await the next installment.

[uc pseudonym]

Interesting, I thought it was moving fast, but I guess not.

This story is neither entirely plot driven or character driven. It is somewhat of a cross with which I was experimenting.

As somewhat of an indicator of the overall progress of the story: every Naruto-generation shinobi in the manga will make an appearance before the story runs its course.

[quote="mastersquirrel"]I liked the chapter, and I agree with Kaori, the awakening was quite amusing. The chapter felt that it was actually going toward something in the story other than Sasuke's personality and the fighting. Not that I don't like those things ]

Hopefully, this story will go many more directions than that, but I am glad we have reached the point where it has begun to branch out.

[uc pseudonym]

Glad to hear it. Meanwhile, I fear I must state something I believe you (in general) will not be glad to hear. I will be unable to update tomorrow, nor will I be able to update until March 1st.

[kryptech]

Glad to hear it. Meanwhile, I fear I must state something I believe you (in general) will not be glad to hear. I will be unable to update tomorrow, nor will I be able to update until March 1st.

Akk! Not until March? It was just this past week I started reading your work, UC, and I have really enjoyed it. The sad thing is I read it all in a couple days so I didn't ease into it like those who've been keeping up from the start. Now it is gonna be hard for me to patiently wait...

I haven't seen much of Naruto (the first 8 episodes and then a bunch around the 100 mark) but from what I've seen the characters in your work are quite recognizable (well, aside from Sukura being more aggressive). Sasuke always seems so mysterious and it is neat to learn a little more about him via Hinata's perspective. I eagerly wait to see what lays ahead for the foursome...

[kryptech]

[DOUBLEPOST]Crumb... Please ignore...[/DOUBLEPOST]

[uc pseudonym]

Akk! Not until March? It was just this past week I started reading your work, UC, and I have really enjoyed it. The sad thing is I read it all in a couple days so I didn't ease into it like those who've been keeping up from the start. Now it is gonna be hard for me to patiently wait...

This annoys me as well. If it was within my power to update before then I would do so, but such is actually impossible.

I haven't seen much of Naruto (the first 8 episodes and then a bunch around the 100 mark) but from what I've seen the characters in your work are quite recognizable (well, aside from Sukura being more aggressive). Sasuke always seems so mysterious and it is neat to learn a little more about him via Hinata's perspective. I eagerly wait to see what lays ahead for the foursome...

I am glad you are eager in that regard. Meanwhile, not seeing much of the series should only hurt you in terms of characters.

[uc pseudonym]

Actually, it appears I have a backup that will function for this chapter, though it is slightly less edited than the other chapters. So here is another chapter, sooner than I expected. This one meanders a bit, but I hope it does not seem like stalling.

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Chapter Seven: Turning in his Grave

Dust passed them by, drifting along the winds aimlessly. Moving at a relaxed pace, Shikamaru continued down the street. Things were so empty in this part of town. It was nice, really. Of course, there was a good reason things were empty, but he preferred not to think about that. Why complicate an essentially good thing?

Temari moved beside him at a similar pace, eyes on the ground. Slowly and subtly she edged over, pushing him toward the wall. Nothing he couldn’t see coming light-years away, but she didn’t particularly need to do anything of the sort. Eventually she turned and calmly pinned him to the wall. He went along with it amiably.

“You know they’re there, right?â€

[uc pseudonym]

“You’re an Anbu, and I’m fit to kick your butt,â€

[uc pseudonym]

“Do you think you’re above it?â€

[mastersquirrel]

Good fight scenes UC. Interesting that Temari and Shikamaru were attacked and I'm not sure what to make of the two boys and the girl being attacked. As for the training, I think it's a good way to understand more about the character of the characters (couldn't come up with a better way to say that).

I didn't get any cookies, but that's okay. I'm guessing something from the series. Anyway, hopefully we get back to the story soon, not that diversions are bad.

[uc pseudonym]

I'm not sure what to make of the two boys and the girl being attacked.

It isn't critical to the plot, though I will offer a hint: it does matter to the chapter title.

As for the training, I think it's a good way to understand more about the character of the characters (couldn't come up with a better way to say that).

I hope that is the general consensus]I didn't get any cookies, but that's okay. I'm guessing something from the series. Anyway, hopefully we get back to the story soon, not that diversions are bad.[/QUOTE]

The reference is fairly esoteric (or requires a person who thinks in a strange manner).