Metroid Fanfiction

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

Postby uc pseudonym » Tue Nov 16, 2004 5:37 am

I believe you're going to Pun Hell for that, skynes. The hole of you.
http://www.squidi.net/viewcomic.php?date=04-11-12

Thank you all for the numerous reviews. And yes, I did take some freedom with Samus' character.

-

Chapter 19: First of the Last

Holding back by the doorway, Samus continued to monitor the troop status around the hanger. Most of them were overall guarding the area of C12, but there were a fair number inside the hanger as well. All of them were clustered around her ship. That by itself changed her emotions to a cross between curious and nervous. Did whoever controlled these corrupt GC troops have it out for her?

Breaking through the surrounding layer of soldiers had been easy. She hadn’t set off any alarms and hadn’t even had to kill any of them. Up to this point she was perfect. Unfortunately, she couldn’t just sneak past these guys.

Worse, there appeared to be one bounty hunter guarding the ship as well. That made things considerably more difficult. Presumably there was only one... there could be others using cloaking equipment just as she was. Opening the door before her manually to just a crack, Samus flipped up her visor to avoid a scrambling cloaker and glanced into the area.

Troops were positioned around her ship, and her ship alone. They appeared to be facing outward in every direction. From what she could see, there was still only one bounty hunter, sitting roughly near the middle and keeping watch. Good.

Activating full cloaking technology, Samus slipped through the crack in the door. It was interesting stuff indeed. As much as she understood it, the suit bent light around her, making her completely invisible to the common eye. Even if someone had superhuman vision, the best they might be able to detect would be a slight disturbance in their surroundings.

Unfortunately, this also left her completely blind. That would have been a serious drawback, except for infrared mode. Gauging where she was by heat, Samus walked directly into the center of the chamber, hiding in plain sight. Walking while unable to see was only minorly difficult... it had been a few years since she’d been forced to do such a thing.

Raising both gun arms, Samus began charging them to maximum power. The energy use would be noticed rather quickly, but her element of surprise was already well in place. Waiting until the bounty hunter suddenly jolted in surprise, Samus fired both cannons forward into the mass of troops.

There was no recoil from the energy weapons, but Samus hurled herself backward anyway, dropping the cloak. Several charged shots crashed into the ground where she had been formerly. Breaking into a run to her right, Samus glanced over the group with real eyes.

Many of them now littered the floor, taken out by her massive shots. None of them appeared to have struck the ship, which was as she had planned it. The tricky part would be taking all of them out quickly enough to avoid backup, but carefully enough to avoid damaging her ship. At the moment the question was if she had killed the bounty hunter.

Two rockets flew through the air toward her the next instant, answering Samus’ question. Blasting both out of the sky, Samus fired back toward the bounty hunter. Her aim was jostled considerably because she had to jerk back to avoid further gunfire. Those troops were going to be a serious annoyance...

Breaking into a run for the door, Samus decided to forgo shooting for the moment. Too much gunfire to effectively dodge. Reaching the wall, Samus ran up the side a short distance before activating magnetic boots. She continued to run up the side of the wall until she reached the top of the hanger.

Moving to the ceiling, Samus glanced down at the troops, still firing at her. They were terrible shots, if they couldn’t even get close while she was running in magnetic boots. Then the bounty hunter started firing as well, forcing Samus to use a bit more fancy footwork. She fired back for good measure, though the bounty hunter dodged those attacks as well.

Abruptly Samus put on a burst of her jet pack, shooting across the ceiling and reattaching to it just above the troops. They needed a moment to retrain their guns to fire on her... unfortunately for them, Samus didn’t. Plasma rained down upon the troops, decimating most of them. Almost done, then.

Several rockets flew up toward Samus, more than she could shoot down. Targeting the floor with her grappling hook, Samus braced herself as she was jerked away from the ceiling and hurtled toward the ground at a startling rate. The missiles crashed into the ceiling above her, breaking loose major portions of it.

Bringing her feet to the ground before she landed, Samus retracted the grappling hook while swiping the legs out from under the bounty hunter. Firing a short concussive burst, Samus sent her opponent flying across the room. Not a lot of damage, but it would buy time.

Realizing that chunks of the ceiling were tumbling through the air toward her spaceship, Samus devoted a few seconds to blowing them out of the sky, or at least off course. Couldn’t have the ship being damaged. She barely rolled away the next moment as a massive burst of plasma destroyed the ground where she had stood.

Surprisingly, the stream of fire followed her rather quickly, striking her and knocking her out of ball form. The impact sent her sprawling back on the floor, where several of the nearer troops descended upon her. Laser blades hummed at the edges of their rifles.

Well... ow. They must have managed to set up a machine gun with a shifting turret. Looking over the damage reports, Samus decided they weren’t as bad as she had thought and mostly to armor anyway. Still, that had to be taken care of. Like the soldiers aiming to cut her while she lay prone on the floor.

Throwing herself to her back, Samus kicked away the nearest two then flipped to her feet. With no real time to fire on the remaining others, she basically just smacked them upside the head with the guns surrounding her hands. Crude but workable.
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby uc pseudonym » Tue Nov 16, 2004 5:37 am

Another stream of plasma fire flew in her direction, missing but moving across the floor toward her. So they had fired up the machine gun again, and didn’t seem to care if they shot their soldiers while missing her. But no matter. This time she was ready for it. Last time she had rolled, it had felt superior to her prior rolling system before. Perhaps...

The gunner manning the turret continued to fire, drawing closer to the target. Abruptly the bounty hunter rolled to the side. Gaping, the gunner tried to sweep his line of fire after her. She had curled into a ball, and her bio suit appeared to be created to make her roughly spherical. Now she was rolling across the ground toward them at a fair rate, zig-zagging and avoiding being hit by the machine gun fire.

She passed out of his line of sight, and the gunner had a moment to wonder how she had gotten past him. Then the mounted gun before him was blown away. He had time to jerk his head around and see Samus, out of her ball form, having fired backward. By that point it was too late.

Flipping to his feet, the bounty hunter swiftly skipped through his bio suit’s vision modes. There was plenty of dying life around the room, and one high level of heat. Focusing there, he discovered Samus standing amid a group of freshly smoking bodies. Then it was finally between the two of them.

Firing full throttle with his left hand, the bounty hunter forced Samus to move completely to dodging. Perfect. Samus back flipped away, sprang off the ground with both hands and landed, skidding a short distance away. Meanwhile, she took the time to get her first real look at her opponent.

Whoever he was, he was wearing a light blue bio suit. It looked to be a very recent model, almost as good as the one she had used before these most recent modifications. While it was impossible to tell another bounty hunter’s skill, you could generally get a good idea by the bio suit they wore. This wasn’t a good sign.

Before she could consider how to fight back, Samus realized that he had charged up a major attack of his own. Abruptly swinging his right arm, he launched a laser that blasted into the opposite wall and quickly swept to the left, aiming to slice her in half. It probably couldn’t, but still, she didn’t want to get hit by light that intense.

Just before the laser reached her, Samus threw herself back, bending over backward to touch the ground and barely evading the attack. Activating magnetic energy in her gun arm, Samus pulled both legs into the air and pulled an internal trigger. Plasma blew from the guns concealed in the soles of her feet, slamming the opposing bounty hunter into the opposite wall.

From the dust a wave of energy rained forward. Probably a spreadfire cannon, Samus considered as she jumped over the many bolts slamming into the hanger wall behind her. This place was going to come down around them if their fight lasted much longer. Activating her jet pack, Samus avoided falling back into the wave of attacks.

Suspending in midair, Samus saw the other bounty hunter bursting up toward her the very next moment. A slight smile appeared on her face a moment before being replaced with a completely serious expression. So he was inexperienced and just happened to own a high tech suit. That took some off her mind.

Samus’ boot smashed directly into his helmet, sending him hurtling backward and slamming into the floor. His visor had several large cracks running across it, and his helmet registered severe damage. Follow up shots were fired, but he managed to roll backward away from them.

Planting his back to the wall, the bounty hunter opened fire with everything he had. The metal around his arms shifted, new energy cannons emerging from hidden locations and firing. Hot plasma flooded from his main cannons. He bent both knees slightly, revealing new openings that sent rockets flying into the fray as well. His hands were both burning hot from his cannons overheating, but he continued firing everything he had. Unless he managed to take her out now, she’d destroy him.

Eventually he could do no more; his ammunition supply was depleted and his energy stores drained. Both of his hand cannons were melted, probably taken out of commission fully by such strain on them. One side of the hanger before him was no more than slag, nothing stirred within it. Then he’d managed it...

An orange arm entered his vision the next instant, its gun loudly clicking against his visor in the silence. One shot rang out, and then the blue bio suit fell to the ground lifelessly. Turning from him, Samus swept her gaze around the hanger, looking for any other adversaries. There appeared to be none.

Blowing imaginary smoke off of one energy cannon, Samus let herself smile slightly. Subtlety? What was that?

Fortunately, her ship had been far enough across the hanger that the other bounty hunter’s mad attacked hadn’t really damaged it. Apparently the generators set up here were still working as well, which meant there was power to the computers at the docking bay. And computers could be hacked.

Opening her ship’s docking ramp from afar, Samus reached it just as it tapped to the ground. Striding up the ramp, she closed it behind her with another command and moved to the cockpit. Good to be back here again. This ship was more her home than anywhere else in the galaxy.

Linking to her computer, Samus began uploading her bio suit’s new contents with one arm. At the same time she shifted the gun away from her other arm, leaving her hand free to use the controls. She set up a program to trick the docking bay into briefly entering an emergency release and then sat back and waited for both operations.

When the download had finished, Samus quickly found the new floating station that now appeared on her map. That was the only real lead she had to go on, but Samus had the feeling that she was going to get some answers there. As the doors opened and a vacuum rushed into the hanger, Samus guided her ship out of the station, ignoring the flashing warning lights. None of this would matter in a second.

Whoever was on that station was going to get a little visit.

-

That is sort of a short chapter... so I will count the 4th review for the previous chapter as the first for the next.
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby mastersquirrel » Tue Nov 16, 2004 12:15 pm

That was great.
I liked the battle between Samus and the other bounty hunter, even if he didn't really have a chance since he was an amateur.
Good work uc, I'm looking forward to the next installment.
User avatar
mastersquirrel
 
Posts: 696
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 10:55 am
Location: I saw a squirrel! ...... It was going like this!!!

Postby uc pseudonym » Tue Nov 16, 2004 1:20 pm

mastersquirrel wrote:That was great.
I liked the battle between Samus and the other bounty hunter, even if he didn't really have a chance since he was an amateur.
Good work uc, I'm looking forward to the next installment.


If you liked that battle, then you have even more to look forward to. I won't say anything specific, but the best is yet to come.
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby mastersquirrel » Tue Nov 16, 2004 1:24 pm

uc pseudonym wrote:I won't say anything specific, but the best is yet to come.

:eh: It gets even better?
:drool: Want more! Some one! Please post for the banana :dance: !
User avatar
mastersquirrel
 
Posts: 696
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 10:55 am
Location: I saw a squirrel! ...... It was going like this!!!

Postby skynes » Wed Nov 17, 2004 2:10 pm

Well here's your final post UC. now POST MORE.

I liked that fight too. The "subtlety? Whats that?" joke was cool.

-----------------------
I believe you're going to Pun Hell for that, skynes. The hole of you.


On the hole that'll be one hell of a challenge, dontcha think?
I am the Reaper of Souls... and it's harvest time.

Image
User avatar
skynes
 
Posts: 742
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:39 am
Location: N Ireland

Postby Raiden no Kishi » Wed Nov 17, 2004 3:34 pm

I really think this hole pun business has gone too far.

I like the extra gadgets you gave Samus' Power Suit, UC. I wonder if Samus likes the Hitman games...

Rai
[raiden's liveJournal]

[color="Indigo"]"I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you . . . stranger."[/color]

Strollin' in at dawn, wakin' up at noon's gonna catch up to me soon
'Just sleep when you're dead' is what I said 'cause I'm jumpin' off the moon
User avatar
Raiden no Kishi
 
Posts: 2518
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:45 am
Location: Ticking away/The hours that make up the dull day . . .

Postby Anna Mae » Thu Nov 18, 2004 5:20 am

Hole-y cow. This pun business is crazy.

Post more story!
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
User avatar
Anna Mae
 
Posts: 1663
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
Location: Brazil

Postby uc pseudonym » Thu Nov 18, 2004 5:30 am

Stop it, the hole lot of you.

This chapter contains a significant diversion that will matter greatly later on in the story. We'll see if you like it or not, but rest assured this is the only chapter of the short. But do tell me what you think.

-

Chapter 20: Lethal Filler

His fingers slowly moved over the cool metal, feeling its contours and crevices. Turning the object over in his hands, he examined it as if he was seeing it for the first time in his life, as if he hadn’t worn it every day for the past four years. Sweeping lines formed the symbol of the Galactic Council, a triangular star designed to represent unity. The blue letter GC were stamped in the center, in old roman-style letters.

Sighing heavily, the man reattached the identification to the lapel of his suit. While he did so, he looked over himself, invoking another soul-weary sigh. This suit... he’d been wearing it for three days straight. A formal grey piece, suitable for his position but still slightly casual. That was how he had campaigned, after all: as a casual guy who could have lived next door.

What did it mean? What did any of it mean? Now his suit was rumpled, his eyes were nearly closed from lack of sleep, his feet ached in his shoes, his voice rasped slightly from talking. Though his hair had once been neatly combed, it was now less than so, despite the best efforts of his aides.

It wasn’t just that, either. Even in a broader sense, he was slowly going downhill. Muscle had faded from his sedentary lifestyle; he was beginning to get softer around the middle; his hair was thinning out. Modern technology ensured that his face would remain smooth, but he knew that a poor man would have begun to develop wrinkles. These days when he moved there was occasionally a twinge of pain.

He was dying. Slowly and surely. Oh, he knew the process would take years, he knew that he probably still had twenty years of his life remaining. People told him his eyes were still bright and clear, his smile still warm. But how rarely did he smile any more.

Putting his face between his hands, he glanced between his fingers. They were all dying. Some of them didn’t know it. Some of them denied it. True, many of them were still young, still filled with vitality, still able to work constantly. But they were dying, as surely as all the others. Maybe not even in body, but in soul. He barely even could tell them apart any more. All just suits that had grown blind and corrupted.

That was what all of this felt like... an aging body. All of the galactic organization was a gigantic being, lumbering along, unaware that it was being eaten away from within. Though it might still appear mighty, and might be able to crush its opposition, it was still losing what it once was. Disease was rapidly spreading throughout it.

And though he wished to deny it, wanted with all his heart for it not to be true, the corruption had probably spread here, to the mind of the beast, to the Galactic Council. He had poured his life into the organization, and this was his second term on the prestigious Council itself. Just one more year... one more year then he might want to retire.

Admitting that all of this was becoming corrupted hurt. But he didn’t really feel that hurt anymore, just a dull ache that was another sign that he was getting older. In spirit if not in body. More than anything else, he was just tired. Tired of corruption. Tired of manipulation. Tired of cover ups. And now this...

“Stevenson!â€
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby uc pseudonym » Thu Nov 18, 2004 5:32 am

“Thank you, you may go.â€
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby skynes » Thu Nov 18, 2004 7:16 am

The swapping to other's perspectives is good. You have a good ratio there, it adds to the story without consuming the story.
I am the Reaper of Souls... and it's harvest time.

Image
User avatar
skynes
 
Posts: 742
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:39 am
Location: N Ireland

Postby mastersquirrel » Thu Nov 18, 2004 11:10 am

I liked this section, and I agree, the change of perspective did add to the story. Of course many things haven't been as they seemed. Something seems like it's going to come out of nowhere pretty soon.
I could very well be wrong though. :eyeroll:
[SIZE="1"]"If there's one thing that I know, it's that I know more than one thing." - Master Squirrel[/SIZE]
User avatar
mastersquirrel
 
Posts: 696
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 10:55 am
Location: I saw a squirrel! ...... It was going like this!!!

Postby Icarus » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:03 pm

What he said.
The Forsworn War of 34

††
User avatar
Icarus
 
Posts: 1477
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 5:00 am
Location: 34

Postby Anna Mae » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:11 pm

Icarus wrote:What he said.
What he said.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
User avatar
Anna Mae
 
Posts: 1663
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
Location: Brazil

Postby uc pseudonym » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:26 pm

That was quite fast posting. As promised, here is the next chapter. We follow this new plotline further, but shift to some more traditional action as well. This is one of my favorite chapters. When you guys review, I'd like at least some commentary, please.

-

Chapter 21: Zeniths

A low tone woke her up, though she didn’t remember falling asleep. Instantly alert, Samus bounded to the cockpit and discovered she was nearing the station. Already it was looming ahead of her. As she had expected, it was simply floating in the middle of nowhere, where no ship had any reason to go. Soon it would someplace completely different but probably just as empty.

Bringing the ship to a halt, Samus waited for another ship to approach. If she was really going to try the sensor shadow trick, she’d have to wait for something big. There were actually a number of smaller ships coming and going from the station, but it couldn’t hurt to be cautious.

None of the ships noticed her, given the fact that an unmoving cloaked ship was almost impossible to detect. Eventually a cargo ship lumbered forward, sending the smaller ships scurrying out of the way as it moved to dock with the hanger doors. Perfect. Sliding down and directly beneath the massive ship, Samus moved just behind it.

Staying in a sensor shadow as always tricky. There were things that could identify exactly where a sensor shadow was... but they would make you incredibly obvious. That made it more of a guessing game, where you had to feel your way through. She’d done this quite a few times, and was pretty confident she could drifted just beneath and behind the primary bulk of the cargo ship and remain in its sensor shadow.

While the ship itself blocked off all view of her own vessel from the hanger, Samus turned off the cloak. Nothing shot at her or started making noise, so she considered it success. When the cargo ship had docked completely, filling the majority of the entrance to the hanger, Samus slipped around it, flying sideways to enter the slot remaining before the docking bay doors closed.

Settling down in the hanger as if she belonged there, Samus turned ship security on to maximum and moved from the ship. Still no one shooting at her. Most people seemed completely involved with loading the massive cargo ship, so they didn’t really even look at her. She wasn’t going to complain.

Exiting her ship and leaving the room, Samus wandered while pretending to know where she was going. Eventually stumbling across an elevator, she entered and indicated she wanted to go to the opposite side of the station. The trip was somewhat long and annoying, as the elevator kept stopping when new people wanted to get on, but she just stood in the back and waited until they left.

Getting off at the opposite side of the station, safely away from her ship, Samus decided it was time to start. Where to do it, though? As much as she wanted to charge into the situation, it was more important to actually accomplish something. Moving to a computer, Samus messed with the controls and discovered that a massive central portion of the station had no information and was forbidden from public access... which meant she probably wanted to go there.

Walking to the doors to the center levels of the station, Samus discovered that the crowd around her had thinned and vanished. Apparently even people on a station like this, which was probably illegal, didn’t go here. Whatever was inside was probably important.

Tapping at the computer, Samus discovered that its lock was sophisticated enough she couldn’t hack through it. Interesting. That didn’t happen very often. But there were other methods of opening doors.

Stepping back, Samus fired a couple of missiles at the door. It broke through it, but just barely... probably an extremely tough door. They really didn’t want people inside... which meant that she needed to go inside very much.

Going through the hole in the door was rather anticlimactic. There wasn’t anyone inside, and the corridors looked exactly the same. Shrugging and laughing at herself for expecting anything exciting, Samus began exploring. As her exploration continued, she felt her body temperature dropping.

Laboratories; dozens of experiments. There were heavy levels of nega photon radiation over everything, as heavy as the radiation on the research stations. Many of the things she had seen on Station Emerald were here as well, and some of the creatures she had fought on Station Sapphire were up on screens. This seemed like the culmination of the work of all three stations... and no records had indicated it even existed.

What exactly did that mean? Were the people behind this shadowy operation actually double crossing the scientists at the other stations, just using them and collecting all their data here? Or was this kept under far higher security than the rest of the project? Mystery upon mystery... but at the moment she didn’t care.

More disturbing were the diagrams of human warriors, genetically combined with some of the aliens she had seen before. Like Tal, yet not completely like him. Curious, Samus examined the schematics further. They listed all the combat abilities of such models... making it pretty obvious what their intended purpose was. Though she already had enough evidence to lock anyone away for life, Samus downloaded this as well.

Oddly enough, however, things didn’t quite match up. Tal’s exoskeleton had been slightly different. It was interesting seeing how it moved beneath his skin, though slightly disgusting, and seeing how his internal organs would have permanently shifted to accommodate such a change. But the armor itself was still slightly different from Tal’s. In fact, he had shown capabilities that she didn’t see listed here. What did that make him?

Finishing the download, Samus moved on, to other experiments and the like. Then her eyes lit upon a large computer, documents still on screen. That was more like it. If anything was a base of operations, this was. A slight smile working its way onto her face, Samus moved to the computer and began reading.

“Wha- intrud-â€
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby uc pseudonym » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:26 pm

“Someone...?â€
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby uc pseudonym » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:27 pm

A longer silence stretched about the Galactic Council chamber. There was little else to be said. After an unofficial fifteen minute break, they had begun work on the Council’s official statement regarding the disaster at Bounty Hunter HQ. It had quickly become clear that seven members were moving in one direction, two in the other.

Mr. Stevenson dropped his face to his hands and sighed heavily once more. His only ally, the only person who opposed the seven, was sitting across the room. Yet he felt in his heart that he had no allies at all. This man was one of those he knew was corrupted. What his motives were was anyone’s guess.

How long could he keep this up? How long could he fight against the odds, before he crumpled, or fell from exhaustion, or was defeated? Terribly, terribly tired... it felt like it had been so long. No one should have to live this long.

“News!â€
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby mastersquirrel » Fri Nov 19, 2004 7:02 am

I like it... I like it a lot.
I find it interesting that these "newer" (I'm assuming they're newer because Tal was TA1) aren't as strong as Tal seemed to be. I also liked the ending with old Mr. Stevenson's speech.
"You cannot win... If you strike me down I'll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." ;)
Keep up the good work uc.
More people post! Want more story!!
User avatar
mastersquirrel
 
Posts: 696
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 10:55 am
Location: I saw a squirrel! ...... It was going like this!!!

Postby uc pseudonym » Fri Nov 19, 2004 7:39 am

Thank you... and yes, the speech was Obiwan reminiscent, though hopefully not too much so.

But for the record: the newer TA models are inferior for a good reason. They're based solely upon the designs and records from the creation of Tal. Most of the records have been destroyed or are possessed only by Samus, so they have incomplete work. They wanted to get Tal's genetics, which would have helped a lot, but that isn't possible any longer.
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby skynes » Fri Nov 19, 2004 10:10 am

Something I've liked throughout the story is your adding to Samus' gear. that energy earthquake cannon was very nice. I'd had a feeling since early on the Divel was much further up the chain that the story lead you to believe.
I am the Reaper of Souls... and it's harvest time.

Image
User avatar
skynes
 
Posts: 742
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:39 am
Location: N Ireland

Postby Anna Mae » Fri Nov 19, 2004 1:18 pm

Hmmm... I keep expecting Tal to come back, but he hasn't yet. It has been about seven chapters...that would be original if he really was dead :), but that would make me sad :sniffle:. Oh, well. Time will tell (and hopefully pretty soon - I'm the third person to post here).
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
User avatar
Anna Mae
 
Posts: 1663
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
Location: Brazil

Postby uc pseudonym » Fri Nov 19, 2004 1:32 pm

Thanks for the compliments/comments. This is the last chapter I'll be able to update for quite a while, so I apologize in advance.

This chapter is, in a nutshell, why you don't make Samus angry.

-

Chapter 22: Intolerable Cruelty

Breaking down the corridor at top speed, Samus continued scanning through the map she had downloaded in the bio suit. Good, there was a normal floor one level up that was not connected to any station support or life-critical system. Blasting the ceiling at full power, Samus created a hole through which she could pull herself. One level higher.

Her only goal now was to find the head of the monster that was Project Darklight and kill it; Mr. Divel and anyone else who fit the description. She had discovered that the most important offices were on the top floor, specifically in a spire from the top of the station. If she could reach those offices before everyone on the station was aware of her presence she might be able to end all of this now.

Sensing something at the opposite end of the floor, Samus jerked to the left. Sharp spines whistled through the air, embedding themselves several inches in the metal wall before her. Turning away from the wall while ducking, Samus fired several shots vaguely in the direction the spines had come from.

Another of the exoskeletons, as she now categorized all the TA line and the pathetic creatures that had preceded it. There had been quite a few since they started coming, but they varied in strength considerably. Most of them were pretty weak, at least compared to what she could have faced, most were broken and insane, but a few were smart and tough. This one was flipping around on the opposite end of the corridor, dodging all of her shots gracefully. He was pretty fast.

But also pretty stupid. Samus’ other hand became fully charged, and she swiftly brought it to bear and fired one massive shot of plasma. It tore through the thin corridor, sweeping right through the exoskeleton in the middle of a flip and ravaging the wall behind. That probably wasn’t any good for the station, but at this point she was beyond caring.

Her next point of movement was a set of emergency stairs. Assuming the map was accurate, and so far it had been, there was another thin corridor that branched apart, a massive maintenance hallway and then the stairs. They’d let her skip up six levels, which would put her just two levels from the very top of the station. Almost there.

Taking the corner at full speed, Samus briefly ran on the wall out of necessity and then continued on. Ignore the first two branches, then take the left at the T... then just the large hallway. Hopefully there wouldn’t be any sort of resistence force centered in the hallway, as seemed logical. She really couldn’t afford to be slowed down by anything at this point. Turning a corner, guns ready to fire, Samus entered the chamber and skidded to a halt, jaw dropping...

He stood on the opposite end of the hallway, framed by the door to the stairs. The central air conditioning system nearby was blowing at full power, whipping his light shirt and dark pants. Deep black hair shifted just slightly as he looked up at her abruptly.

Could... could it really be him? Samus’ guns lowered, though she didn’t stop being alert. Tal... Seeing him she realized how much she had really missed him, how much she had wanted him to be alive. It brought back the pain in her heart that had become numb... but at the moment that was what she wanted.

“Is that really you, Samus?â€
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby uc pseudonym » Fri Nov 19, 2004 1:33 pm

“Fine. The plan was to trick you for a short while; I didn’t really think I could fool you completely. But if I could get you within range, or better yet, out of your armor, a claw through your heart and it would all be over. Plus, I figured there’d be some shock value seeing Tal alive, and you wouldn’t be operating at your best. Especially if I broke the news that he was as dead as dead can be just before I struck.â€
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby Icarus » Fri Nov 19, 2004 2:59 pm

First reaction was "Yay! He's back!" Next, "Why?" Finally, "The blaggards."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.
The Forsworn War of 34

††
User avatar
Icarus
 
Posts: 1477
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 5:00 am
Location: 34

Postby Raiden no Kishi » Sat Nov 20, 2004 4:31 am

Samus has a decidedly Punisher-esque temper. ^_^

Rai
[raiden's liveJournal]

[color="Indigo"]"I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you . . . stranger."[/color]

Strollin' in at dawn, wakin' up at noon's gonna catch up to me soon
'Just sleep when you're dead' is what I said 'cause I'm jumpin' off the moon
User avatar
Raiden no Kishi
 
Posts: 2518
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:45 am
Location: Ticking away/The hours that make up the dull day . . .

Postby skynes » Sat Nov 20, 2004 9:15 am

I had the same reaction as Icarus. I thought, I KNEW HE WASN'T DEAD!!! Then it was... UC... that's eeeevvviillll.

I'm not surprised at Samus' reactions in this chapter. It all seemed to be building up to this, good character development.
I am the Reaper of Souls... and it's harvest time.

Image
User avatar
skynes
 
Posts: 742
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:39 am
Location: N Ireland

Postby uc pseudonym » Sat Nov 20, 2004 12:16 pm

Glad I managed to fool someone. My fear was that everyone would be too skeptical to really believe it, but it wasn't reasonable to drag out the fake Tal portion of the story.

As for Samus' temper... I haven't seen The Punisher (neither the movie nor the comics), so I cannot comment upon that. I thought it was reasonable.

Oh, and unless I can seriously fix my grandmother's internet provider, the next chapter could be even longer in coming than I intended. Again, I apologize.
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby Raiden no Kishi » Sat Nov 20, 2004 7:00 pm

I haven't seen The Punisher either, UC (neither do I care to), but my friend has. These bad guys killed his family or something and now he's seeking revenge. And he has some rather...effective interrogation methods.

And I agree Samus' temper was quite justified. While I coonsider myself a reserved person, I would likely be in just such a froth were I in her cybernetic shoes.

Rai
[raiden's liveJournal]

[color="Indigo"]"I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you . . . stranger."[/color]

Strollin' in at dawn, wakin' up at noon's gonna catch up to me soon
'Just sleep when you're dead' is what I said 'cause I'm jumpin' off the moon
User avatar
Raiden no Kishi
 
Posts: 2518
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:45 am
Location: Ticking away/The hours that make up the dull day . . .

Postby Anna Mae » Mon Nov 22, 2004 5:13 am

Well, you fooled me. Excellent work.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
User avatar
Anna Mae
 
Posts: 1663
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
Location: Brazil

Postby mastersquirrel » Mon Nov 22, 2004 7:25 am

That was very well done. At first I thought "YAY"... But then I read "...he told her, smile spreading across his face." and I thought it odd because I didn't remember him smiling broadly at all through the time he was there.

And yes... interogation Punisher style. Very effective, good work UC.
User avatar
mastersquirrel
 
Posts: 696
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 10:55 am
Location: I saw a squirrel! ...... It was going like this!!!

Previous Next

Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 244 guests