I'm writing a story, and I'm nervous.

[jesusfreakabc]

anyone want to see my story? http://christiananime.com/showthread.php?p=243399#post243399

[Kesshin]

It's been about three weeks, hasn't it? *sigh* I'm sorry for the wait, guys. On a happy note, though, Grandpa has gotten out of the hospital. He is walking with assistance and can make longer sentences now. Two ladies have to stay with him to take care of him now, but I thank God that that's all. The doctor says that it could have been a lot worse. Your prayers probably had something to do with it. ^^ Thank you.
And thanks for the idea, Loch. I think I might try something along those lines...

Kern glared at the scientist, sliding to the floor. He clutched at his stomach, but never took his dark eyes off the man. "What are you going to do now, then?" he spat at him.
"Well, it seems I'm going to have to kill you three. The radiation poisoning is cureable and takes a while to really kick in, so I fear I must assist it. It would be a true public relations fiasco if I were to let you walk out of here, don't you agree?"
Pen raised her stun gun to his temple. The scientist merely smiled. "Oh, come now. The boy is affected faster because of his smaller body weight, but you're starting to feel the pain too, aren't you?"
Pen bit her lip. The gun shook in her hand, causing the scientist's smirk to widen. She wished that she could steady her hand, that she could wipe that nasty smile off his face...
"However," the scientist turned to look at Joyce, "You're not affected, are you? I think I may keep you alive, at least for a while, anyway," he reached out and grabbed her wrist, studying it curiously, "My job at the powerplant is to find new uses for uranium. There are endless possibilities; interrogation, torture, poisoning....I've never had an alien to experiment on before."
Kern raised his drooping head, "Shut up! Don't insult her."
"Oh, I see," the scientist said, raising his eyebrows, "You haven't told him yet, have you? Poor dear," he laughed.
Joyce tried wrenching her hand away, but the man held it fast. She raised her free hand to punch him in the face, only to have it caught in his fist. He kneed her in the stomach, and she doubled over, panting in agony.
"There we are," he snickered, "First let me deal with your companions, then I will have you taken to the lab. We wouldn't want them to feel left out, now, would we?"
Joyce looked up pleadingly into his eyes, but there was no mercy there. He opened his mouth to say something, then frowned questioningly. He looked down at his foot, and the stun gun pressed against it. Kern scowled up at him. There was a crackling sound and a quick flash of light, then the scientist fell towards the unbelievably clean floor. "Very.... good." he whispered before dropping off into unconsciousness.
Pen reached down to help Kern to his feet, and together they limped over to Joyce.
"Ralda," Kern coughed, "Ralda, are you all right? What's the matter, what-"
He pulled her knotted hands away from her stomach, and saw the newly re-opened wound.
"What are you?"

Bwa ha ha! XD More cliffhangers!

[Icarus]

You updated!

[true_noir_chloe]

Kesshin! *hug* I'm so glad to hear your grandfather is doing better. That is so wonderful to hear. ^____^

Now, I'm glad you added to the story. You're doing good and wow, another cliffhanger - of which, I like cliffhangers, unlike other fans of yours. >_> I think cliffhangers are... FUN! XDXD

anyone want to see my story? http://christiananime.com/showthrea...3399#post243399

I can see you're new, so I will be polite. Please, start your own thread with your story and people may read it. This is Kesshin's story thread. I realize you're new and might not understand this principal, but it is basic etiquette on a writing thread. I hope you understand.

[Lochaber Axe]

Well, I am back... I haven't posted on CAA for quite a while now. Its good to see that you are continuing. Steadfastness to writing is one of the few things I have yet to achieve.

[Kesshin]

Gaaah.... -___- It's been weeks since I've updated. Sorry, guys. I'm going to update now, though. >>>Steadfastness to writing is one of the few things I have yet to achieve.<<<
Neither have I. If it weren't for you three, this story would not have gotten past twenty pages. ^^ And besides which, I'm always late to update. ^_^;;;

This story is copyrighted by Kesshin, 2004.

Ralda's green eyes flashed with horror. She lowered her head, allowing a curtain of brown hair to fall across her face.
"Ralda?" Kern rasped. He stared at her for several moments, then reached down to jerk the fallen scientist up against the wall. The man's cracked glasses fell to shards as Kern brought a hand to his neck. "What did you do to her?!"
The man chuckled weakly. "Never told you, hm?"
"Tell me what you did to her." Kern tightened the grip on the scientist. The man's face twisted with cruel pain, and for a moment Pen felt a sudden urge to remove the hand that was causing him to writhe with such agony. Kern's eyes were as cold as they had been the day when the whole mess started. They burned with a strange, icy fire of someone who genuinely didn't care, who was ready to kill. It frightened Pen, perhaps more than even the bounty hunters or radiation poisoning.
"Kern....," she murmured, setting a hand on his shoulder. He wrenched his shoulder away.
"What is she now, how did she get this way?"
The scientist was fading, and his answer came in a choked whisper, "She was born an alien, and will be one till the day she dies; which will be soon. The guards will be here shortly."
The man slumped, turning pale.
"Kern, stop. Let him go. Kern?" He didn't answer. Pen suddenly knew what had to be done. With shaky precision and only a second of hesitation, she drove a fist into Kern's stomach; not hard enough to knock him out, but definitely enough to persuade him to let go. He didn't even flinch. Slowly, he released the scientist and sank to his knees. His eyes were no longer burning, but they were just as cold.
Pen turned her attention to the nearly strangled man. 'Good, still breathing.' She pushed him up against the wall, and turned back to look at her comrades. Ralda was huddled at the opposite side of the corridor, and Kern was staring off into nothing. He looked more pale than the scientist.

[Icarus]

:dance:
Nice section.

[true_noir_chloe]

I agree, this was a nice section. I'm just wondering why Pen punched Kern in the gut. She should have let him take out the scientist. XD

[Lochaber Axe]

Okay, I am seriously out-of-the-loop, but what is with this Ash cloning?

On-Topic: Sometimes writers need a kick in the pants to get them going. Thats one reason I want to be a publisher. Anyways, Nice update... no other comments, sorry.

[Kesshin]

Thanks, guys. ^^ And about the Ashley-clones.... Check out the thread "Ash(ley) Wednesday" started by Chloe, Loch. That should clear things up.

>>>She should have let him take out the scientist.<<<

Yeah, guess he kinda deserved it, ne? *grin*
Still, on a serious note, Kern wasn't really angry at the scientist. I mean, he was angry at him, but that was not the reason he lost it. He was taking out his frustration on the man while at the same time trying to find a way to justify Ralda's story. Kern and his entire family have had a pretty hard time of things. He completely distrusts his enemies, and trusts his friends to the point of foolhardiness. Kern is a guy who believes what he wants to believe, because sometimes the truth is just too hard for him to handle. If he had killed the scientist, he would have never been able to forgive himself after he came to his senses again. He would have taken on the weight of a murderer, and it is a terrible, near-crushing weight. >_< There I go again. Been reading waaaay too much xxxHolic lately. XD
Anyway, sorry for making you listen to my ramblings. ^_^;; I will update after Thanksgiving, most likely.

[true_noir_chloe]

Thank you for rambling, Kesshin. ^____^ I don't think any of us mind... too much - being ramblers/ranters ourselves at times. ^^;;;

[Kesshin]

Thanks, Chloe. ^^ It's good to know I can ramble occasionally. I hope you guys had a great Thanksgiving.
This story is copyrighted by Kesshin, 2004.

Pen stood in a daze, watching her companions. Their sullen stillness made her want to curl up into a ball next to them; to pretend that they had all of the time in the world. But the hard reality was that they didn't. The scientist had mentioned guards, and the last thing they needed was to be here when they showed up.
Pen knelt down to Joyce and pulled her to her feet. Joyce went along with her promptings without complaint, but Kern was another matter. He refused to be moved. Pen tugged at his wrists, talked to him, whispered to him, yelled at him; but Kern was beyond her.
Finally she lowered her head to face his, and stared into his vacant eyes. "Kern, you need to get up. They're going to find us here and kill us. Do you understand?"
Kern's eyes remained hard as stones.
"Please," she continued, "You can do whatever you need to when this is over, but right now we have to go!"
After several moments of unbroken silence, Pen let out a growl of aggravation. She fired every last ounce of will into her gaze, hoping that something would reach beyond the barriers that obstructed her friend's vision. For a single second, the task absorbed her world. Everything else fell away, leaving a battle between two minds; a girl straining to batter down a wall of emptiness.
Then Pen turned her eyes away. "Fine,"
With a look of iron determination, Pen slid two arms around Kern's stomach. She lifted him onto her shoulder, gritting her teeth against the weight, "I'll carry you."
Joyce looked on with stunned silence as Pen sprinted down the hallway, motioning for her to follow.

[true_noir_chloe]

Pen needs to just smack Kern across the face. >.< Hehe, okay, well maybe not. She's going to get tired carrying him, though. Nice section, Kesshin - very nice. ^____^ What, no rambling? ~_^

[Icarus]

Or choke him... Nothing life threatening of course, but still, enough to get his attention.

[Kesshin]

Well, I was actually considering having her shake him or slap him, but I figured that it would be a little much, considering she just punched him in the stomach. XD
Yeah, Kern is one of those characters that needs the occasional reality check. The problem is, sometimes the reality is too hard to handle. He pretends to be a tough, cold person, but in fact he is extremely sensitive. Sheila's like that; she tried holding out on her own strength, but eventually it became too much for her to handle. So Sheila, one of the outwardly toughest characters I've ever created, became a shaking wreck of the woman she once was (many events led up to this, but that's an entirely different novel).
I'm trying to create a parallel between the current scene and the one towards the beginning of the story. Kern hit Pen over the head to save her from the fire, Pen punches Kern to keep him from killing the scientist. Kern carried Pen to safety when she was unable to move, Pen is carrying Kern to safety when he refuses to move. In this way, Pen shows that she has become strong enough to overcome her own problems and help others with theirs.

There's my rambling, Chloe; late though it may be. XD

[Kesshin]

For my favorite second mother, on her birthday! Happy birthday, Chloe! ^_^ This story could never have happened without you. So here's another installment; short, just the way you like it. XD

The pounding of feet echoed through the spotless hallways. Joyce had offered several times to carry Kern, but Pen had turned her down with a furious shake of her head. She held tighter to the boy, pretending that his limp weight wasn't at all difficult to manage. His head lolled against her back, heavy as if the rocks in his eyes were real.
The white halls were silent, almost sinister in their peace. Pen wondered if the scientist had been bluffing in his comment about guards, but something told her he hadn't been.
"Wake up, d*** it."
The curse was really for Pen's benefit, rather than Kern's. She grit her teeth. "Stupid."
She ran mental fingers over the yellowing bruise on the back of her head, "So stupid," she echoed.
Pen ran on. She ran like the time she escaped from bounty hunters; like the time flames had surrounded her world and consumed everything in their path. And she tried to run like a short, dark boy carrying someone far too large for his arms.
"So stupid..."

[true_noir_chloe]

Poor Pen.

Thank you so much, for my present. Kesshin, you're so wonderfully great and stupendously fantastic! *hehe* Great section, and also the one before, which I must have forgotten to comment on. Sorry, about that.

You're great, hon. ^________^

[Kesshin]

Sorry I didn’t reply to this sooner. The new semester’s had me piled with homework. -_- Anyway...
Thank you again, Chloe, for your kind words and support. ^__^ I wouldn’t be writing this if it weren’t for you.
I’m running behind on homework, so I’ll have to wait until next weekend for an update. It’ll be a long one, though, to make up for lost time.

[girlninja]

WOW *whistles and claps* yay!!!! awesome sis ^^ reads more* falls over can i get a heartbeat please/ ^^ hehe sorry for the dramatics sis i really like how you are writing this ^^ oh and if you remember me it's churchgirl111 now under a new sn cuz i finally got a new comp ^^ hehe yay! ^^

[Kesshin]

O_O Churchgirl!!!!! You're back! Dang, I missed you. It's been how many months now? And cool new user name, I might add.
Well, anyway....... Welcome back to the CAA, my friend. ^^ So, does this mean you'll go back and finish your story? I hope that's the case.

Speaking of stories, it's high time I updated mine. *heh* So, here we go! A huge, climactic, explosive chapter. I hope. XD
This story is copyrighted by Kesshin, 2004.

Kern sat, immobile, in the darkest corner of his mind. He had pulled his spirit from the other conscious areas and focused it in one place: the mind’s version of the fetal position.
In his shadowy room he lay with his back to the ceiling. Memories washed over him in no particular order; the first time he went to school, a trip to the Bordertown farmers market when he was ten, a chocolate cake Sheila had made for him on his eleventh birthday (or tried to make). She had bought a box of cake mix from the grocer down the street and set to work baking it in the decrepit old headquarters’ oven. It had taken her two hours of tinkering with said oven before she was able to get it to work, and when it finally did the cake came out flat. When Kern came home from school that day he found Sheila sulking in the armory, and Sharon good-naturedly applying icing to a cake with the thickness of a double brownie.
Kern smiled at the memory, a smile like the one on his face when he shyly stretched out his arm to offer cake to his scowling aunt. At first she hadn’t noticed he was there. As he got closer, the sound of his shaky footsteps made her turn around. Silence surrounded them. “Tia Sharon.... she took some stuff from the cabinets, and,â€

[Icarus]

:dance: Update!

[true_noir_chloe]

Great new addition, Kesshin! I'm so glad to see you're still writing on this. ^____^

[Lochaber Axe]

It is quite sad that this story is becoming neglected and slowly being pulled into the abyss that is the forgotten story.

Sad does it become,
The story forever forgotten,
Never to see the literary sun.
Woe to the falling plot,
And weep dear characters weep
For you must now make that lonely trot.

Into the abyss that will take all stories.

FIN

(I am not a poet )

[true_noir_chloe]

Wow Loch, haven't seen you in forever. I really liked your poem - very, very good.

Anyways... where are you Kesshin? We've all been waiting. ~_^

[Lochaber Axe]

Wow Loch, haven't seen you in forever.

Wally World has enslaved me utterly.

I really liked your poem - very, very good.

Domo Arigato, Chloe-sama.

Anyways... where are you Kesshin? We've all been waiting. ~_^

Yes... we are waiting... waiting! See? Even the banana is waiting...

[Kesshin]

Lol, how can I disappoint the banana?

I'm so sorry, guys. I had two essays due last week and five seperate tests in five days. -___- It wasn't pleasant, to say the least.

Since some of you know how old I am, you can probably guess what recently
happened to me academics-wise. Whole new level of schooling. I'm loving every minute of my new school; amazing friends, wonderful teachers (mostly), bishounen piano players.... but that aside...
Still, moving to a higher academic level can sometimes be a real burden. I don't have as much time to focus on my writing as I would like. But rest assured, I will never give up on this story! I care about it, and you guys, far too much to do that.

I give my word as a writing shinobi. T_T *raises right hand* I will not run away, and I won't lose to Sasuke! I swear it, by the pain in my hand- *pauses* Whoo, sorry there. Got swept up in the emotion for a sec.

Saru: That's good that you realize that. Now, put the kunai down...

So here, to seal my promise, is a brand-spanking new installment, just for my Christian otaku writing buddies. XD
Oh, and I liked the poem too, Loch. Thanks.
This story is copyrighted by Kesshin, 2005.

It is one of life's little ironies that the harder you try not to think about something, the more you think about it. Kern found this to be true concerning Ralda. Fragmented images of her found their way into his mind's eye; Ralda showing up on the doorstep, Ralda wolfing down chicken. The small things that made her who she was, like the way she frowned with worry, or the fierceness of her eyes that you would never expect from such a meek person; Kern found himself running over the details almost nostalgically. An alien.
The words stabbed at his gut. It didn't make sense. It was like finding out that the older brother you'd idolized was a drug-dealer, or being told that your mother was actually an axe murderer. Two plus two equals five; it could never happen. Or maybe it could, but it shouldn't.
'It shouldn't be like this,' Kern murmured, 'It shouldn't. It shouldn't.'
He found that he was slowly waking up. This annoyed him; he didn't want to wake up, not when he'd plunged into the depths of self-pity.
He tried sinking back down into his shell, but his mind continued to rise irresistably into consciousness. He opened his eyes.

Kern could feel a steady pounding against his chest, which wasn't too surprising considering there was a shoulder jamming against it. The shoulder was attached to a neck, which was attached to Pen's head.
'Pen.'
He must have said the word aloud, because his companion turned to glance down at him.
"Oh, good. Awake."
The words came out of her mouth shakily, as if she were out of breath. Kern realized that she was. 'She's carrying me?'
"You won't mind," Pen continued, "if I set you down now? I hope you can walk, because those guards will catch up with us pretty soon here."

[Icarus]

It's amazing what you can think up when you're drifitng on the edge of consciousness. Almost as amazing as the speed with which you lose time.

[Kesshin]

Thanks, Icarus. ^^
And now, a badly needed update. Almost done with this story.... *sigh* Getting nostalgic. *heh*
This story is copyrighted by Kesshin, 2005.

Kern winced. This could have been due to the fact that Pen had dropped him rather roughly to the ground, but he suspected that it was something else. Pen's words had pulled him instantly from the mires of his self-pity into a new sensation. Guilt.
He looked up at her. Sweat ran down her apple-red face, making several loose strands of hair stick to her forehead. She had run herself to exhaustion because.... because he had refused to run. That was it. It was his fault.
"I'm pathetic," he announced.
Pen set a shaking hand against the concrete wall, allowing herself a quick rest. Kern almost looked over beside her to where Ralda stood, but pulled his eyes back at the last second, deepening his growing disgust with himself.
"I'm reeeally pathetic."
"Kern," Pen panted, "shut up."
Kern complied. He stared at the spotless floor, convinced that he could hear the pounding of heavily-booted guards not too far off. They would be caught soon. He wondered if the guards would arrest them, feeding the police a story about a bunch of misguided children that decided to break into the factory. More likely they would kill them.
"And stop looking so cheerful," Pen added after several moments of silence from her scowling companion, "I might start to think that you're not taking this seriously."
"It's my fault we're in this mess. I didn't think, I screwed up, and-"
She cut him off. "Kern. You're acting like an idiot. That doesn't mean you are one."
Kern didn't have time to answer before Pen had pulled him to his feet. "Let's get going."
Kern and Ralda nodded their agreement, and they were off again. Kern couldn't resist commenting as they dashed through the spotless halls, "You know, you've gotten a lot like Laowra lately."
Pen wasted a precious breath on a laugh. "Scary, isn't it?"
Kern nodded. "Yes. Very scary."
He heard another laugh, this time coming from his other side, and very nearly looked over at Ralda. He knew he'd have to, eventually, but for now he didn't think it was possible to do so just yet without falling to pieces. It was safer to just keep running. Running was such a mechanical thing, almost hypnotic in the way it required so little brainpower. He became absorbed with the task at hand, until a hand on his shoulder pulled him back from his daze. Kern stopped dead in his tracks, more from the shock of whom the hand belonged to than anything else. He had to consciously fight to keep from brushing it off.
"This is the place," Ralda breathed.

XD Another cliffhanger. The operatives are about to encounter the man behind everything. To be honest, the prospect kind of unnerves me. But I will try to do my best. ^^

[Lochaber Axe]

Itty bitty suggestion: I wouldn't stretch out words such as "reeeally". It is best to use italics to show increased emotion in the word.

Now since you are heading toward the climax of the story, remember that this is the most important part of the story. This is Minas Tirith, The Battle of the Bulge, Act. 5, Scene 2 of Hamlet... this is the finest moment of the story. Put your heart and mind into it and awaken the emotions that you have aluded to! Bring humanity into the pages!

How the scenes do change
To end the pain
Of injustice.

[true_noir_chloe]

It's late and I finally remembered I have been reading your updates on my email, since I'm subscribed to this thread, and keep forgetting to come over and comment. I am so sorry, Kesshin.

Wow, I can't believe this is coming to an end. What will you do when you finish? Please, take a deep breath, leave it for a week and then go back and do an entire read-through with pencil-in-hand. You'll be doing editing now. That's the fun part --- okay, not really, but it is needed when you write. (-__-)\;;;

I have no big comments on these last posts. I hope Kern becomes Ralda's friend once again.

I'm glad you haven't given up and are keeping up with this. ^_____^