Another poem - please comment!

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Another poem - please comment!

Postby Gekkeiju » Sat Jul 10, 2004 6:47 am

:jump: Here's another poem I wrote. This one was actually based on something that happened... more or less. Please comment ;)

Forsaken Love

I wanted to say 'I like you,'
To confess my crazy love.
Whene'er I had thoughts of you,
My soul flew like a dove.

My heart was ever willing,
My flesh and bones were weak.
Whenever I was near you,
I could barely even speak.
I never used my chances;
I let them all pass by.
After every time it happened,
I'd tilt my head and cry.

Over a year had passed
And you found out indirectly.
But when I heard that you just laughed
I knew you didn't respect me.

I tried to leave my love forsaken
And put it all behind.
But even if I try to forget,
It will never leave my mind.

Now I mourn with a broken heart
That nothing can seem to mend.
Before you could even let them start,
You put our chances to end.
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Read my poems in the Writing section of the forums and at my website
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Postby Kesshin » Sun Jul 11, 2004 1:27 pm

That was really good! :thumb: It must have taken you awhile to fit all the words together just right. Are you going to post more?
"Consider the lilies of the field. They neither sew nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as one of these. If God so clothes the grass, which is in the field one day and cast into the oven the next, how much more will he clothe you, o ye of little faith?
-Luke 12:27-28
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-CAA's official writing shinobi.

"Mostly I write action/adventure, and while I dislike romance, I seem to end up doing it and I've been told I do so well. To that I give a cliche "Feh.""
-uc pseudonym
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Postby Angelchick » Sun Jul 11, 2004 1:30 pm

nice poem, i think it's really good.
everywhere i go i can't escape your energy - Skillet

this isn't war, but these are still battles
and battles make it all die out - Dead Poetic

Sometimes I don't know
Where I am
Where I'll be - A Thorn For Every Heart
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Postby Saru » Sun Jul 11, 2004 1:35 pm

Awesome poem, Gekkeiju! :) I could never do anything as good as that. Hope you post more. ^^
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