The Wand of Random Creatures

[SierraLea]

Well, this is marvelous! I love giving useful presents, even if I'm smaller than usual.
I'm on a Narnia kick right now, sooooooooooooooo... you shall be a retired star.

[Abassi]

Narnia! Well now it's inevitable I'm afraid...

You're a Dufflepud!

[SierraLea]

Well everyone already calls me a wet blanket, what's the difference?
You are now Sekmet.

[Abassi]

I suppose the cheerful disposition might be the main thing.

Alright, resisting the urge to cat for cat we'll go with--a bicorn!

[SierraLea]

Man, I got some weird stuff when I typed that is. Autocorrect does some weird stuff. And thank you for the cool new animal!
You are now a Dust Devil.

[Abassi]

The whirling fun kind, right? Also, yeah, never trust autocorrect! I don't use it and I spwel jus fien.

I'm quickly going to start forgetting things I've done but lets see...ah! *vablash* A banshee!

[SierraLea]

WHAT!? I don't want to scream. Do you know how quickly that ruins your vocal chords? I'll never sing again.
You are Horus, and yes I mean the falcon-headed egyptian god.

[Abassi]

I mean maybe you're the quiet type of banshee, just hanging out by them there fair folk mounds.
But do I get powered armor like the Horus in the Gods of Egypt movie? Because, obviously, being a falcon-headed deity isn't enough! Gotta have powered armor!

*vablash* Serpopard you be!

[SierraLea]

No, you don't get cool armor. So now, I can rip you to shreds with my kitty claws. Seriously, we're back to felines?
You're Apophis.

[Abassi]

Felines are the finest. Sadly I read 'Apophis' and all I can think of is Stargate--and I've never even watched Stargate!

Alright, here we go--*VABLASH!* You're a menninkainen!

[SierraLea]

Hmm, I'm a subspecies of fey. This could be worse. And I do enjoy riddles.
You're a troll. You can decide what kind.

[Abassi]

A glorious mountain toll! But not the kind those Norwegian kings talk into putting up steeples on churches then trick into falling off...because that's just not fun! Maybe a bridge troll would be better...

*vablash* You shall be--a nguruvilu!

[SierraLea]

At least it's a fox-ish creature this time. I have non-retractable claws.
You are a Meretseger.

[Abassi]

You know, I wasn't actually familiar with that one...sssssimply marveloussss!

*VABLASH!* Thou art now a goblin! Specifically the kind from the 1977 animated Hobbit movie; loosen up those vocal cords, you've got a lot of singing to do! "Fifteen birds in five fir trees, their feathers were fanned in a fiery breeze. What funny little birds - they had no wings. Oh, what shall we do with the funny little things? Oh, what shall we do with the funny little things?"

[SierraLea]

Dude, I already sing plenty. My vocals need no loosening. But that's just not nice!
You shall be a thunder dragon.

[Abassi]

But everyone loves a singing goblin!

For some reason I feel like, as a thunder dragon, I should start a heavy metal rock band.

*VABLASH!* Worst of the worst, most hated and cursed is this thing you now shalt be--a Care Bear! You could be like Fun Shine and make the sun shine or have a heart like Laugh-a-Lot! Or be like Wish Bear and always be there--something, something, Care-A-Lot!

[SierraLea]

Why didn't you just make me one of the seven dwarves and get it over with?
Fine, then you're a telatubby.

[Abassi]

AUGH, hey now, at least the care bears were cool back in the day! Sheesh!
*VABLASH* You are now a Psotnik.

[SierraLea]

You are evil. Very Evil.
Therefore, you are an Orc.