Dealing With Lust (Mature Members Only)

[Animeniac]

I've been dealing with Lust and sexual thoughts recently and would like fellow brothers and sisters in christ to pray for me and post how they are dealing with it.

My way is reading Proverbs and avoiding online (well not now LOL)

I would love to hear your testimony.

My testimony is this.

I started P*rn when I was 13 (I'm 20 now) and was addicted. Until one night I had a dream that I saw my future wife and she told me to wait. But 2 years later I met a girl online and we ended up s*xting for a year. I got caught by my parents and went to counseling for 4 months. My counselor had to leave. I was alone. Until one night the dream happened again and after that I was p*rn free for 11 months. I relapsed in December, but haven't done it since. God has been gracious to me.

Thank you and I look forward to growing in christ with you.

[ADXC]

Yeah it's always been something that I've dealt with. In recent years it's been very difficult due to isolation and confusion over my orientation. It's very easy to relapse when you have an idle mind so recently I've just been filling it up with a minor project that I've been working on and reading more scripture. Also, some medication has helped me out some recently since I also have anxiety and depression so the meds help with that as well.

It's not usually a subject I like talking about because well, most people just don't want to hear it and usually look down on you for it for whatever reason. I've never been able to talk with my parents about it and hardly any with my friends, although I do have one friend I can kinda talk about it with now.

I wish I got dreams like you did about your future spouse (provided they are actual visions, which can be hard to determine.), but I've not had any such luck. I think I'm just plagued to be single for my life, but I'll deal with it somehow. As far as friends to lean on, I don't really have any besides one, who's actually moving away soon. I suppose I am used to being alone though at this point; however, it does help to air out this stuff on a forum every once in a while.

[Animeniac]

Exactly. Same with me I have a friend I can talk to also. He has same problems, the way we hold each other accountable is he's Ryu and I'm Ken and we "train against the dark hadou" I might have to take meds al. I have anger issues and don't know how to shut up. So maybe meds will help.

[Mullet Death]

If you lasted 11 months without porn or fapping, then if anything, you should be giving US advice! That really was a good streak, and more importantly, I'm certain your life at the time was way better off for it, even if you didn't fully realize it. It's great that you haven't relapsed again for another month, and I hope you didn't binge when you did relapse in December.

I think that's one of the most important things to hold on to when trying to deal with this issue. You must firmly grasp how much your life improves when you aren't using that filth. That way you feel when it doesn't have a hold over you. Life is just better when you don't have anything to do with porn.

Apart from that realization, I can't really say how I'm "dealing with it," since I'm not, really. But I do know that it can only be conquered a day at a time, and by the grace of God. I'll just keep trucking on, hopefully to 90 days without it and beyond. That's the first goal, and then simply living a better life is the goal I can see beyond that.

I'm not really in a position to tell my story at the moment. I'd need some more clarity and another hard and honest look back at my life.

[Okami]

I've been battling pornography since I was eleven. It's always been all the more "taboo" because I'm a woman, making it much more difficult to get help!

Without going into too much detail, I'll be straight forward: the lure to porn does not go away once you get married. If anything, I have learned I must be on greater guard now than I ever was when single. See 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Not only must I now worry of the Lord's things, but also my husband's. 

It's easy to fall into the trap of making sex into an idol - after all, it's saturated into our culture. And it seems so easy coming from the media. That's why addictions often continue after the wedding day; real intimacy is hard work. Two people coming together as one is commitment: in time, energy, understanding....communication is vital in all aspects of marriage and every little detail will seep into the bedroom. 

A marriage is a unity, a partnership; my beloved is my best friend. Sex is what offsets this one relationship from any other, making husband and wife in a consummated marriage. This is why 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 is so important, though it often (sadly) goes overlooked in today's church.

Churches and Christians in general tend to stifle discussion on sex, making it taboo or hush-hush, and that to me is a huge mistake. This makes sex out to be "bad", and because of a broken purity movement many struggle to see upon entering marriage that sex really is a good thing... For me, it's an act of worship to give myself mind/body/spirit in my entirety to my husband. In a society that is sex-driven we should be teaching the truth straight from God's Word. Sex in its rightful place (marriage) is GOOD! 1 Corinthians 7 and Song of Songs alone have a lot to say on the matter, and those are just the two "obvious" areas that come to me.

Regarding lust, Scripture helped me throw off the weight of shame and guilt that I carried into this relationship....chains that I carried for fourteen years have been broken. It taught me to better appreciate the dynamic that Christ has laid before us, His bride - the love that He gives so freely, that my spouse has shown likewise...it's a reminder that the best is yet to come!

In the end, marriage means taking on more responsibility in the fight against lust. Satan wants to destroy what's sacred; we have to hold firm to what is true.

[Animeniac]

Thanks for the encouragement Mullet Death, and Okami thanks for sharing that. I personally think THAT'S why I'm still single...If I date I may end up in bed w/her....before marriage.

My advice Mullet Death is to find an interest that reflects on God.
Mine is reading Tedd Dekker, drawing anime and Writing my Manga

plus avoid internet. Even if it means you don't log on here.

Keep at it Mullet!

[K. Ayato]

It's not enough to just cut porn out of your life. You have to fill that void left behind with something productive and meaningful. In many cases, that's drawing closer to God and volunteering the time you now had in serving others. It's the same with my job in applying ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) techniques. You can't stop the client from doing an unwanted behavior without providing and encouraging an alternative behavior you want to increase.

Granted, I'm not saying this all as a bystander. I've recently become single again and there's a void left in me. It's easy to turn to things like porn to give some kind of satisfaction.

[Animeniac]

I use drawing to fill my void but I still have temptations....

[TheChocolateGamer]

The only way to deal with lust is to do it through the Holy Spirit with the fruit of self-control