Midori wrote:No I understand the principle, I just wouldn't have thought such a tiny difference would matter so much. Objects in the natural world aren't usually arranged on a perfect rectilinear grid anyway, so I wouldn't think one's eyes and brain would mind such small variations in the angles of things.
K. Ayato wrote:But what about actual CLASSES? Life drawing, in particular.
EHeroAndrew wrote:I've read those books. I have a bunch of how to draw comics/manga books. Some were helpful, some weren't.
I also like using the quote from Bakuman, "The best rescource for manga is manga". So the manga I read and take artistic inspiration from are Dragonball Z, Fairy Tail and Naruto.
EHeroAndrew wrote:K. Ayato wrote:But what about actual CLASSES? Life drawing, in particular.
I have an Associates in Arts. I took 2 semesters of life drawing. If you want proof I can take pictures of my stuff and send them to you through email or PM.
invaderv93 wrote:Oh boy. Sorry to rain on your parade, EHero, but I'm not a fan thus far. I do think your work is salvageable however. You have put in some admirable effort and, as Davidizer earlier said, deserve credit for actually, tangibly working on a project. The concept, while a little generic and heavy-handed, is also not the worst thing I've ever seen and could be cleaned up nicely.
However, you have quite a bit of work to do.
Here are my basic criticisms:
1) Stylistically the comic is rather disappointing. You've set it in a sort of cyberpunk setting, which piqued my interest at first as that aesthetic gives you a lot of room to develop an interesting, unique world for your story. However the art is rather flat and average - good enough on a technical level but just not very interesting to look at - and the decision to couple this simple style with black-and-white coloring is a poor one. Cyberpunk is famous for it's juxtaposition of bright colors and shadows. Complexity of both the art itself and the coloring is key. If you made the world a little more complex and gave the reader more to look at, then you could get away with a black-and-white, traditional manga-like color scheme. But if you're going to stick to a simple setting, then you at least need some degree of color, otherwise there is literally nothing to catch the eye and distinguish your manga from the pack. You are working in a visual medium, so you must have good, compelling visuals.
2) Your characters thus far are bland at best and laughable at worst (and your choice of names do not help this). Stylistically the characters are nothing new (to the point where it could be kind of a legal problem; Natural Selection looks exactly like Nightwing) and writing-wise they're far too archetypal. None of them seem to have any personality nuances beyond what is expected of their character "type." They are roles, not people, and if you want people to take your message seriously you need to make all parties involved (yes, even the antagonists/people who's ideas you disagree with) sound at least somewhat like actual, fairly reasonable human beings. As it stands, your characters (especially the antagonists) are incredibly one-dimensional and unbelievably, almost robotically radical in their opinions. It feels too simple, almost spiteful even, and makes the manga's ideals seem more childish than they otherwise would be.
3) Can we get a little bit more backstory for the characters/setting and a more thorough look at the world and the issues at stake for all parties involved? This would certainly help with the development issues.
4) Lastly, what exactly is the relationship between Mel and Eva? I got the impressions they are adopted siblings, in which case (even if they are not blood relatives) many of the things Mel says to her are kind of disturbing and seriously damage his likability as a protagonist. If a guy in a story keeps telling his own sister how hot she looks, I am not inclined to think of him as a hero.
Best of luck.
EHeroAndrew wrote:invaderv93 wrote:A good post.
Sorry that you feel that way.
EHeroAndrew wrote:And it is a very nice book for any aspiring comic artist to have. It's pretty much just one big comic about making comics lol.
Ante Bellum wrote:Hey, come here, I'm going to let you in on a little secret, no big deal, it's just that oh I don't know THE BREASTS ARE STILL IMPOSSIBLY HUGE AND THE WOMEN STILL LOOK THE SAME AND YOU ACTUALLY REMOVED AGE LINES FROM AN OLD WOMAN INSTEAD OF MAKING HER LOOK UNIQUE YOU SEXIST HACK.
EHeroAndrew wrote:Ante Bellum wrote:Hey, come here, I'm going to let you in on a little secret, no big deal, it's just that oh I don't know THE BREASTS ARE STILL IMPOSSIBLY HUGE AND THE WOMEN STILL LOOK THE SAME AND YOU ACTUALLY REMOVED AGE LINES FROM AN OLD WOMAN INSTEAD OF MAKING HER LOOK UNIQUE YOU SEXIST HACK.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm8xRvoQkc0
Ante Bellum wrote:Poor babby, he just can't stand the thought of any women not fitting into his ideal.
EHeroAndrew wrote:Well better buckle up, missy, because they are here to stay. I'm staying the course.
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