Postby Zarn Ishtare » Tue Feb 12, 2013 4:40 pm
Don't. Let me warn you now,and try to save you a portion of the struggle; what you write, when you write with the desire to express something, is much more important than an attempt to sound 'serious'. If there is a seriousness in you that should be described, do it; if there is a 'babyish' feeling in you that you wish to express, express it. What a poet writes is the truth, whether it is written starkly or veiled and disguised by the private symbolism of the poet.
For me, I liked the poem. It has a beautiful, simplistic quality to it. Don't disregard it or despise it for what makes it a good poem. That inner bit that came from you to the page, however big or small that bit is, has more worth than a thousand 'expertly written' poems. I'll finish with a thought; when you feel free to express something in you, like the child within, or something that is pure and simple, you give permission to all the people who read it to do so as well. There is fear in going first; but when you do so you free others to follow in the wake.