Well, this chorus from an old hymn has been getting me through life right now:
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives
Because my Savior is alive, I have hope --I don't have to fear the future. He has conquered death. He is with me through all of this --all the doctors, tests, pain, fatigue, neurological stuff --I do not go through any of it alone. And He has a plan for me yet --I don't know what, but I know He does (because I am still here!)
So instead of worrying about the future, my goal is to take life one day at a time --enjoy each day and make the most of it --whether I have the energy to go serve/meet with friends/etc. or whether I need a day to rest. Worrying doesn't do any good --it doesn't change anything --so why do it?
This poem describes what I'm trying to say really well:
No chance hath brought this ill to me;
'Tis God's own hand, so let it be,
He seeth what I cannot see.
There is a need-be for each pain,
And He one day will make it plain
That earthly loss is heavenly gain.
Like as a piece of tapestry
Viewed from the back appears to be
Naught but threads tangled hopelessly;
But in the front a picture fair
Rewards the worker for his care,
Proving his skill and patience rare.
Thou art the Workman, I the frame.
Lord, for the glory of Thy Name,
Perfect Thine image on the same.
--Selected
God has a purpose for my pain --it is not meaningless. I feel a calling to advocate for persons with disabilities and chronic illnesses --that I can definitely still do (with God's help).
Remember that suffering and pain are not meaningless --I know I have seen God take some seriously ugly stuff that has happened and turn it into something amazingly beautiful --a testimony to be shared with a broken world.
(I hope this all makes sense. I typed out thoughts I had and wanted to share, but I just pulled an all-nighter, so I'm not sure how coherent it is).
