Cognitive Gear (post: 1513115) wrote:I await the response letter that asks men to stop generalizing.
I've had the reverse experience, actually. The girl would say something very simple, and then later would wonder why one earth I took her at her word for it, instead of knowing that she actually meant something quite different.
For instance, when talking about pizza: "I like pepperoni."
2 hours later: "Why didn't you order pizza when I asked you to?"
Me: "You didn't." Her: "When we were talking about pizza earlier!" Me: "No, I'm pretty sure you didn't." Her: "Oh, I didn't ask directly, but that's what I meant when I said that I like pepperoni." Me: "..."
No joke, this actually happened, and no, it wasn't a joke and it happened with everything from pizza to me not realizing that she was considering the hangout we had the previous week to be a date.
This is not a joke, this actually happened.
Rusty Claymore (post: 1513114) wrote:I'm a man, but I can change. If I have to. I guess...
Xeno (post: 1513128) wrote:Quoted for emphasis.
Us guys can just as easily read too much into something a woman says. Stop generalizing.
Yamamaya (post: 1513130) wrote:Not all women do this, but many do.
In my experience, moreso than males.
K. Ayato (post: 1513120) wrote:Newflash: Not all women do this.
Cognitive Gear (post: 1513115) wrote:I await the response letter that asks men to stop generalizing.
I've had the reverse experience, actually. The girl would say something very simple, and then later would wonder why one earth I took her at her word for it, instead of knowing that she actually meant something quite different.
For instance, when talking about pizza: "I like pepperoni."
2 hours later: "Why didn't you order pizza when I asked you to?"
Me: "You didn't." Her: "When we were talking about pizza earlier!" Me: "No, I'm pretty sure you didn't." Her: "Oh, I didn't ask directly, but that's what I meant when I said that I like pepperoni." Me: "..."
No joke, this actually happened, and no, it wasn't a joke and it happened with everything from pizza to me not realizing that she was considering the hangout we had the previous week to be a date.
This is not a joke, this actually happened.
ShiroiHikari (post: 1513176) wrote:Miscommunication happens with both genders, but I have noticed that a lot of women tend to expect men to read their minds. It's better to just come out and say what you want instead of expecting the other person to just figure it out on their own.
For the record, I wasn't offended in any way by what you said, Yama. I read it as being mostly sarcastic and written in the heat of the moment, but I didn't find it offensive.
aliveinHim (post: 1513148) wrote:I know I'm pretty stupid but I don't read too much into things.
Radical Dreamer (post: 1513166) wrote:This is the most ridiculous story I have ever heard in my life. XDD I've never really known someone to be THAT vague with what they say or perceive from others. XD That seems more like living in an alternate reality than anything. XD
As for the OP, I think it is a pretty huge generalization to assume that every woman overanalyzes the things you say. More importantly though, I think it's a little unfair (read: that's an understatement) to demand that women change the way you believe them to be wired, without offering any changes yourself. Maybe women misunderstand the things you say because you aren't communicating efficiently enough. Or maybe women are perceiving the things you say in a different light than you intend because you just weren't thinking about how you were communicating in other factors, like body language, tone of voice, etc. (we do pay attention to all those factors).
If women are guilty of overanalysis, maybe men (not all men, lest I make a terrible generalization) are guilty of not understanding the way women are wired to think and operate. What needs to happen is not a core change in either gender, but a willingness to understand the way another person thinks and feels, and then to keep that in mind when you interact with that individual. This is regardless of whether you're a woman who needs to remember to take the things your male friends say at face value sometimes, or if you're a man who needs to remember to communicate more effectively with your female friends, to keep from causing any unwanted confusion. Communication is a two-way street, and misunderstandings come when both sides are failing to do it properly, not only when a woman is being "unreasonable (and that's a whole different issue that I won't get into here XD)."
Hats wrote:"Frodo! Cast off your [s]sins[/s] into the fire!"
Radical Dreamer (post: 1513166) wrote:This is the most ridiculous story I have ever heard in my life. XDD I've never really known someone to be THAT vague with what they say or perceive from others. XD That seems more like living in an alternate reality than anything. XD
If women are guilty of overanalysis, maybe men (not all men, lest I make a terrible generalization) are guilty of not understanding the way women are wired to think and operate. What needs to happen is not a core change in either gender, but a willingness to understand the way another person thinks and feels, and then to keep that in mind when you interact with that individual. This is regardless of whether you're a woman who needs to remember to take the things your male friends say at face value sometimes, or if you're a man who needs to remember to communicate more effectively with your female friends, to keep from causing any unwanted confusion. Communication is a two-way street, and misunderstandings come when both sides are failing to do it properly, not only when a woman is being "unreasonable (and that's a whole different issue that I won't get into here XD)."
Neane (post: 1513220) wrote:Facts Please?
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