Mature prayer topics (older or mature members only, please)

[Nate]

My opinion would be completely contradictory to anything anyone else here would say, so I'll keep my mouth shut about that. However, I will pray that you can feel better about this whole situation, and can go on to have a happy and wonderful marriage.

[Okami]

I originally wanted to put this in general [since I believe it's more suited for there...^^], but only the prayer room allows anonymous posts, so I hope this is ok. I am in need of prayer anyways.

Long story short, it seems as though I may be able to get married. Under normal circumstances this type of thing would be really great! I've been in love with this man for several years and our parents are both very supportive of us being together. So how could it be bad? Well, a topic in the general actually kind of brought the issue up [the Purity thread]. .__.

"But doing it outside of marriage... Well... That's a toughy... It's of course, wrong. Yes, I know that fer shizzles. But it's also like, once you do it, God considers you married."

This was a quote said in there and I totally agreed and understood what it meant. The Bible makes a HUGE point about how once two people have sex, they become one person. So my problem? I'm still a virgin and have never had sex, but when I was younger, I did do something extremely foolish. I had "cyber sex" with someone.

I know this sounds really dumb to people. I never had physical sex, so I use to assume I wasn't joined to him, but then I started thinking back on how 'if you lust after someone, you committed adultery' and how if you hate someone it's the same as a murder. Now I've began to question if it is proper for me to ever get married. ._.

Again, I'm REALLY aware how stupid this sounds to most people. ><;; Most people wouldn't give it the time of day, and I guess part of me almost wishes I didn't. But I can't just pretend it didn't happen. It also doesn't help Paul made that comment about how all other sins are outside the body, but sexual sin isn't. Part of me thinks that was merely a cultural comment. Back then sexual sin always WAS physical, so it wasn't like you could do cyber sex or phone sex or whatever like today, but then I think "what if"?

Back when this all happened, I was only 14 or 15 years old. I believed in God and Jesus and stuff, but had yet to truly turn and commit my life to Him, hence why I did something so dumb. As soon as I figured it out though, I stopped, I just wish I wouldn't have done it at all. Now I almost feel like loving my boyfriend is some weird form of adultery and I can never get married, except to this guy who's last name I don't even remember.

Long story short, is there anyone out there who can help me? This issue is so embarrassing to bring up. I know people will probably read it and laugh and think it's ridiculous since nothing physically did happen, but I've become so sad over it...

The first thing that comes to mind is that sexual sin and temptation are not unforgiveable. He can purify you from your past, removing the deed as far from you as east is from the west. Of course, consequence for your action still remains. In a sin situation, it can often present itself as guilt or shame.

It's true that in sex (any form, really) a person leaves a piece of themselves with that other person. It's seen to be true in how you feel about it now. But I would dare to say that if you turn from it and run to God and allow Him to take it, you're free. It's in the past, and His mercies are new every morning.

Hope this helps,
God bless.

[ChristianKitsune]

It's amazing that we just covered this topic last night at my college group. (It was a Q and A night and someone asked about something similar to this)

Okami is right on about this. This type of thing IS forgivable, so ask for forgiveness and be forgiven. God doesn't want this to hold you captive! He has set you FREE!

I also truly believe that Virginity is more a mindset than a physical matter. And I believe that God can renew that in you, (especially since you havent' done anything physically)

Maybe you can be honest with your fiance' and tell him of your mistakes in the past, That way you can ask for his forgiveness too.

But I think too many times we do get hung up on this whole "Virginity" thing, and our relationships shouldn't be JUST about that, our relationships should bring glory to God, and I believe from the way you are talking that is what you are kind of desiring to do.

So don't worry about it, I don't think this is something that should stop you from getting married. ^^;

Thanks for having the courage to ask for help though! I'll be praying for you.

[MrKrillz0r]

I think Okami and ChristanKitsune is completely right about this. ^^

Now to my own problem.. Its kinda embarrassing. T_T

Anyway, in my past I've been addicted to porn, but Jesus helped me out of the addiction which I am really thankful for. But even so, I continued to masturbate and well, I was more or less addicted to that as well. But as time went on I was making progress and I did it less, but at the time I didn't think it was a sin so I never completely stopped. But recently I've decided to quit doing it at all. (I'm still not sure whether it is sinful or not, but for me personally I know this is the right way to go). The problem is that I now get wet dreams, pretty often as well. I've looked this up as I did not know why it kept happening and I found out that even though many seem to think that this is completely normal if your not sexual active in any way and the body need to find its own way to "release". But on the other hand there is some people who believe this is caused by spiritual attacks, and that its possible to get rid of this. This makes me really worried and I feel guilty whenever I have one of those dreams, sometimes its so bad that I wake up just thinking of how useless I am.

Personally, after reading more about it I feel like the right answer would be that its a natural reaction, but I'm not 100% sure.

Anyone got any thoughts about this?

*Don't worry about that part of me thinking of how useless I am, I know I am not and its foolish.*

[shooraijin]

It's normal for males to build up a certain amount of semen (the seminal vesicles always produce it), and nocturnal emissions simply relieve the back pressure. They're in and of themselves not related to anything specific; see also spermarche and semenarche.

I've heard those "spiritual attack" claims, and frankly that is an example of people not understanding the biological processes involved.

[MrKrillz0r]

Thanks for posting your thoughts about this. After praying and thinking about it for a while I've come to believe that its as you say, and I will stop to worry about this matter. Hearing someone else's opinion and reading some about it really helped out. ^__^

[Dr.Faust]

Been really bad this week. If you already haven't seen any of my post I've been preety stressed out about conspirecy theries and it just got to me. It don't help the fact that i was already stressed out. well now i'm over that but it just sucks that i've messed up the past 6 days. I'm going to talk to me band directer and ask him to be my accountibility partner. I just got my laptop fixed so i have to get some kind of protection. and suddgestions

[Sheenar]

I really want to be a godly woman --one that a man of God would want to marry. Yet I've messed up over and over with the committment I made here a while back. It disgusts me, yet I keep returning to it. I really want this stop.

Please pray.

[bkilbour]

Sheenar, I will! Don't give up - I know in the Lord that it's gonna be okay
I have had to deal with the same frustration before, and I don't think that I go through it as badly as I used to, because I've learned a few things.

If God has forgiven us, then it's okay for me to forgive ourselves. We don't have to be so hard on ourselves that we end up being tempted again - the frustration I had with my own addictions only feuled further temptation later on.

Having to struggle with sexual urges doesn't make us less godly - everyone who dedicates their lives to Christ will, at one point or another, have to struggle with it; it makes us more godly to be able to speak openly about it, instead of hiding it.

God rewards patience, especially when it's being patient with ourselves and the way we are made. You can do it! Keep pressing on!

[fermy6]

Well my friend just pressured me to do sexual stuff with him and after a few No's I gave in to he's request (we did it before but that time I never gave myself completely to God)....after we finished he just said thanku in a cheeky way and left the room.....I feel used, dirty and sick to my stomach.....Please don't give into anyone who wants to use you for their own sexual pleasure and always be cautious about how someone touches u and their intentions.....I know I'm gonna have to explain this to my future partner and I'm telling you guys now that its not worth it at all.....Always pay attention to Gods voice because he didn't want me to get hurt like this and he's rules are there to protect you

[ChristianKitsune]

Fermy6,
Words can't describe how sorry I am that this happened to you. Thank you for being so brave to explain something as painful as this...

We are all precious, precious gifts and so are you Fermy. No matter what just happened to you you are not dirty you are deeply loved by a God who created you. Please know that.

I'm sorry... ._. but thank you for your advice to all the members here on CAA...

[J.D3]

My friend, like CK I can't express how sorry I feel that this has happened to you & greatly appreciate your being so brave and honest; using a bad situation for good by warning others. It's very humbling to hear.

I'm not sure if this passage will help in anyway. I don't want to bombard you with well-intentioned but not entirely appropriate 'comfort' verses or indeed seek to insensitively 'tell you what to do now', but I thought this may be of some help to you. It's a little long, but I hope that it is helpful & will be a blessing to you.

[quote="Pslam 73"]

Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.

But as for me, my feet had almost slipped]

God bless you Fermy, & remember that He ALWAYS loves & keeps you as His child; regardless of what you may do or what others have done to you in the past, present and future.

The blood of our Lord & Brother Jesus Christ has made eternally sure of that!

[K. Ayato]

*Hugs* I understand how you must be feeling, but take comfort in knowing God is still willing to forgive you. Also, it took a lot of guts to share this here, so I admire your courage. PM me if you ever just need to talk and get something off your chest.

[Sapphire225]

Aw, Fermy...don't worry, God still loves you and is always willing to forgive you. Don't feel as though you've lost any worth, because you are just as precious as you were when He created you. I am really sorry this happend to you.

[Sheenar]

I wish I knew what to say. I want to echo what others here have said --you are still very, very precious in the eyes of God and still loved more than can be imagined.
You were very brave to share here about what happened. I am sorry that it happened to you.

[fermy6]

thanx for everything i love you all so much....ive definantly learned to look out for the warning signs....I also feel much better than this morning.....I hope you guys learned from my mistake

[Nightshade X]

I'm sorry you went through this, man. This is actually a very familiar story to me, so if you need someone to talk to in the future, please feel free to look me up. I know what you're going through (well... it was a girl who did stuff to me, but that's the only difference, I think).

[shooraijin]

I think due to the nature of this thread, I'll merge it with the Mature prayer thread -- this is probably not a good choice for General.

[Solid Ronin]

[mod snip: Please try to be respectful of others Rudeness vs. Respect ]

[Atria35]

^ Ronin, I don't think that's funny in the least. He was basically coerced into sex. That's not cool no matter what your sexual orientation is.

Have some class.

[solidray2002]

I agree with Atria.
Also, if the issue is concerning homosexuality, I would highly suggest visiting "christopheryuan.com" He was a professor of mine at Moody Bible Institute, an incredible man. He has an incredible story and solid views/advice on this matter. Watch the videos of his on the site.

[Solid Ronin]

^ Ronin, I don't think that's funny in the least. He was basically coerced into sex. That's not cool no matter what your sexual orientation is.

Have some class.

Class won't help him. Now if you'll excuse me its clearly up to me to actually do something here.

[goldenspines]

Though, this is neither the time nor place to be condemning or disrespectful. If you want to help, do so in a respectful way, even if you do dislike the actions others are taking.

That being said, this will stop. Everyone, move on with encouragement and prayer for those hurting in this thread.

[mysngoeshere56]

Hey guys. I'm not sure how many of you've seen my previous post, but back in January I posted a request for prayer as I battle my temptation for self-injury. If you want more details about my history with it, you can feel free to read that post. I think it's on page 16. But anyway, an update...

I've been doing pretty well for the past few months, but things have gotten exceptionally tough these past two or three weeks. While I've been through harder times, it's been a long time since things have gotten this bad. As such, my urges have returned and are incredibly strong. I seriously can hardly even believe that I can still be *this* tempted to give in. I trimmed my nails a few days ago, and this was one of the reasons why.

I've been trying to get into the Word, but I'm not sure exactly what to read at this time. I've sought fellowship, but most people are too busy to talk to me very much. Even my counselor. The only person who spends enough time with me to really help is my mom, and she's at a loss when it comes to how to help me.

And so... I just not sure about what to do anymore. :-/ *sigh* I'm doing my best to have faith and not give in, but it's a lot easier said than done.

[Atria35]

I'm so sorry to hear that, MySn. So you have nothing in particular that you'd like to read up on?

One of the books I enjoy reading when I don't feel thast I know what I'd like to read about in the Bible is My Year Of Living Biblically. Yes, it doesn't really have a 'study' of Scripture, it's just about a man who decides to follow the Bible as-is as he tries to get into religion. It gives me a different perspective, and sometimes I'll find inspiration from there since he follows both the Old and New Testaments.

[J.D3]

Hey guys. I'm not sure how many of you've seen my previous post, but back in January I posted a request for prayer as I battle my temptation for self-injury. If you want more details about my history with it, you can feel free to read that post. I think it's on page 16. But anyway, an update...

I've been doing pretty well for the past few months, but things have gotten exceptionally tough these past two or three weeks. While I've been through harder times, it's been a long time since things have gotten this bad. As such, my urges have returned and are incredibly strong. I seriously can hardly even believe that I can still be *this* tempted to give in. I trimmed my nails a few days ago, and this was one of the reasons why.

I've been trying to get into the Word, but I'm not sure exactly what to read at this time. I've sought fellowship, but most people are too busy to talk to me very much. Even my counselor. The only person who spends enough time with me to really help is my mom, and she's at a loss when it comes to how to help me.

And so... I just not sure about what to do anymore. :-/ *sigh* I'm doing my best to have faith and not give in, but it's a lot easier said than done.

Whoever says being a Christian is easy should read the posts on this thread!

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles with this temptation, MySyn.
I can't say I have huge experience with what you're going through - of which you're very, very brave to tackle (many people sadly choose not to, so God bless you for taking action in this!) However, I can relate in that I know myself what it's like to fight & struggle with something that you can't necessarily hear, touch or see, and is (in part) from yourself. It's tough - to say the least!

I'm by no means a councillor, but one book that I've been reading & I thought of when thinking about this is Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer.
It is an excellent help if you're struggling with negative or destructive mindsets/habits, and I highly recommend taking a serious look at it (along with God's Word of course!) It answered many questions I had, & offers clear, practical advice too.

Also, only if you wish to read, I found a couple verses that I hope you can find helpful in some way.

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD’]

(And this, which I thought was important to note, from the Intro to Joyce Meyer's book)

For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.

May God bless you my friend & I hope (& know) that through Him and His work being done within & through you that you can conquer & gain victory those things that are causing you so much grief once & for all, in Jesus' Mighty Name!

[fermy6]

you're on the right path to healing.....will be praying

[Riggidig]

The thing about kids cutting on youtube....
Biting myself used to be something I did in secret (for some really insne reasons). I didn't want anyone to know. I pray that this new generation will be helped - especially since it's so out in the open now.

I once nearly ripped a piece of flesh out of my hand because I was so angry with myself (in public) but didn't want to make a scene of it. The mark stayed there for a good couple of weeks. I've also sprained a finger badly because I nearly broke it once (turned it HARD at an awkward angle). The dentist also told me a while back my front teeth are cracked because I tend to clench on them REALLY hard when I get upset, especially at work, and I don't have a way to cope with the stress. Other than that I can be REALLY hard on myself, especially when I make a mistake. I sometimes slap myself through the face REALLY hard to "punish" myself. Heh. It all seems to stupid and childish when typing this here...

Oh, and I've also sometimes stabbed myself (usually with a pencil) in the forearm when I got really mad/stressed. Geez, maybe I need to quite my job and find something less stressful, OR learn to cope with stress better

[Htom Sirveaux]

I've heard that even in Christian relationships, if a man has had a raging porn addiction for quite some time, he still might not be able to stop so easily. So it must be a full-on blessing that athough I had a progressively worsening condition myself over several years, God has given me a wonderful woman and I don't feel the slightest urge to go back to my old habits. It no longer makes sense to me to sit in front of a screen watching random people have sex because they're paid to, when the alternative is feeling a hand holding onto mine and looking over and seeing her standing there smiling next to me.

Although soon I'm going to have to tell her about my past, which I'm not looking forward to because of course she'd be well within her rights to decide I'm not worth her time after all.

[ADXC]

Htom, if she is the woman for you, she will see you and accept you like God does.