Mature prayer topics (older or mature members only, please)

[Sheenar]

I'm struggling with thought life. I'm fighting so hard.

I'm sort of desperately, frantically screaming "HELP!"

Me too, friend. It sucks.

I want to honor God with both my thought life and my actions. It's just proving to be pretty difficult to fully change old habits and tendancies. Because those things are pretty addicting and they feel good for the time being. I especially tend to struggle with those kinds of thoughts during a certain time span of my cycle. Stupid biology and hormones. I really want to bring both my body (actions) and thoughts under the control of Christ and think only of what is pure, praiseworthy, honorable, etc. (as Philippians says.)

Those thoughts and actions, as pleasurable as they can be, aren't worth it. At all.

[Sanderson]

I made a thread about this, but was told to post it in this thread.

I've been battling an hentai addiction. It started a few years back when I discovered this certain, uh, type of website. Ever since then I've been addicted. I've tried to stop before, but never worked. A few nights ago, my mom was out and about, my sister was at her friend's house and my dad was at work, so I was looking at hentai. I must have not heard my mom get home, because all of the sudden she walked in on me. She was mad and upset. She couldn't believe it was drawings I was looking at of all things. When I started pulling my pants up, she yelled "oh no young man, you started this now it'll end", then she finished me off. After she did that she called my dad from work. They punished me by making me donate my TV to the church, hoping that I would never look at hentai again. Unforntunaly, I'm still addicted. Please pray for me!

[Okami]

Me too, friend. It sucks.

I want to honor God with both my thought life and my actions. It's just proving to be pretty difficult to fully change old habits and tendancies. Because those things are pretty addicting and they feel good for the time being. I especially tend to struggle with those kinds of thoughts during a certain time span of my cycle. Stupid biology and hormones. I really want to bring both my body (actions) and thoughts under the control of Christ and think only of what is pure, praiseworthy, honorable, etc. (as Philippians says.)

Those thoughts and actions, as pleasurable as they can be, aren't worth it. At all.

I'm glad we're in the same spot, my friend, and wanting so much to serve Christ with our everything. You're right, they aren't worth it. They will never be worth it in comparison to Christ. There is a necessary craving we must have for Him that has to come before we are ever going to get over our own issues, I think, and it comes with looking to Him first and reading the Bible and just plain lavishing our love on Him.

[Atria35]

She couldn't believe it was drawings I was looking at of all things. When I started pulling my pants up, she yelled "oh no young man, you started this now it'll end", then she finished me off.

THis is the part that worries me. That's sexual abuse. A mother should NEVER touch their child in such a way, even if that child is adult. Not at any age.

An addiction to hentai is bad, but the way your mother dealt with finding is completely inappropriate and wrong in the eyes of God and according to the law.

I hope that some others here will be able to help you with ways to try to help stop your addiction, but I'm not sure that being with your parents while you do it is the best course of action, especially when your mother does something like this.

EDIT: I'm also thinking that you should talk to your pastor about both your addiction and what happened with your mother. They will either be able to help you in some respect themselves and/or be able to give you a way to contact a counselor, Christian or otherwise.

[TopazRaven]

THis is the part that worries me. That's sexual abuse. A mother should NEVER touch their child in such a way, even if that child is adult. Not at any age.

An addiction to hentai is bad, but the way your mother dealt with finding is completely inappropriate and wrong in the eyes of God.

I hope that some others here will be able to help you with ways to try to help stop your addiction, but I'm not sure that being with your parents while you do it is the best course of action, especially when your mother does something like this.

100% behind Atria on this. Really hoping that part of the post is just some sort of misinterpratation on our part.

Meanwhile Sanderson, I'll be praying for you and wish you the best of luck. I kind of know how you feel. While I don't watch hentai or whatever it's called sometimes when I'm looking at fan-art on DeviantART I come across some inappropriate stuff and I look at it even though it does have the mature warning. It just drives me nuts when I see the mature filter. I sit there like," Craaap, what the heck is in there!?" Then I look.

[bkilbour]

I hate it when you feel like you can't say no or when you get snuck up on by your desires.
It's no excuse, I'm still responsible, but that kind of thing makes it harder.

[TWWK]

100% behind Atria on this. Really hoping that part of the post is just some sort of misinterpratation on our part.

Yeah...hmm...when I first read those couple of sentences in your original post, I didn't think they said what Atria seemed to think. But rereading them...it sounds very disturbing. Could you clarify? I think this is definitely the bigger issue here.

As for looking at hentai...it can certainly be a struggle and addiction. We combat it as we do any sin - by going to the word and being in prayer. Of course, its easy to say this and harder in action when temptation comes. But certainly, the more we're seeking God, the more our thoughts are filled with goodness and the stronger we are against temptation.

Do you have a good Christian friend your age? If you're willing, you might want to see if that person wants to be your accountability partner, to pray for you and otherwise give you support in your battle.

Also...don't kill yourself over this. Sometimes, guilt over sin can be more damaging than the sin itself and lead you away from the LORD. I remember reading a James Dobson book where he stated he felt happy that his parents didn't go super hard on him when he was caught in similar situations. I would trust in God's mercy and strive to do what is right to honor Him, and asking Him for help.

[Sanderson]

You guys really think there's a problem with what my mom did? I mean, she did help me get the filthy thoughts off of my mind by, you know, giving me a hand you could say. Isn't it the same thing as a mother breast feeding her child?

[shooraijin]

Not to extend such a metaphor unnecessarily, but mothers don't breast-feed 24-year-old children either.

Frankly, if it were some other girl, most people would consider it a sexual act. This isn't to beat you up over it, but that detail is certainly upsetting for most of us. This thread is not intended to be condemnatory, however.

[Sanderson]

I honestly didn't see it as a bad thing, I saw it as my mom being open and not close minded, this isn't the first time a family member has been open about such a thing.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I sure hope your wording of your post was horribly mangled because I'm deeply disturbed.

[USSRGirl]

Sanderson - I am also behind Atria on this. What your mother did was sexual abuse. Honestly, I'm very disturbed to hear that this sort of thing has happened before and is tolerated in your family (not meaning that in an accusing way at you, but at your parents). It's child molesting - like Atria, I don't think age needs apply as what apparently went on (so far as we can imply from the post) is perverted and abusive. Very concerned for you and your sister in this living environment and I will be praying. The bigger issue here is not the hentai addiction - though there are people on this thread who I'm sure can offer good advice against that - it's what's going on in your family. I strongly encourage you to talk to a councilor about this.

[Kunoichi]

I have a question. If you are married and you masturbate while your husband is there...is that sinful? I know that this may make no sense, but I was still a bit lost on this issue.

Also need prayer...I don't know if masturbation is a sin or not, but it is something that I've done and at times still do. Sometimes it is due to lost, sometimes it is done to kick in endorphins so pain will stop for 5 mins so I can sleep. (not an excuse, probably a rationalization)..so yeah. Embarassed a bit now..so off I go.

[Atria35]

I honestly didn't see it as a bad thing, I saw it as my mom being open and not close minded, this isn't the first time a family member has been open about such a thing.

The thing is, that doesn't make it okay. If you've been raised in an environment that sees this as something fairly normal, then I don't doubt that you also see it as so. But your parents should know better.

Here's the definition of sexual abuse:
http://www.nursing.uiowa.edu/jcsart/definition.html
Now, it is Iowa law, you'd have to look it up for your own state, but this still applies. You don't go up to people and touch their genitals. Especially when it's your own family member.

Even if you don't feel that you were unwilling, what your mother did was entirely inappropriate. You really do need to talk to a pastor or councilor about this, because what's going on in your family is very wrong.

[Atria35]

I have a question. If you are married and you masturbate while your husband is there...is that sinful? I know that this may make no sense, but I was still a bit lost on this issue.

Also need prayer...I don't know if masturbation is a sin or not, but it is something that I've done and at times still do. Sometimes it is due to lost, sometimes it is done to kick in endorphins so pain will stop for 5 mins so I can sleep. (not an excuse, probably a rationalization)..so yeah. Embarassed a bit now..so off I go.

As for this, it depends. If you and your husband don't feel it's sinful, then I don't see why it would be. Some aspects of foreplay are seen as masturbatory. And some couples that have issues with getting interested use it as a means of helping themselves.

Praying that God will show you His will and desire on it.

[K. Ayato]

Atria is right. You just don't go up and touch someone's nether regions without their consent. It's a form of abuse, and it's also an invasion of privacy and personal space.

I don't understand how or why your mom thought that was the right thing for her to do. Just doesn't sit well with me and many of us here. Praying this gets cleared up soon.

[Kunoichi]

Having been sexually abused..at the start of a young age..you do think of it as being "normal" or that it happens to other people. The problem with that is when other abuse happens or the sexual abuse escalates, you think that is normal to. If you ever need to PM on this issue, please feel free. It isn't normal, no matter what family members or others say, and it isn't right or justified. It took 20 years for me to escape it. Praying xxx

[Okami]

Guys! I have a HUUUUUGGGGGGEEEEEEEE praise today! Today I have made it five months clean/sober/whatever of masturbation This is the first time since I began about fifteen years ago for me to go this long without messing up or giving in, and the first time for me to fully trust God with my life and everything. I'm so on fire right now; all this praise and glory goes to Him and Him alone!!

That being said, I feel like my latest post in my testimony thread ties directly into this praise, you can read it, here. God has blessed me so much with the strength to carry on and fall deeply in love with Him. Eeee!! I'm so giddy and excited for His plan in my life right now!

[Kunoichi]

Praise God for that Okami I do have a prayer request in this area...just trying to get the courage to ask it.

[Atria35]

Okami, it's awesome to hear that you're doing so well! And I'll def. be checking out the testimony thread!

[TopazRaven]

Well, I'll be praying for you all here. Be strong everyone! Faith and God will see us all through our problems I'm sure! Now, I'm going to ask you guys to pray for me please. I'm still just really kind of confused about a lot of things, especially when it comes to sex. I'm not having it mind you, actually...the thought of ever having sex scares me, but I do want to have a family some day. I'm just still a bit messed up in a lot of areas of my faith now that I think about it.

[Zarn Ishtare]

I'm quitting smoking on the first of next month....I hope.


would like to be prayed for. Thanks.

[Atria35]

Praying for you, Zarn. Tough stuff, but you can do it!

[Sebastian Michaelis]

congratz Okami :3 and Zarn i pray you both stay strong and that i stay strong because ive been having the problem Okami had x.x i gotta stop

[dothackzero]

Please continue praying that I'll be free from porn.

[Atria35]

Praying, dothack

[Mr. SmartyPants]

You guys really think there's a problem with what my mom did? I mean, she did help me get the filthy thoughts off of my mind by, you know, giving me a hand you could say. Isn't it the same thing as a mother breast feeding her child?

If I'm reading this correctly... your mom gave you a handjob?

I'll share the sentiments of other people. That's not only sexual abuse but incest as well. Absolutely inappropriate of her to do that. Not sure what else to tell you from there though. But you DEFINITELY need to get this stuff straightened out with your family.

[bkilbour]

I just messed up, but I'm making progress.
Also, I praise God that, even though I've been tempted by various women lately, I haven't fallen; I'm still a virgin.
As I've been reading Every Man's Battle, I've been learning a lot about how a man's sexuality works, and how we can purify ourselves.
The problem is, I haven't gotten the time to learn what I need to know to avoid it completely.
Please pray that I make more progress, and get to where God wants me to be - completely pure.

[readyornot]

Being a teenager, there's a lot of unbalanced hormones. I have dedicated myself to staying a virgin till marriage, but with these desires, its getting a little difficult. Also, theres the peer pressure. So far I have managed to keep my mind off it and managed to ignore my friends' words, but i'm going to need strength to continue. Please pray for me, and possibly some advice?

[Atria35]

Praying, and directing you to the 'Mature Prayer Topics'. There are a few members who have similar struggles as you, and would be able to give some advice.

As for me? I had awesome friends who never goaded me or teased me about not having sex. I suggest finding some who'll respect that.