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Postby Atria35 » Tue Dec 14, 2010 8:38 pm

I'm so sorry to hear about that, Animegirl. I'll definitely pray for your friend to gain some confidence in herself so that she can start to say 'no'.

That sounds like it might be what the problem is- a lot of girls who don't know how to say 'no' are the ones who don't have the self-confidence to, and are the ones who fear rejection if they do.

The thing is, dating can be fun- though I haven't been on many (I'm picky about the guys I ask out, since I myself have never been asked out), I find that I do have a lot of fun with them. We hang out at fun places, talk about interests, and I have found that, even though I may not like them as a person to date, they can make a good friend.

But that's obviously not how your friend is treating it. Like Hiryu said, you've already spoken to her about it. Have you considered talking to her parents or your pastor about what she's told you and what her boyfriends are doing?

But no matter what happens, be there for her. She's very lucky to have someone who's so concerned for her as a friend.
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Postby AnimeGirl » Wed Dec 15, 2010 10:35 am

Thanks so much, you two, for your prayers. She needs them, and pray I will also be a good and loyal friend, no matter what ^.^
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Postby MxCake » Wed Dec 15, 2010 11:26 am

im so sorry your feeling that way with your friend and im sorry for whats going on and i know how you feel and im going to pray for you as well because as i know and im sure everyone else knows how it feels to be in a situation like that so ill pray for you too and God will carry you through this. anyways enough of me rambling >.<.
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Postby Tsukuyomi » Wed Dec 15, 2010 12:15 pm

Sorry to hear that about your friend, AnimeGirl :( I'll pray that she sees what really is going on :\

Have you tried talking to her about it?
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Postby AnimeGirl » Wed Dec 15, 2010 2:39 pm

Tsukuyomi (post: 1444014) wrote:Sorry to hear that about your friend, AnimeGirl :( I'll pray that she sees what really is going on :\

Have you tried talking to her about it?


Sort of, but usually when she tells me "new details" I sort of get mad at her and so, I feel I am not approaching it the right way. I've talked to her sister, who is also my closest friend, about how worried I am for her. She is too, and she also tells me she doesn't open up to her either, and she's her sister! But if God wills, and I get the chance to talk about it, I'll do it with the right approach.
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Ooh look! I have fanfiction! YAY!!!!!!!
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Postby Tsukuyomi » Wed Dec 15, 2010 4:12 pm

Have you this recently that you tried talking to her ^^? Maybe, the next time you guys are hanging out, you can be like,"How's school going?" and maybe lead up to,"How are you doing with your relationships?" Maybe, even ask her how they make her feel.. If she's happy about how things are ^^
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Postby dothackzero » Wed Dec 15, 2010 10:03 pm

Please pray that I'll have no desire to look at porn.

Crap, I screwed up again. Please pray for me.

Do you think it'll take longer to for God to let me make some friends with girls because of this screw up. Also would having girls as friends that I can like hang with get hugs from little stuff like that would help help me not look at this crap again?
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Postby MxCake » Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:54 am

dothackzero (post: 1444143) wrote:Please pray that I'll have no desire to look at porn.

Crap, I screwed up again. Please pray for me.

Do you think it'll take longer to for God to let me make some friends with girls because of this screw up. Also would having girls as friends that I can like hang with get hugs from little stuff like that would help help me not look at this crap again?


im going to be blunt and say no its highly unlikely that will happen in know guys that have maybe 2 or 3 guy friend and maybe 12 friends that are girls and they still look at that stuff and i know friends that have a girlfriend and still do the same stuff its a hard habit to break if your really serious about breaking it there free software that will block web sites have somone else type in the password or if seeing a blocked website is enough for you put your own password. but yea it takes a lot of prayer and admitting your sin and admitting that you cant do it alone. ill pray :)
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Postby Atria35 » Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:06 am

dothackzero (post: 1444143) wrote:Do you think it'll take longer to for God to let me make some friends with girls because of this screw up. Also would having girls as friends that I can like hang with get hugs from little stuff like that would help help me not look at this crap again?


What Cake said- having female friends does not mean that you'll stop looking at porn. I'm not sure where you got the belief that guys who have female friends stop looking at porn, but it just isn't true.

Looking at porn isn't preventing you from making female friends, though- any guy, as long as they don't act like creeps around girls (ogling them, forcing inappropriate touching on them) can have female friends. So it's probably your own fears about being rejected as a friend that are stopping you from having female friends.
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Postby MrKrillz0r » Tue Dec 21, 2010 4:22 pm

I dunno how to remove my comment.. T_T I dunno if you can do it at all to be honest.
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Postby Dr.Faust » Wed Dec 29, 2010 3:55 pm

I need pray. Between my addiction, dealing with my friends problems, and fear of all the conspricy theories I'm overly stressed and its not helping my addiction. Pray Thanks.
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Postby bkilbour » Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:14 pm

Whew, this time has been pretty crazy.
WHen I got back from my last underway, the first thing that tempted me in my barracks was pornography. Then I kept hearing about "discreet relationships" and how easy it is for someone to get into one these days, and temptation started hitting me again.

I've made it 20 years as a virgin, and I really don't want that to amount to nothing just because of my lack of self-control. Please, please pray for me on this - it's getting really hard, and heartbreak makes it harder, but with God all things are possible.
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Postby Midori » Wed Dec 29, 2010 6:53 pm

I am praying for both of you. I too am struggling with temptation, so if somebody could pray for me too I'd be glad.
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Postby Sebastian Michaelis » Thu Dec 30, 2010 3:11 am

I will be Praying for you bkilbour and midori may god guide you out of temptation and into his loving arms same goes for anyone else in need the lord can do all things may they be big or small Amen. and I also need prayer if thats not too much to ask ^^;
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Postby Dr.Faust » Thu Dec 30, 2010 7:13 am

Praying for yall
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Postby Midknight74012 » Thu Dec 30, 2010 3:38 pm

Since this subject is a little touchy, I'll post here. My sister, unmarried, no education higher then a high school drop out, working a full time job at JC Penny's, is pregnant. That's not what concerns me. She had the affair before she married the dude. I said "(Sister's name), your a smart girl and you **** well know that premarital sex is wrong." She told me to not judge her and that she doesn't regret this decision. HA!!! She obviously didn't put her faith before her desires. I don't hate my sister at all, I just hate the fact that she made this decision without regrets. That really makes me :mutter::hits_self:dizzy: So please, keep her in your prayers. I really don't see this ending well. She has burned almost all of her bridges with her family to build ones for her boyfriend.
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Postby Atria35 » Thu Dec 30, 2010 3:52 pm

^ Mid, the thing is, everyone falls on their path. And yes, that does sometimes mean putting desires before faith. I can't tell you how many of the most Christian girls I know get knocked up by their boyfriends.

What's done is done. She stumbled. You were hard on her. She knows it was a mistake. But she's probably on the defensive because what you said is rather harsh, and told you that she didn't have regrets because of how you said it. She probably does, and will in the future because of what's happening now.

She's decided to have this baby, and she will need support from you and the rest of her family. People in love do stupid things, so I hope that you can keep that in mind when this comes up.

Jesus forgives when things like this happen. It's no different from any other sin. And we all sin.
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Postby bkilbour » Wed Jan 05, 2011 8:01 am

Just started reading Every Man's Battle, and I highly recommend it to all the men here on this thread.
The thing is, I've been learning that the standards of God are so much higher than ours when it comes to purity. Sure, you may not be watching pornography or fornicating, but are you looking at women with lust in your eyes? Are you watching the dirty scenes in movies with lust? Are you making rude sexual jokes (or laughing at them)?
When God says in Exodus 34;7 that He visits the "iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children's children to the third and the fourth generation," He's saying that He sees sin as a generational thing; knowing that I will at one point have a family, it scared the heck out of me to think that I might end up infecting my own kids with the same kind of struggle that I'm going through now.

So....
Please join me in, for the sake of God and family, trying our best to erase this ugly pattern from our lives.
(and much prayer is needed for all sides. I just started getting rid of a ton of bad influences in my life due to this, but it's still gonna be a struggle).
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Postby Sebastian Michaelis » Sun Jan 09, 2011 10:52 pm

I really need prayer... I want to become a better person to be selfless..and free from lust I and slip up... and almost lose sight of my goal it gets hard with me being so alone as far as being with a girl goes... please everyone pray for me and i will keep you all in my prayers i do hope one day i can get past all this and just have it were i can pray for others not needing it so much on my side for myself v.v I value CAA and am glad it exists with so many kind members and people I have come to know as friends thank you all inluding the people I haven't met praise god for CAA and for every fellow christian brother and sister :hug:
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Postby bkilbour » Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:35 am

Armstrong, brother, I will definitely pray for you. I have been in the exact same place before, man, and have grown to the point where it becomes more of a nuisance than anything else.

If you'd like I've got a lot of resources that can help you out (they sure helped me); send me a PM and I'll send it to you.

God bless you, man!
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Postby Midknight74012 » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:20 am

Yea I have the same issue, Armstrong. The hard part is always trying to find something to focus on.
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Postby mysngoeshere56 » Wed Jan 12, 2011 12:28 am

Hey there everybody... I'm not sure how many of you have been reading up on my latest prayer request with my current depression issues, but there is a bigger side to the picture that delves into more mature territory. So, I figured I'd post here.

Anyway, there was a time in my life when I felt very empty and void, and so I started to search for ways to help curb my depression outside of healthy means...

And so, I picked up a habit of self-injury when I was in my early teens. After awhile, I realized that it seemed to make me feel more uplifted. Sometimes it was because the emotional pain was so immense, the short relief I felt from physical pain could take my mind off it for a bit. Other times it was because I grew so numb in sorrow, and became desperate to feel *something*. But for a short time, I grew so accustomed to it that I couldn't really even go a whole day without doing it at least once.

With God's help, and a willingness to give up on my part, I was able to break the habit... but even though I haven't given in for a good number of years, the temptation is still something I occasionally face today. With my depression issues currently going up higher, the temptation is stronger now than it has been in quite some time. :-/ I actually wound up accidentally cutting my knee on a zipper a few days ago, and even though I still disliked the cut... I couldn't help but think of the relief I used to feel when doing stuff like that intentionally.

But still, regardless of the fact that this gave me some temporary relief, I'm trying to remind myself of just how much worse it made me feel in the long run... In the end, I discovered that the whole thing really wasn't worth it. It just made me more depressed, and it never fully curbed the pain, so I always just wanted more and more. It got to the point where I realized it wasn't healthy for me, and I needed to seek help from God and Christlike fellowship instead. So, I stopped... And I don't plan on starting up again. I'm actually one for always keeping promise. I made a promise to all my friends who helped me through the time (and to God) saying that I wouldn't do it again, because I knew that'd be the strongest way to keep myself from returning to this habit. I'll admit... I *slightly* broke the promise and gave in once since, but I felt bad after giving in once... As such, I repented and haven't done it since.

I'm also debating talking with my counselor about this temptation a little bit more... I'm not sure what he'd say in response, but maybe if I shared my feelings with him, he'd be able to give me some advice.

But anyway, if my brothers and sisters in Christ could send some prayer my way as I continue to fight this temptation, and for wisdom on both my part (and my counselor's part if I decide to share) about what to do with this, I'd appreciate it.
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Postby Atria35 » Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:01 am

I'm so sorry to hear that, mysn. Have you tried taking up some other habits/hobbies to try and distract yourself?

Praying for you!
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Postby Okami » Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:17 am

mysngoeshere56 (post: 1450911) wrote:Hey there everybody... I'm not sure how many of you have been reading up on my latest prayer request with my current depression issues, but there is a bigger side to the picture that delves into more mature territory. So, I figured I'd post here.

Anyway, there was a time in my life when I felt very empty and void, and so I started to search for ways to help curb my depression outside of healthy means...

And so, I picked up a habit of self-injury when I was in my early teens. After awhile, I realized that it seemed to make me feel more uplifted. Sometimes it was because the emotional pain was so immense, the short relief I felt from physical pain could take my mind off it for a bit. Other times it was because I grew so numb in sorrow, and became desperate to feel *something*. But for a short time, I grew so accustomed to it that I couldn't really even go a whole day without doing it at least once.

With God's help, and a willingness to give up on my part, I was able to break the habit... but even though I haven't given in for a good number of years, the temptation is still something I occasionally face today. With my depression issues currently going up higher, the temptation is stronger now than it has been in quite some time. :-/ I actually wound up accidentally cutting my knee on a zipper a few days ago, and even though I still disliked the cut... I couldn't help but think of the relief I used to feel when doing stuff like that intentionally.

But still, regardless of the fact that this gave me some temporary relief, I'm trying to remind myself of just how much worse it made me feel in the long run... In the end, I discovered that the whole thing really wasn't worth it. It just made me more depressed, and it never fully curbed the pain, so I always just wanted more and more. It got to the point where I realized it wasn't healthy for me, and I needed to seek help from God and Christlike fellowship instead. So, I stopped... And I don't plan on starting up again. I'm actually one for always keeping promise. I made a promise to all my friends who helped me through the time (and to God) saying that I wouldn't do it again, because I knew that'd be the strongest way to keep myself from returning to this habit. I'll admit... I *slightly* broke the promise and gave in once since, but I felt bad after giving in once... As such, I repented and haven't done it since.

I'm also debating talking with my counselor about this temptation a little bit more... I'm not sure what he'd say in response, but maybe if I shared my feelings with him, he'd be able to give me some advice.

But anyway, if my brothers and sisters in Christ could send some prayer my way as I continue to fight this temptation, and for wisdom on both my part (and my counselor's part if I decide to share) about what to do with this, I'd appreciate it.




I understand where you're coming from, Sno. I also have had issues with self-harm in the past and the temptation is still there even though I haven't given into it in six months and for month-intervals at a time (where last December it had been 1.5 years since I was a habitual self-abuser.) The other night I felt fine, was just listening to some music before heading to bed and it hit me like, "I want to cut. I want to hurt myself." and I had no idea why. I talked with my "counselor" (my dean of students) about it and she explained that that was probably Satan's way of trying to distract me, to try and twist something that is good for me (music) and make it into something difficult/"bad."

I know it's all Christian cliche and such, but cling to Jesus, look to Him through all the difficulty. Read His word and recognize the pain that He has suffered. It helps when we realize He understands.

There's something I try to explain to friends and that's that self-injurers can almost understand the crucifixion on a more personal level than others in that we understand the power of blood a little more than the "average" person could - in self-harm it's a cleanser of sorts, a relief. In the same way Jesus' blood redeems, it heals, it brings with it the death of ourselves, our sins. Same thing with scars; Jesus has them, He understands the weight of the memories they bring. To us, looking at Jesus' scars is to remember that He died and bled for us. Scars are remembrance. They are the reminders of healing.

It's not easy when temptation arises. But we can overcome because Christ gives us that power. He is the only one we can look to when tempted, and He is faithful to bring us through if we surrender to Him.

I'll be praying. :)
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Postby Sheenar » Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:17 pm

So, yeah, there's a guy that I REALLY like. I've known him for 3-4 years. I've been attracted to him somewhat for a couple of years, but that attraction has grown a lot recently.

We hang out as friends (with other friends and a few times just the two of us), play board games and talk. We've also served together with the church in the past. He's a godly man growing in his faith and has a lot of other qualities that I find attractive. And he's pretty handsome, too.

Thing is, since my attraction to him has increased, I've found myself fighting off lustful thoughts/temptations more often. My past of masturbation and looking at porn is making this whole situation more difficult.

So far this year, I have been clean and have not fallen in these areas (praise God!) But it sure has been one heck of a struggle lately. Lustful thoughts will pop in my head about my friend and I have to purposefully and willfully turn my thoughts elsewhere and not allow myself to dwell on those thoughts. A thought will pop into my head wondering what kissing him would feel like, for example.

So prayer will be greatly appreciated in this situation. Please pray that I will consistently turn away from lustful thoughts. Lustful thoughts often become actions, as I have learned. Thinking that way often leads to me following through in self-gratification.

I really don't want to think of my dear brother in the Lord this way. He is my friend and thinking lustful thoughts about him degrades him to nothing more than a sexual object. I respect and care about this person, so I am fighting hard to keep my thoughts in line. I want to maintain purity not only physically with him, but also mentally.

Also, I am not sure if he feels the same way about me in return (he invites me to hang out more than other friends do and he does a lot of nice things for me like fixing my car or giving me a seat right by the heater in his place of business.) Please pray for wisdom, guidance and discretion on my part. I want to be sensitive to his feelings and I don't want to put our friendship at risk, so I am afraid to ask him to clarify our relationship.
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Postby Atria35 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:14 pm

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, Sheenar.

I do have a question, though- how are you ever supposed to know if he feels attracted to you too unless you make some sort of move? Guys aren't mind readers- and neether are we. The only way we can ever know what another person feels is by someone asking or telling.

I really think you should go for it and let your feelings be known. If he doesn't feel the same way, he'll tell you so! And if he's really a good friend, then it won't really affect your friendship- I've had two friendships go this way. I may have been turned down, but they still are close friends.
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Postby Sheenar » Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:22 pm

And I messed up. And 2011 was going so well. :/

I am so tired of being in bondage to this stuff. I want to be free. Christ died to bring us freedom, how can I be making myself a slave again and again to this stuff?

I am committing to going through the book "And the Bride Wore White." I meant to start it a few days ago, but didn't. One main reason is the journal entries. I'm afraid to face the real ugliness of lust and past sexual sin (I'm still a virgin, but the whole porn thing really screwed up my perspective of sex and my thought life.) But I have to face it to overcome it. Please pray that I will not only start the book and journaling, but that I would also finish it. I start so many things and don't follow through. I really want this to be different.


To answer your question, the short answer is: I don't ask him because I am afraid. The longer answer is that he broke up with his girlfriend 3 months or so ago. I really want to be respectful of him and his feelings. I feel wrong asking him so soon.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Postby Atria35 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:33 pm

^Ah, I can understand that! It can be hard to judge when it's the right time to let feelings be known... especially when it's scary to do it.

And letting someone know you like them is SCARY! I've done it four times. And each time I was nearly sick with fear. But I would have felt worse if I didn't- relationships are like physics. They stay as they are until something acts upon them (in this case, telling someone that you like them).

I'm hoping that you will be able to brush up the courage to do it, when the time feels right. Also- I've heard that book you want to read is great! Praying you'll be able to read it.
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Postby Okami » Fri Jan 14, 2011 7:04 pm

I'm struggling with thought life. I'm fighting so hard.

I'm sort of desperately, frantically screaming "HELP!"
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Postby Atria35 » Fri Jan 14, 2011 7:08 pm

Okami (post: 1451714) wrote:I'm struggling with thought life. I'm fighting so hard.

I'm sort of desperately, frantically screaming "HELP!"


I'm definitely praying for you!
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