Corrupted wish game

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. They are vicious beasties, those Christmas Trees, and many thousands of people die every year in the quest to capture one.

I wish for a genie voiced by Robin Williams.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. He lived in an electric lamp, and was in the last light bulb you threw out. Then he died when the bulb broke in the garbage truck. Why would you even wish such a thing, calling somebody into existence just to kill them?

I wish for meat lasagna.

[KougaHane]

Granted, but it's the meat of a human being. Now, that's no problem, if you're a cannibal.

I wish I had heavily restrained and docile pet cannibal.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. But they starve to death since you (hopefully) have moral objections to killing humans so that your pet cannibal can eat.

I wish for part of a balanced breakfast.

[Edward]

Granted, but it's part of a cannibal's balanced breakfast, which consists of a bowl of whole brain cereal sprinkled with bone dust, a kidney, and a cup of bodily fluids to wash it all down. (Yum!)

I wish Yuki-Anne had part of a normal person's balanced breakfast instead.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. She has all the riboflavin from a normal person's breakfast, in a bowl. Why would you want to give her a bowl of nothing but riboflavin? That makes no sense! Also, some normal person is going without the riboflavin from their formerly balanced breakfast.

I wish that a normal person would send me all their money.

[Edward]

Granted, but the FBI is tracing the serial numbers on the bills, and you get caught.

I wish there were no console exclusive video games.

[KougaHane]

Granted. Now every game multi-ports to every console in existence and games become mass produced and lowered in quality to make them cheaper. As a result, gamers lose interest in the new games and stop buying new games, causing the videogame industry to collapse and no new games for anyone.

I wish I had a super-tuna.

[Sapphire225]

Granted, however, the super-tuna turns out to be an evil supervillian shape-shifting tuna that wishes to get revenge in the entire human race for eating them.

I wish I had the power to hypnotize people.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. Unfortunately, you can't control it, so you hypnotize anybody you look at. Oh, and you are hypnotizing them into attacking you. Hope you're good at self-defense.

I wish that Sapphire225 wasn't about to be killed by a hypno-zombie mob of her own making.

[QuirkyIceHeart]

Granted, now you are. Enjoy =D

I wish that I had the food I felt like right now.

[KougaHane]

Granted, you get food made up of the chemicals in your brain which help to cause emotions, and it turns out those chemicals are toxic.

I wish I had something completely harmless.

[Sapphire225]

Granted. You are given a small completely harmless bear cub...unfortunately, it's not-so-harmless mother bear tracks you down.

I wish I could whistle.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but it attracts deadly hypno-zombies.

I wish the U.S. would abandon dollars and embrace meat as our currency.

[klomp123]

Granted. The US now uses bacon as it's national currency. Unfortunatly there is another swine flu outbreak and mass panic causes the great depression 2.0.

I wish I had laser vision.

[Edward]

Granted, but now that everyone's hands are red from handling raw meat currency all the time, we lose the expression "Caught red-handed"

I wish we would abandon money alltogether and go back to the mercantile system of trading and bartering.

[animefanatic777]

Granted. Good job Edward! You've brought Slavery back in business!

I wish Edward hadn't made Abraham Lincolns hard work go to waste.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. He made the hard work and sacrifice of both North and South go to waste. Lincoln was a slacker anyway.

I wish that, now that slavery is back, we could enslave anime characters for our amusement.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but only until they revolt... and when slaves with super powers and giant robots revolt, things do NOT go well for their former masters.

I wish Discovery had a program about anime geeks and their everyday lives.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but it's met with a universal cry of "How horrid! Kill them! Kill them with fire!" And they do. All anime geeks are rounded up and killed with fire.

I wish that anime geeks would turn into undead and conquer the world.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but being in a state of mindless decay, we don't really get to do much with the world once it's ours.

I wish I was less sleepy right now.

[Ally-Ann]

Granted, but only for 1 second.

I wish I could speak Mandarin Chinese.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but you have no idea what you're saying. It's probably the Chinese equivalent of "kick me".

I wish that I would stop checking this thread when I'm hungry and then having to suppress repetitive food-based wishes.

[animefanatic777]

Granted, now you check it when you're THIRSTY, and have to suppress your thirst based wishes.

I wish female anime characters would wear some more clothing.

[rocklobster]

Granted, but now the males have unattractive features and walk around buck naked. So now it sucks for the female audience.
I wish the missing episodes of Doctor Who were found and on good-quality DVD's that worked on all DVD players in all regions.

[QuirkyIceHeart]

Granted. In trade for that, there are now no DVD players.

I wish that most of the good games I found lately weren't so gory and profane.

[Ally-Ann]

Granted, but now most of the good games that you found are all like Teletubbies.

I wish for my own laptop.

[Nate]

Granted! You now have your very own Epson HX-20 laptop.



Vintage 1981! Classy!

I wish I didn't bother and annoy everybody.

[Ally-Ann]

Granted, but now you're so boring that no one wants to hang around you.

I wish I owned a working jet-ski.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but you have to move to the middle of the Sahara to get it.

I wish jet-skis worked on sand.