"Eire's Flight" ^_^

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

"Eire's Flight" ^_^

Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon May 10, 2004 10:17 pm

When I first wrote this poem
That I've placed on this site
It was a gift to my friend,
A first try, and tried as I might
It grew however
And I couldn't stop the length
Until a short story
On CAA, I now place

So I hope you enjoy
(EDITED)

Eire’s Flight



There once was a girl

She went for a stroll.

She spied deer and squirrels

A bird covered in white pearls



On a large oak, he sat

Oddly staring… singing, and quite fat,

Somewhat glaring.

[color=navy][font=Arial]“Fancy that!â€

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Part II of "Eire's Flight"

Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon May 10, 2004 10:20 pm

For at that time

As the clock neared nine

She was nowhere to be found

Her mother panicked, calling round

“Have you seen myEire?

[color=navy][font=Arial]Have you seen my daughter…anywhere?â€
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon May 10, 2004 10:28 pm

This is my first attempt at a long poem, so please comment. I know it's very average and nowhere near the caliber of some of the poets here, but this is what happens when you're goofing around with words. And rhyming is so darn addicting. ^_^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby Icarus » Tue May 11, 2004 1:36 pm

I don't know enough about Homeresque to comment on the form, but the tale is nice.
The Forsworn War of 34

††
User avatar
Icarus
 
Posts: 1477
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 5:00 am
Location: 34

Postby true_noir_chloe » Tue May 11, 2004 6:58 pm

I'm not sure I can really call this Homeresque either. Since, I don't really know how to do that. I just used that term because all of his stuff rhymed. *hehe*

Thanks for reading it Icarus.

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby Ingemar » Tue May 11, 2004 10:27 pm

Classical Greco-Roman literature didn't rhyme. And I'm not sure what Homeresque would entail since I don't know the old language enough to label something as linguistically "homeresque."

But what I seesies, I likesies.
User avatar
Ingemar
 
Posts: 2244
Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:43 pm
Location: A Dungeon

Postby EireWolf » Wed May 12, 2004 12:57 pm

:hug:

You know... I've been that girl. I've felt like that many times. Hopefully I have learned what she did. :)

btw.... I almost don't want to tell you this. But I pronounce "Eire" as rhyming with "fire." :sweat: You go ahead and pronounce it any way you like though. :grin:
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
[indent]~~Gandalf, in Fellowship of the Ring[/indent]
Image
User avatar
EireWolf
 
Posts: 2496
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: the forests of northern California

Postby true_noir_chloe » Wed May 12, 2004 3:38 pm

EireWolf wrote:
btw.... I almost don't want to tell you this. But I pronounce "Eire" as rhyming with "fire." :sweat: You go ahead and pronounce it any way you like though. :grin:

:eyeroll: really?:red: Anyway, if you say it with a Welsh accent, "Eire" really, really fast it sound like "er", which with a Welsh accent might be pronounced "air." <--grabbing at straws

:grin: Sorry about the mispronunciation, Eire.

Thanks for reading it though.:hug:

Ingemar, I'm also glad you liked what you saw - thanks.

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby EireWolf » Wed May 12, 2004 7:02 pm

true_noir_chloe wrote::eyeroll: really?:red: Anyway, if you say it with a Welsh accent, "Eire" really, really fast it sound like "er", which with a Welsh accent might be pronounced "air." <--grabbing at straws


You're probably right, and I'm probably pronouncing it like a stupid American. :grin:

I'm just tickled that you wrote a poem for me. :hug:
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
[indent]~~Gandalf, in Fellowship of the Ring[/indent]
Image
User avatar
EireWolf
 
Posts: 2496
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: the forests of northern California


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 278 guests