Corrupted wish game

[Edward]

Granted, but they don't completley rinse, and a soapy film stays on the dishes after they wash themselves.

I wish I didn't have a tan.

[rocklobster]

granted, you have melanoma (skin cancer, in case you didn't know)
I wish zombies were vegans.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. Now, while they're killing you, they moan, "grraaaaiiinnnsss".

I wish for revolution.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted. You now turn around in a circular motion.

I wish hair could be washed without getting wet.

[Pejiilu]

Granted , But you have to have some Thousand doller Shampoo that makes it moist but not wet

I wish gelka was here D:

[Edward]

Granted, gelka was here, but is now somewhere else.

I wish computers wern't so frustrating.

[Pejiilu]

Granted, But now phones are

I wish i had a Okami plushie

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but it's a cheep Hong Kong bootleg that looks more like an oddly-colored Vulpix.

I wish I could write an epic folk ballad about Randy Quaid.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. But as it turns out, Randy Quaid is a total gangsta, and hates epic folk ballads.

I wish I knew a graceful way to bow out of super awkward conversations.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but it's so awesome to see that people deliberately start awkward conversations with you jut to watch you do it.

I wish I had my own personal, private highway system so I could get anywhere I wanted with no traffic.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. Thanks to you, a lot of people have lost their homes to make room for all your overpasses, so now you're a pariah and people try to shoot you wherever you go. As a result, you can't go anywhere.

I wish I had some coffee to drink and some time to drink it.

[bkilbour]

Granted. But it's the worst coffee you've ever had. You now hate all coffee.
I wish anchovies didn't have those little needles in them.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. Now that have BIG needles in them.

I wish I lived on the West Coast.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, you now live on the West coast of a remote, uninhabited island with no chance of getting back to civilization.

I wish that smurfs didn't taste like blueberries.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, they now taste like cyanide. Probably shouldn't have eaten so many, dude.

I wish The Bee Gees recorded a heavy metal album.

[rocklobster]

Granted. Sadly, disco metal doesn't sound as awesome as you might think.
I wish there was a radio station dedicated solely to bands that play songs about dragons and such (like Dragonforce, Nightwish, Blind Guardian, etc).

[Edward]

Granted, but the lyrics are either incomprehensible or the bands play in your least favorite style of music.

I wish fantasy writers would stop using the same cliches over and over again. And again. And again.

[rocklobster]

Granted. There goes the fantasy industry, up in smoke. Fans are clamoring to bang down your door and kill you for destroying their favorite hobby. Myself included.
I wish Sting would reunite The Police.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, and they're recording a disco metal album about dragons.

I wish Sting would reunite with the cast of Dune.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, and millions of overweight sci-fi fans are copying his costume from that movie and wearing their versions in public.

I wish for the brain bleach to remove that image.

[rocklobster]

Granted, but it also removes stuff you actually want to remember.
I wish Jane's Addiction would reunite.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. Jane has fallen off the bandwagon and is addicted to drugs again, and her family is heartbroken. Nice one, rock.

I wish I had a kotatsu.

[Edward]

Granted, you have a kotatsu, but it's the old-fashioned charcoal kind, and scince your house is not ventilated, you die of carbon monoxide poisoning.

I wish for Yuki-Anne to be resuscitated.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted. The zombie uprising has officially begun!

I wish I'd had time to finish building my impenetrable, self-sufficient mountain fortress before the zombie uprising began.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. Unfortunately, you yourself were away in another state when the uprising began, and you have no way to get to your fortress except to cross some of the most deadly, zombie-infected territory in the country to get there.

I wish for Gordon Freeman to save us from the zombies.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted... to the extent that he sends John Freeman who is Gordon Freeman's brother.

I wish I hadn't wandered off to the other end of zombie ground zero instead of enjoying my fortress.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. But I'm there waiting for you. OM NOM NOM.

I wish Blitz tasted like Blueberry Pudding.

[rocklobster]

Granted, but so do you. And I loooove pudding. MMM! OM NOM NOM!
I wish Camp Crystal Lake was a real place and was safe to visit.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, to the extent that there aren't any maniacs in hockey masks stalking the place. Unfortunately, it doesn't really matter since the zombies overran it just like everything else.

I wish I'd gotten more sleep this weekend.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, you slept the sleep of the dead... until you reanimated as a zombie.

I wish that there was a cure for zombification.