Corrupted wish game

[bkilbour]

Granted. It's clean. Now you have to deal with Kaligraphic resenting you for this wish for the rest of your life.

I wish Camel Snus came in more flavors.

[rocklobster]

Granted. Its flavors are: Bitter almonds (the smell of cyanide), strychnine, and various other poisons.
I wish my computer had Battle Chess on it.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. Your computer has been trampled and broken by chess larpers.

I wish that I had a solid gold Ferrari.

[Furen]

Granted. Your computer has been trampled and broken by chess larpers.

I wish that I had a solid gold Ferrari.

okay I'll grant that, but it will never work and burn you when you sit in it for too long.

I wish I could see all my friends face to face instead of always talking to them via computer and phone...

[ST. Attidude]

Granted, they all show up at your front door simultaneously without your awareness of their forthcoming.

I wish for a human-sized spring.

[bkilbour]

[quote="rocklobster (post: 1426412)"]Granted. Its flavors are: Bitter almonds (the smell of cyanide), strychnine, and various other poisons.
QUOTE]
Heh, I do love me some almonds.

Granted- Spring only warms a portion of the earth equal toone adult human.

I wish I knew all the details with regards to the teresa lewis case, with no lies or distortion.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. It turns out she's innocent, and you have to perform the execution knowing that, but unable to change things. Have fun living with yourself now, killer of innocents.

I wish for the wasteland to become green.

[Nate]

Granted, the wasteland becomes green...because it's covered in glowing green radioactive waste.

I wish I could get under 2 minutes in Emerald Coast in Sonic Adventure to get that stupid A-rank emblem.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. But once you achieve, you realize it was ultimately futile.

I wish my Friday nights were a bit more exciting.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. Every Friday night, you are attacked by mysterious assassins, terrorists, insane cultists, and more, each wanting to kill you in new and inventive ways!

I wish that water was purple.

[QtheQreater]

Granted, but now it tastes like prunes.

I wish tubas were a fashion statement amongst Hollywood stars.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but all the overexposure ruins tubas forever... until they become retro-cool 40 years from now.

I wish I was eating a sandwich made entirely out of bacon.

[bkilbour]

Granted. Your heart now hates you.
It forevermore will sing the blues over how you clogged it, and it goes something like this;
"My baby, my baby, he don't want me no more
Ate a sammich made o bacon and I dropped to the floor.
He thinks the greasin's all cool, that bacon's sexy,
Bet he gets a heart attack just by stretching."
Thank you, thank you, the sad heart will be here all week.


I wish I didn't have to cook my spam to make it taste better.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, now you have to cover it thoroughly with powered sugar.

I wish yards were self-raking.

[Straylight]

Granted, but there is now 5x more dust in your house.

I wish Gran Turismo 5 was out now.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. It's out. But it's a total failure as a video game, and you have no fun playing it whatsoever.

I wish I had a warm, delectable pastry to eat.

[Peanut]

Granted, you have a warm, delectable atom sized pastry to eat. It's not very filling though...

I wish items respawned faster in Dragon Quest IX.

[Nate]

Granted, but you only have a 5 second window to grab the items before they vanish and you have to wait for them to respawn again.

I wish it would actually be autumn right now.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. One second of autumn, right now, but in another second it'll be winter.

I wish I wasn't getting sick.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted. You've ALWAYS been sick, so it never really gets any worse.

I wish I could dry my hair faster without actually getting rid of any of it.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. Now it dries so fast that it never actually gets wet, so you are no longer able to wash it.

I wish Blitzkrieg could wash his hair. It's getting kinda nasty... :/

[rocklobster]

Granted, but the lice jumps into everyone else's hair.
I wish fanfiction.net only accepted people who could actually write stories.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. Welcome to the internet's new ghost town.

I wish I could make a decent souffle.

[Straylight]

Granted, but the ingredients are extremely difficult to get hold of.

I wish the weather was a bit warmer.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. 120 warm enough for ya?

I wish I had a nice, shiny car.

[Straylight]

Granted, but you have to polish it all the time for it to stay shiny.

I wish I had some delicious cake.

[QtheQreater]

Granted, but you'll have to scrape it off your shoe.

I wish the garden would weed itself.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, the garden fills itself with weeds without your assistance.

I wish that leprechauns could use the Internet.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. They're wasting their pots o' gold on the Gaia Cash Shop.

I wish I could find a pot o' gold.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. At a local novelty shop, you find a fake cannabis plant made from gold-colored plastic.

I wish for a pizza made entirely out of money.