Corrupted wish game

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. You didn't even try, which is worse.

I wish that S.M.O.G. had at least tried.

[jim_wijit]

Granted. But now he's so good at it that he either sucks life right out of everyone else like a vacuum or explodes from happiness like a super nova.

I wish I had several more bookcases.

[S.M.O.G.]

Granted, over nine thousand shelfless bookcases coming up!


I wish for perfectly safe cheese that only I can eat.

[Yamamaya]

Granted but the cheese turns your entire body into a gelatious mass of beans.

I wish for UNLIMITED POWER!

[BubblegumNinja]

Granted, but at the cost of your freedom.

I wish for endless inspiration.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, you are now constantly bombarded with so much inspiration that you're incapable of focusing on one idea long enough to follow through on it. In fact, you're pretty much a daydreaming vegetable now.

I wish all the streets in our nation were replaced with giant, quick, efficient, air conditioned moving sidewalks that were free to everyone.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. Good luck getting where you're going safely when the streets are moving sidewalks going at 200 MPH. The next time you go to travel, somebody's suitcase takes your leg off at the knee.

I wish that all the cars in the world, since they're now useless, would be replaced with velociraptors.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but then the velociraptor manufacturing industry, hurting from the sudden lack of business, applies for a government bail out... which somehow leads to all the governments in the world owning their own velociraptor armies.

I wish that didn't sound as incredibly awesome as it does.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. Now it sounds even more awesome.

I wish that the velociraptors weren't just pretending to serve us while they prepare to take over the world and enslave/eat all humanity.

[BubblegumNinja]

Granted. Now they just take over the world and enslave/eat all humanity.

I wish that someone would free the world from their evil reign of terror.

[Lil_Ninja]

Granted. Now PIRATES have the world in their stinky, filthy grip! Soap is now banned, and everyone is demanded to own a parrot, and wear a patch over their right eye.
TEH HORROR!

I wish Ninjas would come in and save the world from the pirates.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but since they're masters of stealth, the manage to do the whole thing without anyone noticing.

I wish wild packs of ravenous minivans roamed the countryside.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but they eat you first.

I wish that the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal would eat the minivans.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but then the automotive industry kills it by reading it Vogon poetry.

I wish I could instantly grow significant quantities of facial hair through sheer force of will.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, through sheer force of will, you grow a neckbeard.

I wish for $750,000

[Garland]

Granted, but it is counterfeit money and you get caught by the police.

I wish for this corruption of my wish to backfire upon the corruptor.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but only because the corruptor gets a new car.

I wish that people would stop trying to defeat the corrupted wish game.

[rocklobster]

Granted, but now the game will never end.
I wish I still had an Atari.

[BubblegumNinja]

Granted, only it doesn't work.

I wish my homework was finished already.

[S.M.O.G.]

Granted, but you scor so bad they had make a new grade to describe it. Congradulaions, you just got the worlds first epic F-.

I wish for six pack abs.

[Lil_Ninja]

Tired of the long hours in the gym with little to no improvement? Don't give up hope on your stomach yet!
Introducing the all new "DRAW ON ABS"!
Simply take out the specially designed marker and draw on your six pack! It as simple as that!
(Side effects may include, but are not limited to: Burning, itching, fattening, drowsiness, memory loss, zombification, cramps, and or death.
Seek medical help if your stomach spontaneously implodes)

I wish I could grow a MUSTACHE from sheer WILLPOWER! YEAH

[BubblegumNinja]

Granted, but you become a mermaid obsessed with stamping Spongebob to death.

I wish I could fly.

[rocklobster]

Granted, but you land like an albatross (which means you suck at landings).
I wish Ponyu was already on DVD.

[Strafe]

Granted. Ponyu is on DVD. But Ponyo isn't. You're going to have to wait with the rest of us. XD

I wish I was good at everything.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. "Everything" is a game you invented to pass the time while locked in a dark and cold dungeon. It's called that because it quite literally uses everything in your cell.

I wish for a cherry Fanta Slurpee.

[Lil_Ninja]

Granted, but all while you drink it, there are people running around you in a circle singing the fanta song non stop REALLY LOUD. By the time you get to the end of your slurpee, you've become insane, and randomly yell "FANTA!" for no reason. You have fanta turrets!

I wish my eyes were blue

[Peanut]

Granted, your entire eyeball has been painted blue, leaving you blind and in a lot of pain.

I wish I had a Stand...

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, you now won and operate a Frozen Banana Stand.

I wish there was money in the Banana Stand

[Lil_Ninja]

Granted, the banana stand has money in it. Literally.
Too bad the money is useless now.

I wish my arm would stop hurting.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, now it just phantom itches... because it's been amputated.

I wish that cartoon characters could run for office.