Circle Circle, Dot Dot

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

Circle Circle, Dot Dot

Postby SnoringFrog » Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:05 pm

This idea came to me a few days ago, and tonight I convinced myself to sit down and type it out. It's my first prose piece in a while and also written in a tone I'm not very experienced with. Critique as hard as you wish.

---
"Hahaha! Look at me, mommy!" Andrew called out, dancing back and forth atop the fence that marked the end of his family's front yard and the beginning of his neighbor's. It

was not a particularly tall fence, but to a boy of his age and stature it seemed as if he were perched on top of the world. He was up where everyone in the neighborhood

could see him, and, in fact, they were all watching him at that very moment, waiting to see what he would do. Since all eyes were on him, Andrew decided to put on a show,

jumping and spinning and doing all sorts of tricks on top of the fence, never once falling. With every daring stunt, the crowd that had gathered would clap and cheer, urging

Andrew to continue. Occasionally, Andew would begin to lean drastically to one side of the fence, waving his arms frantically as if he were about to fall. This would cause the

crowd to gasp sharply before heaving a sigh of relief as Andrew regained his balance. The truth was, this fence was the widest in the neighborhood, and that allowed Andrew

to do things he could only dream of doing on top of other fences without any fear of falling or hurting himself. All of Andrew's "close calls" were just another portion of his

show. His mother, on the other hand, was not so confident in his acrobatic abilities.

"Andrew Lloyd Harris!" she shouted as she looked up from the dishes she was watching and saw her son's shenanigans outside through the kitchen window, "You get down

from that fence and come here right this instant before you fall and break your neck!" She had lost count of how many times she had caught Andrew playing on that fence,

and she just knew that one day his ego would get the best of him and he would end up seriously hurt. Normally he responded immediately to her calls, but today the crowd's

admiration won out over his mother's worry.

"Nuh-uh! I'm not gonna fall, mommy. Watch me!" the child shouted back gleefully. To convince his mom of his skill, he closed his eyes and began hopping quickly on one

foot while spinning in circles. Mrs. Harrison was not impressed; she dried her hands and came out into the yard, her voice quickly taking on much more serious tone.

"Andrew, I want you off that fence and back inside _now_. The sudden harshness in his mother's voice caused Andrew to stop his antics for a moment and look around. By

this time, nearly the entire neighborhood had crowded into his neighbor's yard to watch his performance because they could not enter the Harris' completely fenced-in yard.

Of particular interest to Andrew were the older boys, who were all staring at him, awestruck. Normally, they would have looked down on him, but his feats on the fence had

won their admiration.

Now, he found himself faced with a decision: he was tired and running out of tricks and would need to get off the fence soon, but which side should he go to? On the one

side was his mom, who was obviously very unhappy with him; on the other side, he had the acceptance and admiration from all the boys in the neighborhood. Traditionally,

he would go to his mother, facing the consquences of his misbehavior but also returning home where he would truly be loved and cared for and protected despite his

disobedience. Today, however, the choice was not so easy. Never before had his actions gathered such a large crowd. Never before did the older boys admire him like they

did now. And never before did abandoning his home and what he knew so well seem so appealing. The boys were begging Andrew to teach them his secrets as his mother

continued to threaten him with the various punishments he would face if he did not obey her immediately. Andrew's newly acquired social status and chance to avoid his

mother's anger had him ready to make the fateful leap into his neighbor's yard, but just as he prepared to leave the fence, he noticed a group of admirers he had previously

overlooked--the girls.

All of the pretty little neighborhood girls were giggling happily and staring up at Andrew, their faces overcome with infatuation. Their chatter about how cute he was soon

developed into a heated debate about which one of them would get to marry him. Soon, they settled their dispute by agreeing to share him, each of them having him for a

day at a time. Upon witnessing this, a tettible realization came to Andrew's mind--_those girls wanted to give him cooties!_ Andrew turned to jump into his own yard, the

cooties were too much for him, but at the last moment he turned one final time and leapt into his neighbor's yard. True, he would have to face the cooties on this side of the

fence, but that was a fear he would just have to learn to face. Besides, he remembered something very important he had been taught by his older brother that could protect him: "Circle circle, dot dot, now I've got the cootie shot!"
---

An alternate version of this story would have ended with this line: "Andrew made his decision, he leapt straight up into the air and landed a forever sterile boy."
UC Pseudonym wrote:For a while I wasn't sure how to answer this, and then I thought "What would Batman do?" Excuse me while I find a warehouse with a skylight...
[SIZE="7"][color="MediumTurquoise"]Cobalt Figure 8[/color][/SIZE]
DeviantArt || Myspace || Facebook || Greasemonkey Scripts || Stylish Userstyles
User avatar
SnoringFrog
 
Posts: 1159
Joined: Tue Jul 26, 2005 9:25 pm
Location: Liberty University, VA

Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 105 guests