Stalin Vs. Martians

[Peanut]

So...a few months ago I stumbled upon this game and have since be watching it closely. Now, this week, it will be released...and I'm actually kind of excited.

The premise is exactly what it sounds like...Stalin's Communist Russia verses a horde of angry Martians. There will be blood. There will be explosions and most of all...there will be dancing...

Anyway, I really can't do any justice to this game, so here's the website for it and the teaser trailer. Why the teaser trailer and not the more recent one? Because the teaser trailer is much more awesome in my opinion for reasons which should become obvious around the 29 second mark.

[Fish and Chips]

Peanut and I aren't saying it's going to be the greatest game ever made, but it fills that much-needed Tap Dancing Stalin-shaped void in all of our hearts.

Unfortunately, I've briefly sworn off PC gaming. I need to find a computer which isn't completely terrible.

[bigsleepj]

...but it fills that much-needed Tap Dancing Stalin-shaped void in all of our hearts.

Maybe there isn't much of a void either. I'm not sure if it's tap-dancing, but the Australian movie Children of the Revolution apparently has a bizarre musical sequence where Stalin and Khrushchev do a song and dance rendition of Cole Porter's I get a kick out of you. I haven't seen the movie though and I couldn't find a clip of it on youtube either.

[Peanut]

Maybe there isn't much of a void either. I'm not sure if it's tap-dancing, but the Australian movie Children of the Revolution apparently has a bizarre musical sequence where Stalin and Khrushchev do a song and dance rendition of Cole Porter's I get a kick out of you. I haven't seen the movie though and I couldn't find a clip of it on youtube either.

But it isn't a digital Stalin...who can eventually be used as a unit in the game...and there is also that command to dance...does the Stalin of that movie command the audience to dance? That is a void which has yet to be filled in my humble opinion...

[Robin Firedrake]

Game designers are sorely in need of new ideas.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Game designers are sorely in need of new ideas.

Lies. This is quite possibly the best idea ever.

[bigsleepj]

But it isn't a digital Stalin...who can eventually be used as a unit in the game...and there is also that command to dance...does the Stalin of that movie command the audience to dance? That is a void which has yet to be filled in my humble opinion...

Comrade Tolstoy says: "Seems like you just created void specifically for filling, much like a dentist drill hole."

[Peanut]

Well...you...he...you win this round Tolstoy...

By the way, I have the game, ready to install, however I won't play it until at the earliest friday...yeah...

[Lady Kenshin]

Let us know how it is! That's just epic!

[Peanut]

Well...I've played the game and beaten a mission...so here is my first impression of the game:

-The game is rather funny...this is perfectly on display when you start it up and it asks you to stand for the National anthem. The screen then changes to a USSR flag accompanied by the USSR national anthem. Needless to say, I both stood and laughed at the same time. Also, the lines from the units are rather funny as well...even if they are repeated ad nauseum (though that's the way it is with all strategy games...). The soundtrack is all techno-ish and actually adds to the humor of the game...but it got painful after a while...

-The game is fast paced...really really fast paced...almost to the point where I had to reject all notion of strategy and tactics and rely entirely on amassing as many units as possible and just mowing down whatever moved...admittingly I think this is what they were going for seeing as how when you stumble accross hidden reinforcements in the first mission it gives you the message "More Cannon Fodder."

-This game is rather mind numbing...I just finished playing it and it feels as if my brain has been jabbed reppeatedly with some sort of dull instrument of torture...ok that isn't mind numbing in the least...but don't you see...this is what this game has done to me! It's fried my brain!

So yeah...I will play more and eventually beat this game (I've heard that at some point you get to use Stalin...as a unit...and he's 50 foot metal giant or something...)...I'm just hoping none of the missions ever require much strategic thought because honestly...the game just moves to fast for me to do anything more then just building lots of tanks and rolling over anything that stands in my way...

[Jingo Jaden]

Wow..... I did smell a stinker on this, but I have never seen so many abysmal reviews on one game in such short notice. Gamespot gave it as low as 1,5. IGN gave it 2.0 and pretty much every review site I have seen gives it a rating someplace on that level.

Buggy, broken and to put it mildly it is a waste of potential.

[Peanut]

Eh, reviews are subjective, I'm still going to play it rhough and see how it is...if it stinks...oh well, I didn't buy it expecting it to be good...I bought it to see Stalin vs. Martians and that I already know it delievers on.

[Jingo Jaden]

Well, no one can blame the dancing Stalin because that alone is awesome. However, it nearly goes into the same concept that if someone were to make a Tennis game featuring Hitler in tennis clothes playing against Churchill, Stalin and whatnot. Now would it be funny? Yeah, for the first two hours max I am guessing, but it gets monotone after a while, paticullary if the game has an untold number of bugs and nothing else going for it.

Don't get me wrong, I'd really like to like this game and I have not played it, but alot of the game looks not only boring, but downright fustrating. I'd rather not hear 'I die.' all the time either. It is not a full price game, but it comes close and even the metal/rock dance reveals that they did not really take their time since most shots are repeated at least five times.