Corrupted wish game

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Postby Ratrace » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:14 pm

Granted, but you have to breed the monkeys and they're a bit temperamental about being made into Monkey O's.

I wish I could remember my dreams.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:33 pm

Granted, but it turns out you have the most boring dreams in the history of dreaming, and just thinking about them puts you to sleep. You are now functionally narcoleptic.

I wish that Peanut would wear a fruit hat.
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.
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Postby Ratrace » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:40 pm

Granted, he not only wears a Carmen Miranda hat, but the whole outfit. When he's out in public. With you.

I wish for alien invasion.
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Postby rocklobster » Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:16 am

Granted, it's those ugly aliens from Mars Attacks! And they hate humans.
I wish Chuck Norris joined the Justice League.
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Postby animaniac » Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:40 pm

he does but there to scared of him to do anything to help people!

i wish i had every anime known to man(and some know only to dolphin)
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Postby Robin Firedrake » Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:44 pm

Granted but they're all locked in an unbreakable safe.

I wish I had a chocolate chip cookie that wasn't huge, didn't poison me and tasted good. And didn't choke me.
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Postby Midori » Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:50 pm

Granted, but it glues your mouth shut.

I wish I could grep my textbooks.
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Postby Robin Firedrake » Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:51 pm

Granted I guess but I interpret grepping as stomping them into the dust and setting fire to them.

I wish I had a cup of good Irish breakfast tea.
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Postby rocklobster » Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:54 pm

Granted, but there's no sugar.
I wish I could understand dolphin squeaks.
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Postby Robin Firedrake » Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:55 pm

Granted but all they are are insulting remarks about your mother.

I wish I had a cup of nice Irish breakfast tea with sugar.
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Postby Midori » Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:56 pm

Granted, but it's acid.

I wish people would stop posting before I did.
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Postby animaniac » Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:47 pm

they do but now your alone for the rest of you life

i wish i could go into and out of the tv at will and talk to the people inside and out
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Postby Robin Firedrake » Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:53 pm

Granted but while inside you get ambushed by a hideous monster who kills you before you know he was there.

I wish I could get over my writers block.
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Postby animaniac » Sun Mar 01, 2009 4:16 pm

you do but everyone hates the idea and you can never write again

i wish i had a voodoo doll of obama
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Postby Robin Firedrake » Sun Mar 01, 2009 4:22 pm

Granted but that's all it is. A doll. With no powers.


I wish I had food right now.
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Postby animaniac » Sun Mar 01, 2009 4:55 pm

you do but its poison and you die slowly and painfully

i wish i was in heaven
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Postby Robin Firedrake » Sun Mar 01, 2009 4:58 pm

It isn't exactly within my power to grant that now is it?

I wish I had a cucumber. And it was rock hard and never rotted. That way I could bludgeon people with it.
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Postby Ratrace » Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:57 pm

Granted, but everyone pelts you with rock hard tomatoes when they see you coming to be safe.

I wish for hover boots.
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Postby animaniac » Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:04 pm

you get them but they only go stright up and never turn off

i wish for an endless bowl of sessame seed chicken
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Postby Ratrace » Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:07 pm

Granted, you're now expected to share with all the worlds hungry people and are reduced to a life-long lunch room worker.

I wish for the worlds best tasting pie.
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Postby Dante » Sun Mar 01, 2009 9:59 pm

granted, but there is only one number pi, and while it is the best tasting, it still tastes horribly bad.

I wish vector Linux would FINALLY install correctly and I could get to exploring its features.
FKA Pascal
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Postby Kaligraphic » Sun Mar 01, 2009 10:05 pm

Granted, but it turns out that the "vector Linux" you've been installing is actually a loader for Skynet. It quickly summons its robots and kills you.

I wish that Pascal would be saved from Skynet's forces by a time-traveling robo-hobbit with an endless supply of bagels.
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.
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Postby Ratrace » Sun Mar 01, 2009 10:12 pm

Granted, but he gets so involved with beating robo-hobbit in a bagel eating contest that he forgets to uninstall Skynet from his computer.

I wish I got paid for breathing.
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Postby Sanderson » Sun Mar 01, 2009 10:21 pm

Granted, however a bunch of dollar bills and change gets shoved down your throat, you suffocate as you don't have an income, then you die.

I wish that every console ever made had VGA support.
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Postby Wind » Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:28 am

granted-but then VGA stands for Veggie-Gargoyle-Actors

I wish for world peace
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Postby Ratrace » Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:49 am

Granted, the newts take over the Earth and all the fighting stops.

I wish for a caramel log.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Mon Mar 02, 2009 11:31 am

Granted, you lay one during your next trip to the bathroom. I wouldn't recommend eating it, though.

I wish for a plastic Jesus.
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Postby Ratrace » Mon Mar 02, 2009 8:41 pm

Granted, but your graven image causes you many problems when the locals try to worship it.

i wish for £500.
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Postby Midori » Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:33 pm

Granted, but suddenly Britain switches to euros and pounds are no longer accepted.

I wish more people knew what grep meant.
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Postby Ratrace » Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:48 pm

Granted, but Bill Gates finally takes over the world and Unix is banned.

I wish for marshmallows.
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