Corrupted wish game

Spawned by the randomness of the general board, here are the threads where you can do fun, pointless things. You may test the forum's features and make signature or avatar requests. Posts made here do not go towards your post count.

Postby Dante » Sun Feb 15, 2009 5:08 pm

Granted. Your stomach is as hard as rock and hence crushes you to the floor under its weight (and you can only lay without being crushed stomach down)... What an entirely discomforting and ultimately useless wish.

I wish I could eliminate all the problems and pains that the world has, is and will ever face, including Kali's stomach problem, by simply choosing to cease to exist.
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Postby Blitzkrieg1701 » Mon Feb 16, 2009 9:51 am

Granted, but that's because the whole world is actually just a figment of your imagination in the first place.

I wish I wasn't experiencing post-con depression right now (I miss being at an anime convention!!!)
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[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Purple"]For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that one died for all, therefore all died; and he that died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14-15[/color][/font]
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Postby Kaligraphic » Mon Feb 16, 2009 1:58 pm

Granted, you're now experiencing a different kind of post-con depression, as you're missing great gobs of money that you just got tricked out of.

I wish that there was a movie about the world being conquered by lemurs.
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.
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Postby Dante » Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:01 am

Granted. But it was based off a true story.

I wish the next poster would have to immediately dance to this (sound on...loud) THREE times in a row!:evil:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldejLpUhMVc
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Postby Midori » Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:50 am

OH NO!
Granted, but I'm not a poster. However...
[ATTACH]34426[/ATTACH] (click)
This is.

I wish I could freeze time before my replies.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:16 pm

Granted, but time freezes for you as well, so the first time you use it, the universe effectively ends.

I wish that the universe would be restarted by a kindly race of omnipotent alien beetles.
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Postby Dante » Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:24 pm

Granted... but they are dung beetles and they reform the universe into a hypersphere... so... yeah... O_o. I guess that means we're the *.

I wish I knew why I had two identical really old telephones from IBX sitting in my room... both of which have voice mail but neither of which I have ever used (or checked).
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Postby rocklobster » Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:12 pm

Granted, but they are doorways into...
The Twilight Zone!
I wish I had a Smash Bernie Madeoff doll.
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Postby Dante » Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:25 pm

Granted. :D
I somehow feel compelled to not corrupt this one.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:04 am

Compulsion granted, but you corrupt it anyway. Smash Bernie Madoff is now a wildly popular band, making money for... yup, Bernie Madoff.

I wish that Bernie Madoff and Rod Blagojevich had a reality TV show together.
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Postby Ratrace » Wed Feb 18, 2009 2:47 pm

Granted, but like most reality shows it's complete garbage. so much so that even fans of Big Brother hate it with a passion and stop watching TV for a time. In an attempt to get back viewers TV producers invent the first physically addictive television and three quarters of the world's population eventually die when they refuse to stop watching even to eat or drink.

I wish beauty pageant contestants would stop saying they want world peace.so that people can actually try to acheive it without feeling foolish.
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Postby rocklobster » Wed Feb 18, 2009 4:41 pm

Granted, but only the beautiful people get world peace.
I wish my cousin's band Freakshow was a worldwide success.
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Postby Ratrace » Wed Feb 18, 2009 6:12 pm

Granted, but once everyone learns there're not actually a freakshow they lose interest.

I wish I knew why Goof Off got so empty while I was away.
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Postby Blitzkrieg1701 » Wed Feb 18, 2009 9:30 pm

Granted. Now you know about the Elder Gods that have been eating them. That knowledge leads only to insanity.

I wish Koopa Troopas were edible
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[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Purple"]For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that one died for all, therefore all died; and he that died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14-15[/color][/font]
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Postby Lil_Ninja » Wed Feb 18, 2009 9:40 pm

Granted, but only to Yoshi, so you are immediately turned into a Yoshi. The bad thing about that is, you lay eggs everywhere and you have random urges to eat very sharp, and evil objects. As you can imagine, it causes you a great amount of pain.

I wish the world's theme song was THIS.
[SIZE="5"][color="Blue"]~[/color][color="Lime"]K[/color][color="Blue"]Y[/color][color="Lime"]L[/color][color="blue"]L[/color][color="lime"]A[/color][color="blue"]H[/color][color="lime"]A[/color][color="blue"]N[/color][color="blue"]~[/color][/SIZE]
[color="cyan"][SIZE="5"]42[/SIZE][/color]
[color="royalBlue"][SIZE="1"]The meaning of life,
the universe,
and everything.[/SIZE][/color]
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Postby Kaligraphic » Wed Feb 18, 2009 11:26 pm

Granted, but you're the only one who can hear it. And it never stops.

I wish that noodles grew on trees.
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Postby Blitzkrieg1701 » Fri Feb 20, 2009 11:37 am

Granted. unfortunately, this means ever time it rains, all the forrests in the world get soggy and limp, destroying the lumber industry.

I wish Scotch tape had healing powers
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[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Purple"]For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that one died for all, therefore all died; and he that died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14-15[/color][/font]
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Postby Kaligraphic » Fri Feb 20, 2009 12:42 pm

Granted, but it only heals other Scotch tape. And only by adding a layer to hold the broken layer together.

I wish that Scotch tape killed people.
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Postby Blitzkrieg1701 » Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:44 pm

Granted. Now everyone is concerned wbout North Korea's Scotch tape program

I wish Godzilla and Pepsiman had an epic battle
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[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Purple"]For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that one died for all, therefore all died; and he that died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14-15[/color][/font]
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Postby Lil_Ninja » Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:50 pm

Granted, they have a battle of epicness. Epic FAIL ness.. Causing the wisher to implode.

I wish I had the word "Kyllahan" tattooed to my forehead.
[SIZE="5"][color="Blue"]~[/color][color="Lime"]K[/color][color="Blue"]Y[/color][color="Lime"]L[/color][color="blue"]L[/color][color="lime"]A[/color][color="blue"]H[/color][color="lime"]A[/color][color="blue"]N[/color][color="blue"]~[/color][/SIZE]
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Postby Shiningmonk_e » Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:58 pm

you do but the tattoo artist messed up and scribbled all over your face.

I wish I had a third eye...
"Who is this?" they said to Me
'That the wind and waves obey
Come, let's hang Him on a tree
That His reign should pass away'
But here I am I say to you
Though you turn away, it is My will
To love you for forevermore
Peace be still, peace be still
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Postby Kaligraphic » Fri Feb 20, 2009 3:01 pm

Granted, but it's in your stomach. You are constantly queasy from seeing what your food looks like after you eat it.

I wish that one could make whisky out of dreams.
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Postby Dante » Fri Feb 20, 2009 3:57 pm

Granted. But now you have no goals (dreams) hence you pitifully sip away on your whisky and wish you never wished for- What were you talking about again to the pink Elephant?

I wish Bernie Madeoff would finally realize... Capitalism runs off circular logic schemes not pyramid schemes.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:09 pm

Granted, but once people abandon pyramid schemes, the entire financial world of capitalism dismantles itself, and we are left to be purchased by the communists at rock-bottom prices.

I wish for a banana crêpe.
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Postby Ratrace » Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:01 pm

Granted, it's flown to you from France at great personal expense to yourself and is cold when you finally sneak it through customs. The environmental protesters outside your door don't seem to like it much either.

I wish everyone had one solid week in their life where they have to tell the truth.
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Postby Dante » Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:36 pm

Granted. But they declare it a national sleeping holday.

Granted, but once people abandon pyramid schemes, the entire financial world of capitalism dismantles itself, and we are left to be purchased by the communists at rock-bottom prices.


Thus... as you can tell, you've now granted TWO of my wishes :P without even realizing it!

I wish my army of robots would successfully make Temuoplis the new world power as an extension of my wish accidentally granted by Kaligraphic.
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Postby Ratrace » Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:45 pm

Granted, you're now the weakest world power, thereby making you about due for CIA assassinations to clear out your non-threatening leaders and make room for the psychos. Since Temuoplis doesn't have any of those they start with you.

I wish this post didn't make me sound like a conspiracy nut.
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Postby Dante » Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:02 pm

Granted. But you're a part of the Temuoplis world power... Thus it is expected you would realize this... too bad we decided to make you our first leader as a sacrificial pawn to the CIA.

I wish the CIA plot would fail (except with Raytrace) and we would be the STRONGEST world power... with us TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!
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Postby Ratrace » Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:05 pm

Granted, RAYTRACE takes my place, you freeze on Pluto.

I wish people would realise I don't fall for the sacrificial pawn trick.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:44 pm

Granted, but you fall for every other trick in the book, including the "sacrificial fool" trick, which is almost identical to the sacrificial pawn trick, but more insulting to the pawn.

I wish that all the countries and powers in the entire solar system would unite under the leadership of... Tsukuyomi.
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