Corrupted wish game

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but cramming all that bloated political weight into one space causes the spontaneous generation of a single, bureaucratic hive mind: THE OMNITICIAN.

I wish The Omnitician was the main character in a twisted, surreal comic book series.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but that twisted, surreal comic book turns out to be every newspaper in the world. And it's real.

I wish that the Omnitician was a dietician instead of a politician.

[Dante]

Granted, but its a horrible diet he has. Essentially it consists of eating with one Lobbiest after another and he pays the bill every time (for what the Lobbiests want) using YOUR tax dollars.

I wish the singularity would happen, that robots would finally take over the world, and I would join them... and because we were programmers, Kali and I would be considered equals with them as their fore-fathers and periodically updated to stay in check with the exponential growth that is... THE TECHNOLOGICAL SINGULARITY!!! @_@

... eh... the person that corrupts this wish is not an equal though... and can be considered one of our pets.

[Lil_Ninja]

Granted, but soon they realize that their knowledge is more superior than yours and that you are just dragging them down, thus making you a sacrifice to the new robot lord, a computer chip from the future.

I wish I had my own bed with my name on it when I'm a pet.

[S.M.O.G.]

Granted, you have a bed with your name on it. Just a bed. No matress. From a dollhouse.

I wish no one would corrupt this wish. Ever.

[Midori]

Granted. Your wish must now corrupt itself, in a never-ending chain of pain and sorrow, and everyone that hears it is filled with pity and horror. Now look what you've done!

I wish I had perfect teeth.

[Lil_Ninja]

Perfect teeth from an Ogars stand point. But they're still really crooked.

I wish I had an object I could carry around that was sparkly.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but carrying around a lit sparkler causes you terrible burns (>1000 C), and is quite painful.

I wish that I had a robotic killing machine that would obey my commands perfectly.

[rocklobster]

Granted, but you must enter your commands in binary code.
I wish I had a dragon that turned into a jeep

[Dante]

Granted. It gets very bad gas for its mileage though and you're forced to pay through the nose... and your nose WILL PAY! IT WILL PAY DEARLY!

I wish I was a teenage anime super-villian in an anime world (3-d with REALLY good cel shading!) with a generally good heart, but misguided directions (Not PURE evil... just evil as in a good anime super-villian (OK. a almost KIND anime super-villian)). And that Kaligraphic and Peanut were my ultimate nemesis, leading a small band of friends which I would daily (in a non-chaulon fashion) try to crush to prove the power of my vast inventions, super powers and armies over the "petty power of friendship". (JM and Temulin would be my underlings, constantly seeking to unsurp me but being unsuccessful at nothing but creating an epic side-plot to the already epic plot of our lives)

I would like it to involve a long and epic journey with me winning at every turn until a climax is reached (often with me laughing maniacally as I become overconfident in my own often astounding abilities and genius). At this point, the power of friendship can come and defeat me... or they may fail... that's up to how you want to corrupt the wish... in the end though it will leave excellent room for the next episodes where I fight to over-come the corruption of this wish. Or maybe... revel in my victory?

Oh... and no other anime super-villians during this arc can be greater then me.

The next person to corrupt my wish may be my evil henchman! (Or woman)

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, you are the anime villain of a slice-of-life comedy, where you constantly disrupt social events and create awkwardness, shrugging off attempts to normalize the situation. Peanut and I are high school students who keep trying to get our adventure club out of debt by bake-offs and events, only to have your inventions cause havoc and damage, which is then charged to the adventure club. Meanwhile, our entire club is fighting over the affections of your sister, whose hair inexplicably changes color from one scene to the next. Many people pretend to be your friend just to get close to your sister, which has left you feeling that friendship is a sham, and nobody likes you for yourself. You especially resent Peanut and myself because we can do the whole sparkling bishounen thing, and are super-cool and have many friends, while you have only your sister. JM and Temmy are two middle-schoolers who are constantly trying to take your place at the science fair, but otherwise serve as your lab assistants, and you boss them around mercilessly because they're the only ones who will let you. Unfortunately, the show changes hands after four episodes, your sister becomes a tentacle monster, and things go downhill from there. Dodgy importers won't even touch it, it's so bad.

I wish that the anime hadn't changed hands, and had played out as it was supposed to.

[Dante]

Granted. But it played out the way that my I desired it to, with complete destruction of your adventure club... and me sacrificing my sister to summon an ultimate weapon to take over the world... Worse yet... the next poster was to become my evil henchman, your character ends up joining my rank and disproving "The value of friendship"! I laugh maniacally and vaporize the jerks that wanted to do the whole tentacle monster thing...

I wish my anime would be transformed to a more serious note, with an emphasis on the epic, and... (with my iron fist crushing all that stand in my path)...

The next person to corrupt my wish can start a new band of super-heroes to defeat my ever growing power MWAH HA HA HA!!! THESE BAKED GOODS ARE GREAT KALI! BEING THE RULER OF THE WORLD IS GREAT!

[Kaligraphic]

The next person to corrupt my wish may be my evil henchman! (Or woman)

The word 'may' indicates option, not compulsion. The next person to post declined to exercise that option.

Anyway, granted, the anime turned to a more serious note, as you try to release nerve gas in school. You manage to kill some, but die horribly at the hands of my band of "heroes" at the beginning of the series. We spend the majority of the series on a truly epic philosophical journey examining life and death, the nature of heroism, the justification for violence, and whether we had really gone too far in killing you. Also, no more "the next person" bits, that counts as a second wish, and you only get one wish per post.

I wish that chickens had hoofs.

[S.M.O.G.]

The hoofs alow them to run much, much faster, so humans cannot catch them, so no one will ever eat another chicken. Then, as they are not being killed by humans, they are able to greatly increase in number and take over the wold and take revenge for thousands of years of being food.

I wish I were Sephiroth.

[Ratrace]

Granted, but your too busy surviving the constant chicken onslaughts to really enjoy your new self.

I wish morning people would finally see things from everyone else's point of view.

[Dante]

Granted, your vision is now switched... thus you look in the mirror and see them and they look in the mirror and see you... But your bodies aren't switched, so what you see has nothing to do with how reality is. Hence you can reach for what looks like a glass of orange juice but accidentally pinch the butt of a bouncer next to a club... yeah. Hurtz to be you... or them.

(WORSE YET! They wake up at 3:30 AM every morning physically and thus your are forced to wake up with them... AND THEY'RE ALWAYS SO HAPPY... BUT YOU'RE STUCK IN THEIR MIND NOOOOOO!!!!!)

I wish Kaligraphic had to listen to more death metal polka music combined with a form of russian choir rap.

[Ratrace]

Granted, in his ensuing insanity he moves in with you.

(By the way, I have no objection to that part of the morning)

I wish you would corrupt this wish in such a funny, surprising and brilliant way that you get crowned the most amazing person on line ever.

[Midori]

THIS! IS! GRANTED!!!!!!!!!! *kicks Ratrace into a pit*

I wish I would get crowned the most amazing person online ever.

[Lil_Ninja]

Granted, but it's by Sparta Fangirls for using the already overused pun AGAIN.

I wish I had a pet Cheshire Cat

[Ratrace]

Granted, the Disney version. The dental bills alone are enough to cover this wish. Not to mention the attitude.

I wish purple monkey dishwasher.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but orange orangutan orthopedist.

I wish that living with Pascal didn't mean eating off of Riemann surfaces and drinking out of Kein bottles.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted. Now it means devouring the souls of the innocent to live.

I wish I didn't have to wake up before 5 am tomorrow

[Dante]

Granted. You don't have to wake up before 5 am tomorrow... BECAUSE YOU NEVER GOT TO SLEEP!

THIS! IS! GRANTED!!!!!!!!!! *kicks Ratrace into a pit*

Epic wish granting. Just. Plain. Epic.

After coming to a deeper appreciation of Kaligraphics musical tastes (and I DO LOVE the death metal polka music combined with a form of russian choir rap style... its just a very acquired taste). Nor do I think I would have to worry about his eating my soul... I do have one wish though. I WISH HE WOULD CLEAN UP AFTER HE EATS! I MEAN COME ON!

Allow me to specify:

1) When cleaning the Rieman surfaces, please remember that the sum of the interior angles in the triangles drawn in that space don't necessarily add up to 180 degrees... So modify your cleaning patterns accordingly.

2)After drinking out of the Klein Bottle (AND ITS PRONOUNCED KLEIN NOT KEIN) please get ALL of the liquid out first and clean them thoroughly. (Don't leave some stuck on the one end... I found some... and its nasty... I can tell that you backwash).

3) Finally, when dusting in my Alice universe, please stop to think that any static discharge you build up on your rag might accidently intercept an Alice Handle Wormhole hence flipping the stripped electrons to positrons, resulting in a matter anti-matter explosion. OBVIOUSLY this defeats the purpose of dusting to begin with. And worse yet. It interrupts my sessions of death metal polka music combined with a form of russian choir rap...

Yes... that about sums it up. Please get to those things right away...

[Ratrace]

Granted, Since all beings who eat the souls of the innocent need a slave he gets you and orders you to clean up when he's done.

I wish Pascal would stop creating unstable universes near my home dimension.

[Dante]

granted...

sqrt(x1^2 + x^2 + x3^2) = 4 lightyears...

but...

sqrt(sum(xi^2), i = 1... infinity) = 1 quarternion nano-meter from your brain... Hence the physical distance is far, but the generalized infinite-dimensional distance is not only close, its not even in real numbers... hence you are forced to experience vast quantities of wierd things in your everyday life and even worse... you have a strange and unstoppable desire to pick up various advanced (huge) physics texts and stuff them through your nose so that I can pick them up through your brain and enjoy them on the other side... don't worry... it won't hurt... at least not in a real way, but the pain will be quite excrusiating in quarternions... tell me how that feels if you could, I'm rather interested.

Wait a sec. That didn't even come close to granting my wish. I asked that "HE" clean up after himself. I WISH FOR A BETTER WISH CORRUPTION OF MY LAST WISH!

[Midori]

Granted, he goes back in time and cleans your house properly, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and cleans it again even better, but then later when this wish comes around, he goes back and clea
Segmentation Fault
Pascal@life:~$




I wish I could calculate arcsin(-3)

[Dante]

Granted. But in the process of your epic proof you are forced to include a lemma that shows why you or I can never get a girlfriend.

I wish president Obama would come online to play the corrupted wish game and corrupt our wishes when he was board... and that it would turn out that he could produce the most epic corruptions ever to exist!

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but his corruption is so epic that it destroys the laws of physics, rendering your life's work meaningless - and, coincidentally, destroying all of reality.

I wish that we could replace the destroyed real physics with anime physics and save the universe.

[Dante]

Granted. But it involves bringing my anime character back to life in an epic biological experiment... now feeling oddly indebted to a mad and even more brilliant scientist. He goes forth to bring about his benefactors will, all the while masquerading as his old self who was just trying to take over the world (Of course this is just a hoax to hide whatever his benefactors will is). But for now my reanimation only appears in the shadows... so... thus you bring about a new evil plot in the universe... well maybe just the world. (We've gone beyond middle school )

I wish that my anime character could fullfill his benefactors purpose in reanimating him.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but all his benefactor truly wanted was some idle amusement while waiting for the Red Green Show to come on.

I wish for Caladbolg.