CAA Free-For-Alls

Spawned by the randomness of the general board, here are the threads where you can do fun, pointless things. You may test the forum's features and make signature or avatar requests. Posts made here do not go towards your post count.

Postby Lil_Ninja » Sun Dec 28, 2008 6:06 pm

I wanna go up against Hana_Ryuuzaki XD
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Postby KumaruRockz » Sun Dec 28, 2008 7:01 pm

Hmm...It's on. *sharpens gigantic sword*
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Postby Hana Ryuuzaki » Sun Dec 28, 2008 7:04 pm

[font="palatino Linotype"]Okay, Lil_Ninja!

Bwahhahahaha!!!!![/font]
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Postby Lil_Ninja » Sun Dec 28, 2008 7:05 pm

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAa!
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Postby KhakiBlueSocks » Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:19 pm

Ingemar (post: 1277941) wrote:Hmmm....

GeneD vs. KhakiBlueSocks

Setting: A random Town

GeneD:
Fear me, CAA's token black guy! For I have--

KBS:
We have more than one black guy. For instance, there's Nightshade X--

Nightshade X:
Actually I consider myself the whitest Asian I know in a black man's body (gets booted from the battle by the ANNOUNCER)

Announcer:
LESS CHATTING, MORE FIGHTING!!!

GeneD.
Ahem. As I said, I have... drumroll please....

(drumroll)

...THE BILTONG OF POWER!!!

(GENE D munches on a strip of meat and glows a la any typical Shounen manga. She rushes towards KBS and swings her arms around, causing much destruction.)

KBS:
AIIIIIEEEEE!!!! Oh help me God!

Deus ex Machina:
As you wish.

(just then, brilliant rays of light shine upon the earth. A HITSUGAYA PLUSHIE descends into KBS's hands)

GeneD:
(with mouth wide open)OMG it's HITSUGAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(KBS takes advantage of the opportunity to shove the plushie down GENE D's throat, asphyxiating her)

Winner: Khaki Blue Socks


I WON!!!! WHOO-HOO!!!!
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" wrote:RustyClaymore 11:27 - Ah yes, Socks is the single raindrop responsible for the flood. XD


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Postby Ingemar » Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:56 pm

Lil_Ninja vs. KumaruRockz

Lil_Ninja:
Let's fight!

KR:
You're on!

(A gigantic steamroller falls on them, killing them both instantly. FISHANDCHIPS is standing on top of it, looking maniacal)

F&C:
WRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Match called on account of weather.
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Postby Etoh*the*Greato » Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:58 pm

*claps* I'd like to thank the national weather service.
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Postby KumaruRockz » Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:49 pm

Oh Dio, you never seem to disappoint us :) I'll be back...WITH WEAPONS!


(Seriously, that was totally not a real match :p)
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Postby Lil_Ninja » Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:54 am

That..Was..Awesome! XDD

DEATH BY STEAMROLLER! I wouldn't have it any other way.. Unless there was tacos involved ^^
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Postby That Dude » Tue Dec 30, 2008 1:02 am

Ingy.

I CHALLANGE YOU!

(just kidding....)
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Postby GeneD » Thu Jan 01, 2009 9:48 am

Ingemar (post: 1277941) wrote:Hmmm....

GeneD vs. KhakiBlueSocks

Setting: A random Town

GeneD:
Fear me, CAA's token black guy! For I have--

KBS:
We have more than one black guy. For instance, there's Nightshade X--

Nightshade X:
Actually I consider myself the whitest Asian I know in a black man's body (gets booted from the battle by the ANNOUNCER)

Announcer:
LESS CHATTING, MORE FIGHTING!!!

GeneD.
Ahem. As I said, I have... drumroll please....

(drumroll)

...THE BILTONG OF POWER!!!

(GENE D munches on a strip of meat and glows a la any typical Shounen manga. She rushes towards KBS and swings her arms around, causing much destruction.)

KBS:
AIIIIIEEEEE!!!! Oh help me God!

Deus ex Machina:
As you wish.

(just then, brilliant rays of light shine upon the earth. A HITSUGAYA PLUSHIE descends into KBS's hands)

GeneD:
(with mouth wide open)OMG it's HITSUGAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(KBS takes advantage of the opportunity to shove the plushie down GENE D's throat, asphyxiating her)

Winner: Khaki Blue Socks


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was awesome! Well done, KBS!

Asphyxiation by Hitsugaya plushie...well I guess there are worse ways to go. The biltong was great though. :grin:
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Postby Ingemar » Thu Jan 01, 2009 9:30 pm

Next...

Stephen vs. Ingemar

You really, really, REALLY won't want to miss it!!!
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Postby That Dude » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:48 pm

This has all the makings of what I like to call. Crazy Epic.
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Postby KhakiBlueSocks » Wed Jan 07, 2009 1:11 pm

Agreed, Dude who is That...epic and really messy...I'll get the mop and the blotter now...
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" wrote:RustyClaymore 11:27 - Ah yes, Socks is the single raindrop responsible for the flood. XD


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Postby Ingemar » Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:01 pm

[SIZE="7"]Stephen vs. Ingemar[/SIZE]

(SETTING: An apartment complex. At night.)

Stephen:
(voice over)Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen again... and again.

OK, maybe not again and again. But it has to happen.

I love the CAA. I love the discussions, Goof Off is my favorite. But tonight I have something different in mind.

(STEVE waits by INGEMAR's apartment)

Steve:
There he is. Ingemar, formerly known as Cephas. He's the one.

(INGEMAR is seen on his computer, doing Goof-Off related mischief. He suddenly has the urge to get some Burger King (don't ask) and heads into his car. Just as he starts the ignition, STEVE strangles him with a fishing wire garrote from behind the driver's seat)

Steve:
You're mine now so do exactly as I say.

Ingemar:
What do you want?

Steve:
I want you to be quiet. Now drive.

(They drive off the main roads into a wilderness, and end up in an abandoned hut. STEVE grabs INGEMAR by the neck and throws him to the dirt.)

Steve:
You have to listen. Do what I say.

(STEVE drags him to the hut)

Steve:
Look.

Ingemar:
No.

Steve:
Uh, yes.

Ingemar:
No...no.

Steve:
It's horrible, isn't it, isn't it? [SIZE="5"]OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID![/SIZE] Look or I'll cut your eyelids right off your face.

(INGEMAR sees the bodies of everyone who's been killed in the Free-For-Alls so far. Not only that, bitemarks are clearly visible on those who haven't been reduced to ash or a paste)

Steve:
It took me a long time to get these members clean. One of them had been in the ground so long he was falling apart, I pulled him out in bits and pieces.

Ingemar:
(whispers) Ashley, Mith, Link, Corrie, please get this psychopath--

Steve:
(slaps him) STOP. That never helped anybody.

Ingemar:
Please, you can have anything.

Steve:
That's good beg. These poor members? Beg.

Ingemar:
.... I couldn't help myself, I couldn't... please, you have to understand.

Steve:
Trust me, I definitely understand. See, I can't help myself either. But biting, I could never do that. Not like you. Never. Ever. NOMs.

Ingemar:
Why?

Steve:
I have standards. (STEVE injects INGEMAR with a fast-acting tranquilizer)


(INGEMAR finds himself nude and saran-wrapped and gagged on a stainless steel table. The room is draped on all walls and the floor with plastic wrap. STEVE is wearing protective gear and surrounded by all sorts of powertools and kitchen utencils. He makes an incision on INGEMAR's cheek and pipettes a drop of blood into a microscope slide.)

Steve:
Soon, you'll be packed into a few neatly wrapped Hefties in my own small corner of the world. It will be a neater, happier place. A better place.

(STEVE beheads INGEMAR with a power saw.

He spends the next hour methodically dismembering him and stuffing the remains in Hefty bags)


Steve:
*sigh* Another good night.

(Before he could stuff the remains into a car, STEVE finds himself surrounded by MILLIONS OF BEARS!)

Steve:
Huh. I definitely didn't plan for this.


[SIZE="5"]Uh.... draw?[/SIZE]
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Postby Sparx00 » Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:20 pm

Think Steve could use a can of mace about now? o.o
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Postby mechana2015 » Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:31 pm

Steve can kill bears. He does it regularly.
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Postby Radical Dreamer » Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:49 pm

HOW DID I MISS THE CHRISTMAS POST? That's the most incredible thing I've ever read!! LOLOL


Also I'm pretty sure that Steve can not only defeat millions of bears, but he can also ride them. This is but hearsay but it's Steve so it's probably true.
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Postby Tsukuyomi » Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:11 pm

mechana2015 (post: 1280738) wrote:Steve can kill bears. He does it regularly.


He has them as pets in his backyard 8D

(Lol @ the fight XD)
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Postby Ingemar » Fri Jan 09, 2009 8:54 pm

[SIZE="7"]Christian News Post-Intelligencer[/SIZE]

[SIZE="5"][font="Georgia"]Stephen vs. Ingemar battle a hoax, says former Soul Society captain[/font][/SIZe]

HUECO MUNDO--The ultraviolent final confrontation between CAA moderator Stephen Notlisted and former Christian Anime Sports Network anchor Ingemar drew in crowds from all over Animated Christendom (or Christian Animedom). Hundreds watched on the edge of their seats as bloody battle drew to an astonishing conclusion.

A conclusion, claims former Soul Society Captain Sosuke Aizen, that was as artificial as its introduction.

"It was all a trick, all an illusion!" says Aizen. "This was all the work of my zanpakutou Kyoka Suigetsu."

Aizen's empathic spiritually-inhabited sword (called zanpakutou) has the ability to decieve all five senses. In addition to faking the outcome of the Stephen vs. Ingemar fight, it was also alleged that it was used to fake his own death and decieve millions of young people into believeing that Tite Kubo is a competent mangaka.

Doubts arose over the veracity of the fight when both Steve and Ingemar were asked about the true outcome. Both denied that they were ever told to fight each other. On the night of the fight, Ingemar said he spent several hours editing tvtropes.org, while Steve was busy combing his beard with a comb made from the bones of a young harp seal.

Aizen was apparently surprised that "no one caught on to the hoax earlier," citing that "there was no way that anyone could take it seriously, since the fight was nearly a word-for-word plagiarism of the pilot episode for Dexter."

"At any rate," says Aizen, "I wouldn't know how a fight between those to would end up. Steve has a personal arsenal that could wipe out the Cuban military, whereas Ingemar has his INT and CHR stats so high that he can bluff his way out of a Neo-Nazi rally whilst masquerading as a black Chasidic Jew."
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Postby minakichan » Sat Jan 10, 2009 5:43 am

*extremely late*

Wow. Cop-out!

decieve millions of young people into believeing that Tite Kubo is a competent mangaka.


Aaaaand now I have spit up my nose, thanks BUNCHES.
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Postby Ingemar » Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:32 am

You made a surprising comeback in the Christmas special.
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Postby Doubleshadow » Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:56 am

Ingemar (post: 1277941) wrote:
(A gigantic steamroller falls on them, killing them both instantly. FISHANDCHIPS is standing on top of it, looking maniacal)

F&C:
WRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Match called on account of weather.


Look out! It's raining steamrollers!

Ingemar (post: 1280851) wrote:[SIZE="7"]

[SIZE="5"][font="Georgia"]Stephen vs. Ingemar battle a hoax, says former Soul Society captain[/font][/SIZe]

Obviously. Who would believe Stephen would prevent gratuitous acts of violence?

"At any rate," says Aizen, "I wouldn't know how a fight between those to would end up. Steve has a personal arsenal that could wipe out the Cuban military, whereas Ingemar has his INT and CHR stats so high that he can bluff his way out of a Neo-Nazi rally whilst masquerading as a black Chasidic Jew."


I look forward to viewing video evidence of this claim, especially if he remembers to wear his rainbow inverted triangle pin.
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Postby mysngoeshere56 » Sat Jan 10, 2009 11:05 am

Wow..... this is.... wow. Hah. XD I'll have to actually read the battles once I have more time.
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Postby KumaruRockz » Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:59 pm

Wow. So has EVERYTHING been a hoax??? We'll never know...
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Postby Ingemar » Sat Jan 10, 2009 4:46 pm

KumaruRockz (post: 1280949) wrote:Wow. So has EVERYTHING been a hoax??? We'll never know...
Well gee, you're not REALLY trapped under a giant steamroller, are you?
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Postby KumaruRockz » Sat Jan 10, 2009 5:01 pm

Hmmmm...I guess not.
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Postby RidleyofZebes » Sat Jan 10, 2009 5:55 pm

XD wow... I just spent the last hour re-reading this thread. It reeks of awesomeness! 8D

Shame I missed the Christmas special last month. I never even realized this thing was revivifyed! O.o
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Postby Ingemar » Wed Jan 14, 2009 5:55 pm

Free-For-Alls is on hiatus until I can conjure a match of Homeric proportions.
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Postby Stephen » Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:49 pm

If it was not Ingemar....then who is on those black bags I had to take "fishing" Hmm. Oh well. I gotta remember to stock up on duct tape and plastic wrap.
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