Postby Paxdroca » Thu Jan 15, 2009 8:12 am
Well, I'm reviewing Fable now.
Here's goes:
So I return from my summer vacation, clutching a new DS in one hand and a bottle of Mug Root Beer in the other, to find that house of schoolwork that had felt so comfortably far away right on its foundation where I last saw it. And reality came crashing down like a LEGO brick house falling to the ground. So, freak it! Back to the realm of stupid reviews of pointless games and crappy movies and books. Fortunately, Fable was a good first run.
Fable is by Lionhead Studios, home of long-time game designer, Peter Moulineux, who has a horrible tendency to promise the Earth and be ultimately crippled by his own ambition. (See the big, fat monkey fest, Black and White.) During the development of Fable, for instance, it was promised to have rival NPC characters; plants growing in real time; and where every little choice you made had an effect on you and the environment around you. All we got was a bulkly action RPG with a great big ego for itself.
The story got off to a flying start when I realized I could actually skip the annoying cinematics. So I skipped what I didn’t like and pretty much started on my first quest.
It seemed straightforward enough, do enough good deeds to earn enough gold from my father to get a present for my older sister. So I immediately did every single one and earned enough gold to buy my sister a present and still had some left over. Then, I brought my sister the present and started to go back home. But then, of course, all heck broke loose.
An army of bandits came through town and slaughtered everyone. They killed my father and kidnapped my mother and sister, but they were apparently looking for me. I found the dead body of my father and was rescued by a guy named Maze.
He took me to the Heroes’ Guild and I spent some of the game there, learning the basics of the game. I finally graduated and started off on my second quest, Defeat the Wasp Queen.
I chose to be good because I found out from different forums that while being evil pays more, being good gives you reductions of prices on certain items. So I gave myself the Hero Title Liberator and killed the Wasp Queen.
I earned my first amount of gold and renown and went back to the Guild for more quests.
I met Maze in Bowerstone South and learned that my sister was still alive. So I did a bunch more quests, earned more renown and gold and XP and leveled myself up to face the biggest task I had so far: The Arena.
Alright, let’s get one thing straight, designers: The Arena was easy! I bought out all the health and will potions and all the resurrection phials and went out and slaughtered the Arena Challenge. I also wanted to keep my money, so I killed my partner, Whisper. That was the first evil deed that I had done intentionally, not counting any accidental evil deeds, and earned well over 100000 gold.
So I did a whole bunch more quests and finally faced the toughest challenge in the game: Jack of Blades. He had the most powerful sword in Albion: The Sword of Aeons. But I used a couple spells on him with some powerful weapons and killed him the first time I faced him.
So, my sister tells me that I could either kill her and gain the Sword of Aeons, or throw it into the vortex. Since the Sword was the most powerful weapon in the game, I yelled at the screen, “My deepest apologies, sis!â€
"If you can't fit it, edIT!" Proud member of MOES!
"Fear is the mind killer.
"Fear is like little death that brings total obliteration.
"I will face my fear.
"I will permit it to pass over and through me.
"I WILL NOT FEAR."
- Kaishi, Way of the Shinobi
"But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
- Jesus.
Jesus loves RPers, and so should you.