Corrupted wish game

[QtheQreater]

Granted, in theory. But theory doesn't always apply in real life, now does it?

I wish that pineapples would replace candy canes as popular holiday decorations.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. Unfortunately, as we're all, in a very practical way, still dead, nobody is around to decorate.

I wish that zombie chickens would occupy Memphis, TN.

[QtheQreater]

Granted. Everyone in Memphis is now quite occupied and fascinated with the concept of zombie chickens. It becomes the new fad. Zombie chicken backpacks, zombie chicken trading cards, zombie chicken Vandergraph Generators...

I wish for fish within a dish that's quite de-lish...

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but it's made of Ingemar.

I wish for moogles.

[QtheQreater]

Granted. Here's a used handkerchief with a picture of a moogle on it. They see this sort of thing as an authoritative substitute for their physical presence...enjoy!

I wish Temmy would eat the Ingemar-fish-dish while yodeling "Beasts of England" to the tune of "The Black Pearl" from Pirates of the Caribbean.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted. Alas, this unlikely sequence of events is the exact ritual required to awaken Cthulhu from his tomb to revive his subjects and resume his rule of the Earth.

I wish Schweppes Ginger Ale was a highly effective alternate fuel source.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, it is highly effective in fueling the star-spawn of Cthulhu in their enslavement of humanity.

I wish that humanity wasn't enslaved by Cthulhu and his star-spawn.

[Peanut]

Granted, now they are enslaved by the man and his suited agents.

I wish I was a suited agent.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but you're not the man's suited agent, you're a suited agent of wal-mart. Have fun, wal-mart greeter.

I wish that birds could shoot laser beams from their eyes.

[mitsuki lover]

Granted but for some strange reason they only do so whenever they hear the word:Kaligraphic..ah..you'd better be careful there!

I wish that my life was like Tenchi's!Well the part about Ayeka and Ryoko.

[minakichan]

Granted, but after all of the nosebleeds, jealous catfights, slaps, and getting boobs shoved in your face, you are also now dead.

I WISH POKEMON WERE REAL AND I WAS THE GREATEST POKEMON MASTER IN THE WORLD.

[Kaligraphic]

(My name is a killing word! Sweet!)

Granted, but you're also the only pokemon master in the world. Pokemon, in the real world, are simple pests, and all your status as pokemon master means is that it's your house they poop all over.

I wish that there were dwarvish cowboys, who would ride pigs instead of horses.

[mitsuki lover]

Granted but the pigs form a union and go on strike protesting the usage of stirrups by overenthusastic dwarf cowboys.

I wish that Qoun was the new CEO of Time/Life,Inc.!

[Peanut]

Granted but because of a nasty money scandal, Quon ends up in jail by the end of the year.

I wish I had an army of angry Mongols riding Yaks willing to do my every bidding.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but giving over control of your eBay account to angry yak-riding Mongols isn't the smartest thing in the world to do. Just sayin'.

I wish that cheese could vote.

[Peanut]

Granted, but since many cheeses are foreign this wish changes our citizenship laws and soon people who live in other countries can vote in our elections. I hear this is quite popular with the North Koreans and the Chinese...

I wish I were Asian.

[QtheQreater]

Granted, you are now a delectable Asian side dish. I'd avoid the mall food courts from now on if I were you.

I wish my guitar would play amazing riffs on its own so I could just fake it...

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted. It now plays amazing riffs every hour of every day at ear splitting decibles. You you weren't too attached to sleeping.

I wish Battlestar Galactica and Lost would hurry up and start showing new episodes.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but they turn into stupid crap reality-tv-format shows to make up for it.

I wish that Blitzkrieg1701 hadn't destroyed Battlestar Galactica and Lost with his wish.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted. Now Peanut somehow destroyed them by wishing to be Asian. DON'T QUESTION IT.

I wish my headphones could pick up the sounds of a pencil's innermost thoughts.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. Unfortunately, the innermost thoughts of pencils appear to be... nothing, with the occasional rare blood-curdling scream at ear-shattering volume that startles you half to death every time you hear it.

I wish that Ingemar and Peanut were cousins.

[animewarrior]

*Granted, except they were made cousins-in-law by a marriage of Ingemar's mother's cousin's cousin to Peanut's dad's mother's aunt's cousin .... somewhere in their they connected... but then, unfortunately the married couple divorced in 2 months (celebrities they were)

*I wish to travel to Midgar in the time era that Final Fantasy: Advent Children takes place and meet Kadaj and join him on his quest to find "Mother". oh yeah and tell him about Jesus!!!

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, you have a Final Fantasy: Advent Children console game. Unfortunately, it's just storyboards, and turns out to be a broken Sudoku game with random solutions and FF:AC art.

I wish that my bologna had a first name.

[animewarrior]

Granted. It shall be called Fred... unfortunately a stray cat some how dashed by you and ate Fred... You cried for days....

I wish to have eternal youth.

[Peanut]

Granted, you are now eternally an embryo.

I wish I could lift objects with my mind

[animewarrior]

Granted. You can now can lift objects with your mind that are under 1 gram in weight.

[animewarrior]

whoops.. forgot to wish... hmmm i wish for an Ipod Nano circa '07.

[Peanut]

Granted, but it's because they decided to give you the death penalty.

I wish everyone a merry christmas, and a happy new year too..

[rocklobster]

Granted, but a few people are angry because they don't celebrate Christmas.
I wish the Golden Compass movie was never made.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted. Now it's called "Where Is Your God Now?" and is a wildly popular meme as well as a successful book and movie.

I wish I owned a ranch on Mars