Corrupted wish game

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. It existed for about a month back in the day, in 1958, and was a bigger flop than the Edsel. It was banned for its tendency to transform humans into unicorns.

I wish that anime wasn't evil.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted. Anime isn't evil. Television screens, computers, movie screens, and everything else anime could conceivably be watched on is, though.

I wish Slim Jims were considered a delicacy.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. But they're an evil delicacy.

I wish that there was a type of moth that ate glass.

[mitsuki lover]

Granted but it only eats glass in months that have an r in them.

I wish that they would simply vanish people like Paris Hilton to the Twilight Zone
so we would never hear of them again!

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, everyone in the world is banished to the Twilight Zone, and you don't hear from them again because you are now deaf.

I wish that goats could be trained to cook waffles.

[Tsuki]

granted, but now the waffles train you to cook goats.

I wish I could speak Japanese fluently.

[rocklobster]

Granted, but only English VA's understand you.
I wish I could go to Hogwarts.

[KhakiBlueSocks]

Granted...but the tuition cleans out your bank account.

I wish Mitsuki Lover and Kagome were married!

[mitsuki lover]

And no way am I gonna corrupt that one!

I wish that there was a law against eating asparagus while driving.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, it's a capital crime everywhere, and Kagome tried it. The law you wished for has now made you single again.

I wish that it was legal to eat asparagus while driving.

[Taliesin]

Granted, Now you MUST eat asparagus while driving.

I wish I was a telepath.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, you can communicate mentally with asparagus. Unfortunately, you now have a strange desire to be eaten while driving.

I wish that cows could speak French.

[Taliesin]

Granted, all the cows now insult you in french.

I wish for 27$

[mitsuki lover]

Granted it but A)it's all in Canadian money and B)you can only spend it in Calgary between May and June 2090!

I wish that they redid The Wonder Years as a Western.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but "they" are brain eating monsters from Venus who can travel through TV sets and only created the show as a trap to DEVOUR OUR BRAINS!!!

I wish my cat had superpowers and used them to fight off the evil braineaters from Venus.

[Taliesin]

Granted, then you find out that YOUR an evil braineater from venus

I wish that I had a million perfectly normal pickles in a stack exactly seven feet in front of me.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, exactly seven feet in front of you stands a stack of a million perfectly normal pickled evil brain eaters from Venus.

I wish that the Edible Empires would destroy all superpower-wielding cats.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but only because most of the once superpower-wielding cats have abandoned said superpowers in favor of piloting massive, planet destroying mechas.

I wish I had a massive, planet destroying mecha too.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but you are destroyed by the Edible Empires in their hunt for formerly-superpowered cats.

I wish that more people would recognize the awesomeness that is chocolate milk.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but now chocolate milk has gotten all big headed and isn't anywhere near as nice as it used to be.

I wish the newspaper had coupons for anime.

[mitsuki lover]

Granted but unfortunately to redeem the coupons you have to be in Seattle sitting in
Row 1 section A of Safeco Field on Raul Ibanez Appreciation Day!

I wish that Ernie Banks were elected Supreme Diety of the City of Chicago,either that or Emperor of Illinois!

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, Ernie Banks is elected Emperor of Illinois according to a straw poll run by a tabloid paper in Kentucky with a readership of 50. Nobody else has a clue about it, and 49 of the 50 people who buy the paper use it to line birdcages. You're the 50th, the only voter in the poll. Also, it costs you $200 to get it delivered.

I wish that cats had prehensile whiskers.

[mitsuki lover]

Granted but the number of thefts of catnip nation wide have gone up!

I wish that they would subtitle all political speeches and debates so we would know what the heck they're really thinking.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted, but all we find out is that politicians really do think as infrequently as we suspect they do. Well, that and that President Bush gets up to speak thinking "I hope they don't steal my watch."

I wish that Peanut's ninja monkies really existed.

[mitsuki lover]

Granted but they are currently on strike for more money.

I wish that Mith would go up against Dee Dee in a winner take all brawl.

[Peanut]

Granted but Dee Dee damages the CAA server during the battle causing it to explode with the force of six atomic bombs.

I wish that someone would develop all of the weapons from the crazy weapons thread.

[Tsuki]

Granted, but only in video games.
I wish I just had to add water to make money grow.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. You add water and your money grows some sort of mold.

I wish that peanut butter came in multiple flavors.

[Peanut]

Granted, but those multiple flavors are peanut and peanut butter.

I wish for nukes...and lots of them...

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. Nuclear launch detected. Now, any time you play Starcraft, nukes come out of nowhere and blow up your forces and structures.

I wish for cookies...and lots of them...