Creed4's Praise pomes

[creed4]

I thought it would be better to sepeate my peoms into themes.

I wrote this pome yesterday before class, I think that it ends a little aburtly but I'm going for a patern of three stanzas. I would aprciate any advice you can give me thanks.

Surrounding Love

Surrounding Love
Keep me Forever
Holy One
I bow down to You.
Lost in a Love
I can't fathom.
Surrendered to the one true King
My life is more then it could be.

Searching Love
You sought till you found me.
King Most High
I surrendered to you.
Held in the hands
That won't let go
I trust Him to
Bring me home.

Saving Love
Redeemed From my past.
Awesome Lord
I shout out in Praise
Capture by amazing Love
I rejoice in my King Forever.
He is my Life
The one who will fulfill
What He's promised.

[teen4truth]

That's good, I can see it being the lyrics to a song hehe

In the last part, you used Love twice, which seems a little repetative, so I guess you might want to change the 'capture by amazing love' line. But that is really all I can point out. Good job!

[Anna Mae]

Surrounding Love

Surrounding Love
Keep me Forever
Holy One
I bow down to You. This sentence does not quite flow together from line to line.
Lost in a Love
I can't fathom. To eliminate a fragment, I would join this sentence with the previous one, separating them with a comma.
Surrendered to the one true King
My life is more then it could be. 'Then' should be 'than.'

Searching Love I like the alliterative, different aspects of love that you pursue.
You sought till you found me.
King Most High
I surrendered to you.
Held in the hands
That won't let go
I trust Him to
Bring me home.

Saving Love
Redeemed From my past.
Awesome Lord
I shout out in Praise
Capture by amazing Love Do you mean "Captured?"
I rejoice in my King Forever.
He is my Life
The one who will fulfill
What He's promised.

Your ending did not feel too abrupt to me.

[creed4]

Here is another, Please Comment.

Simply

Simply,
I want to give my words.
Humbly,
I come to bow.
Softly,
And sing my sing of praise
And pour out my heart before you.

For I am unworthy
To come before you
But by your blood
I can come to You.
How awesome a Lord!
How great a King!
You who are Justice!
You who are Mercy!
Paid the price.
I fall awestruck before you.

Lovely,
The face of He who died and rose.
Worthy,
The King of eternity
Who Is more awesome!
The the Lord of Hosts
I fall on my knees and cry.

For I am unworthy...

Glorious,
The Reigning King.
Holy,
What offering can I bring.
You set in Heaven
But Look Down.
You deliver and redeem
The souls of men.
I fall in awe
Of my Glorious King
Surrendered, completely and Humbly,
No one on Earth
Deserves more,
Honor.

[Anna Mae]

(Can you guess who has been unable to get onto CAA in about two months? <.< >.>)

Simply

Simply,
I want to give my words.
Humbly,
I come to bow.
Softly,
And sing my song of praise That "softly" bit took me off guard, but I like it.
And pour out my heart before you. I also like how you ease out of your pattern at the end of the stanza.

For I am unworthy
To come before you
But by your blood
I can come to You. This line feels a bit redundant. If you particularly like the wording that you have there, though, I would suggest italicizing the "can" in order to make it more fluid.
How awesome a Lord!
How great a King!
You who are Justice!
You who are Mercy!
Paid the price.
I fall awestruck before you.

Lovely,
The face of He who died and rose.
Worthy,
The King of eternity
Who Is more awesome! I'm not sure why you have "Is" capitalized.
The the Lord of Hosts Do you mean "Than the Lord of Hosts?"
I fall on my knees and cry.

For I am unworthy... I like that you revisit this theme. It makes me relate to the poem more.

Glorious,
The Reigning King. I really like this way of phrasing that you use here. It really makes the poem seem so much more "psalmish." Very, very good. That is a major strength of this poem.
Holy,
What offering can I bring.
You set in Heaven Sit?
But Look Down.
You deliver and redeem
The souls of men.
I fall in awe
Of my Glorious King
Surrendered, completely and Humbly, Why is Humbly capitalized?
No one on Earth
Deserves more, Unless you are using "Honor" as an address to God (his name), I think that it would make more sense to omit this comma.
Honor.

[creed4]

I Can't Help But Sing

When You spoke
The heavens came
Out of nothing
With Your word
You spoke and
Made all things.

I can't help but sing.
For You created everything.
Beyond my mortal
Mind, You are throned
Most glorious
I humbly bow
To You Lord.

You are the Word
The Light and Life,
We did not understand You.
You came down
Became one of us.

I can't help but sing...

You walked Calvary
While we were
Sinners, You died
You rose again
And give life to those
Who seek You.

I can't help but sing.

[Anna Mae]

I can really relate to the feeling expressed in this song. As I go about my daily chores, if I am not singing aloud, my heart is singing away at the top of its lungs. I especially liked the second stanza.

[creed4]

I know it's been a little while, but his is a new praise poem

I Will Glorify

I will glorify
(Worship and Adore Him)
He who reigns on high.
(The Lord God of Hosts)
Holy is He
(I cry Holy, Holy, Holy)
Oh this Awesome King.
(He is the King of Glory)

Saving me He died.
(Rising He game me life)
I will always Lift high
(He who saves and delivers)
Serve Him today
(He is the King of Glory)

Come to Him today
(He will restore you)
He's calling you
(He is the seeker)
Know Him as Lord
(He is the King of Glory)

I praise this King
(Who did not seek only me)
But all of Adam's race.
(Yet He would have died)
If I was all He saved.
(For His love is so great.)
You can trust Him
(He is the King of Glory)

I will glorify
He who reigns on high
Holy is He
Oh this awesome King.

[Anna Mae]

I Will Glorify

I will glorify
(Worship and Adore Him)
He who reigns on high.
(The Lord God of Hosts)
Holy is He
(I cry Holy, Holy, Holy)
Oh this Awesome King.
(He is the King of Glory) [I'm totally digging the echoes! Very cool.]

Saving me He died.
(Rising He gave me life)
I will always Lift high
(He who saves and delivers)
Serve Him today
(He is the King of Glory)

Come to Him today
(He will restore you)
He's calling you
(He is the seeker) [Good use of terminology]
Know Him as Lord
(He is the King of Glory)

I praise this King
(Who did not seek only me)
But all of Adam's race. [At this point the echoes feel a bit odd because until now the main lines had mostly formed cohesive thoughts on their own. That probably isn't a problem, however.]
(Yet He would have died)
If I was all He saved.
(For His love is so great.)
You can trust Him
(He is the King of Glory)

I will glorify
He who reigns on high.
Holy is He,
Oh this awesome King.

[Lovely! I really do like it a lot. It flows like a song. I can easily hear it as either a duet or a lead singer with background singers. This may be one of my favorites of the poems you have written.]

[creed4]

Just started this poem. Maybe will come back to it.

Glorified one
Awesome Lord
What can I say
Except I Love you.

Saving Heart
Deliverer
Redeeming King
Save for You
I'd be lost

Glorified one
Your saving grace
Consumes me
As you are the consuming fire.
So now if I boast
I boast in you
Glorified one.

[Anna Mae]

Nice poem--your ideas are good. All of my comments below are grammar/punctuation (you know me), so if you want to leave it as is (poetic license and all) you go right ahead. Oh, and the line numbers of the stanzas were noted with approval.

Glorified O[b]ne,[/b]
Awesome Lord,
What can I say
Except, "I Love you." [Or you could do: Except that I love you.]

Saving Heart, [I like this name.]
Deliverer,
Redeeming King,
Save for You
I'd be lost.

Glorified One,
Your saving grace
Consumes me,
As you are the consuming fire.
So now if I boast
I boast in you,
Glorified One.