Yes, it's me that guy with a million problems, fears, and questions come to strike again! This time my questions may be bordering on theological debate which I know isn't approved of here. However, not being entirely clear of what a theological debate is, can any moderators or administrators who read this tell me what a theological debate is and if this thread oversteps the boundaries? Thanks! Now for the questions/problems/fears:
1. I do not know why, but I have this fear that I am actually a demon, or a devil, or satan or the anti-christ or a demon's, satan's, or the anti-christ's or the devil's child. Sometimes I even have this scary thought that horns will sprout from my head and I will grow an arrow-tipped tail. It's really bugging me. I know it's weird, I don't know why and it scares me.
2. I have this fear that I am not really saved, and that I am actually impossible to save (I don't know why; sometimes it ties in with the first one)
3. I have this fear that I am not really saved and that I am deluding myself that I am saved. This is not to say that I doubt Jesus' sacrifice and offer of salvation to us, but that I doubt that I really accepted Jesus and am truly saved. You see, I can't remember accepting Jesus into my life, but I'm sure I did. I remember the event, but not the details inside. All I know was my mom introduced Jesus to me at a young age in the car when we were on our way home, asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus (I think that was the question leastways), and I said yes, and she said something to the effect of let's pray, and we both bowed our heads. I don't remember anything else about that event...
4. This is a question on how God is... My mom and I had an argument about God's nature. She said that God forgives only if we truly repent and ask forgiveness and that when we do so, we should stop comitting the sin in question. Sure there will be times when we fall, but those should be minimum, and the sin should be pretty much gone. Until this repentence comes, we are not forgiven. Also, despite forgiveness, God will punish us for our sins. My view is that God forgives every time we ask for His forgiveness, but He is disappointed if we don't truly repent and change for the better.. However, He still forgives us. When we do truly repent and change, He will be very happy, like the father of the prodigal son. I also believe that we will suffer any physical consequences of our actions, but that God will not punish us until we get to heaven... actually, I am not clear on God and punishment. Please help me out guys. I do pray and read the Bible to try and find the answer. CAA has delivered eye-openers to me so many times and been a tool for God to speak to me so many times, that I'm really getting reliant on it (I hope this is not a bad thing). So please help me out, because I wantt to see God clearly, and make sure I do not have the wrong conception of God, and in so doing possibly go on a wrong path...
4. I am scared that somehow myself and my faith in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, will be snatched away by Satan, or something or someone else.
5. I am afraid that I will be fooled into accepting a demon into me, or becoming a tool of satan or something satanic or evil, or anti-Christ, or anti-Christian
6. I fear that I do not really love God, and that I am deluding myself that I do
7. I fear that I fear the devil more than I fear God
8. I fear that I love other things and other people more than I love God without knowing it
These are my problems, fears and questions that really concern me. I have no idea if you can or how you guys can help me, but if God leads you to, please post something to help me out. God has spoken to me through CAA many many times, so I though I would just post this and see what people say. Maybe God will speak to me through you guys again. Thanks!
Wiggins