Lochabar Axe wrote:Particularly in KC, you have some fluidity problems. Such as in Chapter 4, Doug leaves the store and then Linda somehow pops up on to the next page. I guess one could call this "poofing" (as in the poof of smoke usually associated with disappearances and appearances in a magic act
And isn't this thread about the "HOME" manga? I've already commented on that.
Lochabar Axe wrote:I want to help, but it always turns into me sounding like a jerk.
initialdfreak wrote:This manga is awesome, its like its bya professional artist. Anyways, I love this manga! Megatokyo is still the best. ph33r m3
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
Mave wrote:I worry that I may have done a bad job with this chapter especially in making the characters realistic.
Mave wrote:I'm also aware of some potential grammatical errors. Either ways, pls feel free to let me know what you think. I'm open to hear any suggestions.
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