CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

The Process of Forgiveness

March 04, 2015



At some point, no doubt, you have been hurt. Probably, a person you loved and trusted did something unthinkable—something so devastating it changed your whole perspective on that individual. When this happens, we have a choice either to wallow in self-pity or to forgive.

Forgiveness is the act of giving up both the resentment we have toward someone and the desire to retaliate. It involves three important steps.

First, we must release the general feeling of resentment. That is, we must decide not to languish in our pain. This can be hard. Many people seem to enjoy harboring self-pity or an overarching sense of martyrdom. They sigh, “Oh, it’s just my lot in life to suffer.” No, it is not! You can choose to move past the hurt.

Second, we must surrender specific feelings of resentment toward the individual. That means we’re to give up our anger at being hurt and also seek to restore the broken relationship.

Third, we lay down all claims to retribution. You cannot forgive someone with your words while secretly wishing him or her harm. True forgiveness seeks the other person’s good, not punishment.

Forgiveness says, “Though you hurt me, I choose to pardon you. I won’t dwell on this, nor will I allow it to destroy my life or attitude. I won’t spend one minute plotting revenge. You are God’s precious child, and I love you.”

Truly, forgiving another person carries a price, but the rewards are worth it. Unleash the power of forgiveness in your life today.

(Credit Goes Too http://www.intouch.org/en/read/magazine ... rgiveness(

This was a really good post and from my experience (as limited as it might be) very true. I just wanted to say that and give this my thumbs up.

Ah, wow. This is good, and so true. Thanks for sharing.

There is a really awesome book somebody recommended me similar to the issue on forgiveness. If anyone has ever been offended by people in or out of church and have a hard time to let go of things from the past, John Bevere wrote this book called The Bait of Satan. It'll change your life.

I think the sentiment expressed in the OP is nice and works well for most instances but that whoever wrote it is very naive about how certain things affect people.

The book "Getting Past What You'll Never Get Over" by John Westfall --I highly recommend it. It really helped me a lot.

While I agree that we should seek to forgive even the unforgivable as Christ has forgiven the unforgivable in his flock, it sometimes equates to carrying a burden of resentment not easily dispelled which garners most of it's value in being forgiven in word and commitment. That is, not taking any organized vengeance or such, but asking for example in the case in courts where mothers forgive those who have murdered their children and explaining piety is forgetting/overlooking such is absurd. There may still be unsurpassed hatred and hurt which will not through ones lifetime be extinguished, but it is unrealistic to expect them to ever share a casual coffee in the aftermath of such a scenario. Certain hurt cannot simply be wished away and it sometimes translates to ill intentions even subconsciously, but a realistic forgiveness in the most dire situation is surrendering any conscious attempts of revenge and carrying the burden of hurt left on oneself to a high standard. If full remission of negativity can be achieved, fantastic, if such is impossible, then it is how one carries that which determines if the forgiving was sincere or not.

A good guideline for a Christian is in prayer declaring to God that the offender is forgiven, and ask his aid in dealing with the aftermath, it is also a good thing to daily ask for forgiveness of self for we understand not the gravity of our sins be them casual or in intent. True spiritual danger arrives when one finds that when one is entirely unable to even process the thought of such and such is lasting, but not all forgiveness is carried through in happy reconciliation, sometimes it is in quiet, bitter moments, and sometimes with only God listening, but such is sufficient.