***Code D.Floss***

[Peanut]

(OOC: Boy I'm on a roll tonight...yes this is the second fight I've done today...enjoy!)

Battle 1

NMA1: It’s time folks! Time for the first match of the tournament!

NMA2: Today Ryuken faces off against Komai, who is fresh off of her defeat of Artimidorus.

NMA1: Well, I don’t know about you, but I am convinced that Ryuken is going to dominate this fight from start to finish with his muscles, and his punching, and by pressing all of Komai’s pressure points!

NMA2: Thank you for that…bold prediction. Ryuken is the favorite but he must be careful not to become to prideful…last tournaments favorite lost in his first match against a vastly inferior opponent.

NMA1: Yeah, but that was Lord Kalvin…this is Ryuken…he’s awesome…like better then Zarn awesome…

*Ninja Monkey Announcer 2 shakes his head. Meanwhile the virtual arena fires up revealing, QtheQreater’s living room. Complete with QtheQreater and several of her Moogle minions. Q sits in a chair, reading a book, when suddenly angels sang out in an immaculate chorus! And down from the heaves descended Chuck Norris…no wait that’s Ryuken.*

NMA2: And it appears Ryuken has hired the same entrance choreographer that Zarn used in the last tournament.

NMA1: Now that’s just awesome…

NMA2: I hate to say this…but I have to agree with you…that is awesome…

*Q didn’t think it was awesome*

Q: Who are you and what are you doing in my living room?

*Before Ryuken can answer Q’s Question…Komai busts through the front door with a bull dozer.*

Q:Ok…that deserves a lawsuit…

Komai: Mind your own beeswax capitalist Moogle face! I have a steroid popping Chuck Norris wannabe to stab! *Komai pulls out a knife. But all Ryuken responds with is laughter.*

Ryuken: Insults are for the weak! I will crush you Komai, like how I will crush this melon! *Ryuken punches a conveniently placed Melon, shattering it into a million, sticky, goey pieces. The Moogles swarm it.*

Moogle#29340723: And here I thought we’d never get fed! Thank you Chuck Norris!

Ryuken: The name is Ryuken, and it will be the last name you ever hear!

*The Moogles suddenly die…Q is not amused…*

Q: Ok…breaking into my house is one thing, but feeding my Moogles poisoned melons is another thing! That’s just wrong, immoral, and will get you in huge trouble with the Moogle protection agency! They’re an endangered species you know!*Ryuken laughs again*

Ryuken: Poison is for the weak. I killed your Moogles with my bare hands. And I also just killed your precious Moogle protection agency! All within the span of 1 millisecond.

NMA1: And you think Ryuken won’t win the whole tournament.

NMA2: We’ll see.

Q: That’s…you…uh…

Komai: Don’t worry Q. I’ll avenge your furry friends for you!

Q: Wait…aren’t you and Temulin like…buddy buddy’s?

Komai: Yes.

Q: So shouldn’t you be happy to see me get tormented by a complete stranger?

Komai: Yes…but not if it involves the death of small fury animals. He’s just crossed the line and I will avenge every one of their lives!

*A referee appears*

A Referee: Ready…FIGHT!!!

*Ryuken laughs*

Ryuken: I win.

Komai: *Komai looks around* Really? When? How? You didn’t do anything?

Ryuken: The millisecond after A Referee said Fight, I pressed all of your power points…you are a dead girl Komai! *On que Komai falls over.*

NMA1: And that’s a record folks! One Millisecond! Wow!

NMA2: Wow…I don’t believe my eyes…he just…just wow…

NMA1: Told you Ryuken was amazing!

*A Referee falls over…dead…*

Ryuken: What?! I did not kill him?!

*Komai stands back up.*

NMA2: AND KOMAI STANDS UP! SHE ISN’T DEAD!

NMA1:…I…how…what?

Ryuken: I see…you watched Zarn vs. Peanut as well…you used A Referee as a replacement at the last minute and then feigned death. I am impressed.

Komai: Thank you!

Ryuken: But I was only using 1% of my true speed.

*A moogle suddenly grabs onto Ryuken’s ankle, in his hand was a grenade with it’s pin pulled out.*

Moogle with a grenade: With my dying breath…I WILL AVENGE MY BRETHEREN!!*The grenade goes off, surprising Ryuken and giving him a slight burn. But that wasn’t all it did, the burning pieces of metal and the shockwave from it’s explosion caused several pounds of explosives located right beneath Ryuken’s feet to explode, blasting him into a million pieces. When the dust cleared, all that was left was Q, Komai, and silence.*

Q: Let me guess…the night before you broke into my house and set up explosives under my floor. You then paid off the guys who lowered Ryuken into the arena to lower him on that spot. Before the fight began you pulled out your knife, and when Ryuken attacked my Moogles, you blocked one of his pressure point pushing attacks and gave the Moogle you proteceted a grenade. Knowing that the Moogle would use it to pull off a suicide attack, igniting the explosives and killing Ryuken.

Komai: Yep.

Q: You are the friend of Temulin…

Komai: Yep. *Komai pulls out a whip cream pie and slams it in Q’s face* AND DON’T FORGET THAT TEMULIN IS 8-GAGILLION TIMES MORE AWESOME THEN YOU!!! HA! *With that Komai disappeared, victorious. The Ninja Monkey Announcers were in so much shock from her victory, that they couldn’t come up with a decent way to conclude the match. So the broadcast just ended there…with Komai victorious.*

[Dante]

OOC: That was... just beautiful .

: Genki sips on a soda silent... no longer cheering for Komai... but absolutely sure prior to the match that Ryuken would completely dominate her in the battle... when he did not, he accidently fired soda up his nose and sprayed it a record distance... the brick on his golf club glowed and a portal opened up so that the soda could land on the disembodied head of Kaligraphic. :

Genki: *Cough cough* She wha-!? O_O

: From one of the nearby computer terminals the sound of wedding music plays by thanks of PASCAL... :

Genki: OH BE QUIET!

PASCAL: Oh but you two would make such a GREAT couple BWAH HA HA HA HA!!! Too bad you live forever Genki, till death do you part is a very very long time! MY EVILNESS ASTOUNDS EVEN ME! Oh don't hide your feelings Genki... you know that deep down in side, you think scaly is cute!

: Genki mumbles something under his breath but restrains himself from beating up the computer. :

[Kaligraphic]

*Meanwhile, the disembodied head of Lord Kalvin, apparently an ordained Catholic priest, was leading a congregation in a service of Holy Communion, when a mysterious portal opened up and a spray of soda shot through it, landing all over the severedly cerebral celebrant.*

Lord Kalvin: I guess the tournament must have started.

[Jingo Jaden]

Ahahah, now what was that? XD I did not even do anything.

[Dante]

??? Wonders what JM means by the last post... clarification?

[Kaligraphic]

JM, you don't control your character in the tournament - Peanut does, and to hilarious ends.

[Jingo Jaden]

XD I was just slightly unaware about the rules. Carry on then

[Dante]

Wait... Peanut controls the characters? I thought a coin with Chunk Norris' head engraved on the front controlled the tournaments... NEXT YOU'LL TELL ME THE CAKE IS A LIE!

[Peanut]

Battle 2

NMA2: Hello, and welcome again to another action packed battle from the second Of Nations and States tournament! Ninja Monkey Announcer 1 had an emotional break down and was unable to attend today’s broadcast.

*Elsewhere*

*Ninja Monkey Announcer 1 sits in a chair shoving large amounts of Ice Cream into his mouth while weeping loudly.*

NMA1: RYUKEN!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME!!!

*Back at the broadcast*

NMA2: Apparently the loss Ryuken suffered in the last match was too much for him to handle…that and the fact that Ryuken blew him off when he tried to get an autograph. So, you guys are stuck with me today! The next match should be a good one as the four seed Mirzen faces off with the five seed Genki.

*The virtual arena fires up to reveal…Lord Kalvin’s church?*

Lord Kalvin: Um…ok…

*Wedding music plays as Genki opens up the door carrying his golf club with the Brick at the end of it. Genki also is wearing a very nice white suit.*

Lord Kalvin: I wasn’t aware that I was doing a wedding today?

*Genki notices the suit and screams.*

*In some small laptop out there…*

PASCAL: Here comes the bride…all dressed in whited…BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I AM JUST AWFUL!!!

*Suddenly, Moley pounces on the Laptop and rips it to shreds…*

*Back at the arena.*

Lord Kalvin: Well…who are you getting married too kid?

Genki: Komai…I MEAN NO ONE!!!

*A figure stands and applauds…it’s Mirzen*

Mirzen: Oh I just love weddings, don’t you Lord Kalvin?

LK: Personally I’m more of a fan of funerals myself…but weddings are nice…I guess…

Genki: So there you are…alright let’s get this over with so I can go and annihilate Komai in the next round and win this thing…

Mirzen: The only thing you’ll be winning is a lifetime with Komai.

Genki: Apparently you haven’t been paying attention to the bet PASCAL made…I have to win to end up married to Komai.

Mirzen: We’ll see about that…

*Lord Kalvin is suddenly awarded temporary Referee status.*

LK: Wow…I feel all…official…guess I can add this to the list of jobs I’m doing to pay off that lawsuit at the end of last tournament…anyway…BEGIN!!!

*Genki disappears in a puff of smoke while Mirzen disappears thanks to pure speed. They clash in the middle of the aisle as rice falls from the heavens around them. Genki swings wildly with his “Brick Club” while Mirzen randomly pulls a sword from nowhere, charges it with electricity and fights back. Both warriors appear to be exceptionally skilled and neither one is able to land a clean blow on the others, but the blows that do land hurt.*

Genki: *hit in the lower abdomen, causing an electrical pulse to go through his body* WAHOO!!! Ow…

Mirzen: *hit over the head with the Brick Club* Doh! Ow…

*Meanwhile, Lord Kalvin watches with glee.*

LK: I haven’t had this much fun since I watched my Zombies tear that guy in Vegas to shreds!

*Mirzen suddenly backs off from the fighting and casts Bolt on Genki, shocking him and the Brick quite severely. It was at this point that the Brick had had enough…and jumped off of Genki’s Golf Club.*

The Brick: Attaching me to a Golf club when I am better suited as a projectile is one thing, but allowing him to shock me with electricity multiple times! That just ain’t cool!

Genki: You can talk…

The Brick: Talk…OF COURSE I CAN TALK!!! And by the way…I QUIT! *The Brick walks towards the door.*

Lord Kalvin: Hey, The Brick, are you still up for poker this Thursday?

The Brick: Yeah…I’ll be there…

*With that the Brick left…leaving Genki without a weapon…*

Genki: Um…ehehe…I ah…give…

Mirzen: Oh no…you loose on my terms Genki…*Mirzen pulls out a mysterious weapon that sort of looks like a Peacemaker satellite…but miniaturized…*

Genki: Um…what’s that…

Mirzen: The Matchmaker…think the Peacemaker but with marriage…oh and I’ve set the dial on “Unhappily everafter”…so yeah…have fun being married to Komai…

*Mirzen shoots Genki with the Matchmaker. And the next thing Genki knows…he’s getting married to Komai…*

Lord Kalvin: I now pronounce you man and wife.

PASCAL: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I WASN’T EVEN RIGHT AN I STILL CAUSED THEM TO GET MARRIED!!!!

Mirzen: No…I did…oh and he wanted to see you…*Mirzen drops Moley on top of PASCAL*

NMA2: Well…this certainly was unexpected…first time a fight has ever ended in a wedding.

*Komai drags Genki down the aisle.*

Genki: BUT I DON’T EVEN LIKE HER!!!

Komai: Do you think I care?

Genki: NOOO!!!!!!!!

*And so, Genki was married to Komai, much to the glee of Komai and horror of Genki…*

NMA2: Ahh…what a cute couple… Well folks! Tune in next time when Zann Ishtare faces off against Xaxtorm!

*But…not everything was done just yet…the Matchmaker was left in the arena and…a stranger picked it up.*

???: Hmmm…I wonder what I can use this for…

*The stranger smiles evily…and giant “TO BE CONTINUED” letters appear out of no where…*

???: Well…that’s something you don’t see everyday…

[USSRGirl]

....

PEANUT. YOU. ROCK.

*throws rice and awards Peanut 'Temuoplis World Hero First Class'*

*Commences squealing with commie fangirl glee*

*SQUEE* Kawaii~!~!~!~!~! Really, what does happiness have to do with marriage anyway?

[Peanut]

Battle 3

NMA2: Welcome folks to another action packed battle to the death. I’m Ninja Monkey Announcer 2 and today I am joined by a special guest, Token Ninja Monkey!

*Token Ninja Monkey says something in monkey which not even the Ninja Monkey announcer understands.*

NMA2: Uh…right…Ninja Monkey Announcer 1 won’t be joining us, again. So we brought in somebody new to fill his place. Today we will be watching Xaxtorm fight Zann Ishtare, no relation to Zarn Ishtare. However, there are rumors circulating around that Zann Ishtare is really Zarn Ishtare in disguise but there is no evidence for that. So let’s get this fight started!

*The virtual arena fires up and produces a familiar arena…a subway station. The train arrives in the station, opens it’s doors and out walks Zann Ishtare, who happens to look strangely like Zarn Ishtare… trench coat and all, accompanied by dancers and other people screaming praises to his name. The entire sequence ends with a strange bullet time sequence identical to the one Zarn used in his first battle…in fact the only thing that was different is that he was accompanied by a wolf in similar garments as him...except they were clearly made for wolves.*

NMA2: Um…perhaps those rumors weren’t false…

*A bright light appears blinding everyone in the area except Zann and his wolf thanks to their really cool sunglasses. The light fades to reveal Xaxtorm. Xaxtorm takes one look at Zann…and well…is confused.*

Xaxtorm: Wait a minute…wasn’t I supposed to be fighting Zann?

Zann: I am Zann…

*Xaxtorm rubs his eyes and looks at Zann again.*

Xaxtorm: But your hair…

Zann: I dyed it reddish-brown.

Xaxtorm: And…your shorter then I remember…

Zann: Yeah…caffeine kind of messed with my height

Xaxtorm: Right…and I’m guessing you worked out?

Zann: Yep.

Xaxtorm: I demand a DNA test to confirm your identity…

*A referee appears…however he was blinded by Xaxtorm and ends up doing the test on everybody but Zann. Frustrated by his failure, the referee disappears and declares that the battle has begun.*

Xaxtorm: I refuse to fight you.

Zann: Good then that makes my job easier.

*Zann summons a blade of pure energy, just like what Zarn did against Peanut, and attacks Xaxtorm who quickly moves out of the way.*

Xaxtorm: Stop it…you’re not Zann and I don’t want to hurt you…

*Zann attacks again.*

Zann: I think you should be a little more worried about yourself.

*Zann continues to pursue after Xaxtorm who responds by dodging his blows…however Xaxtorm doesn’t seem to be too comfortable with being on the defensive…*

NMA2: My and it appears that Zarn…er…I mean Zann has the upper hand right now!

*The Token Ninja Monkey says something in monkey which no one understands.*

NMA2:…you know we really need to get you a translator…

*Meanwhile, Zann continues his attack.*

Xaxtorm: Seriously whoever you are…*Xaxtorm dodges a strike* you aren’t Zann…*dodges another strike* so…*dodges yet another strike* please stop…*dodges another strike* before I grow tired of this and kill you.

Zann: Don’t make me laugh…*With that Zann does some crazy move with a blade that is only known to certain barbers in the greater Temuopolis area and shaves Xaxtorm’s head at the speed of light.*

Xaxtorm: You…you…you messed with my doo…*Xaxtorm is overcome with an uncontrollable rage* NOBODY MESSES WITH MY HAIR!!!

*Suddenly, Xaxtorm begins to explode with arcane energies of every type…all of which he fires at Zann…Zann…well he didn’t stand much of a chance so he got blown away…however certain energies in that blast healed him to his normal state. Sadly this caused him to drop his guard and Xaxtorm began to pummel him.*

NMA2: OH MAN! Xaxtorm is angry…and you won’t like him when he’s angry…

*Xaxtorm finishes pummeling Zann and notices that a train is coming. He smiles and lifts Zann over his head and walks towards the tracks. Then, dramatically, and in bullet time, he throws Zann’s beaten body onto the tracks.*

Xaxtorm: You shall rue the day you missed with by long, black locks of awesomeness! Locks which require me to spend several hours each morning conditioning, and shampooing, and combing…*Suddenly Xaxtorm was hit from behind by Zann’s wolf, causing him to fall onto the tracks with Zann. There both of them were run over by the subway train.*

NMA2: Oh and it appears as if this one has ended in a double knock out!

*The Token Ninja Monkey says something in monkey…again no one understands him.*

NMA2: Eh right…I guess we’ll have to go to the judg…

*Before the Ninja Monkey Announcer could finish his words, the train doors opened and out walked Zann, completely unharmed! He kneeled before his wolf and began to scratch it’s ears.*

Zann: Good job Rir.

NMA2: I DON’T BELIEVE IT! ZANN’S DONE IT! After getting blasted, pummeled and then thrown under a moving train, he’s managed to somehow win this battle! Incredible!

*The Token Ninja Monkey again speaks in the language no one understands. Perhaps he said something profound right then but honestly I couldn’t tell because I don’t speak monkey.*

NMA2:…I knew this was a bad idea…well folks, tune in next time when Raven fights Zohar. Until then good night, and stay classy…planet earth!

[Peanut]

Battle 4

NMA2: Welcome folks, I’m Ninja Monkey Announcer 2 joined today by…

NMA1: *rapping* Guess whose back! Back again! Ninja Monkey Announcer 1 is back! Tell a friend!

NMA2: Um…why are you rapping?

NMA1: It’s my theme song *continues rapping* Nanana nana nananana nanananana nanana!

NMA2:…ok…yes, Ninja Monkey Announcer 1 is back. Which is great really since Token Ninja Monkey wasn’t really…doing much…though he still joins us today.

*Token Ninja Monkey says something in monkey…again no one can understand him.*

NMA2:…right…anyway, today we have the final battle of the first round between Zohar Hiero and Raven.

NMA1: Zohar will be looking to follow Ryuken’s glorious example and throw the fight so a lower seed can feel better about themselves.

NMA2:…Ryuken didn’t throw that match…he lost it…he even said so in the press conference following it…

NMA1: Yep, threw the fight…cause there’s no way Komai could actually beat Ryuken…

NMA2: Anyway…let’s get to some bloodshed before Ninja Monkey Announcer 1’s denial drives me insane…

*The virtual arena powers up revealing a large circular platform floating in liquid malevolence…please don’t ask me how malevolence can become a liquid…in this case it just is… Zohar appears in a puff of smoke on the platform.*

NMA2: And, keeping with Peanut’s tried and true simple introduction sequence, Zohar has puff of smoked his way into the arena.

NMA1: So less spectacular then Ryuken…

*A raven flies into the arena, says “Nevermore,” and transforms into Raven. A referee appears on the platform.*

Referee: Ok guys…play nice…*the referee disappears*

Raven: Today you die Zohar…

Zohar: K.

Raven: No really…I’m going to kill you…

Zohar: That’s cool…

NMA2: Oh and Zohar is using Peanut’s “I really don’t care what you say it won’t phase me” strategy.

NMA1: An excellent strategy to use when you’re dealing with people who like to criticize you for random things…like being a Ryuken fan boy…

*Token Ninja Monkey says something…again…I don’t know what he said…nor do I care…*

Raven: Grrr…eat this! *Raven uses some sort of telekinesis technique to toss liquid malevolence at Zohar*

NMA1: That probably will leave a stain…

NMA2: You think?

*The liquid malevolence stops several inches in front of Zohar’s freshly pressed shirt.*

Raven: Since when have you been able to use telekinesis.

NMA2: Oh and somehow Zohar has managed to stop the liquid malevolence suggesting that he may have telekinetic powers.

NMA1: Nope…

NMA2: Let me guess…Ryuken is the only with telekinetic powers…

NMA1: Pshh…no, Ryuken doesn’t need telekinetic powers cause he’s awesome. And Zohar has never had them

NMA2: Then how did Zohar stop the liquid malevolence when it’s…well…malevolence…

NMA1: Well, the ingredients say that liquid malevolence contains 3 parts malevolence and 2 parts water.

NMA2: Hmm…who would have known?

*Zohar chuckles.*

Raven: What?

Zohar: It’s kind of sad really…the way this is going to end.

Raven: What do you mean?

*Zohar pulls all of the liquid malevolence above him into a gigantic ball.*

Raven: Oh…

Zohar: Any last words?

Raven: Um…Komai and Genki forever?

*With that Zohar tosses the liquid malevolence at Raven. Raven attempts to stop it with her telekinesis powers however that much malevolence can’t be stopped by anyone…Raven was wiped out in ways that are too graphic for me to tell you. What I can tell you is that liquid malevolence does stain clothes…and there nasty stains which you can never remove.*

NMA2: AND THAT DOES IT! ZOHAR HAS WON!!!

NMA1: No he hasn’t…Ryuken is the only winner…

NMA2: Right…

*The Token Ninja Monkey says some things which were probably a message that asked people “to tune in next time as round two begins and that today’s battle was brought to you by the word malevolence…say it with me now…malevolence…”however I can’t tell because you guessed it…I can’t speak monkey…*

[Peanut]

Battle 5

NMA1: Welcome to round two of the Second Annual Of Nations and States Tourney!

NMA2: I’m Ninja Monkey Announcer 2, and that was Ninja Monkey Announcer 1…Token Ninja Monkey will not be joining us today because he had a date with the fis…er Go Fish team…yeah…

*The Bottom of the Ocean*

*The Token Ninja Monkey stands at the bottom of the ocean in a pair of cement shoes…screaming…hope you can sprout gills little buddy…hehe…*

*Back in the arena*

*The two Ninja Monkey Announcers do an awesome handshake to commemorate there murde…I mean for no apparent reason whatsoever.*

NMA1: Today Komai, the person who Ryuken let win, will fight against Mirzen, who won his last battle by making Genki marry Komai.

NMA2: Will the underdog continue this amazing run? Or will she be smashed into oblivion? We’re about to find out as the next!

*The virtual arena fires up, unveiling one of the most horrifying virtual arenas ever created. One which is so terrifying…only a few could ever possibly fight in it…a stage! But not just any stage…the stage to Of Nations and States Idol!*

NMA2: What?

NMA1: The programmers decided we needed a variety of battle modes and decided to add in a music battle.

NMA2: Um…but our viewers want to see someone get killed…

NMA1: Yep…

*A table appears in front of the stage with three seats. Suddenly, a virtual Randy and Paula appear, followed by the most horrible and cruelest judges in the Of Nations and States Idol competition…none other then Temulin!*

Temulin: You both stink…get off the stage right now!

Paula: But, Temmy, no one is on the stage yet.

Temulin: I was just practicing grandma!

*Paula looks offended.*

Randy: Calm down Paula…we just have one more show and then we no longer have to deal with her.

Paula: Right…

*Mirzen struts out onto stage followed shortly by Komai.*

Randy: Ok…here’s how this is going to work. E—

Temulin: *cutting Randy off* I’m going to press shuffle in my iTunes library, and whatever song comes up you have to sing…

Randy: *kind of peaved*Thanks for cutting me off…

Temulin: Any time Randy-me-boy…any time…Mirzen will go first since he’s an awful singer and I want to laugh at someone.

*Mirzen steps forward, a microphone appears in his hand. He looks quite confident. Temulin pulls out a laptop, opens iTunes and clicks on the playlist titled “Five Iron/funny songs for Of Nations.â€

[Peanut]

*Mirzen bows to the applaud of no one.*

NMA2: That was…pretty good…

NMA1: Yeah…who knew Mirzen could sing?

*Attention turned to the judges*

Randy: That was awesome dog! Really moving, I love how you mixed in all of the different styles…just great.

Paula: *dreamily…almost as if she has been…swooned…*That was…amazing…*Mirzen shudders and wishes he wasn’t single…*

Temulin: I’m impressed…by how horrendous that was! My word I’ve heard rocks that can sing better then you…and there was no hip with your hop either…here’s my suggestion, give up singing and surrender now cause there is no way Komai is going to loose…

*The judges stare at Temulin as if she’s blind and shake their heads. Komai steps forward and takes the mike from Mirzen’s hand. Temulin hits shuffle in iTunes.*

Temulin: Komai, you will be singing Vultures, also by Five Iron Frenzy.

NMA1: I’m sensing a trend here…

NMA2: Yeah…wait you actually figured that out…wow…

NMA1: Yeah Temulin’s picked to songs related to communism in a row…

NMA2:…you never cease to amaze me…

*Komai pulls a Staples button. An omnipotent voice says “That was easy” and suddenly several hundred Komai’s, with mikes appear on stage along with a giant USSR flag.*

NMA1: See…told you it was a song about communism…

NMA2:…not exactly…

*The music starts…nice beat…*

Komais: *singing horrifically with a thick Russian accent*
Watching Mrs. Brady prime the brand new Kenmore washer
see the brilliant gleam of the automatic tooth flosser
Beautiful the china, what a lovely cup and saucer
Yeah I saw your Rolex, but I think it’s an impostor
Wave to the pretty ladies
With your brand new hairpiece, baby
Ahh, the smell of cash, it’s good to be alive
I’m going to spend some dough like it’s 1985

Rip the tags off mattresses
You’ll buy more anyway
Is the paint on that SUV
Some brand new type of gray?

Believe in anything
Vultures circling
Open, swallow
You’re so hollow

Yeah

My teeth are getting yellow from the mocha I just drank
I need to bleach them out, but my breath will still be rank
Did you you see the new computers, aren’t they oh so obsolete?
And that shade of black you wear, it’s so Tuesday of last week
You need a better life
Have you tried another wife?
I used to be an amateur but now I’m going pro
It once was Mile High but you sold it to Invesco

The empire grows
You can see it’s massive span
Beneath the golden arches
Somewhere in Japan

Believe in anything
Vultures circling
Open, swallow
you’re so hollow
Yeah

And the vultures circle
They’ve paved the way
They’ve bit and clawed their path
To top floors in L.A.
And beneath the brazen windows
You can hear the sound
They say the word on the street
Is “something’s going down”...

When the revolution comes
When the revolution comes
When the revolution comes
When the revolution comes

Believe in anything
Vultures circling
Open, swallow
You’re so hollow
Hollow, yeah

*Temulin stands and applauds…no one else does…the Komai’s disappear.*

Randy: Um…that was…bad…dog…I would suggest you get voice lessons…but I don’t even think those would help.

Paula:*frowning* Um…maybe singing isn’t a talent of yours…

Temulin: Bah, you have no clue what your talking about! That was brilliant. I laughed, I cried, I felt moved to dance. That was the greatest performance ever! Of course, I guess you wouldn’t be able to appreciate it Paula since the years have made you deaf!

Paula: THAT’S IT!!!*Paula jumps on Temulin and begins to strangle her. Randy stands up and tries to pull her off of Temulin.*

NMA2: OH MY AND A FIGHT HAS BROKEN OUT BETWEEN THE JUDGES! THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!!!

NMA1: We’re witnessing history folks!


*Temulin’s face is starting to go blue...she grabs around and finally finds it…her spork! She stabs Paula in the eye with it who immediately screams and lets go of Temulin’s kneck.*

NMA2: Oh and Temulin has stabbed Paula in the eye! This is both violent and exciting!

NMA1: I’m having way to much fun right now!

*Paula gathers herself together, picks up her foldable chair, and starts beating Temulin with it.*

NMA1: THROW A CHAIR! THROW A CHAIR!

NMA2: GO FOR THE KIDNEYS!!!

*And that’s exactly what Temulin did…pulling out another spork, she drove it into a kidney…however it was Randy’s not Paula. Paula smacks Temulin with the chair again. Temulin returns the favor by stabbing another spork into Paula’s other eye.*

NMA1: This fight is strangely satisfying!

NMA2: I know isn’t it great!

*Meanwhile Mirzen and Komai watch the violence before them.*

MIrzen: So…um…now what…

Komai: Well…I guess you won…I mean you had two of the judges on your side and I only had one…

Mirzen: All right…so I win…

Komai: Yeah…besides I have Genki now so I lost interest in this tournament…

*And so, the first battle of round two ended with Komai giving up and letting Mirzen move on to the next round…quite sporting if you ask me. As for Paula and Randy…well…Paula is now blind and in Assisted Living with a bunch of old folks. Randy is on dialysis since his other kidney was sporked out shortly after Komai and Mirzen settled their fight in a civil manner…Temulin is fine and is still a judge thanks to a very skilled lawyer…*

(OOC: If you are curious as to how the songs used in this battle sound, follow the following links (Note: Vultures is a live recording so the sound quality isn't that great...and "These are not my Pants" is an AMV...though I doubt any of you will care...oh and Pascal...I'm sorry you can't listen/watch any of these...):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BbHMNltAoU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc8GZmoHIBE

[Althaia]

peanut you have no idea how much i dislike you right now >_<

[Dante]

I'm am viewing them at school... end story! That... WAS THE GREATEST BATTLE ROYALE OF THE CENTURY!!! O_O... I have never laughed so hard since... since... MEET THE PARENTS!

[Peanut]

peanut you have no idea how much i dislike you right now >_<

...again I will mention that all of the fights here are meant to parody Of Nations and States (and in the last case...American Idol as well)...they aren't meant to be insults. If I was trying to insult any of you I probably wouldn't do it in this form, using your characters names, nor would I likely post it on CAA. But if I've done or said anything that's offended you tell me and I'll see if I can change something.

[Peanut]

Battle 6

NMA1: Good evening folks! Today is the day that Zohar will loose!

NMA2:…right…what he meant to say is that we have another great battle for you. Today Zohar will be fighting against Zann. Winner will face Mirzen who is fresh off of winning an intense musical battle between him and Komai.

NMA1: A battle which was overshadowed by Temulin slaughtering the other judges…ah the memories…

NMA2: Coincidentally, Aki had something to say about this battle and the entire tournament in yet another press conference…

*The screen switches to a room with a podium. Behind it is Lord Kalvin’s head and behind him is Aki.*

LK: The Aki would like to take this time to tell all of you that he is far superior to any of the remaining fighters. The Aki would also like to mention that he is still upset about being cut from this tournament and has not watched any of the fights…ok maybe he watched one…or two…or all of them. The point is the Aki is still upset and refuses to watch Zann and Zohar go at it despite the fact that he has ordered the match on paperview and will be watching it on his brand new HDTV…PARTY AT AKI’S HOUSE!!!*The entire room cheers and follows Lord Kalvin and Aki to an amazing party based around watching Zann fight Zohar.*

NMA2:…well…that’s…interesting…

NMA1: Why didn’t we get invited?

NMA2: Maybe it’s because the last party we were at ended in a rather large fight that stained Lord Kalvin’s carpet.

NMA1: Oh yeah …hehe…that was fun.

*With that the virtual arena fired up revealing a virtual city. Suddenly from every building, cab and car, dancers poored out singing praises to Zann’s name. Zann then strolled in casually with his wolf following behind him.*

NMA2: Well…that looks familiar…

*Zohar appears in a puff of smoke…apparently flashy entrances aren’t his style…*

Zohar:…Zarn Ishtare I presume?

Zann: No, I’m Zann, Zarn doesn’t have a physical wolf with him…nor is he awesome like me…

Zohar: Right…let’s just get this over with…

*The referee appears, pulls out a boom box, hits play and as the song “Wonderboy” begins to play, the battle starts. *

NMA2: Apparently we have background music this time…

NMA1: It doesn’t really fit…

NMA2: No…it does…you just don’t understand…

*Zann and Zohar clash in the middle of the city. Zann with a spear and Zohar with a blade of ice, both slash and parry with incredible skill.*

Zohar: Impressive…

Zann: Hehe…if you think this is Impressive…watch this…

*Zann randomly teleports to the top of a building. He summons some energy and creates a bow and arrow, which he aims at Zohar and fires with deadly precision. Upon contact, the energy arrow explodes and sends Zohar flying into a building.*

Zann: Well that was easy.

Zohar: Yep…

*Zann turns to find Zohar standing right behind him, smirking.*

Zann: You replaced yourself with the ref didn’t you…

Zohar: That trick never gets old…

Zann: Well…looks like I have no choice…*Zann extends his hand*

Zohar: Oh…mysterious powers perhaps?

Zann: Perhaps…*A small ball of energy appears in front of Zohar’s hand…it’s a rather odd piece of energy, filled with hopes and dreams. And a wish to play professional basketball for the Phoenix Suns…Zann quickly crushes those dreams and hopes by introducing it to it’s purpose in life…to blow stuff up. The ball of energy hits where Zohar was standing and explodes. Zann quickly forms some more and fires them at the same spot, over and over again until the dust was so thick no one could see…*

NMA2: Wow folks! Zann has just launched a major offensive! One which may have crushed Zohar’s dreams to win this tournament!

NMA1: Just like all those poor balls of energy…*sniff*

*As the dust cleared, both Zann and Zohar stood unscathed…except there was something unusual about Zohar…he had…wings of mist*

NMA1: OH AND ANOTHER TWIST! Zohar isn’t dead, but copying Ryuken by creating a random aura around himself…luckily it’s far less superior then Ryuekn’s…

NMA2: Those are wings…not an aura…

NMA1: Same thing…

NMA2:…no…

*Zann smirks*

Zann: Let me guess…those wings are a big deal because they allow you to fly…

Zohar: No…*Suddenly, a thousand Zohar’s become visible* They’re a big deal because they allow me to do this! *Zann attacks the nearest Zohar to find that it…well…it isn’t a Zohar…in return, the other 999 Zohar’s launch an incredible barrage of ice energy from every conceivable direction, all of them hit there mark. Then…Zohar became one, and gathered a tremendous amount of Ice energy. He fired it at the building, and watched as it wrapped the building in ice…this attack occurred at the exact moment that the background music hit the line “How about the power to kill a yak from two hundred yards away, WITH MIND BULLETS!!! That’s Telekinesis Kyle”*

NMA2: Oh and not only does Zohar launch a devastating attack! It’s an attack that fits perfectly with the music! See…I told you it fit…

NMA1: Who knew Zohar was a parallel to young nasty man…

*Meanwhile, in the buildingcicle (or at least I think that’s what you call it…). Zann sits and ponders his next move…*

Zann: Gosh…with powers like that…I don’t stand a chance against him…I mean…just wow…

*A random wolf of pure energy appears…which obviously means it’s Fenris…*

Fenris: You must trust in the heart of the cards…

Zann:…what?!

Fenris: Sorry…I’ve always wanted to say that…actually it’s the liver of the cards that gives them their power but that’s another issue…

Zann: So what are you, Some sort of ancient evil of the past that was tamed by my awesome trainer Zarn who has now decided to help me overcome a greater foe?

Fenris: No, I’m some sort of ancient evil of the past that was tamed by your awesome trainer Zarn who has now decided to help you overcome a greater foe.

Zann: That’s what I said…

Fenris: I’m sorry what did you say? I’m terrible sorry…I don’t speak Spanish…could you maybe repeat that in English…

Zann: Ah forget it…your no help…*Zann summons a blade of energy; he then uses the rest of his energy to propel himself from his icy prison. He climbs the building with great speed, busting through each story…until…finally he makes it out…and there, in the air, floats Zohar!*

Zann: I’ve got you now! *Suddenly, Zohar falls from the skies dead…*…what?!

NMA1: Oh and it appears Zohar stayed in that form for too long leading to his unfortunate demise! Told you Zohar would lose…*The other Ninja Monkey announcer grumbles a bit to himself.* Zann wins!

Zann: Wait…no…no we were supposed to have an epic two part battle!

NMA2: Zann will move on to face Mirzen in the finals…wow…I’m soooo excited…

Zann: No, I refuse to fight Mirzen until I have an epic battle like Zarn had with Peanut!

Referee: Too bad…you’re the winner therefore you have to fight him…guess you aren’t like Zarn at all…psh…wannabe…

*Zann screams in anger and anguish…*

Zann: I’VE BEEN ROBBED!!!

Fenris: Well done my son…you have avenged me!

Zann: What? Zohar didn’t kill you!

Fenris: No, but Lotan did own me at disembodied spirit poker night…

Zann:…ok…

Fenris: And remember Zan…this is CNN…CNN…C…N…N…

[Dante]

small ball of energy appears in front of Zohar’s hand…it’s a rather odd piece of energy, filled with hopes and dreams. And a wish to play professional basketball for the Phoenix Suns

O_o I didn't know the Phoenix Suns were that big of a deal LOL. Admitted Shaq is cool and all, but he clashes with their old playing style... granted they lost all the time with their old playing style .

[Kaligraphic]

Yeah, that's the clash. Actually winning is so gauche.

[Peanut]

Battle 7

NMA1: Good evening folks! Well it has been one long tournament filled with disappointment and defeat…but today it ends!

NMA2: Your still upset about Ryuken losing…aren’t you…

NMA1: This final will not be as epic as it could be, because neither of these fighters names startr with the letter R and end with yuken…

NMA2: Yep…your still upset…

NMA1: But, a champion will be crowned when Zarn…er I mean Zann Ishtare takes on Mirzen!

NMA2: Both fighters have cut their way through the competition using two different styles. Mirzen has one by pure skill and musical talent while Zann has gotten here thanks to luck, acting like Zarn Ishtare and barber lessons. Who will win this fight…well…seeing as how Zann is acting like Zarn…me thinks it will be Mirzen…but I could be wrong…

*The virtual arena reveals a stadium, filled with fans…but not just any stadium…a Pokemon stadium! Two trainers walk out onto the field, and unleash the combatants for the final fight.*

Trainer1: Go MIrzen!

Trainer 2: Zann Ishtare, I choose you!

NMA2: Well...this is rather cheesy…

NMA1: I wonder how they fit in those tiny balls…

*Zann and Mirzen appear in flashes of bright light…Rir appears on the sideline…*

Rir: Go Zann…eat him…and the moon…

*A referee appears on the sideline and signals for the battle to begin.*

Mirzen: Well, well well…this is it Zann…the last dance!

Zann: I know…hey…aren’t you supposed to have a spiel about how I look like Zarn Ishtare.

MIrzen: Meh…I decided to skip that part…

Zann: Oh…ok…um…now what…

Mirzen: This…*Mirzen charges Zann with a blade drawn and almost catches him off guard. Zann forms an energy blade and manages to just block the attack. The two of them begin to teleport around the arena as they engage in an impressive spectacle of bladed combat. It was truly awe inspiring…*

Zann: Your quite good…

Mirzen: So are you…however…let’s see how you handle this! *Mirzen’s blade suddenly is replaced with a longstaff, Zann attacks only to have that attack parried and countered by Mirzen.*

Zann: How’d you…

Mirzen: Training with one weapon is foolish…personally I’ve mastered several…how about you…

Zann: *Zann counts to himself…* Does wit count?

Mirzen: No…

Zann:...ah who needs proficiency in multiple weapons anyway! Brute force always prevails! *Zann charges, this time wielding a comically large energy sword…however Mirzen parries his blow and, suddenly, attacks him with a concealed knife cutting him across. Zann tries several more times, only to have the exact same thing happen to him…*

Mirzen: You know what they say…speak softly and carry a big stick! *Mirzen smacks Zann on the head…hard, driving his face straight into the ground.*

NMA2: Well, it appears that once again an Ishtare has come this far only to be smacked down by a superior opponent.

NMA1: Yeah I guess this is the destiny of all Ishtares…failure…

Zann: I’m not done yet…*Zann hops up*

Mirzen: Wait…how were you able to speak clearly…your mouth was in the ground…

Zann: Um…actually I don’t know…your right that is kind of odd…

Mirzen: I guess it’s just one of those mysteries of life…

Zann: Yeah…like why we’re here…

Mirzen: Well that’s actually kind of easy…

Zann: Really you know?

Mirzen: Yeah…but I’m not telling you…*suddenly, a safe smashes Zann* And that’s why…hehe…thank you cartoon antics.

NMA1: Oh and Mirzen has just landed the final blow with a classic cartoon…thing…

NMA2: Cartoon thing?

NMA1: You know what I mean…

*The crowds applause*

Mirzen: Thank you! I’m here till Tuesday…*a hand shoots up from the ground and grabs Mirzen’s ankle.* What the…

*Zann explodes out of the ground carrying Mirzen into the air with him.*

NMA2: Oh and just when you thought it was over, Zann reappears!

Zann: This is where it ends! *Zann twirls Mirzen around and flings him to the ground. He then collects a ridiculous amount of energy and fires it…however…he misses…*

Mirzen:…ok…

Zann: Curses…I knew I should have worked on my aim…

*Zann fall to the earth…and smacks even harder then Mirzen. Mirzen jumps up and walks over to Zann’s crumpled body.*

Mirzen: Guess you aren’t too good at falling…oh well…it’s been fun but it’s time to end this…*Mirzen summons a rather large axe. He lifts it over his head, but right before he can swing another much larger safe falls on him, killing him instantly!*

NMA1: I don’t believe it! Zann Ishtare has done it! HE’S WON! HE’S THE NEW CHAMPION!

NMA2:…wow…guess failure doesn’t run in the family…

*The virtual fans storm the field; they hoist Zann on their shoulders and carry him to the middle of the stage. Zann pumps his fist in the air and screams with joy. He has done it…he has won. The crowd, suddenly tosses Zann to the ground and starts to beat him…like an angry mob…*

NMA2: What?! This…this isn’t in the computer’s program!

NMA1: Yeah! This is supposed to be an inspiring moment worthy of inspiring a movie! Not a mob scene!

*The crowd suddenly disappears…and in their place stand seven very familiar figures…*

Zann: It can’t be…it’s…

NMA1: THE OLD OF NATIONS AND STATERS!!!

*Yes…before Zann stood PASCAL, Peanut, Puritan, Lord Kalvin’s head, Temulin, Hakaii, and Rei.*

PASCAL: Hello…Zanny boy…ready to die…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*To be continued…in an epic three part battle…*

[Peanut]

(OOC: I have a special for you guys today...the first part of an epic three part conclusion...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

The Final Battle

Part 1: The Summoning

*Zann stands up…and gapes at the spectacle before him…*

Zann: How…why…what are you…

Peanut: *sigh* He just doesn’t get it…

Puritan: Allow me to explain…Snarf…

Zann: Puritan…how did you get your brain back!

Puritan: I made a new one…it wasn’t hard…Snarf…

Peanut: Um…what’s with the “Snarf” at the end of your lines…

Puritan: I didn’t say it was perfect…SNARF!

PASCAL: No…I summoned you all here…allow me to explain…you see Zann…

Zann: Your going to try and take over the world again…aren’t you…

PASCAL: No…it’s simpler then that Zann…you see we don’t like how this tournament ended…with you, an underdog, getting carried off in victory…

Temulin: So we took it on ourselves to give it a more fitting ending…

Lord Kalvin: One with you either decapitated, brainless, in drag or on a luxurious cruise…*everyone stares at Lord Kalvin* Hey it isn’t my fault Hakaii’s vacation cost him a match…

Zann: No…I won’t allow it! This is my victory!

PASCAL: For now…yes…however it won’t be for long…I actually have to thank you, you’ve made this easy for us…

Hakaii: Yeah, we were expecting that your “pals” would show up and defend you…but they’re all dead…or married…

PASCAL: So really it is you against the 7 of us…or should I say…the 8…

Zann: Oh no…no…you wouldn’t…

PASCAL: Oh…we would Zann…we would…

*Oh great…I feel a song coming on…but not just any song…a summoning song…*

*Metal Music begins to play…*

Lord Kalvin: Musta-Krakish, Musta-Krakish,


PASCAL:The time has come, to awaken him.


Peanut: I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld, To bring forth this beast and,

The old Of Nations and Staters: Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken, Take the land, that must be taken. Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken, Devour worlds, smite forsaken

Rei: Rise up from your thousand year-old sleep, Break forth from your grave eternally.

Old Of Nations and Staters: I command you to rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise.

Lord Kalvin: I'm the conjurer of demons, I'm the father of your death. I bring forth the ancient evil, I control his every breath.

Temulin: I instigate your misfortune, With the birth of killing Zarns. I awaken armageddon, Feeding on a thousand souls.

Old Of Nations and Staters: Awaken, Awaken, Awaken, Awaken,

[Crazy Guitar Solo played by Lord Kalvin…with no hands]

Old of Nations and Staters: Musta-Krakish, (musta) Musta-Krakish, (musta) Musta-Krakish, (musta) Musta-Krakish, (musta),

*Zann begins to twitch…guess he doesn’t like Dethklok…*

Old Of Nations and Staters: Musta-Krakish, (musta) Musta-Krakish, (musta) Musta-Krakish, (musta) Musta-Krakish, (musta)

Lord Kalvin: Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken, Take the land, that must be taken. Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken, Devour worlds, smite forsaken

Hakaii: Rise up from your thousand year-old sleep, Break forth from your grave eternally. Weak will die and land will all be burned Zarn Ishtare king and death to worlds.

Old Of Nations and Staters: I command you to Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, And awaken.

*The world stands still…a smirk creeps across PASCAL’s cold metal face…*

PASCAL: He’s here…

*The ground began to shake as a burning metero thingy came crashing down to the stadium…once the dust had cleared…Zarn Ishtare slowly stood up…*

Zarn: You had to choose Dethklok to summon me…

Peanut: Hey…it fits…

Zarn: *sighs* Well…I guess I can’t complain…you guys did well…

Zann: No…you too…

Zarn: Oh…has PASCAL deceived you? You see Zann…I am the one who summoned these fools here!

Zann: Is this…true…

PASCAL: Darn…and here I was hoping I could get credit for this…oh well…I guess I can’t always be the main villain…yes this was Zarn’s idea…

Zarn: You see Zann…I had you trained so that you would fail…I even sent Fenris to give you advice…and trust me…he never gives good advice…

Zann: I noticed...but why? Why would you do it?

Zarn: Because your more awesome then me! And I hate being a failure! So…I’ll kill you and prove that I am not a failure!

Zann: No…no…you wouldn’t…

Zarn: Oh….I would *Zarn draws a blade of energy* And I will…

Peanut: You mean we…

Zarn:…fine we…gosh aren’t I allowed to do one thing by myself?!

Hakaii: Nope…cause I missed my fight with you…so I am required to do at least one thing…

Zarn:…alright…let’s do this…*All of the Old Of Nations and Staters launch their attack and…*

[Peanut]

Part 2: The Defeat

Zarn:…alright…let’s do this*All of the Old Of Nations and Staters launch their attack and…*Hey…didn’t we go through this already*…Zarn, what’s the first rule of any story with an omnipotent and omniscient narrator* Um…don’t question the narrator…*Exactly…do that again and I’ll make sure that you fail at more than just life and everything…as I was saying…All of the Old Of Nations and Staters launch their attack and are suddenly blocked by all of the new Of Nations and Staters who participated in this tournament…who are all alive surprisingly and, in Genki’s case, married...Genki screams for some random reason…hmmm…*

Zann: Bout time you showed up.

*Zarn grabs PASCAL by the neck and begins to shake the robotic life out of him*

Zarn: I told you take measures to make sure they were permanently locked out of the system!

PASCAL: I did, and I even gave the codes to Lord Kalvin for safe keeping.

Lord Kavlin: Yeah, and I gave them to the Aki since I have no pockets.

*In the Virtual Arena control room.*

*Aki sits in a chair behind the computer which determines who can enter and leave the virtual arena and shakes his fist at the nearby TV screen displaying the recent events.*

Aki: That’s what you get for being such a horrible agent!

*Back in the Arena*

Zarn: Well, it doesn’t matter. We’ll just have to take care of them the old fashioned way. With fists, Zero Shifting and ZPEBs!

Zann: You ready guys.

Ryuken: I will make them experience pains they have never dreamed of!

*The two groups faced each other and a light breeze blew some random fliers between them…Rir sat on the sideline watching, suddenly Fenris appeared next to him.*

Fenris: I’ve got six bucks on the side which has the short guy with reddish brown hair.

Rir: But both Zarn and Zann have reddish brown hair.

Fenris: Yep.

Rir: So you’re betting on both of sides.

Fenris: Yep…that way I can’t loose.

Rir: Ok…I’ll bet against you…I bet you 12 bucks that neither side will truly win.

Fenris: Deal…hehe…those bucks will be mine!

*And then, they clashed in a series of 8 individual battles all occurring at the same time! Ryuken verses PASCAL, Zohar verses Peanut, Genki verses Rei, Komai versus Temulin, Puritan versus Mirzen, Lord Kalvin verses Xaxstrom, Raven verses Hakaii, and, of course, Zarn verses Zann. The fights were intense and seemed to be equally contested. Each side would gain the upper hand only to lose it within the next moment. However this wasn’t to last, slowly each of the New Of Nations and Staters were defeated by their Older counterparts…it all started with Zohar.*

*Zohar verses Peanut*

*Two large chunks of ice hit each other, shattering into a million pieces.*

Zohar: Give it up Peanut. We both know that I’m the stronger of the two when it comes to the Ninja Monkey arts and using Lotan.

Peanut:*smiling* And that is exactly why you will lose.

Zohar: Right…

Peanut: Haven’t you been paying attention to the past two tournaments? The contestants who brag about their strength always lose! *Peanut charges Zohar, who sighs and prepares to land the final blow. When suddenly, from the ground emerged a thousand Peanut clones. They grabbed a hold of Zohar and began to glow.*

Zohar: Uh-O*Before Zohar could finish the “Oh” in “Uh-Oh” the Peanut clones exploded. Surprisingly he didn’t die, however he was knocked unconscious.*

*Ryuken verses PASCAL*

*Ryuken and PASCAL engage in the craziest hand to hand combat the world has ever seen, PASCAL suddenly zero shifts away and begins to cast some monstrously strong spell. Ryuken, however, laughed.*

Ryuken: This fight is over…during that last sequence of hand to hand combat I pressed all of your power points. You should die in a few seconds.

PASCAL: *smiling in a way that only a computer with a psychotic vendetta against all living things can smile* I know, I let you…however there’s one tiny problem. You see my body is manufactured meaning that I have no power points…so your attack was quite useless…however this attack won’t be!*PASCAL cast’s Ultima, Ryuken summons up his aura and manages to block it…however it came at a high cost, draining him of all of his energy and guaranteeing PASCAL’s victory…all that was left was the final blow.*

*Genki verses Rei*

*Rei and Genki fight with their rather interesting bladed weapons, making sure that they cause the most amount of sparks fly with each hit.*

Rei: You’re quite good for someone who tied the knot.

Genki: You had to bring that up…

Rei: Yep…however I think it is time to end this…so…I call upon THE WIZARD!

*The Alltell Wizard suddenly appears in a puff of smoke.*

The Alltell Wizard: I banish you to a world so dark and twisted that not even you can survive!

Genki: Really! This is better then getting a divorce!

The Alltell Wizard: A world of infinite Komai’s!

GenkI: NO!!!!*Genki suddenly disappears*

*Komai verse Temulin*

*Komai suddenly felt a pain in her heart…Genki had left her for a million Komai’s! Komai begins to cry, her dream had been crushed. Temulin came over and comforted her.*

Temulin: There there…I can tell you how to summon him back from that dimension.

Komai: *sniff* Really…

Temulin: Yeah…all you have to do is…*Temulin stabs a Spork in Komai’s eye* DIE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!*Komai begins to run around the arena, screaming and bleeding while Temulin chases her with two sporks.*

*Xaxstrom verses Lord Kalvin*

*Xaxstrom fires large quantities of light at Lord Kalvin. Lord Kavlin responds by eating them with darkness.*

Xaxstrom: You cannot prevail! Even the dimmest of lights can conquer the darkest darkness!*Suddenly, a cab pulls up, and out pours some of Lord Kalvin’s zombie followers who have finally returned from making a killing at Vegas. The trip had left them a little hungry so they decided to feast on Xaxstrom…starting with his hair. Needless to say, Xaxstrom was defenseless to such a hungry attack, and quickly found his hair being slowly consumed by Lord Kalvin’s zombie hordes…good thing he has a lot of hair…*

*Puritan verses Mirzen*

*Puritan zero shifts around the arena dodging Mirzen’s various attacks.*

Mirzen: Hold still will you!

Puritan: No, Snarf!

Mirzen: Your more cowardly then I thought.

Puritan: So that’s what you think this is Snarf.

Mirzen: Well all you’ve done so far is run from me…so yeah, you’re a coward.*Suddenly Puritan turned and punched Mirzen in the face, who happened to be right in front of a rather hard wall…despite that he still managed to get driven through that wall and was left with a debilitating headache.*

Puritan: It’s called strategy, and I suggest you start using it Snarf!

*Raven verses Hakaii*

*Raven tosses various rocks and other things at Hakaii. Hakaii manages to block them, however he actually looks out matched…in fact he sort of is seeing as how whenever he tries to attack, Raven just picks him up with her telekinesis and flings him back.*

Hakaii: Grr…

Raven: HA! If only you *Suddenly, the burning corpse of Horus falls from the sky and crushes Raven.*

Hakaii: I hate to sacrifice Horus…but it *Horus begins to lift off of the ground* Impossible!

*Oh yes, it was quite possible…however lifting Horus required a tremendous amount of energy from Raven, making it impossible for her to do anything else but prevent it from crushing her completely…and even so she wouldn’t be able to hold Horus like this for much longer since she was slowly running out of energy. It was just a matter of time before Raven would become a pancake…*

*Zarn verses Zann*

*Zarn and Zann charge at each other, letting their steal connect in a brutal force that causes the ground around them to crack.*

Zarn: I must say…your quite good…*Zarn kicks Zann causing him to fly backwards. Zann responds by firing a bolt of energy at him which knocks Zarn back several feet.*

Zann: You too…*The clash again.*

Zarn: It’s kind of sad that I have to end this…

Zann: Right…sure because you’re clearly better than me…I mean I won my tournament…

Zarn: Yes but you didn’t fight PASCAL…oh well…I’ll put you in your place…*Zarn unleashes his Stormcrow wings…and suddenly becomes a lot more powerful…*

Zann: Gosh what is it with you people and wings!

Zarn: They look cool…sort of like trench coats…

Zann: Right…*Zann’s blade suddenly breakds and Zarn cuts him across the chest. Zarn then focuses his arcane energy into a massive bomb…a bomb which was meant for Zann…*

*Well…it looks rather hopeless for our New Of Nations and Staters. Will they survive? Will Genki and Komai get back together? Will the Ninja Monkey Announcers do their job?! Seriously guys what could you be doing which is more important then this!*

NMA2: Do you have any 3’s?

NMA1: Nope, Go Fish.

*…ok…Tune in next time for the conclusion to the Second annual Of Nations and States Tournament!*

[Peanut]

Part 3: The End

*All hope seemed to be lost for the New Of Nations and Staters, especially Zann who was faced with certain destruction at the hands of an insanely large amount of arcane energy.*

Zarn: Any last words?

Zann: Yeah, your breath stinks.

Zarn:…ok…*Zarn begins to throw his massive bomb of arcane energy when suddenly, a moogle smacks him in the face, causing him to miss Zann entirely.* CAN’T I KILL ONE PERSON WITHOUT HAVING THE ENTIRE WORLD INTERFERE!

*It was at that moment that they descended…a group which had been neglected…the Of Nations and States rejects…lead by Artimidorus this crew of unlikely heros was ready to make their presence felt by beating the tar out of the Old Of Nations and Staters. There was Monkey J. Luffy, king of a small country the size of Rhode Island and most famous for helping Peanut kill Rei…sort of. There was Q, who had already made an appearance in this tournament and desperately wanted to get revenge on Temulin for destroying her home…even though Temulin had nothing to do with it. Moley again showed up…except he was now rather…rabid. Speaking of rabid…look it’s DaRabbidDuckie! Yes, the former leader of Temuopolis who mysteriously left for law school and never returned has finally appeared out of nowhere! Marik Ishtar, a person who is/isn’t related to Zarn and Zann…really nobody knows…Taran, who was unable to participate in this tournament because he just joined the Rp. And last but not least, there was Peanut, not the world leader but the historian who is a pacifist…Surely such a change of events must have made an impression on our announcers!*

NMA1: Gosh your really good at go fish.

NMA2: So are you…

*…when this is all over they are going to be in for such a beating…*

Artimidorus: Hello Zann, I brought some help…

Zann:…um…yeah…thanks…I guess…

Artimidorus: You don’t trust us?

Zann: There’s a reason none of you made it into this tournament…and that’s because you all suck…

Zarn:…and I thought I had to worry about something…all right if you guys want to die...that can be arranged.

*The Rejects quickly split off and began to engage the Old Of Nations and Staters in combat…since apparently duels are the cool way to go. And, not surprisingly, the rejects were actually better then the old Of Nations and Staters…what did you really think I was going to write an ending where the good guys lose?*

*Temulin vs. Q*

*It was no surprise that this was the most intense battle of them all. With tons of Sporks, moogles and other random objects being flung haphazardly. After some time, however, Q gained the upper hand. Finally, a moogle smacked Temulin in the face so hard that it knocked her down. Q had won.*

Q: It’s over Temulin.*Q pulls out a very familiar object from some weird void in space and time…it was the Matchmaker!*

Temulin: No…NO! YOU WOULDN’T!

Q: Time to kill two birds with one stone…*Q fires the Matchmaker at Temulin, instantly locking her in wedlock to the one individual she despises. The one individual with hair red like Reno’s…The one individual who already had a very rocky relationship with Temulin. Yes, Temulin was now officially married to…The Brick?!*

The Brick: Well this was unexpected…

Temulin: NO!!!! ANYONE BUT HIM!!!!!

Q:…But…I thought…Zarn…

The Brick: Psh…if you wanted her to be married to Zarn you should have set the device to “rumored romance that is guaranteed to cause Temulin to spork the writer of this tournament,” not miserable…

Q:...oh well

*Peanut vs. Peanut*

*This battle was uneventful…Peanut kept attacking Peanut, only to have Peanut quickly dodge his attack and make some comment about the fact that he wasn’t going to fight him.*

Peanut: Give it up Peanut…you know you can’t win. You’re a pacifist…

Peanut: Exactly…

*The non pacifistic Peanut stops a moment…then realizes his mistake…*

Peanut: Crud…*the non pacifistic Peanut suddenly explodes in a blast of Peanutty goodness for breaking the sacred rule of bragging about his own power…*

*DaRabbidDuckie vs. Puritan*

Puritan: Your mine SNARF!!!

*DaRabbidDuckie skillfully dodges Puritan’s fist and then removes the battery from his cyborg attachments, shutting him down immediately.*

DaRabbidDuckie: The quiet lotus never strikes it’s prey, only waits and then eats with it on a sunny Sunday.

Mirzen:…you just made that up didn’t you…

DaRabbidDukie: Yep…why was it good?

Mirzen: Stick to law school…

*Moley vs. PASCAL*

*PASCAL stares at Moley, who happens to be both twitching and foaming at the mouth.*

PASCAL: Gosh…what is this…the third time I’ve been mauled to death by you…*Moley jumps on PASCAL and mauls him to death…however PASCAL’s calculations were wrong. The first time Moley killed him it was with an Omni slash…so this was really only the second time that PASCAL was mauled to death.*

*Marik vs. Hakaii*

Hakaii: You’ll never be able stop me and save Raven! Nobody can handle the weight of Horus!

*Marik pulls out a Yu-Gi-Oh card, and throws it at Horus, the force of the card hitting Horus happened to be just enough to knock it off balance causing it to fall on Hakaii, crushing him just like he said.*

Marik: I’d say something witty here…but I can’t think of something…

Raven: You should have screamed Timber when Horus began to fall…

Marik:*ponders that for a second* Darn…

*Zarn vs. Artimidorus*

*Unfortunately for Artimidorus…Zarn was a much better fighter then him. It also didn’t help that Q’s plan sort of backfired…however Artimidorus did have one thing going for him…strategy….a strategy which consisted of running away and making blatant references to a certain fairy tale involving a certain type of manly cookie…really mature Artimidorus…real mature…*

Zarn: Come back here!

Artimidorus: Run, Run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me I’m the Ginger Bread Man!

Zarn: If you keep that up, I’m going to make sure that you are a Ginger bread man!

*Suddenly Artimidorus stopped, and so did Zarn. It was at this point that all of old Of Nations and Staters had been defeated and all of the rejects and the new Of Nations and Staters had decided to get a little payback against Zarn…16 to 1 are not good odds.*

Zarn:…well this sucks…*They all attacked at once…and to make a long bloody story short, Zarn was defeated…badly…and sent back to where he came from…hehe…YouFail.org anyone?*

*And so the second annual Of Nations and States tournament came to an end…wait a minute…what happened to Rei, Taran, Lord Kalvin and Monkey J. Luffy…*

LK:*looking at some cards, LK then dramatically pushes a large stack of chips into the center of a poker table* I’m all in…

Taran: Poker is so much fun…

Monkey J. Luffy: Yeah…

Rei: Weren’t we supposed to destroy each other?

Taran: Wait…you mean this wasn’t a poker tournament?

LK:*A sock randomly appears in Rei’s mouth…preventing him from saying another word* No…of course this was a Poker tournament…no killing of us involved…hehe…right Rei *Rei mumbles something* See…*Taran and MJL both shrug and continue playing*

*That crafty crafty lord of Undeath…well this has been another Of Nations and States Tournament…I’m your narrator signing off because the two Ninja Monkey Announcers are to lazy to do it themselves…stupid monkies…*

[Dante]

: Rei walks in and drops a boombox into the closet, sets the volume on max and play on repeat and then locks the closet with the only available key before walking out of the room and sticking a crowbar on the door... :

"Temuoplis! Temuoplis!
Temuoplis rules the waves!
Temuoplins never ever ever, ever will be slaves!"
Repeat...

[Kaligraphic]

*Enslaves Temuoplis*

[Peanut]

*Eats Temuoplis...yum*
Yes, I know you already enslaved it Kali...but I was hungry...and Temuoplis is cinnamon flavored...and spicy...

[USSRGirl]

It tastes like Cinnamon Puffin Puffs with a hint of Mongolian beef, Soviet vodka and napalm. But free Puffin Puffs, beef, vodka and napalm nonetheless.

[Dante]

But it gives you the worst heartburn you've had in your life...

[Peanut]

...hey...how did you guys know that I set Temuoplis on fire before I gulp it down...