The Expendables: You can't handle testosterone of that magnitude!

[rocklobster]

Well, the obligatory "guy movie" of the summer is coming--The Expendables. Just think about it. Stallone AND Schwarzenegger in the same movie!

[GrubbTheFragger]

No, no, no think about this...............Stallone, Lee, Stathem, Willis, Schwarzenegger all in the same movie. This is power thirst the movie

[Rusty Claymore]

It does have Willis? I thought I saw him, but it didn't give his name in the big impressive letters. Willis and Lee are why I'm gonna see it.

[Roy Mustang]

The Expendables:

Sylvester Stallone as Barney "The Schizo" Ross, a paramilitary veteran and leader of the team.

Jason Statham as Lee Christmas, second in command of the team. He is a former SAS soldier and expert at close quarters combat using knives.

Jet Li as Yin Yang, a Chinese expert of martial arts.

Dolph Lundgren as Gunnar Jensen, a Swedish sniper dealing with his inner demons.

Terry Crews as Hale Caesar, Yin's best friend and a heavy weapons specialist.

Randy Couture as Toll Road, demolitions expert.

Mickey Rourke as Tool, a former Expendable, now an arms dealer and tattoo parlor artist/owner.


Bruce Willis as Mr. Church, the man who hires the Expendables.

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Trench, an old rival of Ross and the former leader of the original Expendables.

It's not known how much screen time those two get and I feel that it will be very little.

[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Red"]Col. Roy Mustang[/color][/font]

[Bobtheduck]

I know Terry Crews is an action star and bad-a image, but I've watched the first 2 seasons of Everybody Hates Chris about 10 times since I've come to KOrea, and that's what I think of when I see him.

This movie... Man... It's like Oceans 11 (with nothing but action movie stars), but it won't suck! (I hate caper movies) You know who it's missing, though? Mr T and Jean Claude Van Damme.

[GrubbTheFragger]

Actually funny thing, the script writer offered Jean Claude Van Damme a part as well as kurt russel neither when in because JCVD wanted to read the script first but they said no and Kurt Russel was working on the Thing prequel.

[rocklobster]

Isn't Stone Cold Steve Austin in this too? I thought I saw him in a trailer. Wonder if he'll say one of his famous catch phrases.

[Ginga_kitsune]

I REALLY want to see this movie. Jet Li is in it and he is like my fav action movie actor EVER!

[GrubbTheFragger]

Isn't Stone Cold Steve Austin in this too? I thought I saw him in a trailer. Wonder if he'll say one of his famous catch phrases.

yes he is

[Ingemar]

Save your money.

This movie sucks.

[Nate]

Don't listen to Ingemar.

This movie was good, not as good as it could have been, but very good.

Anyone who hates this movie isn't the kind of person who should be seeing it in the first place. Ask yourself this question:

Do I want to see a deep, thought-provoking movie with complex characters and realistic meaningful relationships?

If yes, then you clearly hate action movies. Don't bother.

If your answer is no, then do you want to see people blow things up, and see a bunch of real men do awesome things?

If yes, then you clearly love action movies. See this immediately.

The only real complaint is the fight scenes have shaky-cam and could have been edited better. It is not enough to ruin the movie. Besides, you get to see Jet Li fight Dolph Lundgren on the big screen. If that sentence didn't make you go "OH HELL YES" then you don't know anything about action movies and probably wear frilly pink dresses at your tea parties. And while Terry Crews is sorely, SORELY underused, his defining scene is so awesome that you NEED to go see it in theaters because it will not have the same impact on a regular TV.

Don't listen to the man who hates action movies. Would you trust someone who hates anime if they reviewed Baccano! and said it sucked? Nope. So listen to me, the guy who loves action movies, and go see this movie now!

[shooraijin]

Alas, Schwarzeneggar only has a cameo. And I will restrain from making the obvious political joke followup.

[Nate]

Yeah it was sad he didn't really do anything, but the scene was still amazingly awesome, since it was basically just him and Sly taking verbal jabs at each other. I know he couldn't do much more because of his job...I heard a few groups in California were boycotting the movie even for the small scene he did (which couldn't have taken more than a day of shooting at the MOST).

Plus, the line when he left was awesome and the whole theater erupted into laughter. It was great.

[Ingemar]

When I first heard of this movie, I believed it couldn't possibly live up to the hype and that it depended solely on star power to generate box office revenues.

In that sense, I wasn't disappointed.

Now a movie with all the previous (and some current) titans of action could have been many things. It could have been a humongous action fest. It could have been a parody of a humongous action fest. It could have been a love letter to the fans who have been starved of 80's style action for decades.

It was none of these things. It was just a standard action movie played completely straight. (With the notable exception of the Ahnuld cameo). Worse, it was a more sedate version of a standard action movie.

Yes, I liked the explosion fest in the end. However, I liked that same explosion fest when Ahnuld did it in Commando, by himself, with more creative and cruel ways of killing minions and that movie, while stupid, had tons of amazing action. Expendables is slightly more stupid with significantly less action.

I agree with Spoony here when he says that Mickey Rourke easily has the best role in this movie. The unfortunate thing is that Rourke is not a part of any of the action and the tone of his surprisingly well written, well acted lines is a major departure from the rest of the movie and cast.

The only thing I found interesting was the subversive angle that the evil Latin dictator wasn't actually a bad guy. From what I've gathered of anti-war types (on the Right and Left), this isn't far from reality. But this movie doesn't take it far enough and being the mediocre piece of work it is, I didn't expect it to.



Finally, ask yourself this question: Would you see this movie if it didn't have those big name actors? Or if only one of those actors were present? If that were the case, "Expendables" would be a direct-to-video flop.

[AnimeGirl]

Kyaah! I'm the first girl to post in here O.O I actually wanna see this movie, believe it or not, and so does my mom! I really like action, and this looks promising. Plus Jet Li is in it! And alot of other famous people.

[Nate]

It could have been a love letter to the fans who have been starved of 80's style action for decades.

It was none of these things.

Actually it was that thing you just said. The love-letter to the fans of 80's style action movies. You even said yourself that the last part of the movie is basically just like Commando. That proves the point! How can this movie be not an 80's style action movie if you said yourself that it is exactly like one?

It was just a standard action movie played completely straight.

Again, yeah, duh! That was the entire point of the movie! Dolph Lundgren even said ""It's an old-school, kick-*** action movie where people are fighting with knives and shooting at each other." Stallone had said many times that there just weren't any big action movies like there were in the 80's, and this movie was meant to be just that.

Now again, is it as good as Commando or Predator or Cobra? No, of course not, but so what? That doesn't make it bad. That's like saying okay, Citizen Kane is like the greatest movie ever made, but Predator isn't Citizen Kane so Predator sucks. No, that's stupid logic. Predator is awesome even if it isn't as good as Citizen Kane. The Expendables is good even if it isn't as good as some of the other 80's movies.

I agree with Spoony here when he says that Mickey Rourke easily has the best role in this movie. The unfortunate thing is that Rourke is not a part of any of the action and the tone of his surprisingly well written, well acted lines is a major departure from the rest of the movie and cast.

Okay, agreed, Mickey Rourke is definitely the best role hands-down. However, Dolph Lundgren had an amazing role too, and he played it well. And Jet Li fought him. Which was awesome, and anyone saying otherwise just flat-out hates action movies, there's no two ways about it. You cannot say you love action movies if you don't think that scene was totally awesome.

But this movie doesn't take it far enough and being the mediocre piece of work it is, I didn't expect it to.

The movie wasn't about the dictator, although that was a nice touch. The movie was about the team, not him. He was just there as more or less a way to show "Hey this guy in the suit is totally evil."

Finally, ask yourself this question: Would you see this movie if it didn't have those big name actors? Or if only one of those actors were present? If that were the case, "Expendables" would be a direct-to-video flop.

That proves nothing. You're basically saying "Hey if this movie wasn't this movie would you see it?" I don't know, it doesn't matter. They're in this movie, and that's what matters. You might as well ask "Hey in Last Action Hero when they were in the video store and there was that cardboard cutout with Sylvester Stallone in Terminator 2, would he have been good in it?" Well he wasn't, so what's the point of thinking about it? Would Citizen Kane have been as heralded if it had the same cast and scenes but a different script? What kind of question is that?

Basically, this movie is awesome. It could have been more awesome, I do not deny this. I'm not saying it's the best action movie ever. That'd be dumb of me to say, because it clearly isn't. However, it IS an awesome action movie, and it is definitely, DEFINITELY worth the money. That's just the bottom line. If you want Shakespeare or if you want Commando, you're not going to get it. If you want an awesome action movie with a ton of really manly and awesome dudes, then you will definitely not be disappointed unless you just flat-out hate action movies. In fact, I'm pretty sure that anyone who gives this a negative review pretty much just hates action movies. So why are they reviewing it?

I can do that too. The Sound of Music is totally boring and therefore it sucks and nobody should watch it because it's so stupid, no one would sing all the time like that, ugh it's so bad, don't bother.