I've known Dan Edelen for over 25 years now. We met as students at Carnegie-Mellon University. We attended each others' weddings. We keep up occasional e-mail messages.
He is the writer of a very powerful Christian blog -- Cerulean Sanctum. I highly recommend reading it. Dan will be the first to admit he's a very intense guy, and he has some strong opinions. But his views are always extremely well thought-out, so much so that even if you feel like you disagree, you always come away pondering why it is you believe what you believe.
I've linked to his latest series -- concerning the Externally Motivated versus Internally Motivated Christian. I think it is essential reading. When Dan wrote this, I could tell it was something that had the power of Truth behind it. I suggest you carefully consider his thesis, and then see where you and your church stack up...
http://ceruleansanctum.com/2007/04/the-two-christianities-comparison-table.html
Your thoughts on the matter at hand appreciated via PM.