Corrupted wish game

[Ante Bellum]

Granted, now nobody can ever lie again.

I wish the school served better food.

[OfficerSting]

Granted. Now it costs $135 to eat in the cafeteria per day.

I wish that people could fly.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. But now nobody can land, not even to use the restroom.

I wish I had a normal back that wasn't fraught with scoliosis-esque problems.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. It's in a display case next to your TV. Why did you want such a disturbing bit of décor?

I wish for a mutant rabbit.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. But it just crushed you beneath its massive paw.

I wish I could take back some of the stupid stuff I say sometimes.

[Saved Gamer]

Granted. No one remembers anything you ever said to them. They don't remember you either.

I wish I was more motivated to work hard.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. Now you're a dull boy.

I wish I had some ice cream.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but you failed to wish for any cones, cups or, bowls. This is gonna get messy, fast.

I wish that mountain goats could yodel.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. But now they're everywhere, and they. never. stop.

I wish there were more "fat" actresses. You know, the ones who are, like, a size 8. HORRORS!

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted, but it's because they ate all the skinny ones. (not like that would be very filling, mind you)

I wish I could believe it's not butter.

[Ante Bellum]

Granted. But the truth is so horrifying that you lose the ability to speak, and can't tell anybody why because it's too embarrassing.

I wish that my Lit Mag class counted towards an English credit.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted, but now your English credits don't count toward your diploma.

I wish all the handouts for my upcoming English class were already completed.

[Tamachan319]

Granted, all the handouts given to your classmates are already completed. Your handouts, on the other hand........haven't been completed.
I wish for the ability to sleep for an hour and feel like I've slept for ten hours.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. Unfortunately, you can also be awake for an hour and feel like you've been awake for ten, so it really just becomes even more inconvenient.

I wish for Sam and Max to take my case.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. Samuel J Tilden and Maximilien Robespierre at your service.

I wish the hokey pokey was what it was all about.

[KeybladeWarrior]

Granted but you stick your whole self in and put your whole self out for all eternity.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. Now you're stuck with me. WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE?

I wish you were a better boyfriend, and that you would respond to the text messages I send you every 15 seconds.

[Atria35]

Wish granted. He takes that even farther, turning into a stalker that responds to everything you say in 15 seconds- in person.

I wish someone gave me flowers

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. But they wilted a long time ago.

I wish this creative streak would last.

[QtheQreater]

Granted. And it's even medium rare! Oh wait, streak? I thought you said...well, enjoy your dinner, anyway.

I wish that the bag of bean burritos in my fridge was never-ending.

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. But now I'm in your kitchen eating them, and you can't get rid of me.

I wish I could think of a better wish corruption than making people hang out with me.

[Diamond Dragon]

Granted, but now your all alone *sniff*

I wish I could run at lightspeed!

[Yuki-Anne]

Granted. But now you can't stop.

I wish I was a much better artist.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Granted. Unfortunately, you've become terrible at self-promotion, so no one ever sees your stuff.

I wish I wasn't having so much trouble with The Internet right now.

[Peanut]

Granted, now your having trouble with your power instead.

I wish College Football season would never end.

[QtheQreater]

Accursed Peanut.

Granted, but only in your head. The rest of us will be getting on with our college cricket matches.

I wish my college degree would make me some money.

[Corkyspaniel]

Your degree jumps off the wall and prints illegal money. You are arrested.
I wish it was Winter.

[Peanut]

Accursed Peanut.

HAHAHAHA!!!! I haven't stolen a wish in a while. Anyway...

Granted, its now winter but never Christmas...for you I mean. For the rest of us it's always Christmas and occasionally winter.

I wish this chair was more comfortable.

[QtheQreater]

Granted. Now that you've given it a good massage, newspaper, and cup of tea, you'll need to find somewhere else to sit.

I wish a small army of lawn gnomes would attack the campus post office.

[Peanut]

Granted, but you happen to be visiting said post office when they begin their epic siege...have fun being trapped in the campus post office for the next 3 years!

I wish that the tale of the lawn gnomes siege would be recorded so generations to come could enjoy it...and make movies about it.