Corrupted wish game

Spawned by the randomness of the general board, here are the threads where you can do fun, pointless things. You may test the forum's features and make signature or avatar requests. Posts made here do not go towards your post count.

Postby Atria35 » Sat Jun 26, 2010 9:36 pm

Granted. Mud pie, straight from the backyard!

I wish I had a stand mixer...
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Postby ILurvMusic » Sat Jun 26, 2010 9:39 pm

Granted, but then it breaks so it doesn't really "stand" it just sits there.

I wish that I knew how to make an edible cake that won't hurt anyone.
[font="Comic Sans MS"][color="LightBlue"]"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

by Maryanne Williamson
[/color][/font]
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Postby Atria35 » Sat Jun 26, 2010 9:44 pm

Granted. But it falls on the floor before anyone can taste it.

I wish I had some brownies!
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Postby ILurvMusic » Sat Jun 26, 2010 9:50 pm

Granted, but oops I already at them. So no brownies for you. >:]

I wish I had a car.
[font="Comic Sans MS"][color="LightBlue"]"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

by Maryanne Williamson
[/color][/font]
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Postby Kaligraphic » Sun Jun 27, 2010 1:01 am

Granted, you have an elevator car sitting in front of your house. Oh, and the city government wants to haul it away and charge you money for getting rid of it.

I wish Jaden Mental was the prettiest princess at the ball.
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.
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Postby ILurvMusic » Sun Jun 27, 2010 9:07 pm

Granted, but then everyone gets jealous of Jaden and ignores Jaden.

I wish that I could be able to draw.
[font="Comic Sans MS"][color="LightBlue"]"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

by Maryanne Williamson
[/color][/font]
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Postby Blitzkrieg1701 » Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:47 pm

Granted: you are now an expert at creating stick figures.

I wish Vincent Price had recorded a heavy metal album.
Image Image

[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Purple"]For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that one died for all, therefore all died; and he that died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14-15[/color][/font]
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Postby OfficerSting » Tue Jun 29, 2010 7:15 pm

Granted. Too bad it only has one song on it. The song is ten seconds long, by the way.

I wish I had the willpower to finish writing my novel.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." [SIZE="2"]Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)[/SIZE]
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Postby FllMtl Novelist » Tue Jun 29, 2010 7:22 pm

Granted. Then your computer explodes before you can save the novel to a back-up disk.

I wish I didn't have writer's block. :(
Hats wrote:"Frodo! Cast off your [s]sins[/s] into the fire!"

EllaEdric 06:53 -IM SO UNEQUIPPED TO BE A MAN ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Tue Jun 29, 2010 10:30 pm

Granted. Now, you just have aphasia (wikipedia.org).

I wish Google wasn't evil.
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.
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Postby Shilohan ninja » Wed Jun 30, 2010 12:21 pm

Granted. It no longer exists, though, so now you'll hafta switch over to Yahoo! or Bing. I perfer Ask.com myself.

I wish I was in Kansas.
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Postby Ella Edric » Wed Jun 30, 2010 1:46 pm

Granted. But now you have to go to Oz with Dorthy. :P

I wish I could draw better than I do.
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Postby Blitzkrieg1701 » Wed Jun 30, 2010 1:50 pm

Granted, although, by always drawing better than you do, it also follows that you never draw as well as you could. Then your art disappears in a puff of logic.

I wish our mailman was William Shatner.
Image Image

[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Purple"]For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that one died for all, therefore all died; and he that died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14-15[/color][/font]
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Postby OfficerSting » Thu Jul 01, 2010 2:44 pm

Granted. He lands the Enterprise on your house while delivering your mail.

I wish for a poncho.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." [SIZE="2"]Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)[/SIZE]
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Postby FllMtl Novelist » Thu Jul 01, 2010 2:52 pm

Granted, but it's itchy and a horrible green color. It clashes terribly with all your outfits, so you can't wear it, because that would be blasphemy.

I wish I could teleport into the pictures on my calendar. (And back out! :P)
Hats wrote:"Frodo! Cast off your [s]sins[/s] into the fire!"

EllaEdric 06:53 -IM SO UNEQUIPPED TO BE A MAN ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY.
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Postby Hohenheim » Thu Jul 01, 2010 3:41 pm

Granted. You teleport in, but find that time is frozen, as you would expect from a still photo, and that you cannot move.

I wish I were exactly 1 inch taller (without having to use shoes to add to my height).
[font="Arial Black"]"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness." - excerpt from the novel Brave New World[/font]

[font="Century Gothic"]"Is all this striving after ultimate meaning a massive delusion, a gigantic wish-fulfillment?...Could our symbol-rich world be of interest only to a pitiless nihilist? I do not think so." - Simon Conway Morris[/font]

[font="Century Gothic"]"Faith seeks understanding. I do not seek to understand that I may believe, but I believe in order to understand." - St. Anselm of Canterbury[/font]
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Postby FllMtl Novelist » Thu Jul 01, 2010 3:44 pm

Granted. Your new shampoo adds volume and lift!

I wish there were more hours in the day.
Hats wrote:"Frodo! Cast off your [s]sins[/s] into the fire!"

EllaEdric 06:53 -IM SO UNEQUIPPED TO BE A MAN ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Thu Jul 01, 2010 5:13 pm

Granted. There are now 48 hours in a day, but only 30 minutes in an hour. Well, for you, at least. The rest of the world just wonders why you added extra markings to your clock.

I wish more people would sport handlebar moustaches.
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.
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Postby Nate » Thu Jul 01, 2010 5:33 pm

Granted. More women are now sporting handlebar mustaches.

I wish I could be a useless piece of crap all day and play all these games.

(I have a feeling that the corruption of this wish isn't going to be what I want it to be, but we'll see if someone gets the reference.)
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Ezekiel 23:20
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Postby Blitzkrieg1701 » Sun Jul 04, 2010 8:23 pm

Granted, but it ends up stalling the topic for a few days.

I wish real fireworks (not just sparklers) could be legally purchased in this state.
Image Image

[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Purple"]For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that one died for all, therefore all died; and he that died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14-15[/color][/font]
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Postby FllMtl Novelist » Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:17 am

Granted, but nobody will sell them to you because they think you're an overzealous pyromaniac.

I wish I didn't have a stomachache.
Hats wrote:"Frodo! Cast off your [s]sins[/s] into the fire!"

EllaEdric 06:53 -IM SO UNEQUIPPED TO BE A MAN ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Mon Jul 05, 2010 1:15 pm

Granted, your stomach has been surgically removed by aliens.

I wish that FllMtl Novelist wouldn't starve to death from not having a stomach.
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.
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Postby FllMtl Novelist » Mon Jul 05, 2010 1:35 pm

Granted. I got zapped by the aliens' lasers instead. Look what you made me do!:waah!:

I wish goat milk pasteurized itself.
Hats wrote:"Frodo! Cast off your [s]sins[/s] into the fire!"

EllaEdric 06:53 -IM SO UNEQUIPPED TO BE A MAN ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY.
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Postby Nate » Mon Jul 05, 2010 4:47 pm

Blah, that's what I figured. :\ Well anyway...

Granted, but it tastes awful when it does.

I wish that the person who corrupted my previous wish had gotten my reference.
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Ezekiel 23:20
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Postby sailorsaturn » Tue Jul 06, 2010 3:22 pm

Granted, but now they never stop making references from where you got it from and annoy the heck out of you.

I wish I didn't have to do laundry.
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Postby FllMtl Novelist » Tue Jul 06, 2010 4:19 pm

Granted. The laundry does itself, and all your other chores. Then, around the time it becomes intelligent enough to repair your plumbing, it wonders why it's taking orders from you, and decides to smother you.

You were just murdered by clothes. You fail.

I wish I had a pair of ear-protectors I could use, and that work, and were always where I could find them.
Hats wrote:"Frodo! Cast off your [s]sins[/s] into the fire!"

EllaEdric 06:53 -IM SO UNEQUIPPED TO BE A MAN ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Tue Jul 06, 2010 5:25 pm

Granted. They protect your ears from nuclear doom. Unfortunately, in doing this, they sacrifice the rest of your head, leaving just two (protected) ears without a head.

I wish for lasagna.
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.
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Postby KougaHane » Tue Jul 06, 2010 6:52 pm

Granted, but it's venomous.

I wish I was a muffin.
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Postby Nate » Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:09 pm

Granted. You get eaten, since that's the obvious corruption of that wish, but it goes beyond that. You still feel physical pain as a muffin and retain consciousness, so you can feel the teeth tearing your body to shreds, grinding your body down, and your burning anguish as you become dissolved in the stomach acid. You form into poop, and then are flushed into a septic tank, where you will spend the rest of eternity wallowing in the feces of other human beings.

I wish it wasn't hot.
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Ezekiel 23:20
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Postby FllMtl Novelist » Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:40 pm

Granted. It's so cold your body freezes instantly.

I wish I didn't have to go to bed.
Hats wrote:"Frodo! Cast off your [s]sins[/s] into the fire!"

EllaEdric 06:53 -IM SO UNEQUIPPED TO BE A MAN ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY.
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